The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my first Al-anon meeting, and it felt really good, but also very frightening. My father was an alcoholic for the thirteen years I lived with him, and I'm sure he still is till this day, but I wouldn't know because I haven't talked to him in so long. I was nervous about attending Al-Anon because I am not currently surrounded by an alcoholic, but I am having a lot of issues with my inner self. Because of this I fear that maybe there is something wrong with me, and it has nothing to do with the alcoholic I haven't seen in years. I worry that I don't belong at Alanon, and I would hate to abuse the program. I am just very confused and don't know where I belong.
You can't abuse the program, don't worry about that. If your issues really have nothing to do with the A in your life, eventually that will become clear, and you will get some ideas about where better to focus your energies.
I would suggest being open in meeting about your doubts. Talk your thoughts and feelings out - it is surprising how often clarity comes when you hear your thoughts out loud. One alanon book that you might find especially helpful is From Survival to Recovery - it is mostly the stories of adult children of alcoholics.
Many of the people in my f2f meeting no longer have an A in their lives, it is perfectly OK and normal.
shannon wrote: Welcome Shannon. Well something is making you want to look into alanon. I bet if you read thru the posts and vent here some things may come up.
Also can tell you, the skills in this program changed my life for the better in a million ways.
For instance I know I cannot change anyone else, just myself. I take one day at a time.
If you want to learn about you, this is a great place.
I sure have found serenity here.
keep coming back. tell us more about you. love,debilyn
You Wrote: I was nervous about attending Al-Anon because I am not currently surrounded by an alcoholic, but I am having a lot of issues with my inner self. Because of this I fear that maybe there is something wrong with me, and it has nothing to do with the alcoholic I haven't seen in years. I worry that I don't belong at Alanon, and I would hate to abuse the program. I am just very confused and don't know where I belong.
My Response: Shannon, I had to smile when I read the above part of your post. I also am ACOA, I also lived with my A father for 12 years, and I also came into Alanon because, as you said so well, "I had issues with my inner self."
For me, I have found that growing up with an active A (as well as having MANY A family members) has very much affected me. It's affected me in ways that I would say are mostly not visible to others--I am educated, successful, etc. However, what I noticed for me is that especially when I am in a romantic relationship, all of these inner-self issues emerge with a vengenance.
As a result of my inner-self issues, I got involved with Al-Anon, got a sponsor, started reading like mad, and have begun to work the steps. I have found it A RELIEF to be in a program where the mantra is--you can not change anyone else, especially the A, focus on and take care of your self! After a life time of feeling responsible for my A home life, this message is music to my ears!
My three favorite books from Al-Anon are Courage to Change (a daily reader), Paths to Recovery (a guide to working the steps), and I especially love from Survival to Recovery because it focuses on ACOAs like me and really spoke to my condition.
Feel free to Private Message me if you would like to talk further or have questions (if you put the cursor over my name at the side of the message it will allow you to send me an e-mail message). WELCOME TO THE PROGRAM!
Welcome to MIP Shannon. No, you have come to the right place. I think that going to your first Alanon meeting is a little scarey. Afterall, there are strangers and we are revealing ourselves. Keep coming back because there is alot of experience, strength and hope.\
I think you've made an excellent decision! You recognized that you didn't feel "right" inside, and you are doing something about it!!!
Al-Anon has helped me immensely with my feelings and attitudes. The program is spiritual and powerful when you do the work. And the bonus is this wonderful family you get to be a part of!!!!
keep coming back!
with love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
shannon wrote:Hello Shannon, u belong and I agree u cannot abuse the program You are the child of an alcoholic and u too need to recover from this disease , at your next meeting try to focus on the similarities the feelings not your differences. we have all felt powerless , abandoned by the love one who drinks ,doubt our thoughts. question decissions we have made . your not alone , and your not crazy and you are going to be ok. AL-Anon has a new book written by adult children you will find yourself in that book it is called HOPE FOR TODAY .if your group does not have one ask if there is a l iterature depot in your area . good luck keep commin back . Louise
I went to my first Al-anon meeting, and it felt really good, but also very frightening. My father was an alcoholic for the thirteen years I lived with him, and I'm sure he still is till this day, but I wouldn't know because I haven't talked to him in so long. I was nervous about attending Al-Anon because I am not currently surrounded by an alcoholic, but I am having a lot of issues with my inner self. Because of this I fear that maybe there is something wrong with me, and it has nothing to do with the alcoholic I haven't seen in years. I worry that I don't belong at Alanon, and I would hate to abuse the program. I am just very confused and don't know where I belong.
