The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted before about my pending layoff. They only employed me while they needed the help. Once the work was complete I was given notice along with a dozen others. I've been seeing new faces at work too. Apparently they do this once a year. It reminded me of how the A treated me. He used me until he was finished then discarded me like I meant nothing to him. I do know I have been in a grieving state for a year because of the ending of the relationship and the loss of our baby. Some like to tell me to get over it, but that is not healthy. It is only normal to grieve a loss and it does not happen overnight. I received an e-mail from someone about a lecture on grieving and surviving personal crisis. This has come at a great time. HP must have a hand in this.
Anyhow, I have two interviews this week with marketing companies. I start 2nd class tonight, Business Statistics. I should finish my degree in 2 years. I wrote previously about how I dreamed of going to this school. It's very difficult to get in, so I was thrilled when I was accepted. I was sitting there the 1st night and listening to my classmates, thinking, "Wow, these people are very intelligent". Then I realized I was just as intelligent. I even spoke up in class without the feelings of fear of what everyone thought. It was so nice not to feel that fear. Thanks to Alanon and everyone's support this butterfly is coming out of her cocoon.
I can relate I have my own serious issues at work. I used to blame a lot of that stuff on the A. Of course the A has contributed to my issues at work. He once crashed into my bosses car. Nevertheless it isn't all him.
I am so glad that you are working on yourself and enjoying your studies. I spent quite a bit of time yesterday working with a recovery partner on what my new boundaries will be at work. One will be not to even hint I am in recovery. Self disclosure can get me into trouble.
I think the other issue for me is that when I'm not that open and closed I can come across as closed and stand offish to my co workers. I am not sure what the happy medium is. I will have to work on it. I had a good conversation with a recovery partner yesterday about it so I am thrilled to be working on it.
