The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A.
The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caught up in old shame stuff.
So it looks like my best option is to put a complaint to the court that my A is violating the terms of our "business partnership", which makes removing the money from the joint account "understandable" from the court's POV. The subsequent two options are "dissolution" of the partnership, which means complete liquidation and he gets half of the proceeds. The second option is to essentially buy him out based on the current assessed value of the "business" or farm. I am choosing to go with the second option. I will have to go back to work as an RN, which is OK, not what I had in mind as a new homesteader, but it's worth it to keep the farm intact.
Both options suck pond scum but I knew they would, and nevertheless will aim myself in the direction of option #2. Sucking pond scum is by far a better choice than passively, fearfully, and angrily waiting for the sky to fall and destroy what I've worked so hard to create.
I feel positive and hopeful. I feel ready to look and see without hiding my head in the sand. I know this will not kill me or cause too many hangnails, and that HP is right there knowing what's going on, nurturing my best interests, whatever they may be.
It will be up and down and the valleys may be deep, the peaks too thin in the oxygen department, but I have the foundation to withstand it. So when I post and bawl or scream, remind me of that, OK???
Just wanted to let all my baby step supporters know the score, and thank you all for even CARING what happens to me!
Your staying positive. I wish my friend that was here could have read your post. I was trying to explain that there is always a way no matter what. We might have to take on more then we would like but it can be done and as long as we have a positive attitude it will all be ok. We do care what happens to you. I'm glad you know that we are all here for you...a family of sorts. :)
Way to stay with your dream. My AHsober of a long marriage has been skimming money off the top. It is my money too. I am making a budget and working on being self-sufficient. You go girl. Babysteps are good.
Yeah! No matter what, the reality of the situation never seems to be as bad as what we can make up in our minds. You have got to feel empowered just having taken the first step. Way to go girl!
Keep your eye on your dream...You sound positive. Keep taking care of you..you are worth it. Know that you will get thru this. It is going to work out..there may be valleys and when you need a little oxygen...don't forget to breath. Know we are here to listen when you feel like you need to bawl and scream....we really do care. your friend in recovery, rosie