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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Do I let her go update....
Post Info TOPIC: Do I let her go update....
Denoraphy


Veteran Member

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Do I let her go update....
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To all of you who helped me see my way through this, thank you.  Last week I submitted a post about whether or not I should allow my 14 year old to attend a concert with my step daughter.  With all the feedback I got, I decided that my gut instinct to not allow her to go was just.  So, I simply told her "No, I do not feel that Sally (not her real name) is not old enough to attend a concert without me."  My stepdaughter said "ok" and that was the end of the converstation, but I could tell that she was fuming. 

Well, she proceded to do exactly what I expected she would do and that was to call my AH and complain to him.  But, low and behold he actually didn't just side with her.  He remained nutural and said that he supported my decision.   She is very upset that he is not taking sides with her and she has told him that if he does not support her on this that she is going to cut all ties with him!  What a manipulator!  I do feel sorry for my husband, but I feel so good about my decision.  Her behavior and how calmly I remained dealing with it has given me the verification that I am on the right track with my recovery.

Thanks for letting me share. 

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Kim65


~*Service Worker*~

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Good for you to stick to your guns. And just think, you don't have to go back and clean up a bunch of crap (i.e., no amends for angry talk, no amends to your daughter for not protecting her). Your actions made many points loud and clear to the step daughter without having to say a word to her. What a reinforcement this must be for you.

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Maria123


~*Service Worker*~

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Denorgraphy,

Welcome to Miracles in Progress!!!!

I find that when I have to make a tough decision, I examine my motives, pray, sometimes ask for help like you did, and then when I know my decision has been made for the right reason, I have no regrets even if there is disappointment.

Hope you keep coming,
yours in recovery,
Maria123

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If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?
Friendofyours


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 859
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Good for you!! I think you did the right thing. Maybe your dh is seeing a new and eye opening side to his precious daughter? The best part is your daughter is safe. Please keep coming back. ((HUGS)) ^i^

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