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I had a brilliant idea this morning. I have been frustrated with the whole NC divorce process for six months!!! Anyway my MIL called last night to ask if I would have the restraining order lifted before my husband goes to court because "it doesn't look good". Of course I just blew this idea off but then this morning I had an idea. I have been wanting him to sign a separation agreement for MONTHS! And I thought this might be an opportune moment. If I could get him to sign something stating we have been separated for a year and that gives me custody of our son (which was the primary reason for serving the order to make sure I had temp. custody) then I would HAPPILY lift the order! Perhaps this would benefit him in court or maybe not but I just wish I would have thought of this sooner! So I emailed her and said if he would sign a separation agreement giving me custody and stating we have been sep since 2/06 I will cancel the restraining order. I could then file for divorce immediately rather than waiting another six months. It seemed like a brilliant revelation this morning when the idea just popped into my head but his court date is next friday and I'd have to work fast! I'm pretty excited about the potential here...
As long as he obeys the restraining order and you feel safe. The other thing you might want to think about, is that a week flies by before we know it. Hope it works out for you.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Good idea! The only caution I would suggest, is not using e-mail to correspond in the event it is used against you, but I am all for you moving on faster with his help. I agree that if you feel safe, lifting the restraining order to get the signed separation papers is worth it, since in all reality it does not wipe away the fact that their was a restraining order. Good luck to you. I will be sending my good wishes your way!
You go girl!!! I had similar thoughts AFTER I had my separation papers drawn up w/lawyers a couple of weeks ago. Also, here in VA you have to be separated for one year before you can file for divorce.....but at the same time VA doesn't recognize separation. So I have the papers but nothing is filed with the courts until we have lived apart for 365 days. BLAH. I was thinking after the fact, wow, if I had realized that earlier, I would have just said the separation began a year ago and be ahead of the game. But oh well.
It sounds like a great game plan for you and I think you ought to work hard towards that goal. We are here for you. Good Luck. Sincerely, QOD
I strongly urge you to talk to your legal councel about this first. Given his recent behavior and the fact that he willingly broke into your house, I'm leery about how this person would behave, if he realized that all it took to get you back--or simply to gain access to you--would be to sign some paperwork. The reality is that this restraining order may be the only thing protecting him from you. And I'm a little concerned about changing the circumstances.
Again, I don't have a lawyer!!! I can't afford it. The restraining order was mainly to get temporary custody so he didn't run off with our son. The separation agreement will be impossible to get signed under any other circumstances. He will refuse and if he really wanted to hurt us a restraining order is just a piece of paper! Sooo I am going ahead with this still not sure if he will agree or not.
What about legal aid? Or some other subsidised legal service? Divorce and things like this are very complicated and I'm sure these folks could help you.
