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level.
I posted about being asked to dinner by an A...and thanks to all for wonderful insight. I did have dinner with him last night. I kept my program close in my pocket. He brought his to dinner as well. We had a perfectly lovely evening, talking, comparing parenting notes, movies, etc. He talked at lengths about his program and his sponser. He spoke about being grateful as well as humble. Of course the little "Fred Flintstone martian man" was sitting on my shoulder at times reminding me of the lies A's tell, BUT, I kept reassuring myself that the food and conversation where good. No boundaries were even approached. I worked my program, and he successfully worked his. Today he called me and asked me to have coffee. I went, same thing, lots of chemistry, lots of commonalities. Tonight, he called. He was leaving an AA meeting and having a bite to eat with some folks from his group.
So I think he's comfortable talking with someone on the otherside of the program. I'm thinking he knows I understand that he has a disease and because I work the program myself, I have the tools not to come in between him and his HP. For sure, I will not let him come between me and mine.
One thing great about the dinner experience , it totally kept my mind off the active A I threw out of my house 3 months ago. It was awesome being at a fancy dinner without worrying if an 8th glass of wine was going to be ordered...or the other people would start to stare at our table as the tone of voice got louder.
I don't know if this dinner will lead anywhere with this person. I think the experience helped my program in a big way.
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I think it's great that you went on a date -- whether A or not -- we only have this one day, this one day to enjoy and I am glad you did. You didn't say you were going to marry him, just go on a date for a nice dinner.
Alanon suggests you wait at least 6 months before making any major life changing decisions In the meantime enjoy.
yours in recovery,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Glad you had a nice time. It's nice to have a common bond and have the perspective of a recovering A. Hubby and I have date nights, sometimes they involve going to an AA meeting. You did really well keeping your green martian by your side (what was his name?). Take things as slow as you like. Trust your instinct. Remember life is short, so grab it and go. HAVE FUN! We are entitled to live a life full of love and fun and great joy.
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.