The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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Hello to all and here is my delima. I have posted that my A messed up again and I can't seem to pull myself up. Last week he was cited for drunk and disorderly in a public place. His friend was brought into the situation and my A was embarrased. Anyway,,I know I have to forgive and I have because he has a disease. My A has apolized to his friend but not to me. We haven't talked in over a week and this morning I asked him how long he was going to let this go on. Since the last eposide I have flash backs through the years, its all bad stuff never good. I know I have to pray to my God and I have..I believe I have the first three steps down. I was in the car today just sobbing asking God to forgive me or whatever I haven't forgiven my A or myself for. I just don't get it... I am thinking about not going to my meeting tonight as I am so bummed.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You have every right to feel the way you do. Just remember, if you focus on yourself and not your A's actions, you'll feel less resentment...and that's what eats us up.
Sounds to me like a meeting would be just the thing you need right now.
Sounds to me like a meeting is just what the doctor ordered. I am sure you will feel much better if you go vs. skipping out on it. It is about like going to the gym to work out.....you don't feel like going b/c you are tired. BUT once you get there and get into your workout, you feel so much better.
As far as getting an apology: They sure are nice to receive but what is in the words "I'm sorry" anyway? I find that with my AH, those words are so easily muttered...that they don't count for much any more. I don't want to hear how sorry he is. I want him to show me by working on healing himself and getting better. Prove it.
Work on yourself, your healing, your recovery. Go to your meeting. It may be just what you need to feel better. :)
My very best thinking got me here. Today I can say it's been a gift that some A's got me here but it wasn't too long ago that that statement ticked me off (sigh).
This path of recovery is replete with so much information that it's like peeling back the layers of an onion and discovery more assets and more defects. So please keep coming, keep posting, but more importantly get to meetings, get a sponsor, get Paths to Recovery and begin the process of keeping the focus on you. You are the only one you can change.
yours in recovery, Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
