The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my ex's roommate just stopped by my house looking for him. He just assumed that he was here with me and the girls. He was very suprised when I said I hadn't seen him for about 3 weeks. I told him to call my ex's cell and his new number is on the voicemail. The roommate said it's too bad that we are no longer speaking. I just said "well, it is what it is" and left it at that. This is new for me. In the past I would have either tried to enlist this man's help in finding my ex or told him all the sick and insane things my ex has done and is probably doing. I knew he was using. I knew something was really wrong when I told him that he couldn't see the kids anymore and if he wanted to he should get a lawyer. I knew. But I doubted myself, my feelings, my insticts and the reality. So this whole 3 weeks he has been out there. Thank God I am in a place where I immediatly acted to take my kids out of a harmful situation and got him out of my house. God knows what would have disappeared this time or who would have shown up at my door at what hour of the night. It sucks to be right but it feels good to know I am not crazy or overreacting. This is reality, This is what he has been doing for the past 4 years wether I loved him or not. Despite the kids loving him. I grew up in an alcoholic home where reality was denied. My uncle was falling down stairs, reaking of alcohol, throwing up, sticking his feet in the fireplace, saying he was so drunk and my mother and grandmother would tell me he wasn't drunk, just being silly, he didn't feel well. He would tell us he was drunk "three sheets to the wind" and they would tell him he was fine, just overexaggerating. So living in the"land of goofey" I came to never believe reality. If my ex had 3 empty bottles of vodka in front of him and looked me in the eye and said he found them in the woods, empty, I figured I had to believe him and there was something wrong with me thinking that he, the self professed alcoholic, drank them. Afterall, he SAID he didn't! Still, I wish like hell I was wrong. I wish so bad that a lawyer would call me tomarrow with a visitation proposal. Maybe he has just moved in with his new girlfriend.....ug, maybe that is worse?
Stay focused, make your plan and stay on track. I always wondered why there would be a woman out there who would take men like ours. What in the hell are wrong with those woman? Do they have that low of self esteem that they would take a husk of a man? It's pretty sad. I told mine to go out and find someone...........PLEASE...........go find someone else to put up with you and to smell you and to feed you and to listen to the blabbering that slurs out of your mouth. PLEASE DO ME THE FAVOR.He had my blessings........he never took it. I was looking for any out. lol
