The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been doing so good these past few weeks!! Keeping busy going out with friends, attending family functions, going to my childrens sporting events and doing things for me.
Today tho, well, its a dreary day and I've been thinking a lot about my ex A b/f. Remembering all our good times, reliving the bad times in my head and just missing him and his company. I want sooooo bad to pick up the phone and to call him but I am trying so hard to resist that temptation!! If I could just call him, say "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU" and hang up. I know I cant do that, but its something I wish I could do!! I know he wouldnt say those things back to me but in a way I want him to know how much today, at this very second, I miss him. Hopefully this wont be one of those long drawn out seconds because I know calling him is NOT in my best interest! I need to snap out of this missing him mode and continue on my lifes journey with a smile on my face and friends and family around me.
Today at this very second I hurt. I hurt because I miss him. Oh how I wish the sun would come out!! Maybe if it wasnt a dreary day I'd be busy doing something outside and wouldnt be sitting around right now thinking about him.
UGH I hate these tough days. At least they dont come as often as they used to!!
Sorry had to vent. Thanks for listening!!
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I know how you feel, I miss my husband too. I think that I miss the husband that could have been the idea of the perfect partnership. But that isnt reality not for me anyway. Say a prayer to your HP and ask for his strength to get thru for just one day.
Try to go thru your posts that might help too. I know that I often remember the good times and tend to forget about all the BAD.
I remember being there. It's ok to want to do that. I suggest writing a letter to him that will never be sent or journeling. It does get better. Your in my prayers
Perhaps you could write a letter and put it in your god box? These types of things always helped me because that way I could acknowlede my feelings and then let god handle them.