The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For years I blamed the A's in my life for things that happened in my life. If I felt sad or distressed surely it was the doing of another. I could not see within myself , that I was allowing another's actions or reactions, or even non-actions, affect me so deeply. I was in a totally different frame of mind prior to Alanon. I gave my power away continually, and I allowed others to dictate how I was to feel or not feel, I didnt know that I had choices. It seemed that if everyone were not happy, and I was going to make darn sure that they were, even at my own expense and sanity, then I would be ok. If the A in my life was grumpy, then I too had to share in his grumpiness. If he was sad or distant, then too I must be sad and distant. But in Alanon I learned that I had choices ,"WHAT FREEDOM! I learned that just because the A's in my life were miserable, I could walk away, smile and even laugh if I wanted to! They do not dictate how my day should go. I can do that, and if I choose to not participate in their negativity, then I wont. PHEW!,,,,,,so simple
Oh, yes, sounds familiar. It has been very humbling for me to have to realize how much of my unhappiness I volunteered for - I could have chosen to be happy, instead, but I didn't.
Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are as happy as they choose to be." I think about that any time I feel my good energy being sucked away by someone in a negative frame of mind. It took alanon to figure it out!
Today's Reading in Courage to Change pg. 171 - Today's Reminder:
Blaming my discomfort on outside events can be a way to avoid facing the real cause-my own attitudes, I can see myself as a victim, or I can accept what is happening in my life and take responsibility for my response. I may be guided to take action or to sit still, but when I listen to the guidance of my Higher Power I will no longer be the victim of my circumstances.
What a great message - Thanks for starting this post, gardengal!! I needed to be reminded so much that I don't have to let my life be a "yo-yo" of emotions just because people in my life choose to keep living in unhealthy behaviors.
Thanks to recovery, Al-Anon, & MIP, I can continue to work on my attitude and take care of me.
Like you said, What great freedom.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
That's what happened to me a year ago. I finally stopped letting his actions (or lack of action) dictate my moods and emotions. It was amazing. I have back-slipped a little, but I am working to get back to that point.
Your post shows so much wisdom. I have several people going out of their to cause misery in my life and I am searching for a healthy way to look at the situation. Instead of blaming them, it is much better for me to not react with negative emotions and to turn it over to my HP.
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"If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed."
•:*¨¨*:•.•:* ♥¨*:•.•:*¨¨ *:• Ancient Chinese Proverb
