The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I'm going in circles with my a again.. I broke up with him finally.. I've been going to alanon meeting since Nov 2006.. I've learned alot about myself and the addiction.. Working the program is really hard but I haven't given up! I wish that I could say the same for him.. How do I hang on to the love I have for him when he doesn't love himself?
If you broke up with him why would you want to hang on to the love? The best thing you can do is pray that he finds what he is looking for (sobriety, happiness, ect) Keep an eye on bettering yourself and let him worry about his addiction. Good luck
Welcome to the MIP family - glad you have enjoy and benefitted from a recovery program. That is awesome that you are learning what is healthy for you.
Maybe the love that you have for him needs to be "shelved" right now? I don't know - that is for you to decide - but sometimes when our loved ones are not in a healthy place for us to be in contact with - we can take those feelings that we have for them and set them aside until we are better able to deal with them.
That doesn't mean that we put our entire lives on hold - it just means that we try to work on taking care of ourselves, living life on life's terms and embrace the day as it comes. Then if the loved one does eventually get to a healthier place - we can go back to that shelf - get that love & see what our Higher Power wants for us to do with that feeling.
It's ok to go ahead and live your life - to grow & take care of you - Everyone deserves to enjoy each and every day - to live Happy, Joyous & Free.
Wishing you peace, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
