The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have hundreds of reasons NOT to go to a f2f meeting, thousands of excuses. I know I need to go, but I am afraid, I know there are people who need it more than me, those with active A's at home, blah blah blah. I just afraid to go.
Talking to people here, many have said the same, they too were afraid to go at first.
I plan on going every friday................. but then I freeze, get nervous, and don't go.
I was talking to edna in pm, and mentioned I was gonna get odat book at store. She knows I terrified of meeting, and had such a GREAT idea.
Instead of going to bookstore, go to meeting a bit late, and say I just came in to get book,then I have foot in door, and will help support alanon by gettting book there.
Whew, now I'm so exited about getting the book, and getting my foot in door.
If you are a new person here, and are afraid to go to meeting, this a good way to get in. I will let ya now how it goes after friday.
Thank you edna, you are so smart. You helped me first day I came to the room, and again today, I will aways remember you. Great Big HUGS
I have never been to a f2f meeting. This is all I had. I would say as long as you learn the steps and how to use them and keep being an active member to correct your life you will be ok. But that's also not for everyone. It worked for me though. I'm also active in my church. Just give it a try, you don't have to share anything. We will all be there in spirit with you. :) Good luck.
Well Eve you know how I feel about f2f meetings so won't go into lecture mode. hehe all i want to say is that u are n ot the first to under estimate your own pain (others who are hurting worse than me ) You miss so much by not attending real meetings , way to many reasons to list here. Good luck with the book hunt and if it's a really big meeting sit down and hide in the back row I did it for months easy to sneak out of before they start that huggy huggy stuff . HA ! and the only words u need to say is I will pass . good luck Louise
Abby is dead on. I have never been to a meeting where "I am just listening today" was not accepted. I've done it, and nobody even blinks. Those days I really needed to be there, but I was to raw to talk.
When ever I find myself making a thousand reasons not to do something, it is my way of trying to convince my HP that hes wrong. Just me...
This board is wonderful, and the meetings are just different than this. For me I need them both. Your heart will help you know what is right for you.
Take care of you!
-- Edited by rtexas at 15:11, 2007-05-12
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
This is from Just For Today bookmark which I used so much in the beginning of my alanon time. It gave me one or two bullet points to focus on with my recovery which took the focus off of the others in my life.
"Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do -- just for the exercise."
Keep coming yours in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I too have never seen a meeting where it was not OK just to pass. No one asks you for your credentials when you walk in the door - I suppose people who didn't even KNOW an A could sneak in if they wanted to.... Remember, every single person in that room was devastated in some way when they first came. They were all scared, and unsure if they belonged, Most had had their self confidence trampled on for years. We all remember our first meeting, when a newcomer comes in, and we make it as easy as we can.
There is something that you get from telling the truth, out loud, to another human being, that you don't get any other way. This board is a lifesaver, but the release you can get from doing that scary thing is something special that you do not need to deny yourself.
Another suggestion if you are uncomfortable walking in the room alone for the 1st time. If you call the local Al-Anon/AA hotline in your area - the answering service maybe able to give you a phone # of a long-time member.
You can contact this member, possibly get the member to met you outside and visit a few minutes before the meeting. Sometimes, just knowing one person when you walk into the room may make you feel a little more at ease.
I know that our f2f group does this and also tries to look in the parking lot for potential newcomers who appear to be looking for the meeting. I try to say "Hi" even if they are avoiding eye contact. Just trying to make them feel welcome.
Hope you are able to get the book & maybe then feel a little more comfortable attending the meeting.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
