Where do I start??? - Al-Anon Family Group

Dorothy · Member

Where do I start???

RainyJamie · Senior Member

Hi, Dorothy, welcome to MIP. I found this message board about 6 weeks ago but went to my first real meeting last week. I live with an active alcoholic but things are a little better now, at least for me. Hope to hear from you!
Jamie

lin0606 · ~*Service Worker*~

Time to get growing, then - it's not too late. Emotionally dead is how many of us feel - we just go through so much, and then the A sobers up and says "So what's the problem?" He's got his support system, and a program to look to, you can have the same.

Get to face to face meetings if at all possible, and the odd open AA meeting can be good too. Get some of our leterature - you can buy it from links at the top of this page, or from amazon or ebay or whatever, or borrow it from the library, or best of all , buy or borrow from your f2f meeting. This board is helpful - if you read old posts, you will be sure to see yourself in some of them. Not everything will apply to you, but some will. We also have a chat room, someone is usually there, and online meetings.
My husband has been sober nearly four years now, after almost 20 years together - I have found this program a lifesaver. I needed a way to deal with all of the baggage from all those years.

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

((Dorothy))

Welcome to our MIP family - glad that you are here with us. Hope that you will continue the journey of learning to take good care of yourself. You deserve it.

Don't give up before the miracles happen in you - You are worth it.

Wishing you peace,
Rita

Lunamoth · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Dorothy))))

Where do you start?? you already have -- the hardest thing is coming in these doors. Who wants to say there is something not quite right and I just can't seem to fix it? I know I didn't, I had to get to that place where anything was better than what I was living. I was tired.

This is a great place/program. You aren't alone. There is relief here. The book How Alanon Works for Famlies and Friends of Alcoholics is a good place to start if you want more info before attending a face to face meeting. There are online meetings here also, the link to the chat room is at the top of this page in yellow.

Please keep coming back. I'm so glad you are here

QOD · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Dorothy-
I stumbled across this website in Nov '05 after my husband told me he was a crack addict. I had no clue. And I felt lost. The wonderful folks here helped me in more ways than I think they know. Just having a place to go to let my thoughts and feelings flow was great. I have gotten wonderful feedback and support. I am a better stronger person thanks to MIP. I think I was always strong.....just needed to hear that it was ok to be strong, to work on me, to feel all of those mixed up feelings I was feeling all of the time and to know that I was not alone.

Keep coming back. We are always here for you.

Sincerely,

QOD

Barbs45 · Senior Member

Hi Dorothy,

I only came into MIP 4 days ago for the the first time, and I'm so glad I did. I'm sure you'll get lots of love and support here.

Barbs.

ZiggyDoodles · Senior Member

hmmm....I asked the same question. Where do I start. I was clearly told to go to meeting face to face, take the cotton out of my ears and into my mouth, not to judge it until I have been to several, read the literature, talk to people on the phone and before and after the meeting, and most importantly find a sponsor. In my case....I had to find a sponsor that would call me on my own bull. I like you thought this was his problem and I had been holding it together all this time for my family. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I wasn't happy, I was in knots inside, and there was this CONSTANT war going on inside my head. Normal people...really are not this way, I very sadly found out.
That is wonderful that he got sober and has been making meetings. I am sure you see many changes in him. Some you like and some you may be wondering what planet he is from. Normal. The biggest thing for me about being in a relationship with a recovering A is I stay out of his program and he stays out of mine. The two are to never intertwine. My stuff is my stuff and his stuff is his stuff.
Once I learned how to focus completely on me and less on him....things started to change. My relationships with others began to change. Little by little things became easier and easier to handle. That skid row wasn't in my head anymore, my stomach didn't have knots unless I drove to fast down a hill, and there was a sense of peace I had never in my life had before.
Today, I would never change what I have been through, where it has got me, and for what lies ahead in what I haven't learned. I don't want that old Ziggy back. Learning that it wasn't just there problem was small piece of pride that I had to let go completely. In time, I became a person I could live with.
I hope that you will stick around and make some f2f meetings. Alcoholics go to any length to get there alcohol, and they have to go to any lengths to stay sober.....just as I do as an Alanon.
Ziggy

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well, realizing you need help is a great first step. Going to al anon meetings in your city locally would be an even better step. www.al-anonalateen.org will have a directory of meetiings in your area.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Dorothy u already did *start that is * by comming here . hopefully u will find f2f meetings in your area and start right away working on you , at least u now know that sobriety is not the answer to all of your problems . here is toll free international number for info in your area 1-888-4alanon . they will give u contact numbers and meeting places . Good luck

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well we all make mistakes. Why beat yourself up. You are here now. Some people fly into this program and grasp it very quickly. Others take their time.

I am glad you are here. Welcome.

Maresie.

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Dorothy and welcome to MIP! Where to start? You've made a start by checking in with us! AlAnon meetings in your area, if you can make them, will be of enormous help too.

Like you, I thought the alcoholism was HIS problem, not mine. One day I awoke and realized, "Hey! This is adversely affecting me too." I am a little slow in working the program, but I have come to know that we all take it at our own pace. Please come back often. This great "family" is waiting and willing to help.

Best wishes, Diva

irish54 · Senior Member

((((Dorothy))))) <- hugs

Welcome to the family!! So glad you have found us and look forward to hearing from you often.

Please keep coming back!!

Love and Hugs,
Irish

carosie · Senior Member

Hi Dorothy and welcome to the family...Glad you found us. Don't beat yourself up you came when you were ready. Like the others have said...you already started. Alanon is a great program that offers us experience, strength and hope. I agree with those that suggested a face to face meeting in your area. I know when I attend meetings I feel so much better. In Alanon you learn you are not alone, and you are loved for who you are.
So glad you found us. I too look forward to seeing you post again.

your friend in recovery,
rosie

Dorothy · Member

Thank you everyone who posted, for the support and good advise!

I really appreciate it!

AndiLynn · Senior Member

((((Dorothy)))) Welcome to the MIP family.

As everyone said...you have already taken your first step on your journey! It's time to put yourself first. For so long, many of us put all of our energy and focus into our A's that we forgot all about us......our feelings, our likes and dislikes.....we totally lost ourselves. Alanon helps us to find ourselves again and to live our lives making more healthy choices.

I hope you find what many of us have found in this program.....peace and serenity.

Andi

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.