The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to apologize to the group for starting the "teenager" thread. It's really off topic and violates Alanon guidelines by getting into outside philosophy, and I didn't intend to create controversy with it. Yesterday I was going to delete all of my posts to the thread, but apparently I can't. If there is a way to delete my own posts, I haven't found it. Or maybe because there were replies, it would not let me-? Anyway, I regret having caused any problems.
I didn't see anything at all wrong with that post.... the subject of teenagers was broached, in and around the world of addictions and alcoholism. I thought it generated lots of good responses...
Just my two cents Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I extend an apology to you also. I assume you are referring to me since i did debate the teen topic. I am sorry my words contradicted yours. I didnt mean to, teens are my passion and i didnt have a right to debate your post as you were just posting your thoughts. Sometimes i react without thinking about what it will do to others. I am learning however a little to slow sometimes.
Your post was a great one. I didnt have any right to tear it down or debate it. Please dont let one person(me) keep you from posting whats in your heart and your thoughts, that is how we recover we let it out. It didnt create any problems bar and if i didnt post it wouldnt of caused a thing for you. I truly hope that you didnt doubt yourself from my words. If you did i am truly sorry wasnt my intention. Is a deep topic for me and i went into teen mode. Teen post wasnt against alanon guidelines as our teens are a part of alanon just in a younger group.
I do hope you continue to post what is in your heart and mind. No apologies neccesary from you. Mine came a little late. I hope you can forgive me to the responses to your post. It really was a good one and i did read it out of text. So im the crazy one not you lol That post was far from invalid and i had no right to say what i did. Please remember that
Take good care
kerry
-- Edited by kerry5 at 16:04, 2007-02-28
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
I probably should have explained better my use of the word survival. It is something I am very passionate about, and it maybe has broader meaning to me because of that. I tend to overlook the fact that to many, it means "barely getting by". The survival I am thinking of is life itself, before we can be happy, we must take care of the most basic needs of life. In the program, the first three steps are often called the "emergency room" steps. The do-or-die part; from there we build a life... serenity, happiness. But without that survival part, the other parts will never happen.
Having a teenage daughter who attempted suicide at least once, and frequently declared she didn't want to live to be 30, whose heroes were angst-filled musicians and poets who died young, survival was indeed a big deal. And often in doubt.
You better believe, her 30th birthday was a pretty big deal for both of us. Because she remembered so well what she used to say. In spite of her drinking and drugging, her will to live is ultimately what triumphed. When I look at her recovery, I am reminded of the story of "AA Number Three" in the Big Book. At his worst, having failed again and again, believing he was hopeless, he was visited by Bill W. and Dr. Bob; stood up and walked out of the hospital a free man.
I have had the priviledge of witnessing this girl... a shy, fearful, pained, perpetual victim... watching her dragged through the mud of life, just waiting for the end to come, only to have her one day stand up, dust herself off, and come to life. I still find it miraculous, and add to that all of the lives she has touched, and made a difference in since. Mine especially.
Wow, i do feel bad for my post, i am so glad your daughter chose life. And survived when its all she could do. Sometimes i guess our worst time later shows us our strongest times also. Doing what is needed to survive in a world that is caving in around us.
I am glad your daughter made it to 30, sounds like you both been through alot. Glad you can share positively about it now. I was defensive because surviving all my childhood became difficult as i got older. Surviving the day dreading the next one. Wondering if i will survive this time and what things i will do just to make it. Never thought much about living i always thought life was to survive it. Your post still was a good one and i truly do wish i didnt reply to it in the way that i did. All the best to you
Again i am sorry.
((((hugs)))))
kerry
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Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
All is forgiven Like I say, I sometimes talk about too many things at once and forget that we are all looking at these things from different perspectives.
The three generations - me, my daughter, and my granddaughter - all are hugely different people, whose childhood and teen years are taking place in a different place, different time, different circumstances. I tried to understand my daughter back then based only on my own experience; and when I try to understand my granddaughter now, all I have to go on is my own experience, and her mother's. But she is a different person. Probably will surprise us all.
