The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi David, welcome to MIP! I never really loved anything/ anybody untill I had my own children. Love never seemed to make much sense, and would always guide people into sloppy decision making. You will find freinds here. Look forward to hearing from you! Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Love might be an emotion you don't let yourself feel - necessary protection, when growing up with insanity. This program, along with your therapy, can help you find your whole self, not just the part that is safe to feel, if you work it.
Here, and at ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) you will find others who share parts of your story, and who understand. One alanon book that you might find particularily helpful is "From Survival to Recovery"
Hi David, You are not alone with those feelings, you'll find that most people here have felt like that, or still do. You will receive a lot of support and love here.
Keep coming back, I just did a few days ago, after first finding Al-Anon 17yrs ago.
david I can relate, only becuz i have been thru so much trauma the last seven years.
sounds like your life was full of trauma too. It is no wonder you cannot feel love, that you are cold and hurting inside.
It is hard to put our hearts out there for one, it is already broken, for two, we are trying to protect it.
Like a broken arm, we cannot use it until it is healed.
I love Leo Buscalglia. He has this great book that is all just paragraphs on different topics of love and quotations. It helps me so much.
For now I allow me to feel what I feel or don't feel. It is a strange place for me to be honest. I am really a loving person.
But after all the death and loss and kicks in the heart, My heart really hurts and I get afraid of dieing from a broken heart.
Sometimes the best way to get going is to give. Just volunteer at a humane society or whatever. Don't think about feeling or not feeling, live your life. Look for the wonder of the earth.
I too think it has to do with self love. do you love You? What do you like about you?
Maybe try keeping a journal. Do what you love, what do you like to do? snowboard? bungie jump. maybe you need to stimulate your body somehow?
I know that making myself feel alive helps. renew myself. I love to get on my horse and just try to stay on... haha
I like to build things. I am building my own bunkhouse now. It makes me feel proud.
keep coming back. and sometimes we have to pretend too, then all of a sudden we truly feeel it. love,debilyn
Honest share, and you really aren't alone. Most of us have a misconception of what love is, how we express it and what we think we can "do" to receive it. Here in Alanon we look at ourselves, it is a wonderfully selfish program, in a healthy way.
One of the things that I have had to learn is that before I can love anyone, I've got to learn to love myself. Sounds so corny but bottom line it's the truth. If I feel good about who I am, the life that I'm living, I tend to be kinder to myself and kinder to others. If I've found that balance, I do love myself, I'm not self destructive or self degrading, inturn -- I don't do those things to others either, but love them for who or what they are.
As humans we make thing so "conditional" -- whether it's how we give or receive love. We put conditions on what we define as "love." I've found it so important to look inside, not outside to find my answers.
