The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is so easy today for me to look at the dark side of life. Not just look, but stare at it. Started my day by having a civil conversation with my AW whom I have been seperated from for 6 months (for those who I haven't bored with the story yet), and she wants to start divorce proceedings.
Now we have had that conversation before, and although she seems perfectly lucid and clear headed ... the thought of it makes me sad, but could be all bull again.
Then I learned that one of my co-workers who I had a close relationship with for the past 10 years died last night of a massive corronary. The saddest part of that is he was only in his late 30's.
But my HP prepared me for this day, by having my sponsor forward me emails like this one which I read just before my AW called. I wanted to share it with you.
I believe it is a daily meditation sent from Hazeldon. ----------------------------------------------
(((((rtexas))))) The part that says, "Look for the blessing, when faced with the heartache", really spoke to me. I am so sorry for the loss of your co-worker and for the situation with your wife. Take good care of yourself.
My prayers and good thoughts are always with you. I am so so sorry for the loss of your friend.... may you remember the good times you had with him.
I am also sorry about your wife, I know you have been having a rough time of it for a while. It is hard to know exactly what to believe or to do, I find. I know you love her a lot. You are taking care of what you need to, yourself and your son.
I loved the saying. It is true, we never ever know what will happen in this life, do we? We need to just trust in God, that is all. Keep trusting and loving this life we are given, it is so short...
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. I can see it was a a relationship that you valued a great deal. I am also sad to see that your wife would rather continue the cycle of blaming/shaming/manipulating, scapegoating/hating/etcet than actually looking at herself. I can see, here, too, where you are hurting. Thank you for trusting us with your pain to share with us this deeply hurtful transitional period in your life. Even if she does change her mind, that she is playing "jerk the chain" is no small matter; it hurts everyone. I can see your sponsor cares a great deal for you. I'm glad he's in your life. Please keep us posted on the minutae RTX. Even if it's simply a "Hi, my life still sucks, but my prospective doesn't!" You've come quite a ways, and I'd hate to see you quit now. ((RTX))
So sorry for the loss of your friend, so sad to see a young person go so soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers for HP to comfort you and his family. As for your AW, I guess you are right to look past her words and intentions and focus more on the actual actions she takes or does not take. I think the beauty in days like these when their is loss is the beauty of friendship and love and the ability to feel for others and know that you shared a good time with your friend and your AW. HP will take care of the details that we cannot yet see. Keep the faith. Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Somehow believe it or not you can come through a divorce and find a way to be happier, healthier and yes better than you ever were before. I am so sorry for your loss. I think about you often and hope that you are doing well.
((rtexas))) Sorry for the loss of your friend..I too could tell this was someone who's friendship was important to you. You are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing with us the email from your sponsor. Keep taking care of you...you are worth it... your friend in recovery, rosie
So very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. I do so wish that your wife was not affected by this disease and she was able to give you comfort in your time of loss.
As you often tell us, Please, Please take good care of YOU - Give yourself special care during this time of sadness.
Prayers for rtexas & rtexas's friend's family,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Thanks, rtexas, for your post. I am sorry to hear of the untimely loss of your friend. May his loved ones find peace.
Each day when I awaken, I can think straight, all my limbs work, and I am breathing, I am thankful, and call that a beautiful day. So far, so good. In all my life I have not lived a single day that has not included beauty...even in the worst of a few dark days. Having a sense of humor helps too. If we can laugh at ourselves, we'll make it.
Best of good wishes,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata