The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't working his recovery program.. Any advice ?
Being scared in your situation is normal and also a choice. You are choosing to place yourself somewhere where he will be at and that makes your nervous. That's how it is and if you are prepared ahead of time for it? It maynot freak you out so much. You have many choices that you can make and one of them was checking in here. This is a place where we learn to make healthy choices for us so that we don't have to keep making ourselves suffer so much as victims of the disease of addiction.
Stick around and read the post and see what others have done that have helped them be less affraid and more courageous. Investigate those choices about face to face meetings and CAL (Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature) and the many suggestions that are passed from the experienced, recovering members to the newcomers.
You say he isn't working a recovery program...have you been working one? Keep coming back and give this program a try if you have not already been in it for a while.
For me, when I go anywhere that involves situations that make me a little uncomfortable or scared, it is important for me to have a Plan B or a type of "What if?" plan.
My Plan B has me very aware of my surroundings, keeps me where I always have access to an exit, emergency cash in a safe place, my keys easily accessible, my vehicle parked where I can leave (not blocked by other cars), etc.
Another thing I like to do is to take some time before I go and think, pray or meditate about what will work for me, what are my limitations, what can I accept or not accept, what will be some clues that my HP may be sending me that this situation may be unhealthy for me and that I may need to exercise my right to remove myself from this place.
These are just a few of the tools, options and choices that Al-Anon let me know that I had in learning to take care of me.
I hope that you have a nice and safe time tomorrow and if the situation does become unhealthy for you, I hope that you will be able to take care of yourself and find something else to do for yourself.
Wishing you peace, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I have to agree totally with Jerry...you are choosing to place yourself in a not so good situation. I personally would find something else to do especially knowing what you know. *scratching head*
