The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Once I have learned to set my boundaries, others may try to ignore them or accuse me of being selfish.
I know my boundaries have been crossed when I begin to feel uncomfortable inside, and I need to pay attention to this feeling. If others are used to relating to me in a certain way, and I'm changing, it usually means they have to change too.
They may resist this change, but I'm not here to make other people happy; I'm here to make myself happy. If I don't want to change my mind about a boundary I've set, I don't have to. Other people will have to learn to live with the "new me."
I recognize this new attitude as a sign that I'm getting stronger every day.
Often times I recall hearing how difficult it is the concept of boundries is or how to put them into practice. I hope this gives people some ideas.
Aloha Tiger and thanks for the ESH. You are of course correct this is a "selfish" program and not in a bad way considering the consequences we are hoping for. Another take on boundaries are the ones I set for myself so that I don't just put myself out there in danger. It was me who put myself in the insanity. I made boundaries and then moved them outward over and over again until I thought I could never get back into the sunlight and sanity. Today I have boundaries and I don't cross them. I don't do the "maybes" with them the "just onces" with them or the "no one will ever knows with them." I keep them. Before program I set boundaries and broke them and then set and broke them again. In order to save my own butt and soul I must be realistic with myself. No more doing for others what others can do for themselves. No more yeses when I ought to use no.
