Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

a4l · a4l

This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...

andromeda · andromeda

I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...

newly wed 2015 · newly wed 2015

This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...

El · El

I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...

Aowen76 · Aowen76

My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the parts that introspection and meditation play in recovery. Looking inward and assessing our own behaviors and actions-- awareness. Being accountable for what we discover about ourselves-- acceptance. Praying for guidance so that we may wo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page carries the important reminder that in AlAnon, everything about our program is suggested, not required. We are free to "Take what we like, and leave the rest." We can choose slogans, steps, higher power, or what works for other members at our own pace or not at all. We can customize indiv...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi Everyone, I have been struggling with the dark night of the soul after a separation and my alcoholic father passed away (he was 86)> i realize in therapy and through the steps that I did not have available caretakers and I have very low self esteem although i was very successful in many areas of my...

Trying2heal · Trying2heal

My AH has been an alcoholic our entire marriage and has definitely progressed the past few years, he has rarely strung more than a few months of sobriety together and goes out on bingers for what used to be weeks is now months. In the past 2 years, he has spent a cumulative 2 months at home, only 10 days in...

runi · runi

hi my friends, i am feeling very discouraged, overwhelmed, confused. praying for clarity for far too long. turning / turned 'things' over to my higher power a long time ago and continue to today. don't see answers. the disease is so powerful and affects so many. and progressive.................

kate39 · kate39

I asked my AH to leave 2 years ago after he became very ill - delusional, paranoid, aggressive. He's since spent a year at rehab and now lives alone in a flat near to me and the children spend every weekend with him. They know they don't have to go if they don't want to but would actually rather be with their d...

runi · runi

i was at a meeting today and someone was talking about 'toxic' people and having no tolerance for them and getting away from them. dealing with addictive behaviors how and when do you know the difference. what is the difference between the 'disease ' and 'toxic' .... i don't want to be around toxi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Gang!! Love you all and just want to let you know my feelings right now. I'm getting better every day. I'm going to go visit my sister this weekend and let some balloons go. Yep that's what I want to do......over the Colorado River. I have to get Will's belongings this afternoon and I'm sure that's no...

Bayley · Bayley

My son pushed his father past his limit tonight. My husband said no more. My son has been an alcoholic/drug abuser for many years. He is very antagonistic toward his father; almost blaming him for any issues in his life. we pushed him into a 4 week rehab about a year ago. He was using the day after he got hom...

TryingToHoldOn · TryingToHoldOn

Found an Al anon group here in my neighborhood. My husband just walked out on me. Im scared that he would get himself into trouble drinking in a bar. Haven't contacted the Al anon here... Too scared that my husband would make a scene if he finds out. I married a wonderful person. But it changes right away o...

el-cee · el-cee

Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now. There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of co...

mamaboo2 · mamaboo2

Well at long last, here I am! I have been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. He was an alcoholic when I met him in College but just thought it was how all college guys were and assumed he would grow out of ir. Iguess my eyes were really opened about 10 years into our marriage. Finally noticing the hidden bo...

churchlady62 · churchlady62

HELP. My daughter is psychotic and was admitted to a mental unit yesterday for attacking her son and me and the mental ward is going to let her out and she is going to hitch hike to Colorado for tomorrow's marijuana holiday of 4/20 and I don't know what to do anymore. She is detached from reality and cros...

Mama86 · Mama86

Does it ever stop? I just want to live a normal life with my son. I dont want to be yelled at for not believing him. And then that be the reason it pushs me away so i dont want to see or hear him. But then my AH blame me for his drinking bc my son and I are not around. Its not fair i have to be the one spending all this m...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hello, I am trying to refrain/detach and not get angry and ask my A about "when its it gonna stop". He is not having success in the weaning process and he does not want to be drinking. This relapse has been a month and a couple days now. Our 1st baby is due in 27 days or less, time is running out. My mom and o...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Due to Al-Anon, I have been able to live with my active AH. I don't want to, but I cannot support myself and my teen son by myself, so I embrace whatever I can so that I can focus on me and not my AH. I have known him to be "dry-drunk," clean, and lately, what I call secret drinking. Drinking just enough to get hi...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

when I try to attend meetings the display on my computer settings must be ? off ? or something .. I can't see whose in the room .. the list . it's cut off on my end because page is too big .. not sure at all what to do .. wondering if anyone has had this experience and can help ? would be very grateful ..

Freetime · Freetime

Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum. I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had...

VickiR · VickiR

For those of you that remember my AH has been really out of control lately. I made it to my first F2F meeting this week which was great. Kind of a weird experience for me but positive and I will go back. This week he spent more on our (my credit card) and took more money out of our joint account. I am taking th...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hi there, My partner had a relapse almost a month ago, and I am due to have our first child in 4 weeks (or less). What was supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, has been a shit show. Things got ugly last week, I had to call the police on him and then I stayed at his mother's house. She and her husband a...

Serenity58 · Serenity58

My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse. She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today gives us a strong page that looks at the heart of how the program worked for one member. Finding AlAnon is compared to stepping into a "bright new world" where they saw that it is by changing ourselves that we drop the resentment, anger and fear that chokes us. Changes included first stopping judg...

andromeda · andromeda

My first sponsor used to say, whenever I was in crisis mode, to just 'do the next right thing'. And, for me, sometimes that meant 'do nothing' or do the dishes, or fold the laundry, or whatever it was that was the next thing to do. I would get out of control and vent like crazy and go on and on about how I was w...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 23 speaks about using sarcasm as a way of interacting with others . The reading points out "sarcasm" relieves our pent-up feelings and gives a certain satisfaction Sarcasm may have many components in itself, and becomes even more distasteful when we realize that it co...

Aline · Aline

I'm reading a book Mind by Daniel Siegel at the moment, and came across something that spoke to me. In complex systems things self-organize, some kind of spontaneous, unplanned order arising from chaos simply because various parts and processes of the system interact. I thought it relevant in te...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c addresses some of the misconceptions people often have about the fourth step, and the notion of searching for our defects. Many of us are by default very hard on ourselves and this step can seem like an excuse to berate ourselves even further. This is why we first thoroughly work the first 3...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses diversity and autonomy in our fellowship. As we have heard, Tradition 4 suggests that each group is autonomous, free to conduct meetings in a way that suits its members as long as it abides by the Traditions and doesn't harm the overall unity of Al-Anon. Some groups stick...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about step two and specifically the phrase 'restore us to sanity'. For many of us using the word insanity seems overly dramatic or harsh. That's definitely how I felt until I started coming here, going to meetings, reading the literature and working a pro...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about the gift from working the program to be ourselves - warts and all! The writer discusses her lack of smiling because of dental concerns. Years of humiliating criticisms from alcoholic relatives had the writer believing what she was hearing, and she rarely smiled/grinned...

AliciaS · AliciaS

Good Evening All, I am new to the Al non community and wanted to get to know others. I will be attending my first meeting this Thursday 4/20/17. I am excited and a little sad, but I do recognize I can't do this alone

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Hello all...Its been way too long since Ive come to the boards but I am trying to make my way back to program because I've allowed myself to become undone yet again. At the moment my most pressing question is whether or not it is a waste of time admitting fault in a recent falling out between my husband and I...

Dlove · Dlove

My AH is a DJ at a local bar. Last Wednesday night was a bad night (we have many). So bad, that he woke our 8 year old daughter up at 4 in the morning by being loud and obnoxious. He was being so loud that I peeked my head in her room to make sure she was still asleep she had her head under her pillow crying. Heartbr...

2XW · 2XW

A common theme I see across this site is folks at "the crossroads" of deciding whether a relationship is worth salvaging and whether or not to cut and run. As a recovering alcoholic who has just celebrated ten years with a wife that stood by him in his struggle with his addiction in the first year, I want...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

For some reason I have the ability to love other people's A's .. LOL .. not mine. I was having a light conversation about this today. Very honestly someone else would probably love my XAH .. someone else does .. LOL .. although I wonder how that's working for her. Not my business or really concern .. ju...

Junenine · Junenine

hello, all. wondering if anyone can lend some insight into different approaches to step work. i'm working with a potential sponsor and she approaches it the way her sponsor did with her: take each word of each step and write on that word for every 5 year segment of your life. every word. i am 49 years ol...

George · George

Hi new to al anon. I have been sacked in by this disease and need to get out. Partner is in recovery but I feel I'm still in the circle

Alo504LSU · Alo504LSU

Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Happy Spring! And Happy Easter to those that participate. So Easter invites went out 2 weeks ago regarding plans at my AH's adult nephew's house. He has a wonderful little family, and a very large house. I asked my AH, "So, what do you think? Are you gonna respond back? Should we plan on going?" His answ...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the change that occurred over time while a member worked a recovery program including regular AlAnon meetings, literature, even open AA meetings: they came to see alcoholism as a disease and made adjustments in their expectations. They were able to see their qualifier as il...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My late 30-something AD who lives in another state, has decided that I should be her dumping ground for all her unhappiness. I have tried to be a non judgmental, empathetic listener (and too often have tried to offer positive advice and suggestions), while (unsuccessfully) trying to set boundarie...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

I guess I spoke too soon on my last post. We live on a farm and I noticed my A was sitting in the car down there a long time. I walked down there and he's beyond drunk with the bottle in his hand. For whatever reason our lawn mower is on and he's covered in gasoline. I manage to wake him up and get him to the passeng...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading recalls the AlAnon suggestion to keep a favorite slogan or phrase handy for recall when we run into life turbulence. Favorite choices for this purpose include the Serenity Prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done", and many others. The key is to have something positive, something to q...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Posted this as a reply to another thread, but just wanted to metaphorically scream. The A in my life demonstrates not one iota of attempting recovery, recogintion, acceptance or anything.In fact I am very, very stressed tonight and feel very highly strung.The A in my life was extremely rude, belig...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

For the longest time, the morning after my A had been full out drunk, I would go in before he crawled out of bed and have this huge heart to heart about how I was feeling. Sometime repeat the mean things he had said. Because often at that time we would end up in a full out argument. Since finding this group. I'...

Mabel · Mabel

My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again

I've been in a relationship for around 16 years...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Easter for all who celebrate. I know I am a day early but I figured now is the time....I am not a 'fan' of holidays just because they are difficult and often I am reminded of lost dreams, lost people, etc. For my entire life and longer, my whole family has gotten together - 3-5 generations dependin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

MINE .. so these last couple of holidays my BF and I have spent with his family. Awesome doesn't cut it, last weekend we were in the throws of making sugar eggs and having a blast!! I'll have to share some pictures of our art. So we won't be seeing them for Easter which I'm honestly ok with because this is...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Super interesting topic and discussion this morning at the Easter Feaster and annual celebration that my home group puts on every year. Attending the discussion was myself, my sponsor and a couple other guys and it was started by a sponsee. My sponsee had concerns on several fears and my sponsor w...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi I am trying to widen my support group. I have people at face to face meeting, and I am looking for more people so I can have alot of different views on things. I am from Union County

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	respecting peoples time. (Preview) This is something that has become an interesting boundary for me. Interesting because as a concept its been foreign, having been mostly surrounded by alcoholism. Over the last two years, it's become an asset and more recently a boundary. When people are giving of their time, I feel good about being o...	a4l	5	605	Apr 28, 2017 by shrnp
	Feel like I'm losing my son (Preview) I know that, in reality, I'm not losing my kid to addiction or to depression.....but, I feel like he's more disconnected from me now than he used to be. He was my sidekick for so many years and because of his separation anxiety, he was never comfortable being away from me. Once the divorce happened 2.5...	andromeda	9	729	Apr 28, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Trying to keep my focus on myself (Preview) Lately I have been struggling with trying to keep my focus on myself and letting AW do her own thing and manage her own recovery in her own way, and feeling ... I'm not sure. Almost betrayed by the choices AW is making in her recovery. I let her move back in with the understanding that she would work full tim...	Skorpi	9	682	Apr 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Struggling (Preview) This is my first attempt at getting some sort of support. I am married to an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 2 of those years. In fact we just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. He was a drinker when I met him and in fact we used to really enjoying drinking together. I know w...	newly wed 2015	4	647	Apr 28, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Wondering what do I do now? (Preview) I posted in another thread that my AH had a panic attack last night, and while massaging his shoulders trying to calm him down, I saw the shape of a vodka bottle in his pocket. Long story short, i told him why bother lying about it, we all know what it is. Once I was sure that it was indeed a panic attack and not...	PosiesandPuppies	14	785	Apr 28, 2017 by Junenine
	TOAST (Preview) I am so sorry to not be able to credit who included TOAST in one of the posts here not too long ago. I believe it stands for "Turn it Over And Stop Talking." This has been my most recent go to slogan. It really has helped me to let go and not make a situation worse by commenting with my opinion all the time. ...	El	7	647	Apr 28, 2017 by El
	Earning trust back after finishing rehab (Preview) My husband comes out of his 14 day rehab program tomarrow. He is already asking me when he will get to drive our daughter aground again. I'm not comfortable with allowing him to drive her anywhere any time soon because he has been drunk driving for years and this is the very first time he has ever gone int...	Aowen76	22	3673	Apr 27, 2017 by Bo
	A funny .. (Preview) I am tattling on myself .. lol. Truly I am grateful for the Alanon program because what I say and think are two totally different things. I'm sure if you are on facebook going around at the moment is the little thing about the texting where it's he says .. then she says .. and there's a lot of deleting and u...	SerenityRUS	2	551	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 4-27-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 27 speaks about the time when the alcoholic finally finds sobriety and our reaction to it. The reading suggests that we must withdraw from being the dominant role that we obtained while the alcoholic was drinking . The reading asks will we try to cooperate with this mira...	hotrod	2	553	Apr 27, 2017 by Stan1
	I am not responsible for the way he acts! (Preview) Went to my therapist today and I thought this may help someone. My ah related again and is two weeks sober this time his moods are hyper sensitive and he has episode of whatever a lot lately. Example is I got a text from him with graphic picture of dog poop, yep dog poop. I ignored it and just drover home. As I...	Helpangel	9	705	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Divorce or Not-Leaving it in God's hands... (Preview) This last couple weeks my AH has gone back to drinking more so than normal in the last 2 months. He has withdrawn from attending family functions and just wants to stay home all the time. I know it's so he can drink and not feel guilty. Honestly my meetings to Al-anon have been helping more and more that I go...	Godsdaughter	13	913	Apr 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the parts that introspection and meditation play in recovery. Looking inward and assessing our own behaviors and actions-- awareness. Being accountable for what we discover about ourselves-- acceptance. Praying for guidance so that we may wo...	yanksfan51	4	629	Apr 27, 2017 by DavidG
	4/26/17 C2C - "Take What You Like, ..." (Preview) Today's page carries the important reminder that in AlAnon, everything about our program is suggested, not required. We are free to "Take what we like, and leave the rest." We can choose slogans, steps, higher power, or what works for other members at our own pace or not at all. We can customize indiv...	Enigmatic	6	912	Apr 26, 2017 by hotrod
	Self Esteem Building in Al Anon (Preview) hi Everyone, I have been struggling with the dark night of the soul after a separation and my alcoholic father passed away (he was 86)> i realize in therapy and through the steps that I did not have available caretakers and I have very low self esteem although i was very successful in many areas of my...	Charlotte22	2	602	Apr 26, 2017 by hotrod
	Repeated Infidelity, feeling very alone and hurt (Preview) My AH has been an alcoholic our entire marriage and has definitely progressed the past few years, he has rarely strung more than a few months of sobriety together and goes out on bingers for what used to be weeks is now months. In the past 2 years, he has spent a cumulative 2 months at home, only 10 days in...	Trying2heal	8	2732	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	discouraged, overwhelmed, confused (Preview) hi my friends, i am feeling very discouraged, overwhelmed, confused. praying for clarity for far too long. turning / turned 'things' over to my higher power a long time ago and continue to today. don't see answers. the disease is so powerful and affects so many. and progressive.................	runi	4	676	Apr 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	Coping with impact on children (Preview) I asked my AH to leave 2 years ago after he became very ill - delusional, paranoid, aggressive. He's since spent a year at rehab and now lives alone in a flat near to me and the children spend every weekend with him. They know they don't have to go if they don't want to but would actually rather be with their d...	kate39	6	656	Apr 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	What is toxic (Preview) i was at a meeting today and someone was talking about 'toxic' people and having no tolerance for them and getting away from them. dealing with addictive behaviors how and when do you know the difference. what is the difference between the 'disease ' and 'toxic' .... i don't want to be around toxi...	runi	7	859	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Another Day (Preview) Hi Gang!! Love you all and just want to let you know my feelings right now. I'm getting better every day. I'm going to go visit my sister this weekend and let some balloons go. Yep that's what I want to do......over the Colorado River. I have to get Will's belongings this afternoon and I'm sure that's no...	Cathyinaz	5	582	Apr 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Crisis 2 (Preview) My son pushed his father past his limit tonight. My husband said no more. My son has been an alcoholic/drug abuser for many years. He is very antagonistic toward his father; almost blaming him for any issues in his life. we pushed him into a 4 week rehab about a year ago. He was using the day after he got hom...	Bayley	12	837	Apr 26, 2017 by Bayley
	Hello needing help (Preview) Found an Al anon group here in my neighborhood. My husband just walked out on me. Im scared that he would get himself into trouble drinking in a bar. Haven't contacted the Al anon here... Too scared that my husband would make a scene if he finds out. I married a wonderful person. But it changes right away o...	TryingToHoldOn	8	682	Apr 25, 2017 by TryingToHoldOn
	Spiritual awakening!!! (Preview) Wow. This program blows me away. I've recently been led to awareness acceptance and I'm filled with such hope right now. There is a flawed human on the fringes of my life who is the figure of hate resentment and anger by a large group of people and my close friend is one of them. I've mostly stayed out of co...	el-cee	17	796	Apr 25, 2017 by 2HP
	New to this, I don't want my daughters to become alcoholics, here I am... (Preview) Well at long last, here I am! I have been married to an alcoholic for 20 years. He was an alcoholic when I met him in College but just thought it was how all college guys were and assumed he would grow out of ir. Iguess my eyes were really opened about 10 years into our marriage. Finally noticing the hidden bo...	mamaboo2	3	631	Apr 25, 2017 by a4l
	crisis (Preview) HELP. My daughter is psychotic and was admitted to a mental unit yesterday for attacking her son and me and the mental ward is going to let her out and she is going to hitch hike to Colorado for tomorrow's marijuana holiday of 4/20 and I don't know what to do anymore. She is detached from reality and cros...	churchlady62	11	1027	Apr 25, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Does it get easier? (Preview) Does it ever stop? I just want to live a normal life with my son. I dont want to be yelled at for not believing him. And then that be the reason it pushs me away so i dont want to see or hear him. But then my AH blame me for his drinking bc my son and I are not around. Its not fair i have to be the one spending all this m...	Mama86	7	637	Apr 25, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Trying to refrain/detach- don't know how to talk to my A (Preview) Hello, I am trying to refrain/detach and not get angry and ask my A about "when its it gonna stop". He is not having success in the weaning process and he does not want to be drinking. This relapse has been a month and a couple days now. Our 1st baby is due in 27 days or less, time is running out. My mom and o...	LoveNHope	9	799	Apr 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need your ESH (Preview) Due to Al-Anon, I have been able to live with my active AH. I don't want to, but I cannot support myself and my teen son by myself, so I embrace whatever I can so that I can focus on me and not my AH. I have known him to be "dry-drunk," clean, and lately, what I call secret drinking. Drinking just enough to get hi...	PosiesandPuppies	18	831	Apr 25, 2017 by Iamhere
	does anyone know how to resize meeting site page on forum on their computer .. (Preview) when I try to attend meetings the display on my computer settings must be ? off ? or something .. I can't see whose in the room .. the list . it's cut off on my end because page is too big .. not sure at all what to do .. wondering if anyone has had this experience and can help ? would be very grateful ..	MeTwo2	3	513	Apr 24, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Why our program works (Preview) Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum. I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had...	Freetime	5	644	Apr 24, 2017 by 2HP
	Venting/update (Preview) For those of you that remember my AH has been really out of control lately. I made it to my first F2F meeting this week which was great. Kind of a weird experience for me but positive and I will go back. This week he spent more on our (my credit card) and took more money out of our joint account. I am taking th...	VickiR	3	591	Apr 24, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need support, devastated (Preview) Hi there, My partner had a relapse almost a month ago, and I am due to have our first child in 4 weeks (or less). What was supposed to be the happiest time in our lives, has been a shit show. Things got ugly last week, I had to call the police on him and then I stayed at his mother's house. She and her husband a...	LoveNHope	18	828	Apr 24, 2017 by Lee51
	Death of my alcoholc (Preview) My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse. She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful...	Serenity58	13	963	Apr 24, 2017 by Jill
	4/24/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) (Preview) Today gives us a strong page that looks at the heart of how the program worked for one member. Finding AlAnon is compared to stepping into a "bright new world" where they saw that it is by changing ourselves that we drop the resentment, anger and fear that chokes us. Changes included first stopping judg...	Enigmatic	5	851	Apr 24, 2017 by MissM
	Doing the next right thing (Preview) My first sponsor used to say, whenever I was in crisis mode, to just 'do the next right thing'. And, for me, sometimes that meant 'do nothing' or do the dishes, or fold the laundry, or whatever it was that was the next thing to do. I would get out of control and vent like crazy and go on and on about how I was w...	andromeda	7	1345	Apr 23, 2017 by Bo
	ODAT READING 4-23-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 23 speaks about using sarcasm as a way of interacting with others . The reading points out "sarcasm" relieves our pent-up feelings and gives a certain satisfaction Sarcasm may have many components in itself, and becomes even more distasteful when we realize that it co...	hotrod	5	648	Apr 23, 2017 by Stan1
	Letting go - something for fun (Preview) I'm reading a book Mind by Daniel Siegel at the moment, and came across something that spoke to me. In complex systems things self-organize, some kind of spontaneous, unplanned order arising from chaos simply because various parts and processes of the system interact. I thought it relevant in te...	Aline	3	564	Apr 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 22/4 (Preview) Today's c2c addresses some of the misconceptions people often have about the fourth step, and the notion of searching for our defects. Many of us are by default very hard on ourselves and this step can seem like an excuse to berate ourselves even further. This is why we first thoroughly work the first 3...	MissM	3	653	Apr 22, 2017 by 2HP
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses diversity and autonomy in our fellowship. As we have heard, Tradition 4 suggests that each group is autonomous, free to conduct meetings in a way that suits its members as long as it abides by the Traditions and doesn't harm the overall unity of Al-Anon. Some groups stick...	Iamhere	6	629	Apr 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about step two and specifically the phrase 'restore us to sanity'. For many of us using the word insanity seems overly dramatic or harsh. That's definitely how I felt until I started coming here, going to meetings, reading the literature and working a pro...	yanksfan51	7	646	Apr 21, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/20/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about the gift from working the program to be ourselves - warts and all! The writer discusses her lack of smiling because of dental concerns. Years of humiliating criticisms from alcoholic relatives had the writer believing what she was hearing, and she rarely smiled/grinned...	Iamhere	4	428	Apr 20, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Help (Preview) Good Evening All, I am new to the Al non community and wanted to get to know others. I will be attending my first meeting this Thursday 4/20/17. I am excited and a little sad, but I do recognize I can't do this alone	AliciaS	5	671	Apr 20, 2017 by Jen61
	Advisable to admit fault to a very active alcoholic or waste of time? (Preview) Hello all...Its been way too long since Ive come to the boards but I am trying to make my way back to program because I've allowed myself to become undone yet again. At the moment my most pressing question is whether or not it is a waste of time admitting fault in a recent falling out between my husband and I...	Hopefull15	8	752	Apr 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	It's always something! Frustrated!! (Preview) My AH is a DJ at a local bar. Last Wednesday night was a bad night (we have many). So bad, that he woke our 8 year old daughter up at 4 in the morning by being loud and obnoxious. He was being so loud that I peeked my head in her room to make sure she was still asleep she had her head under her pillow crying. Heartbr...	Dlove	7	753	Apr 20, 2017 by el-cee
	Stay Or Run: How to know if your partner is serious about recovery. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) A common theme I see across this site is folks at "the crossroads" of deciding whether a relationship is worth salvaging and whether or not to cut and run. As a recovering alcoholic who has just celebrated ten years with a wife that stood by him in his struggle with his addiction in the first year, I want...	2XW	51	1688	Apr 20, 2017 by Bo
	My Tunnel Vision (Preview) For some reason I have the ability to love other people's A's .. LOL .. not mine. I was having a light conversation about this today. Very honestly someone else would probably love my XAH .. someone else does .. LOL .. although I wonder how that's working for her. Not my business or really concern .. ju...	SerenityRUS	4	713	Apr 19, 2017 by shrnp
	how to approach step work? (Preview) hello, all. wondering if anyone can lend some insight into different approaches to step work. i'm working with a potential sponsor and she approaches it the way her sponsor did with her: take each word of each step and write on that word for every 5 year segment of your life. every word. i am 49 years ol...	Junenine	9	668	Apr 19, 2017 by Junenine
	New to all anon Need to talk (Preview) Hi new to al anon. I have been sacked in by this disease and need to get out. Partner is in recovery but I feel I'm still in the circle	George	21	933	Apr 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	New this group (Preview) Hi I am New as well. Going through a tough time. Recently started divorce process and yesterday my A decided to attempt suicide and is hospital right now for psych evaluation. We have two little ones and it's taking a huge toll on everyone. Feel so lost right now.	Alo504LSU	7	575	Apr 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Ah, Easter - just one more holiday/family event my AH is gonna miss. (Preview) Happy Spring! And Happy Easter to those that participate. So Easter invites went out 2 weeks ago regarding plans at my AH's adult nephew's house. He has a wonderful little family, and a very large house. I asked my AH, "So, what do you think? Are you gonna respond back? Should we plan on going?" His answ...	PosiesandPuppies	8	639	Apr 19, 2017 by Jazzie18
	4/19/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page describes the change that occurred over time while a member worked a recovery program including regular AlAnon meetings, literature, even open AA meetings: they came to see alcoholism as a disease and made adjustments in their expectations. They were able to see their qualifier as il...	Enigmatic	3	531	Apr 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	I gained some serenity (Preview) My late 30-something AD who lives in another state, has decided that I should be her dumping ground for all her unhappiness. I have tried to be a non judgmental, empathetic listener (and too often have tried to offer positive advice and suggestions), while (unsuccessfully) trying to set boundarie...	lgnutah	5	616	Apr 19, 2017 by el-cee
	I should have called the police (Preview) I guess I spoke too soon on my last post. We live on a farm and I noticed my A was sitting in the car down there a long time. I walked down there and he's beyond drunk with the bottle in his hand. For whatever reason our lawn mower is on and he's covered in gasoline. I manage to wake him up and get him to the passeng...	Isthisreallife	21	772	Apr 18, 2017 by Jayla
	4/17/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's reading recalls the AlAnon suggestion to keep a favorite slogan or phrase handy for recall when we run into life turbulence. Favorite choices for this purpose include the Serenity Prayer, "Not my will, but thine be done", and many others. The key is to have something positive, something to q...	Enigmatic	10	630	Apr 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Grrrrr. Wanna scream. (Preview) Posted this as a reply to another thread, but just wanted to metaphorically scream. The A in my life demonstrates not one iota of attempting recovery, recogintion, acceptance or anything.In fact I am very, very stressed tonight and feel very highly strung.The A in my life was extremely rude, belig...	jitsuka	13	658	Apr 18, 2017 by Mattie
	How do you talk to your A (ESH Please) (Preview) For the longest time, the morning after my A had been full out drunk, I would go in before he crawled out of bed and have this huge heart to heart about how I was feeling. Sometime repeat the mean things he had said. Because often at that time we would end up in a full out argument. Since finding this group. I'...	Curlyblu	21	676	Apr 17, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Hi :) New here (Preview) My first pot here. Ive been reading others' posts, they all speak to my experiences in a way i have never experienced wirh another human being. I have been to 2 meetings, some time ago now. And read daily from Courage to Change. I will go to meetings again I've been in a relationship for around 16 years...	Mabel	6	548	Apr 17, 2017 by shrnp
	Happy Easter (early).... (Preview) Happy Easter for all who celebrate. I know I am a day early but I figured now is the time....I am not a 'fan' of holidays just because they are difficult and often I am reminded of lost dreams, lost people, etc. For my entire life and longer, my whole family has gotten together - 3-5 generations dependin...	Iamhere	10	671	Apr 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	A funny about control .. LOL (Preview) MINE .. so these last couple of holidays my BF and I have spent with his family. Awesome doesn't cut it, last weekend we were in the throws of making sugar eggs and having a blast!! I'll have to share some pictures of our art. So we won't be seeing them for Easter which I'm honestly ok with because this is...	SerenityRUS	4	687	Apr 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	What do you fear the most? (Preview) Super interesting topic and discussion this morning at the Easter Feaster and annual celebration that my home group puts on every year. Attending the discussion was myself, my sponsor and a couple other guys and it was started by a sponsee. My sponsee had concerns on several fears and my sponsor w...	Jerry F	10	631	Apr 17, 2017 by Jerry F
	LOOKING FOR PEOPLE FROM JERSEY (Preview) Hi I am trying to widen my support group. I have people at face to face meeting, and I am looking for more people so I can have alot of different views on things. I am from Union County	nycbt	4	3043	Apr 17, 2017 by Bo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.