The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Teresa and I'm fairly certain the answer is yes, but in reading a few of the posts here, I'm wondering if this is the place I need to come or not. It seems that many people here are family and friends of people who are not trying to work on their disease, and they are trying to deal with that. That's not exactly my story--I guess I should go ahead and tell my story, or at least part of it...
I am in a weekly prayer group with four other women, and we are quite close. One of the members has been an alcoholic for years. It has caused a multitude of problems in her life and the life of her family. She went through a thirty day treatment program at the end of the summer, and stayed sober for about 100 days. (Our group formed shortly after her rehab) She has relapsed and is quickly spiraling out of control. She is drinking "secretly," thinking she's fooling everyone, but in reality everyone is aware of the situation. She has been shutting us out little by little, and we've been becoming increasingly worried about her. She left her husband and daughter the other night and went to a friend's house to spend the night and drank a bottle of her kaluah and some cooking sherry while she was asleep. She's also been stealing beer out of friends' homes during the day. Enough of that, though...
Yesterday, I called a mutual friend of ours, who is a recovering alcoholic and asked her advice. She immediately got in her car and drove 90 miles to come and talk--we ended up finding our friend and they went to a park and talked for about three hours. The original plan was to get her into a detox program last night---but she (the a) doesn't think she needs it--that she can do this through working the program.
So my question is this--is there anyone here that can relate to my story or offer any words of support or advice?
Thanks in advance... Teresa
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"Then their eyes were opened and they recognized Him and He disappeared from their sight." -Luke 24:11
First I want to tell you, it is totally up to the A=addict and or alcoholic, if they choose to go to detox or rehab. They know what is available. They don't need to be told.
It was very kind of you to call the other A. However unless the A goes looking for help, it is usually moot. Only they know when or if they are ready.
A's know detoxing alone is very dangerous. My fil died doing it.
It is a disease, we have no control any of it. All we can do is take care of us. You can make boundaries, if she is not acting appropriately at your prayer group then you may have to tell her all members are welcome, but must be sober.
As you know the Bible is very clear about drunkards.Keep her in your prayers for sure.
She has a disease, but sounds like she is searching for truth being with a prayer group. Hopefully she will get what she needs to get help through AA.
Everyone can only gain from Alanon and AA. They are based on so much of the Bible.
These wonderful rooms are a great place to find Experience, Strength and Hope (ESH), when dealing with the affects of alcoholism or any addiction. The 3rd tradition of Al-Anon reads,
"The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend."
When I first found this wonderful place, I was given a great piece of information:
I didn't cause it I can't cure it I can't control it
It is wonderful that you are a caring and loving person, and this program will give you understanding that you can keep being a caring and loving person, even though your friend has a destructive relationship with booze. Through face to face meetings, literature, and this wonderful website, I've personally overcame a plethora of horrible circumstances, feelings, and ignorence on the subject.
Keep coming back and asking questions, reading others posts, and even posting your own feelings. You'll find that this society can bring to light many different facets: you are not alone, and there is a great chance that someone here has dealt with things you are experiencing right now.
keep coming back with love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
