The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
(((Barbs))) My dad is an A as well as my AH - my dad did the same to my sister 7yrs ago and I have no idea how any of us will ever come to terms with it. It has caused so much pain and addiction in my sister's life. It's hard when the ppl around you have no clue - or don't believe it. It's hard pretending like the issues aren't what they are. Sometimes I want to scream outloud to everyone in my family and let them know abt the man he REALLY is. I wish you & your son continued healing and you're in the right place. (((hugs)))
Oh Barb, just remember you aren't walking alone. We're here and so is your HP. You sound so sad, the consequences of the disease are so, so devastating. I wish I could sit with you over a cup of tea. I'm praying for you and yours as well, that peace will come and forgiveness, too. Much love!
One reason I find it incredibly difficult to speak to my family of origin is that they sentimentalize our mother. One year is a pretty raw time. One year after my mother died my younger sister called and told me what was on her headstone. There was a reference there to a man who sexually abused me. I fell ont the floor.
I do pray for your family's healing. I know the sexual abuse issue has haunted me my whole life. I won't tell you it was easy working it through. I also wont' say it doesn't bother me anymore. I certaily have days when I can be absolutely triggered. I will say after years of treatment it isnt' there 24/7. That was not the case before but it certainly is there and somedays it is there far more than I can manage even now.
One year is a small amount of time. I doubt I will ever be able to visit my mother's grave. I choose when I am triggered if I can.
I hope you will take care of yourself at this time. I know how hard that kind of grief is to manage.
