Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been a week of birthdays in the literal sense of the word. I have had some frustrations and a lot of gratitude regarding my relatively new relationship and the fallout from his choices. Some days I'm ok with it and some days not so much. This week I have struggled to focus on the positive of what m...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the 12 Steps as a desperate person's shortcut to God, allowing us to access our good qualities and abilities. Though we may be aware that working the steps will bring relief from the confusion, fear, anger and self-pity we suffer from handling alcohol on our own, we don't alway...

katiebug76 · katiebug76

I find myself struggling not to respond with anger when my alcoholics lie to me about various things, but especially drinking. I have only been going to al-anon meetings for a few months, so I guess it's not too surprising that my reactions haven't changed yet. I do my best to at least not snap at them w...

makebelieve11 · makebelieve11

I posted a couple of weeks ago about my brother-in-law, who had finally gone through detox, and we were trying to find AA meetings and other treatment for him. I had hoped he was staying away from alcohol after the detox, but now know that he went right back to drinking as soon as everyone's back was turne...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relief we feel when we turn away from resentments and toward forgiveness. The energy it takes to hold onto and feed resentments is not only draining, but leaves us with little room for the positivity forgiveness will bring to our lives. The writer...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The AlAnon program makes it possible to believe in miracles because we get to see dramatic change in ourselves and others: Fear, confusion and hopelessness turn into hope, understanding, and serenity, sometimes without change in the qualifier's behavior. We are grateful for the wisdom of this sp...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Im struggling to stay present and focused on myself today. My A is still very much active and to my knowledge has stopped attending meetings as he told last week he didn't "need them". I didn't comment, just turned and walked in the house. I guess I'm learning to separate the man and the disease, but I'...

andromeda · andromeda

Not sure how many of you have ever been in this position, but dang, I am really struggling in my role as a step parent (well, we're not married but technically it's my role here). It's more thankless than being a parent. You don't have a parent/child relationship with someone else's kids. You can car...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Can you share how you stop your mind from going back to the negative thoughts and memories, worries and instead focus on what is good. Because, of course, there is always so much good in everyone's life if we just move our attention there!!

texas yankee · texas yankee

Things have been going well - everything in my life is very good - I have so much to be thankful for - of course, my heart still hurts all the time knowing the type of life my adult son is living, but aside from that one thing, all else is very good. Still, knowing the power of this disease, I've been going to a...

MissM · MissM

I had lunch with my parents yesterday. It was pleasant, mostly, although we had a moment when I was trying to discuss a recent parenting decision I had made and instead of listening they were lecturing, and not politely. Note- I didn't bring it up and would have preferred not to discuss it. And probably...

El · El

Ugh. Had a very embarrassing incident last night with AH when we were out to dinner. I was angry, but realize I will need to set some boundaries for the future. The good news for me is that I can see my program tools taking effect. At least for today. I woke up this morning thinking about last night, and rat...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 3 has been posted to the Step Boards please join in and share your thoughts. Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.ac...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 2 speaks about the Al-Anon program working because it helps us to take the focus off of our pain and sadness. When we think constantly about our own grievances and blame the alcoholics,our minds are too confused to accept life, the beauty and joys that are al around us each da...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My situation is this. I have an AD, in her late 30's, who lives in another state. When she is high, she calls or texts me nearly every day (wanting to share the un-ending chaos that is her life) then she sinks into depression and I don't hear from her for days. Then when she is taking too much of her prescript...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I'm struggling with this concept. Our marriage counselor thinks it's possible, alanon promotes it, I can't seem to live it. I realize alcoholism is a disease, but living with the effects of the disease, especially the fact that alcohol is always #1 can't be good for a marriage. Alcohol is like a mistr...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this week has not been the best for me and my AH. But, since I am trying to practice DETACHMENT, and using the PAUSE. i am able to not react to the things that have been happening. That's not to say that I am not mad as hell, it just means that I say, "Oh, OK." and walk away... without the outbursts, without t...

MissM · MissM

Today's reading considers the 'three A's'- Awareness, Acceptance, and Action, and how tempting and easy it can be to jump from awareness to action without ever considering acceptance. When a problem comes up and we become aware of it, those of us that are "fixers" tend to rush to fix it as fast as we can...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

hi everyone. this is the 3rd apartment I've lived in over 7 years that has mold in the bathroom. the first apartment's bathroom smelled horrendous after the prior tenant left and took her nice-scented things out if it. I got very, very sick. i developed sensitivities to chemicals after that because m...

VickiR · VickiR

I find it really difficult to detach from my AH and then reattach and then detach and try and remain open hearted. I just find myself feeling indifferent about our marriage and kind of dead inside. I mentioned before, my AH is still very active with his addiction. He doesn't come home from work at least a...

El · El

I am trying so hard not to JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) every day over every decision I make. My AH's rational thought process is diminishing....and he appears so threatened by so much. I feel the need to explain and defend a lot lately. I retired last June and due to health issues, a family d...

Lucas Buck · Lucas Buck

We have been together almost four years, married for two. I'm a social drinker but she likes to drink every day. She very rarely gets drunk usually restricting herself to one or two glasses of wine after work. When she does drink to get drunk she drinks a lot. After an especially vicious hangover last Th...

Mattie · Mattie

I am venting here because venting at home won't lead to any good outcomes. My child and I are living far away from our hometown for a couple of years. This means that child does not regularly see my ex-AH. My ex-AH is an ex-H, but not an ex-A. He is very much a current A, though he's a binge drinker, so he go...

shrnp · shrnp

My A-exbf has been sober for over two months now. He will die if he drinks because of his liver, so he remains in recovery. Now, he has pain pills. The pills are fairly strong compared to what someone else might get prescribed. He is taking two at a time, and yesterday he took five of them. They are not presc...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The next few days are so bitter sweet for me. My son turns the big 13 today and my daughter will be turning a very big 18. I can't believe they both survived in spite of me .. LOL! It really is a shock how much time has passed and how quickly it has passed as well. How much time I wasted being focused on my XAH a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading starts with a suggestion that many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we arrive at Al-Anon. We learn to deal with our feelings and we learn to share honestly about our experience. We also learn about ourselves and nurture our spiritual g...

Rhod76 · Rhod76

My AH has made progress. 4 months ago he couldn't even admit he was an alcoholic. He did 8 days in inpatient rehab in December after admitting he had a bad problem, and 6 weeks of IOP. However the longest he has been sober by my count is 3 weeks. He's been relapsing every couple weeks for 3 months. Sometimes...

Junenine · Junenine

i am going away for two nights. by myself. leaving my ABF home alone. i know this bothers him even though he understands it and doesn't begrudge me the need for quiet time away. neither of us have gotten away in a long time. i think it's healthy to have some space and independence in a relationship. i was al...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So here we are. AS is back living with his dad. I am grateful that he is out the drug house he was in. His dad is again enabling. His text to me the other day was, T isn't an addict, he isn't taking pills or shooting up. If he wants to smoke marijuana it's okay as long as he doesn't do it in front of me. And... he isn...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - can not believe that we are almost to April!!! Today's reading talks about the concept in Al-Anon recovery of keeping the focus on ourselves. So often, when we arrive, we don't understand this concept fully and believe that by taking care of us first, we will be perceived as selfish...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So one night I was perusing the postings and I came across Curlyblu's post about how her Qualifier ruined her favorite blanket. As I read her post, I kept thinking, Yup! I know how she feels. My bedroom (OK, our bedroom) is the one room in our tiny rented house that doesn't look like it was set up with flea-...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

It hit me this morning that I have setting myself up, comtaminating my thoughts just by not saying what I mean, mean what I say. I thought I understood what that ment. Of course I was looking at strickly with how I deal with my A when he is active. It is so much bigger than that. It involes me. Me being honest w...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I posted earlier about my mother riding in the car with my 5yr old son who wasn't buckled correctly. I have a "date" to talk to her again tonight. I set a time that wouldn't be stressful, and I'm doing my best to stay calm. I hugged friends at work, did some crochet, read my literature . . . I feel like even j...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi my MIP family, Lately, I have been experiencing quite a few "issues" with my FOO...especially my eldest sister. My FOO was typical: An AF, a wonderful non-drinking mother and three girls, myself being the middle. We all "suffer" some personal marital issues related to having grown up in alcoh...

Faith40 · Faith40

why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?! So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon j...

andromeda · andromeda

So, this AM I had to take my state securities law and financial advising combined exam. I failed it. Missed it by 1 question. I am in a very dark place right now, which I didn't expect. After failing my other exam twice and then taking a third time to pass, I thought I was done with failing tests. I guess...

RL17 · RL17

It's one of those days where I would love to go out in the hot tub and have a glass of wine, but I don't want to drink in front of my RA husband. Normally I do pretty good, but tonight I find myself resenting things. Please don't get me wrong, as I have dreamed of him being sober for years. Just finding it har...

Mokka · Mokka

Hi, This is my first time posting, I have been with my alcoholic partner for almost two years and have struggled through some difficult situations on my own but now I need help. I don't feel like I can speak to any friends or family about problems with my partner because they do not understand the added co...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes searching for something in a dark room without turning on a light, or turning down a car or train ride when we are late for a destination. The author compares these decisions to trying to deal with alcoholism in a loved one alone, without a higher power or AlAnon wisdom. Do we blam...

Aerin · Aerin

I ask questions here because I feel many of you have good insight and experience on the alcoholic mindset. No advice needed.. just trying to understand... I've stated before that ABF is in AA now for 6-7 months. But although he goes to meetings and loves what he is learning.. I am still dumbfounded how...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

.....I have yet to figure out what I means though. I have learnt I no patience for "friends" who are alcoholics. I have a friend who will call me when they are drunk to have a visit. Once I realize that they have been drinking I end the conversation. Frustrated. Annoyed that they call only when drinking. D...

xla13ellavita · xla13ellavita

Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...

susieb4547 · susieb4547

My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...

Debra55 · Debra55

It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.

Junenine · Junenine

hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...

beeharvs · beeharvs

I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...

makebelieve11 · makebelieve11

Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...

jessica1 · jessica1

Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...

TalieOwl · TalieOwl

What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...

mtk746 · mtk746

How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good News .. (Preview) It has been a week of birthdays in the literal sense of the word. I have had some frustrations and a lot of gratitude regarding my relatively new relationship and the fallout from his choices. Some days I'm ok with it and some days not so much. This week I have struggled to focus on the positive of what m...	SerenityRUS	6	414	Apr 5, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	4/5/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page describes the 12 Steps as a desperate person's shortcut to God, allowing us to access our good qualities and abilities. Though we may be aware that working the steps will bring relief from the confusion, fear, anger and self-pity we suffer from handling alcohol on our own, we don't alway...	Enigmatic	2	246	Apr 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling not to be angry when my alcoholics lie to me (Preview) I find myself struggling not to respond with anger when my alcoholics lie to me about various things, but especially drinking. I have only been going to al-anon meetings for a few months, so I guess it's not too surprising that my reactions haven't changed yet. I do my best to at least not snap at them w...	katiebug76	10	476	Apr 4, 2017 by katiebug76
	Worse than we thought (gambling) (Preview) I posted a couple of weeks ago about my brother-in-law, who had finally gone through detox, and we were trying to find AA meetings and other treatment for him. I had hoped he was staying away from alcohol after the detox, but now know that he went right back to drinking as soon as everyone's back was turne...	makebelieve11	6	671	Apr 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today April 4 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relief we feel when we turn away from resentments and toward forgiveness. The energy it takes to hold onto and feed resentments is not only draining, but leaves us with little room for the positivity forgiveness will bring to our lives. The writer...	yanksfan51	3	360	Apr 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	4-3-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) The AlAnon program makes it possible to believe in miracles because we get to see dramatic change in ourselves and others: Fear, confusion and hopelessness turn into hope, understanding, and serenity, sometimes without change in the qualifier's behavior. We are grateful for the wisdom of this sp...	Enigmatic	7	277	Apr 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Fighting to stay present (Preview) Im struggling to stay present and focused on myself today. My A is still very much active and to my knowledge has stopped attending meetings as he told last week he didn't "need them". I didn't comment, just turned and walked in the house. I guess I'm learning to separate the man and the disease, but I'...	pumkin26	8	486	Apr 4, 2017 by el-cee
	Step parenting is a tough job (Preview) Not sure how many of you have ever been in this position, but dang, I am really struggling in my role as a step parent (well, we're not married but technically it's my role here). It's more thankless than being a parent. You don't have a parent/child relationship with someone else's kids. You can car...	andromeda	8	520	Apr 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	How to move your focus to what is good in your life (Preview) Can you share how you stop your mind from going back to the negative thoughts and memories, worries and instead focus on what is good. Because, of course, there is always so much good in everyone's life if we just move our attention there!!	lgnutah	7	458	Apr 3, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Why can't I "get" it ?? I'm back again, for yet another serving of ESH (Preview) Things have been going well - everything in my life is very good - I have so much to be thankful for - of course, my heart still hurts all the time knowing the type of life my adult son is living, but aside from that one thing, all else is very good. Still, knowing the power of this disease, I've been going to a...	texas yankee	14	933	Apr 3, 2017 by texas yankee
	A messy ramble about how MEAN everyone is...lol (Preview) I had lunch with my parents yesterday. It was pleasant, mostly, although we had a moment when I was trying to discuss a recent parenting decision I had made and instead of listening they were lecturing, and not politely. Note- I didn't bring it up and would have preferred not to discuss it. And probably...	MissM	11	566	Apr 2, 2017 by MissM
	A New Day (Preview) Ugh. Had a very embarrassing incident last night with AH when we were out to dinner. I was angry, but realize I will need to set some boundaries for the future. The good news for me is that I can see my program tools taking effect. At least for today. I woke up this morning thinking about last night, and rat...	El	4	429	Apr 2, 2017 by shrnp
	Step 3 posted (Preview) Step 3 has been posted to the Step Boards please join in and share your thoughts. Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.ac...	hotrod	0	317	Apr 2, 2017 by hotrod
	ODAT reading 4-2-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 2 speaks about the Al-Anon program working because it helps us to take the focus off of our pain and sadness. When we think constantly about our own grievances and blame the alcoholics,our minds are too confused to accept life, the beauty and joys that are al around us each da...	hotrod	3	1586	Apr 2, 2017 by Nix
	Not sure where my role is here (Preview) My situation is this. I have an AD, in her late 30's, who lives in another state. When she is high, she calls or texts me nearly every day (wanting to share the un-ending chaos that is her life) then she sinks into depression and I don't hear from her for days. Then when she is taking too much of her prescript...	lgnutah	2	396	Apr 2, 2017 by el-cee
	Can an alcoholic marriage everbe healthy? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I'm struggling with this concept. Our marriage counselor thinks it's possible, alanon promotes it, I can't seem to live it. I realize alcoholism is a disease, but living with the effects of the disease, especially the fact that alcohol is always #1 can't be good for a marriage. Alcohol is like a mistr...	Chelle3	43	8505	Apr 2, 2017 by Jayla
	Just a shot (Preview) So this week has not been the best for me and my AH. But, since I am trying to practice DETACHMENT, and using the PAUSE. i am able to not react to the things that have been happening. That's not to say that I am not mad as hell, it just means that I say, "Oh, OK." and walk away... without the outbursts, without t...	PosiesandPuppies	7	467	Apr 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 1/4 (Preview) Today's reading considers the 'three A's'- Awareness, Acceptance, and Action, and how tempting and easy it can be to jump from awareness to action without ever considering acceptance. When a problem comes up and we become aware of it, those of us that are "fixers" tend to rush to fix it as fast as we can...	MissM	8	473	Apr 1, 2017 by MissM
	Allergies or inflammation to Mold? (Preview) hi everyone. this is the 3rd apartment I've lived in over 7 years that has mold in the bathroom. the first apartment's bathroom smelled horrendous after the prior tenant left and took her nice-scented things out if it. I got very, very sick. i developed sensitivities to chemicals after that because m...	WorkingThroughIt	16	446	Apr 1, 2017 by WorkingThroughIt
	Struggle to remain open hearted while detaching (Preview) I find it really difficult to detach from my AH and then reattach and then detach and try and remain open hearted. I just find myself feeling indifferent about our marriage and kind of dead inside. I mentioned before, my AH is still very active with his addiction. He doesn't come home from work at least a...	VickiR	10	525	Apr 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feels like everything's a battle (Preview) I am trying so hard not to JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) every day over every decision I make. My AH's rational thought process is diminishing....and he appears so threatened by so much. I feel the need to explain and defend a lot lately. I retired last June and due to health issues, a family d...	El	4	386	Apr 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	My Wife has a Problem (Preview) We have been together almost four years, married for two. I'm a social drinker but she likes to drink every day. She very rarely gets drunk usually restricting herself to one or two glasses of wine after work. When she does drink to get drunk she drinks a lot. After an especially vicious hangover last Th...	Lucas Buck	11	619	Apr 1, 2017 by pinkchip
	Keeping my cool (Preview) I am venting here because venting at home won't lead to any good outcomes. My child and I are living far away from our hometown for a couple of years. This means that child does not regularly see my ex-AH. My ex-AH is an ex-H, but not an ex-A. He is very much a current A, though he's a binge drinker, so he go...	Mattie	8	470	Mar 31, 2017 by milkwood
	Trying to mind my own business (Preview) My A-exbf has been sober for over two months now. He will die if he drinks because of his liver, so he remains in recovery. Now, he has pain pills. The pills are fairly strong compared to what someone else might get prescribed. He is taking two at a time, and yesterday he took five of them. They are not presc...	shrnp	5	500	Mar 31, 2017 by shrnp
	Time Marches On .. (Preview) The next few days are so bitter sweet for me. My son turns the big 13 today and my daughter will be turning a very big 18. I can't believe they both survived in spite of me .. LOL! It really is a shock how much time has passed and how quickly it has passed as well. How much time I wasted being focused on my XAH a...	SerenityRUS	8	455	Mar 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/31/17 (Preview) Today's reading starts with a suggestion that many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we arrive at Al-Anon. We learn to deal with our feelings and we learn to share honestly about our experience. We also learn about ourselves and nurture our spiritual g...	Iamhere	6	456	Mar 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Progress not perfection but I'm disappointed and judgmental (Preview) My AH has made progress. 4 months ago he couldn't even admit he was an alcoholic. He did 8 days in inpatient rehab in December after admitting he had a bad problem, and 6 weeks of IOP. However the longest he has been sober by my count is 3 weeks. He's been relapsing every couple weeks for 3 months. Sometimes...	Rhod76	7	483	Mar 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	pushing toward better perspective (Preview) i am going away for two nights. by myself. leaving my ABF home alone. i know this bothers him even though he understands it and doesn't begrudge me the need for quiet time away. neither of us have gotten away in a long time. i think it's healthy to have some space and independence in a relationship. i was al...	Junenine	5	427	Mar 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Square One (Preview) So here we are. AS is back living with his dad. I am grateful that he is out the drug house he was in. His dad is again enabling. His text to me the other day was, T isn't an addict, he isn't taking pills or shooting up. If he wants to smoke marijuana it's okay as long as he doesn't do it in front of me. And... he isn...	Tannersmom	5	478	Mar 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/30/17 (Preview) Good morning all - can not believe that we are almost to April!!! Today's reading talks about the concept in Al-Anon recovery of keeping the focus on ourselves. So often, when we arrive, we don't understand this concept fully and believe that by taking care of us first, we will be perceived as selfish...	Iamhere	6	428	Mar 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	So yea, Curlyblu, I know how you feel! (Preview) So one night I was perusing the postings and I came across Curlyblu's post about how her Qualifier ruined her favorite blanket. As I read her post, I kept thinking, Yup! I know how she feels. My bedroom (OK, our bedroom) is the one room in our tiny rented house that doesn't look like it was set up with flea-...	PosiesandPuppies	7	441	Mar 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Not meaning what I say (Preview) It hit me this morning that I have setting myself up, comtaminating my thoughts just by not saying what I mean, mean what I say. I thought I understood what that ment. Of course I was looking at strickly with how I deal with my A when he is active. It is so much bigger than that. It involes me. Me being honest w...	Curlyblu	9	515	Mar 30, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Gathering up my serenity (Preview) I posted earlier about my mother riding in the car with my 5yr old son who wasn't buckled correctly. I have a "date" to talk to her again tonight. I set a time that wouldn't be stressful, and I'm doing my best to stay calm. I hugged friends at work, did some crochet, read my literature . . . I feel like even j...	Taraxacum	6	408	Mar 30, 2017 by Skorpi
	Questions about FOO, isms, and insanity - long post - opinions welcomed (Preview) Hi my MIP family, Lately, I have been experiencing quite a few "issues" with my FOO...especially my eldest sister. My FOO was typical: An AF, a wonderful non-drinking mother and three girls, myself being the middle. We all "suffer" some personal marital issues related to having grown up in alcoh...	Doingmybest	10	519	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Merry go round ? (Preview) why oh why do I end up in the same place... Insanity !?! So my xah even now has this huge impact on my serenity. It happened last week and set off anxiety, I attended a meeting the topic was victim , very apt ! I have been doing a lot of work on expectation (mine ) and acceptance (mine), after all he's a pigeon j...	Faith40	4	463	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Ha. Well, I failed again (Preview) So, this AM I had to take my state securities law and financial advising combined exam. I failed it. Missed it by 1 question. I am in a very dark place right now, which I didn't expect. After failing my other exam twice and then taking a third time to pass, I thought I was done with failing tests. I guess...	andromeda	9	562	Mar 30, 2017 by a4l
	Having a rough day (Preview) It's one of those days where I would love to go out in the hot tub and have a glass of wine, but I don't want to drink in front of my RA husband. Normally I do pretty good, but tonight I find myself resenting things. Please don't get me wrong, as I have dreamed of him being sober for years. Just finding it har...	RL17	7	426	Mar 30, 2017 by nursedebbi
	Recovering alcoholic fiance - confusing myself with overthinking (Preview) Hi, This is my first time posting, I have been with my alcoholic partner for almost two years and have struggled through some difficult situations on my own but now I need help. I don't feel like I can speak to any friends or family about problems with my partner because they do not understand the added co...	Mokka	7	515	Mar 29, 2017 by Jerry F
	3-29-17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page describes searching for something in a dark room without turning on a light, or turning down a car or train ride when we are late for a destination. The author compares these decisions to trying to deal with alcoholism in a loved one alone, without a higher power or AlAnon wisdom. Do we blam...	Enigmatic	5	727	Mar 29, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Yes, Another Question (Preview) I ask questions here because I feel many of you have good insight and experience on the alcoholic mindset. No advice needed.. just trying to understand... I've stated before that ABF is in AA now for 6-7 months. But although he goes to meetings and loves what he is learning.. I am still dumbfounded how...	Aerin	11	447	Mar 29, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Learning everyday (Preview) .....I have yet to figure out what I means though. I have learnt I no patience for "friends" who are alcoholics. I have a friend who will call me when they are drunk to have a visit. Once I realize that they have been drinking I end the conversation. Frustrated. Annoyed that they call only when drinking. D...	Curlyblu	9	467	Mar 29, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Im a newcomer and need some advice.. (Preview) Hi all! I am a newcomer to all of this. I am currently dating for about 2.5 years an addict that is currently in longterm treatment. I have been going to Alanon meetings 4 days a week and they have been helping. I do read the books which are great. But i find myself having bad days, emotional days, etc. Even t...	xla13ellavita	2	264	Mar 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Can anyone tell me what a "participation" meeting is? (Preview) I was looking into some F2F meetings in my area, and one looks promising. It is listed as a "candlelight, participation, handicap-access" meeting. Now I understand the definition of each word, but I was wondering if anyone else has been to a participation meeting. I don't want to go if you are "requi...	PosiesandPuppies	6	360	Mar 28, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Another day another issue (Preview) Just want to say I have issues problems that all have solutions. God & I together can handle anything as long as I am willing. So I won't complain or share what gets me down. I just want to thank all of you for your support.	Hoot Nanny	3	384	Mar 28, 2017 by hotrod
	Need a little space .. (Preview) Asking for a break however not a break up .. this is the first time I have put the brakes on a relationship in this way. It's weird it has nothing to do with how I feel about him .. there is way to much drama going on and he needs to get his stuff straight. I'm coming to a point of I have had enough based upon the f...	SerenityRUS	21	603	Mar 28, 2017 by andromeda
	Bite my tongue (Preview) I so want to sit my AS down and set him straight. Ha ha, setting an addict straight is like jumping from a plane without a shoot, hoping for a gentle landing. I want to say, what have you done in the last 3 years that has been productive? Do you realize how manipulating your AGF is? Do you realize how Manip...	Tannersmom	3	3108	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the sense of safety and security we feel as members of Alanon. Anyone who has lived with or been affected by alcoholism knows that it brings a healthy dose of chaos-- among many other things, the program provides consistency, structure and the expecte...	yanksfan51	3	478	Mar 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Recovering but selfish (Preview) My husband is a recovering alcoholic (2 years with a few slip ups). To our friends and family, he is doing great and they are all very proud of him. To me, since I have seen the few times he has gone off the wagon, I resent the appearance he gives to the outside world. He is also quite selfish and does whate...	susieb4547	13	550	Mar 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Missing online meetings (Preview) I'm sure it's been talk about before....I'm really missing online meetings. The time threw me for a hoop. For me they are now at 7 am and 7pm....anyone else missing them too?	Curlyblu	3	286	Mar 28, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Living Fully (Preview) I decided to participate in a two day event to advance my physical, spiritual and emotional wellness. I went out and bought some required things on the last day to register. Even after I bought the stuff, I rationalized that I could use the stuff whether I decided to go or not. How practical of me lol. It w...	tiredtonite	4	594	Mar 28, 2017 by el-cee
	RIP John Freifeld (Preview) It is with sadness and a heavy heart I let you all know, John Freifeld, founder of MIP, and my brother passed away on Friday Feb 17th, 2017. RIP John Freifeld. Sorry for the loss of your founder and creator of MIP. Debra G.	Debra55	22	874	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	better but.... (Preview) hi, all. my AB has 90+ days sober. and things are better. he's in an OP program plus a vocational rehab program. started therapy and seeing psych. but... he steps out at night, says he's going to the store and i can't help but wonder. things are better. we've been rebuilding. but i don't fully trust him, a...	Junenine	11	692	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	I am new to this, thanks for reading! (Preview) I don't normally do this, and in fact am not a fan of reaching out online but I figured it is a good place for me to start before I seek out Al-Anon. I have done a ton of research on my own terms about alcoholism and loving an alcoholic and feel as though I am in a whirlwind of emotion at this point. I met my boyfr...	beeharvs	3	406	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	The Ghost of feelings Past (Preview) Well, I had a great week with my AGF who is fresh out of a 90 day in patient program. She is doing great, wish I could say the same for me. It seemed like at least once a day, I would find myself clinging to feelings and actions that I had when she was in her worst moments in her disease. The good news is that I ca...	Rickbrins	8	473	Mar 27, 2017 by Junenine
	Struggles with A-in-law (Preview) Hi everyone - Just to preface, I'm new here, know little about Al-Anon (except what I've read on the web recently), and have never dealt with an A before. My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and has been in and out of rehab for the past few years. He lives 1500 miles away, with a fiancee who is at her wit's en...	makebelieve11	13	545	Mar 27, 2017 by makebelieve11
	New and struggling (Preview) Hi Everyone! So nice to meet u ;) I am an adult child of an alchoholic mother. I am struggling. I have some sort of mental health condition in which they dont know what it is yet , maybe bipolar. All I know is that I have great trepidation and fear before going to work in the morning. I cry each morning a...	jessica1	3	406	Mar 27, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Advice requested: When he shows up drunk (Preview) What do you do when the alcoholic in your life shows up drunk on your front porch with car keys in hand? He's not allowed in my house because I don't have the space, he scares my animals, and because I don't want to be around him when he's drunk. I've set my boundary, but my boundary does not allow me to let him...	TalieOwl	13	407	Mar 27, 2017 by TalieOwl
	3/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude. To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment...	Enigmatic	4	407	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-26-2017 (Preview) The ODA T for March 26 asks the question, why is it so hard to admit that were powerless over alcohol as the first step requires?The reading indicates that many of us argue,the question does it mean powerless over alcohol or over the alcoholic. The reading points out that we should understand tha...	hotrod	3	997	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries (Preview) How do you set boundaries without it sounding like (or being) an ultimatum? What's the difference?	mtk746	12	952	Mar 27, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.