once  i got my self busy.... it became easier for me to Let Go and Let God. 
Felt better too    as I learned in how to Let things Go. 

i can choose to  begin the minute i realize (begin the steps to turn it over) and move forward from there. Always.  
i can  choose    to get into the right frame of mind.  HP can help and does
*IF* i choose  to   Let It Go and Let God have those things that are not mind to take on.  Today  i know i Can.    and Today  I Can..Choose.

my alanon meetings are very important to me. i will, because i choose to,  make myself go even when i dont feel to.  remind myself that its ((always)) a joy to be with others that understand me.  its a joy to witness the es&h that is shared among members. and it is the best spoonful of medicine i can take for Me.  funny thing about meetings.., 10 times out of 10, someone shares .. and says the words  i need to hear. thats sooo wonderful.
i also must add that i love the online meetings available for me. i now have a choice. thats such a blessing in so many ways to Me.  For Me. :)
 
there are days my schedule will not let me make the drive to my f2f group.
i am so thankful for knowing that there is another means...the online meetings.  
i have never ever felt it was a mistake to go to a meeting.   just want to say that the  "90meetings in 90days," is a super super idea!

meetings are imperative  for me. i have always   felt better   in so
many ways after taking time to be there. even if i let that dumby thought in....that i should stay home andwatch overthe house ...that i neeeeed to be close....while my AH drinks.lol.(haha..  see now the silliness in so many ideas ive allowed myself when it comes to my AH and the effects of this disease?)

Today, i choose to begin my day with reading from my One Day At a Time..and the Courage to Change books. I have the pocket book sized ones also., so they are with me always. i can read them whenever i want. i have a habit now  to just open the book .. whateverpage it is, i read it. (along with todays read, lol.)    getting myself back on schedule and feeling right about how to work my program and what i need to do to take care of me. I choose the Power of Postive thinking., each morning.    
And....    I DID join the bowling league ~ and  ~  I  HAVE and AM still planting in springs flowers and herbs .. along with pulling all those weeds out of my newly spruced garden.lol   The Garden, has spread. It all started by getting out there one morning i had free... and start.  Today, i have to say the garden  looks more like   a garden.   lovely.  all because i needed something  to occupy my time, something, i could "get busy"with,   something.... that also makes me feel good.   with my garden its not only the work... its that i can See a difference. i even took before pictures when i started....  thinkin  i cant save this patch of land. its all rocks and clumps of hard black dirt. ugh.  but as time has passed.. i've done a little at a time...(a place thats alll mine.,) i can look with pride and i can also say   "idid that".. " i do that"  and I feel sooo  good of it.
And i bought that bicycle i wanted~ riding has been , is,   such a wonderful reminder to me, Im taking care of me.  It also brings up memories of the times, when my girlfriends and i would take all day bike trips. I  enjoyed it soo then  and   now-   Hahaaa...   I do now too.
 
I'm staying busy.  And in doing that...stopped alot  of  the negative thinking. 
I've found its easier and easier to  Turn It Over  to HP/God.
sooo glad for the ability,for the knowledge, to know i can do just that....LettingGo and LettingGod.    

From getting up and getting busy...on these few things i mentions... welll....I get heartfelt ((hugs))  at the meetings (along with some wunderful es&h)    I bowl an average 172 ..and    I really enjoy   .. as i feel dirt in my hands...and feel the breeze on my face...while i   really    Listen   to Rachminoff or my other favorites on the radio.
 
And i am tired when it was time to go to bed and i sleep wonderfully.

Thing is,  i started feeling better.  Once I was able to realize I can Let Go and Let HP/God hold onto and take care of those things i can not control.
 
i do feel better.  because when i got busy  i got better.   my health.  my way of seeing life.   to think i could missed out on all the "good stuff."      more and more i prefer to feel better. with a wonderful ability to be here   and to have such a gracious HP to give    and to take from me the things i cant control,   i didnt  cause  ,  and i can not cure.

it gets easier to turn it over to God. To turn it over to HP. i started by just letting HP have "it"  all....  during my morning routines.   you know straightening the room, fixing family breakfast, cleaning    (and)  ok.  i then thought HP  hold on to it   till after lunch.    and i went on to have a beautiful morning .... and a great lunchtime. i love music.   and i love to sing.   but  i mostly  hummm.     so... i love to hum.   haha.   * i felt better about me.  and i felt better that i let go of whatever it was bothering me  to my HP.  Because HP took care of it.   and if it wasnt taken care of by dinner...
well......
 i think,  (NOW i know)  i know HPs   going to   go ahead and hang on to it,  
and
sees.... im doing just fine...now. 
Today.
 This moment. 
Hps Got it.    HPs got IT.
HP/God Always has.   HP/God Always will.

 (i just have to STOP) neg. thoughts.

see if it doesnt steer you into a better dispostion.
a better  place  on the inside.        does it for me.  i find i'm a a better loving caring me   for me    cause i'm worth it.  and its easier to show love to others   when i have myself centered. 
 
i work this program! I Work IT  Because  I AM  Worth IT.

i'm comfortable in and about my own space. in my own skin.this is  MyLife.  this is my time.  i do   feelgood.
 
you can do it!  let it go (even if its just for a bit.., )  it will be there when you  decide to pick it  up   if HP hasnt already worked it out.   keep smiling.    keep the positive thoughts   right there with you.  dont let go of those.    and     go have a wonderful day!!

i do love you all,each and every one.  i want to ThankYou for all your love and support. I am so very grateful.  

Keep Workin IT    Keep Lookin uP   and    Keep Moving Forward