The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I lost the last person I loved to Alcohol ,my sister, my nephew was murdered one month before, this all happened this winter. Im not here as someone who is living with an A, she is gone now to be with God. Im criticly ill with progressive Brain illness and spinal illness (Wheelchair and canes since 97), I layed my 87 pound body over here dead body and it took 4 adults to pull me off her, as I sat in my chair I screamed and screamed, Please God dont take her from me she was the Last person in my family left to love. She became AH late in her 40s, she never was able to deal with our past which made the talk show horrors one see's seem like a Disney movie. We were middleclass, lived in nice decent homes, and tortured. MY Brother died the same time 10 years ago to ALS and like him I have rare illness in brain and cord, and Anyeurysms and Stroke, Im the youngest at 46, there are 2 left, 2 sisters one is still an AH in that she was recovering then hit the bottle again, the other is high profile makes tons of money and thinks any little bump on her is going to kill her, my parents are alive and old and not worthy of ANYONEs love, they let me clean shit filled toilets from my Walker on the floor onto my knees, and told me to my face my other A sister will out live me and them thankyou so much.
I will read here daily as I have been, I went to Alanon mtg but will not continue, I already know about Alanon mtgs had to go for other sister back when in the day when I would pick her up from Police station drunk, I wish her well I feel no love for any of them, they are f'up people.
I went screaming into the snowy street the day my dear lovley sister died, it was her son who called me, he was too young to know what to do, my family didnt help me at all, I did the WHOLE thing, over 50 calls to coroners office and funeral homes ecttt. I HATE alcoholics, yes thats what I said at ALanon and I will say it today, that Damn Alcohol took away the ONLY precious person left in my family. I took care of her for many years and brought her into my home to live with me many times as a single mother even though I was the yuoungest of all siblings (8 years) I became the Caregiver to her, to my parents ALL while fighting for my life.
Its almost so bizare that Im writing on this forum, I feel happy you have each other, I feel Jealous your Alcoholic is still alive, Guess what! YOU WILL NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE THEM, my sister loved me more than Anything and Equal to her own son and I couldnt SAve her. They WILL die unless they totally REalize they are going to DIE Or They find a way to Crawl out of that HOle they are in.
I have no family left, they Died of horrendous illness's.
I will Say a preayer that the person you love Who is An A will Stop, will go to AA.
I Keep my sisterss Ashes and tell her Each day I love her and NOw She is SAfe, SAfe from our fmaily, SAfe from herself and SAfe from harm and ONe Dayu I will go to be With her and my BRother.
THAnkyouu if you REad this, my HEArt is totallly Broken in Two.
Welcome to MIP. If you have been reading here, you will know that this place is for your benefit and the people here are familure with your pain. I can't begin to imagine what you have described, but others here have been where you are and will offer their experience strength and hope.
I wanted to say welcome, and to let you know that your post was moving and I hope you will post more and maybe check out the chat or even a local meeting. The introduction to the meetings don't say " this group is for those who live with active alcoholics..." It says the only condition for membership is that you have been affected by drinking of another.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hello Little Sis and welcome to MIP. Please come back often and join the family here, members of which will give you non-judgmental comfort and love. We cling to one another when this terrible addiction takes its toll. Some of us live with the results of the addiction of a loved one; some of us live with As who are sober; others have family members who are fighting this awful problem. In any case we need and give understanding.
With great caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
You got a family here If you want It. Life Suck's, It Is unfair how we are forever losing the people we love so dearly. The pain doesn't go away, but we can learn to live with It. (Yea I know Ally, she doesn't want to hear that). We have all came into Al-Anon suffering similar experiences. We are here for eachother and have a brilliant sence of togetherness In here.
It's good to be able to SHOUT, SCREAM, whatever, and know someone Is ALWAYS here to listen to us.
If you have not tried It, PLEASE try the chatroom, you don't have to talk all the time, you can just sit and listen, and gain strength from other members.
Also something you wont be Interested In right now, But, we learn to laugh again In here, and It make a small dent In the heartbreak we are going through.
My sister also died from alcoholism at the age of 45. She was single and lived alone - she hid her disease very well, we had no idea that she had a problem until she was admitted into the hospital. She had total liver and kidney failure.
These boards and Al Anon meetings have helped me deal with her death and her disease in ways that I never expected.
People here know what you are going through and care.
oh honey I am so sad for you. Loss is so hard and so much a part of life. I too am alone with no family. I am blessed with my two kids but don't see them much as they live a ways away.
I miss my loved ones so much. but have learned to be ok with my aloness. i am disabled and cannot leave home much.
A lot is grief depression. I take one tiny moment at a time.
Just wanted to tell ya to come here and vent anytime. We all relate and hate alcoholism. It robs us.
Well you have us. These guys helped me thru too many losses to count.
