The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Alcohol can cause those under the influence to do things that they would not normally do when not under the influence. From my 28 years of experience in recovery I have met few pedafiles while saying that a person keeping their own anonymity reduces the population.
I take pedafile and alcoholic as separate problems that could be both present in a person at the same time. It has happened in my family. The pedafile was an alcoholic and addict and pedafile. There are more alcoholics and addicts in my family than pedafile.
Pedafile carries more of a moral cloud upon it than alcoholism.
In alcoholism you have a lot of sexual misconduct that is usual; adult to adult and that should have the same degree of being unacceptable as sex with a child. What makes it worse is that the victim is most innocent and unable to protect itself.
There is an Abused portion as well which covers physical, as well as sexual.
Try to get as much information as you can regarding this -- online, at the library, wherever you can. Pedophiles are very very sick people, but they are also very very dangerous people to society. At the very least, I hope we all protect our children from pedophiles.
yours in recovery, Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
One time when my children were very young, a miserable drunk began behaving innappropriatly (at a city bus stop). He smiled and leered at my then 4 year old and told her he loved her. There was nothing OK about this. We went away. Later we ran into the same man at the same bus stop, this time he was sober (or not nearly as smashed). He did not look at us or talk to us. I feel he was a pedophile, and that alcohol lowered his inhibitions. I do not believe that alcohol leads to sexual deviancy. I do believe sexual deviancy can lead to alcoholism. I am sorry for what you are going through. Please help your son any way you can. Sincerely Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I do not see any connection between an alcoholic and a pedophile. One either is a pedophile or is not a pedophile. A person drunk may do some things he/she might not otherwise do, but become a complete abhorrent misfit? I believe that tendency would have to be buried somewhere in the recesses of the mind to begin with. I agree that alcohol may lower one's inhibitions if the sickness lies latently waiting to begin with.
I am a classical musician. I am not a studied human behaviorist, psychoanalyst, psychiatrist or therapist.
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I don't feel guilty now for feeling so bitter towards the alcoholic, my exhusband, who sexually abused his stepson, who is my son.
My son still hasn't recovered from this, hopefully one day he will.
As for me I will work on myself to get rid of the bitterness, everything my exhusband threw at me I handled it eventually. This one is just going to take a bit longer.
One day I'll be able to bury it for good beside my exhusband who died last year.
(((((((((hugs)))))))) to you and especially your son. In my opinion only, this is far beyond the disease of alcoholism. I hope you have taken steps to take your son to people who can help him deal with issues of this nature, so he can begin to heal and live a healthy normal life.
Speaking strictly for myself, as a survivor, my father's peodphila would have happened without the drinking. Did it help the situation? Of course not. Did it worsen the situation? Absoulutely. I find a lot of hope here in al anon. I find also alot of people exactly like me here. Did A lead to B? I have no idea. I feel that's a chicken/egg fiasco. I'm here to recover from the whole dynamics of the disease.
