The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Do not choose bad friends. Do not choose persons of low habits. Select good friends. Be discriminating. Choose the best.
-Dhammapada 78
I hadn't any clue about friendships when I came here. But automatically, I realized y'all were friends. You cared. And I hadn't any idea why. If you knew, and I mean KNEW, what kind of human I was, you'd be running the opposite direction, a cloud of smoke as the only reminder you were once there. If you knew, and I mean KNEW, what kind of life I'd lived, you'd be GONE, G O N E. If you knew, and I mean KNEW, what kind of psycho nuts things I'd done to try and control the drinking, you'd be like "Uh, it was kinda nice knowing you. Kinda. I'm gonna go...now...bye." And then you opened your moulths. You said you had felt the same way. You had done these same things. Hid the car keys? Of course! then you can't worry about drunk driving, getting "the call", or, if nothing else, the car insurance and car accidents. Stole the money from the wallet? Duh! How else are you gonna get groceries? Pay bills? Gotta get SOMETHING done before all the money goes to the bars! Screamed at the drunk until you were horse? Are you kidding?! I found out that I wasn't the first person who qualified (with avengence!) for the local drama guilds--in fact, some of you shared that if you weren't yelling at your respective alcholics, you didn't think they were listening! Tried to get rid of the drugs and alchol? And how! You shared that YOU forgot where you hid all those things! (How relieved I was to find THIS out! I thought I was crazy enough--and then when I forgot where I hid the liquor....) And still, STILL!, they managed to get drunk, find the stuff! HOW?! I realized, as I began to share, however much I could muster through my sobbing, that true friends are people that know you're crazy (I prefer the term eccentric--it's based in the reality that you're absolutely brilliant and have yet to be appreciated for it!) and think you're beautiful anyway. I encouarge those of you who are new in this program to open your moulth--you're not as off the beam as you're convincing yourself you are. I promise. Thank you all so much for loving me these past few weeks. My birthday was wonderful--and the opening night of THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES was a blast. (I also slept clear through to noon, but, detals!!!)
What a wonderful post. Still being new to the site, I worry about revealing myself to the point that others will think, "oh, how pitiful". I haven't been good at chosing friends, love interests and of course you can't do anything about family:), but I am glad to know that I have everyone here. The care and support here is truly miraculous and has touched me in a way I hadn't experienced before. It feels good.
I am glad you had a happy birthday, tiger. Hugs to you! Leetle
Beautiful post. I think off the beam is a wonderful description. Never did like the beam, balancing precariously trying to keep it all together. Am doing much better with my feet planted firmly on the ground.
I love to read you, always provoke lots of thought.
Thanks lilms
__________________
Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
And, of course the A's would have us believe we are irrational, that we are over-reacting, or a bit nuts. Oh yes, poor them, they have to put up with so much.. Still, being 'right' or sticking to what you believe can get very lonely. I'm glad I'm not alone here. Thanks for the post.
Dear Tiger 2006, OH yes ,your post was so well put,yes this gal has been there and wore the t shirt,that is till i came here ,now my life is so dirrerent, Thanks so much to all my new friends,who understand tottally. Love ollie xxx
It's very comforting to know that you have a place to come and share all of your "dirty little secrets" without fear of being judged because you are among friends who have also had their own "dirty little secrets".
Through Alanon we learn that even though we may have done things in the past that may be viewed as less than desirable by those that have not lived with the disease of alcoholism, we were only doing what we thought was best. We didn't know that we had choices. We begin to see that what we have done in the past has not worked and that we can't control another person's drinking.
We learn that we have to forgive ourselves first for things we have done in the past before we can forgive others.
We learn to have more compassion toward others and be less judgmental.
For all you newcomers, don't be afraid to share your "dirty little secrets". Instead know that you are among friends and that by sharing your "dirty little secrets" is just the begining of your recovery.
