The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a book mark about "live and let live." I recall also a memory about "live and let live." An old timer pointed out that for a long time he had to work "let live" because his "live/life" depended on it. He had to mind his own business--his kids resented him, for not getting sober, and then getting sober, and then doing what it took to get sober; his spouse was angry, for being a drunk, for not being her prince charming, for letting her down, for spoiling their fairytale marriage, for embarrasing her (the list goes on); he hated himself, for all of the above; and he had to let live because, he said, otherwise he would've never gotten sober and stayed that way. Eventually, he said, he found himself living, participating in recovery, participating in life. He said he knew he was allowed to fully live again when his buddies from work asked him to a work function and his daughter broke in and said "Nope. He can't do that. He has an AA meeting at that time." He knew his family fully wanted him in their life, he said when his daughter, getting ready to deliver (he was sitting in the family room, as per her request, she only wanted her husband there), was going to code. "Dad," she said panicked, "They're gonna put Nikki in the ICU, and they're gonna put me in the CCU, and Daddy, they're not gonna let me see him, can you help me?!" He sat with his new grandson in the ICU all night as his daughter was being operated on, just in case something happened. His daughetr, according to him, has always been greatful.