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I didn't know if I had posted that my AH came home last week. He came home Wednesday night. And he has been there ever since. He of course slept for days to recover from this last binge. He said he almost died 2 separate times during those 13 days he was gone. One time he said that his blood got so boiling hot that it singed the hair right off of his arms & legs & back. His skin is actually scarred from it. He said he watched the blood leave his hands, arms, legs & got towards his head, where the pressure was so bad and his blood was so hot that it bruised his head & face, he said he was actually purple. Has anyone heard of that kind of thing happening? It sounds so bizarre. But hey, I don't have any experience with crack. He said the only reason he lived was b/c they packed his head down w/frozen chicken to cool his blood down before it reached his brain. He said they didn't have any ice, only frozen chicken and his body was so hot it thawed this chicken out in a snap. CRAZY STUFF. He won't even tell me of the other incident so who knows what that one conisted of.
He knows I am calling it quits w/our marriage although I haven't come right out and said I had the separation papers. Yesterday he got bold enough to start up the "lovey dovey" crap with me. And as I have a lot going on in my life, I so wanted a hug but had to stand firm. Last night he tried even harder and I told him he was going in the wrong direction. I told him that I was done and couldn't live this way any more. And that he needed to go & find himself & work on his recovery. I told him that the cycle needs to end, a change needs to be made. He didn't take all of this very well...but by this morning he was back to his normal, wanting hugs & kisses, lets make things all better self. It is like talking to a brick wall.
So we'll see what goes on this afternoon. Thanks for listening.
I know it's really hard when this happens, and the A just wants to kiss and make up. You try and be strong if you can, and let him feel his own pain, just like you are feeling yours.
Well he may have had a psychotic break while he was on crack. Apparently that happens. People do hallucinate. I know for some of them their war stories are quite legendary.
The A I live with broke off a friendship he has with another A who is crashing at his bottom. He has all kinds of war stories about him. He's crashing in an abandoned building (one he used to live in). He spends all his money on alcohol. He can't work. The A can see no parallel with himself. He also doesn't believe his friend is an alcoholic go figure.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It must be absolutely terrifying on some level.
Sounds like you are setting healthy boundaries with him - Hope that your afternoon is peaceful - filled with a calmness that can comes from the inner relationship with your HP.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Wow. I hope he's thanking his lucky stars he's alive. Those are symptoms of more than crack. And, if I may go out on a limb, he's "Never gonna do that again," right? He's "gonna go back to AA and stay there," right? *rolls eyes* He may not catch it, but when he gets a moment, he coulda gone and died. He musta had some pretty medically inclined buddies who were willing to cool off his body for him when he couldn't for himself. Honey, I hope you're taking care of you. You've sure got your work cut out for you. I'm thinking of you.
I hope you follow through with what you started. It's hard to stay strong thru the kissy kissy lovey dovey crap, for me it helps to remember that it's just crap, a means to an end and that end is to continue doing the dope/drinking and have someone take care of it all for them.
Hi QOD, My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time...Keep taking care of yourself and setting them boundaries. Take care and hugs to you!! Have a good afternoon. Diane
