The a's new antics are to find a way to get money out of me at anytime.  He has many excuses.  He says someone stole his drill and he can't work. That was the way he got the truck out of me.  I say nothing just well go look for the drill it must be somewhere.  Then its he needs money to go get a new mouse for the computer.  He gives nothing but screams at the top of his lungs all the time.

I am out interviewing all the time.  Of course he has always hated me being on the computer it might mean that I had support.  He is also furious that I took the cell phone back.

I am sick to the back teeth of his selfishness. I am also aware that his antics, his screaming, his chaos always drew me down to depression before.  I couldn't work. I didn't interview. These days I interview regardless.  No matter what kind of shit he throws at me I walk out the door to the interview.  I keep looking for support. I have some.

I will not let him drag me down and I will not be giving him any more money.  If he can't buy the mouse without me forking over money for a fictional tank of gas then I won't. I never see him walk anywhere. He works one minute from the house.  He never walks but oh I do. I have to take the bus.  He eats every scrap of food in the house all the time.  He never buys any.

He is full of his pains and his aches and problems but if I have one oh he is so burdened by hearing about it.  How dare I have a need?   He has always managed to goad me into arguing with him before. Now I don't. I just go.  I will have to go to the library now to use the computer. The pain is that he has two computers. I asked him to use one today to get an email for directions to the interview.  He wouldn't do that. This is not the first time he's sabataged me but it is the first time I've acnkowledged it.

I am not even going to waste the energy on hating him.

Maresie.