Yes, I have reached bottom and am hoping to get to a face to face meeting this week. Yes the ex-A has reached havoc in my life yet again. On saturday last while in charge of our thirteen year old son, he threw him out of his jeep in the middle of a 6500 acre estate, with woods, lakes etc and Patrick was missing for two hours. I still feel very sick, Patrick turned up safe and sound and ex-A blamed himself a great deal, no I did not enter into the blame game, yet he still managed to have a go at me last night over something completely irrelevant, he suggested that he go home, he has been staying with me for the last two months and I said I thought this was a good idea, I have made progress but not enough and I know I need the support of face to face meetings, I think I was unable to face up to this prospect before now. My stomach is still churning as I really thought my son had gone off and drowned himself, he was extremely upset when we found him. I have been honest with some friends and this has helped a lot, they were extremely supportive but cannot get rid of tension headaches and feel that I need the support of people who also go through this crazy crap all the time, know my post is rambling but its great to be able to.