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My 18 nephew died last mother day. His B-day is Sat. I am really missing him . How do you celebrate the 1st year without them? So people are telling me that should pretend like it is another day. Actually it was one of the best day of my life. I would tell him that every year.
Do something nice for yourself in rememberance of the person. Try writting the person a letter filled with love that you have for him even though you wont send it. then next year get it ou again and reread it.. Writting always makes me feel better.
It's nice that you would want to celebrate his life. I would probably do something intimatley with just yourself. Since he passed not too long ago it might still be a touchy subject and having a "party" might be disrespectful and out of taste. Maybe you can release balloons and say a prayers that you miss him. That's all I have to suggest. Out of respect for my brother or my sister I wouldn't do anything unless they offered. I might call them and let them know that you do remember his birthday and that you are thinking about him and you miss him and you just wanted to let them know he is always in your heart.
First, let me express my sympathy in the loss of your loved one. I hate so much that a young life was cut short by this disease.
Sissy,
There are tons of ways that you could celebrate his birthday - Like Diva said - something fun in honor of his memory, you could donate time to a local teen shelter, think about something you would have given to him - a funky T-shirt, cool hat or the latest cd - bring to the Nurse's Station at a children's hospital - The Nurses will know who needs a boost, bring a bunch of ballons &/or flowers to a Nursing home for the Young at Heart - who always could use a little smile, or if those make you uncomfortable you can always take a drive and picture him in the vehicle with you & just share with him how much he meant to you.
Just want you to know that you have the choice to spend the day the way you want - you can still respect other family members' wishes, but also have time to honor your grief & celebrate the special life of this young man.
((Sissy))
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
imo, grief and honoring our dead are healthy and necessary behaviours - treating it as "just another day" would be the same as stuffing it, which we are learning is UNhealthy and trying not to do.
How about making a donation to a charity in his name? Or make a tangible gift like others have suggested. Then go to the cemetery, if he's at one, and talk to him, tell him what you did, why you thought he'd like it - just how you might talk to him if he were there. If he's not, go to a cemetery anyway, & see if they have an area where you can sit and contemplate - like a bench by a statue - and talk to him anyway. Nobody who visits cemeteries will think this is weird (and it doesn't matter if they do, anyway).
If your sibling, his parent, wants to come along, you can offer that. They might not be ready for it. That's ok.
If you really want to "celebrate a birthday", take a cupcake with you, & put a candle in it & sing happy birthday to him. Happy birthday, sissy's nephew.
One way I have found in dealing with situations like this, is to take that day and give back. Do some volunteer work. On the day I lost a friend of mine to AIDS, I celebrate his life and the day he lost his battle, and donate it to charity. I go and visit AIDS patients, and I also visit children in the hospital. He loved his nieces and nephews so much. He was a kid at heart. I say, this is for us my friend, and raise a glass of apple juice to him.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
