The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone!!! I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more than I was expecting and I'm doing my tax refunds...so I'm positve I'll have a job before I go broke. <LOL> I've been in touch with the AH and he's taking it harder than I thought he would. He keeps asking me if I'm ready to come home, and it hurts me to tell him no. He asks "why"? And it drives me nut-ty!! I have to keep telling him, "you know why". But, of course he doesn't want to hear that it was his drinking and I can't help him there. We're not filing for the divorce right away, for financial reasons...but we are talking nicely to one another on the phone for the most part. I will be getting baptized soon and that means a whole new life of letting God lead me into a whole different direction, instead of the trust I have put in AH. Don't get me wrong...I don't hate him...in fact...I want to be married again someday...but right now, I need to heal too. It was 14 years ago tonight my AH and I met. It hurts to think we put so much time into the relationship, just to see it fail. But...that's the way it goes. He isn't PLEADING with me to go back to him, nor is he PROMISING me, he'll do WHATEVER it takes to get me back...so he is pretty sick with the disease as far as I'm concerned. If you really really love someone, don't you want to do whatever it takes to hold on to them? Well...I've got to jump off here and help the friend I'm staying with fix dinner. I'm with a friend whose married with 3 kids and I am trying to adjust to the kids after not having any around for 3 years now! <LOL> There are 2 boys and a girl here...ages 9, 11, and 14! I'm looking forward to getting a job and my own place again. <LOL> Take care everyone...I'll never forget you all...and the help I got!!! I am so happy to be back HOME, but at the same time I miss AH too, even tho I didn't think I would. I'll be in touch, and let ya's know what's going on. Hugs, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
Your post is inspiring. I am not there yet with the inspiration or the hope. I have been looking for work for what seems years and go from one dysfunctional place to another. My therapist says I am still on survival but I feel with al anon I am surviving at a higher level.