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Courage to Change 10/6
(Preview)
Today's c2c reading is about the eight step- "make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". The reading points out that this can be a very daunting or even distressing step to contemplate and suggests beginning with not 1 list but 3 lists..people we ARE willing...
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MissM
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4
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494
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Greetings from Alaska!
(Preview)
Just wanted to say hello to all of my MIP family. We, my RAH ( well over two years of sobriety now) and I are visiting Alaska for a month. For those who believe it can never happen for you (hubby/wife getting sober, that is), I want to share a few things. In April, just over two years ago, I would have sworn o...
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Doingmybest
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7
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981
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A very long post on trusting the process...
(Preview)
I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.My family home is in a rural area of C...
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Bethany66
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12
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1018
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Quacking
(Preview)
OK, so I know we need to focus on ourselves and not on our Qualifiers, but this is so funny I just had to post! Thursday is my AH's payday, so it's been a rough 2 days. Tonight he was drunk, but not enough to pass out. Just enough to be angry and obnoxious. I basically tried to leave him alone. But at one point h...
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PosiesandPuppies
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1
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474
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Clarification and Suggestions Please
(Preview)
Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery.
I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...
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Jaybee
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9
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640
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Physically sober only
(Preview)
Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...
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El
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7
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509
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Can an alcoholic "forget" they have imbibed?
(Preview)
Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...
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PosiesandPuppies
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26
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4607
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Feeling happy and drained.
(Preview)
My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.
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a4l
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5
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490
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Countdown
(Preview)
So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...
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WestMan
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11
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624
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Gratitude - In the Most Mysterious Things!
(Preview)
I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...
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Iamhere
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17
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2652
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The new chaos, same as the old chaos
(Preview)
I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...
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Mattie
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4
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539
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Help. New to this group, haven't been to local meeting yet. Feeling lost and sad and anxious.
(Preview)
Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...
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augrads
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16
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585
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Hope for Today - 6/8/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...
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Iamhere
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4
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389
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Trying to identify exact problem with BIL
(Preview)
Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...
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Faintly Falling
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11
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2554
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Learning to pause ..
(Preview)
before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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654
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The opposite of frustration...
(Preview)
I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...
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Jerry F
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12
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3640
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6/7/17 ODAT – Polite, or Courteous?
(Preview)
Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...
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Enigmatic
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6
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442
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Scared of son
(Preview)
I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...
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Katiki67
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9
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1016
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My anniversary
(Preview)
Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...
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Lyne
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12
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449
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Nerves rattled at work....need ESH please!
(Preview)
Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...
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Hopefull15
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8
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495
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Hope ForToday June 6
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...
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yanksfan51
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6
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522
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Oops please delete
(Preview)
. -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM
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MissM
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6
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857
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Al-Anon in my daily life- interesting
(Preview)
Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...
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pumkin26
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5
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410
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Wake up and be present in your life.....
(Preview)
I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...
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LinSC
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4
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504
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Jealousy issues, spouses addiction to flirt
(Preview)
Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...
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1breathatatime
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11
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2934
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6/5/17 C2C - Turn our Will and our Lives Over...
(Preview)
Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...
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Enigmatic
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4
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406
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W.O.W.
(Preview)
A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...
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Jayla
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7
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941
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Gratitude
(Preview)
One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...
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Lyne
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3
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463
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Is that part of the disease?
(Preview)
Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...
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WestMan
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9
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2381
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New here having anxiety
(Preview)
I'm new here. I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety today. Maybe someone can chat with me. I'm a SAHM of a toddler. My husband is a recovering alcoholic - about 60 days sober and I still experience anxiety and worry and dread when he has to go out with work colleagues or clients. Today is one of those worrisom...
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Amy9087
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7
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3832
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ODAT reading for Sunday 6-4-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of prayer in our lives. The reading points out, that if we pray" my will be done" this is exactly what we say when we ask God to do what we want. If we receive what we pray for-.how do we know it will really made us happy? We do not always know what's...
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hotrod
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3
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2232
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Mom at the end of her rope...
(Preview)
I'm new to this forum and looking for other Mom's in my situation. My 29 year old daughter is an Alcoholic, she lives at home with my husband and I and her younger sister also lives here. She just relapsed again this week two days after getting her 60 day chip. Our whole house turns into turmoil when she sta...
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Kerry4058
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8
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2855
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New here
(Preview)
Hi, my live in girlfriend is recently off suboxone, she was on for a year and a half. She was addicted to opiates and vodka for about 4 years. She went of suboxone slowly and has been off a month now. I don't know her anymore. One minute you can talk to her and she's fine, the next minute she's unreasonable, s...
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Snow3
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7
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1983
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Esophageal varicies
(Preview)
I'm keeping an eye on my ah for esophageal/rectal varices. I have found blood and quite a bit at a time but it never dawned on me it could be varices. I had never heard of this problem until a friend of mine told me her husband died from esophageal varices. He bled out on the bathroom floor,she called an a...
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pixie
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7
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2759
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Aha moments in alanon
(Preview)
Ive had lots n lots of aha moments while reading every bodies post, showing my growth in the program,which is great. now to just get my full trust back,seems I'm skeptical theses days.......thank you for reading n replieing to my posts as well hugs lu
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lookingup
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10
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2656
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Hope for Today - 6/2/17
(Preview)
The daily reading in Hope for Today discusses how we can be addicted to the chaos/drama the disease brings, just as the alcoholic is addicted to the alcohol. While we may realize that it's damaging and insane, we are still 'comfortable' in it because it's consistent and patterned. It's possible th...
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Iamhere
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7
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2216
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Nice to be free.
(Preview)
I love not sharing space with a partner. Since leaving, my headspace is clearer. I've been writing and am attempting to make a go of freelancing. The kids have been away for a weekend, which was great, and we're happy.
Its funny how life started working out for both of us once I upped and left. I got stuck...
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a4l
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14
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2166
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Holding a grudge/ not able to accept appologies
(Preview)
I've had some insight lately into something that I am not the most proud of about myself. I can hold a grudge for a long time. And I'm really not very good at accepting apologies. A recent incident with a friend helped me see this. I had a friend who did something crappy, apologized pretty quickly abo...
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KT2015
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11
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2602
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Courage To Change 3/6- How we respond to senseless arguments and deflection.
(Preview)
Today's c2c discusses the tendency addicts have to provoke arguments about irrelevant (or non-existent) things, to divert attention away from their substance abuse and it's effects. When we are attacked, we respond and try to argue back (or reason, plead, etc) and because we are arguing about som...
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MissM
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4
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792
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Donate button.
(Preview)
Anyone know where the donate button is? I may be over looking it dunno. thank you,,lu
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lookingup
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2
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2001
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Missing Betty,Hotrod
(Preview)
Where you go Betty? are you here miss u.
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lookingup
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5
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2426
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Infidelity
(Preview)
I really need some help today. I'm having a difficult time dealing with my emotions. About 3 months ago my AH told me he wanted a divorce, gave me no reasons other than he'd been thinking about it for a long time and wanted out. I asked him why and he said it was 100% him but i continued to push. He then pro...
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mojotwist
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9
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2991
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devastated (again) & in need of ESH
(Preview)
i'm realizing i need to LEAVE. ABF (was fiance) has habit of invading my privacy for no reason other than his own deep insecurity and possible OCD. we are already in a fragile place in our relationship and he did it again. he bugged my bedroom in my own home. i also know he's drinking again after supposed...
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Junenine
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19
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2897
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RE: Newbie here
(Preview)
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Ali72
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4
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3209
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Staying in the moment - One day at a time
(Preview)
Today is a special day. My 27 year old son who gave me great grief as a teenager and brought me to my knees and then to Al-Anon, is getting married. It is a civil service at the courthouse and he has asked me to stand up for him. My husband, (his stepfather since he was 4 years old) will be joining us. I was...
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Bethany66
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5
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2193
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Wife in Jail Again...
(Preview)
Hi everyoneNew to the groupI am currently dealing with an alcoholic wife. . We have been together for almost six years. During that time, she has picked up three DUIs. She has been to jail three times and rehab four times.Each and every time the famous words I am done, I am never drinking again were s...
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T84
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7
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944
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Just a ramble
(Preview)
I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for...
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a4l
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10
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1193
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Lost it with my A
(Preview)
So I took it personally yesterday and lost it with my A. It just hit me after experiencing this repeatedly that whenever I ask him if he wants to do something with me or the family his answer is always no. He just wants to be at home "relaxing" (i.e. drinking). But he has no problem making plans all the time w...
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Jayla
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7
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2422
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Hope for Today - 6/1/17
(Preview)
Good morning MIP - sorry for the late post of the daily... Today's reading talks about the journey of recovery. What is discussed is how the 4th Step revealed the habit of assuming the destination was the 'end-game' and where the joy would be found. Often, we find that we are rushing through the days t...
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Iamhere
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3
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1739
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Seventh Step
(Preview)
Good afternoon MIP family. I am back from my exhausting, wonderful vacation which required that I use many of my Al-Anon tools in order to stay in the moment and in the day I am happy to report that the program works when I work it. I have posted the seventh step to the step work board and would apprecia...
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hotrod
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5
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2519
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Alcoholic wife
(Preview)
I have been with my wife for 11 years now and I am at a crossroads in our marriage all because of alcohol... We met when I was 19 and doing my undergraduate degree. Alcohol was a completely normal part of being students for us - we went out to socialise pretty much every night. Once the student bubble burst...
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bt9007
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9
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2902
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5/19/17 ODAT – What If...
(Preview)
Today's page acknowledges that many questions brought to AlAnon involve 'what if'. Fear of what might happen is often at the heart of desperate actions. AlAnon suggests that trying to forecast the future actions of anyone, particularly a qualifier, is not helpful. By looking for or expecting neg...
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Enigmatic
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5
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1454
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5/31/17 Courage to Change - Our Epic Journey
(Preview)
Today's page compares our AlAnon recovery to the heroic quests of legend, where incredible challenges are faced and conquered in pursuit of a valuable treasure or task. As Odysseus had his odyssey, Jason his Golden Fleece, ours' is the great journey of spiritual self discovery. Our recovery journ...
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Enigmatic
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4
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2790
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Hope for Today May 30
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about feeling gratitude for where we are, right in this moment, and how Alanon helped us get here. When I think of myself before I began working a program, I think of someone who was scared, angry, anxious, angry and generally not happy in many ways. I felt the...
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yanksfan51
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9
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3284
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I have no idea what to do...
(Preview)
I have just got my daughter to admit she has a drinking problem. She has a 2 1/2 year old baby to look after but id drinking during the day. I am at a loss how to help...
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Misterbroon
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3
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2161
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A successful weekend; enforcing boundaries
(Preview)
Alcoholism is a family disease, and this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see how it had impacted my parents and sister. My grandfather was an alcoholic, although I didn't know him until he was active in AA and moved back to town to make amends to his sons and family. Last Friday, my wife and our thr...
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Skorpi
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4
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2532
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ESH needed after AH's binge
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...
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Lissie
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5
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854
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Self Sabotage
(Preview)
This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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2672
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in limbo...feeling numb
(Preview)
Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...
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newleaf66
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12
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2595
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Newbie here
(Preview)
I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17
.trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965
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Billy1965
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4
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2173
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