The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hello, new here, I am in recovery myself as well as my husband.. now I see my 19 year old showing signs of addiction as well... not sure of best way to handle this.. I have found pot, beer, pills in her room. After having 3 years clean and sober myself, not long ago ,a few months back, i just said forget it and smoked the pot I found, and continued for several weeks. never told my husband, but got scared when her friend got busted, and she was seen going in and out of a dealers house..I want to be present . I find it hard to find stuff in my own house but don't see myself kicking her out. It is not ok to get wasted myself and act like there is nothing wrong, but you know I hate feeling those feelings. I have been to al-anon meetings a few time, and felt like" one of them", my own stuff I'm sure. Anthow I have to go to work now but would appreciate any words of wisdom with kids and their use. Thanks
Haven't got kids using, but there are plenty here who do. Just wanted to say, welcome, read some old posts and you will find something that speaks to you. Keep going to those f2f, and kep your main focus on your own recovery - you cannot be there for your kids when you are in trouble yourself.
Welcome to MIP. I also have children involved with drugs and drinking. It's a heart breaking road to travel.
When I first read your post my first reaction to you smoking the pot you found was ......What???!!!@!@
However, once I settled down, again I found myself thinking, I only have my side of the road, not yours. I don't know how I would react in your shoes .... maybe the same.
Only thing I truly can share with you is that if you are in recovery yourself, then you know what a hard road this is. As much as we want to change and fix things for them , we can't. We CAN come here for encouragement and fellowship and strength ... and work our own program ..... allowing God to lead them on their own path to serenity and recovery.
None of my children have found recovery yet, but thankfully I have found Al-anon and a source of strength within the fellowship and relationship with my own HP (God to me).
Please keep coming back ... we already love you and look forward to walking the path together with you.
Hello, and thanks for your reply. I felt very bad for what I did. I try to justify by it being a less powerful drug.. I messed up, but am back on track, I do want to be there for my kids. I know I must stay clean and sobber myself. It is difficult to know how far to push a 19 year old, I have told her she is to have no drugs or drinks in this house. I turn it over and do the best I can.. It's nice to hear others experience strenth and hope from this side of recovery.. Thanks all.
Wow...honesty has it benefits. Now what do you do? I am sure that you already have heard, "You can't give away what you haven't got." Relapsing back into smoking pot is a wake-up call. So you can wear your daughter's shoes and can relate to her use. You can also share with her what it does for you like one alcoholic/addict to another. Often times that doesn't work for family members cause we don't dare sponsor our spouses or children. We are just not as believable as others outside our relationships. I could have never gotten my alcoholic wife sober and I could drink and use with her.
Setting boundaries is a must...for you and for your home!! If I didn't I enabled the situation to get worse. I set boundaries with my alcoholic/addict son and he and his using just ignored them...usual and I knew it so I had to do the next best thing for me and still almost lost my recovery due to negative emotions, thinking and behaviors. HP was and is the difference when I am powerless.
Feelings of guilt, shame, fear and self-pity didn't help my resolve with the alcoholic/addicts in my life because I used this in my self judgments. When I arrested the disease in my life and accepted the program of recovery as the only way I could live and survive then and only then could I stop enabling.
