Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading June 17 speaks about the Third Step. It points out that when we arrive at the Third Step, we gradually begin to see truths that we never realized possible. The Third Step challenges us to" make a decision", to let go and let God in our affairs. Step Three is a distillation of all the phil...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading emphasizes that recovery is a process rather than an event. In that sense, Step 4 inventory is not a one and done, but perhaps even a daily search that reveals something new each time it is performed. These findings can then be shared with a higher power for help and resolution. Today's...

Jayla · Jayla

Well since I found out the info revealed by HP after I asked him, I have kicked my AH out of our home. I could stay with someone who is sick but not someone who is betraying me. That's a hard boundary for me. What really stinks though is that of course he doesn't seem to care about any of this, and I feel like I'm...

Taraxacum1 · Taraxacum1

My AH has been sober over a year now (though not in a recovery program) and I still fear the future. I've been circling the first three steps and attending meetings sporadically, getting comfortable in the way things are now. But that comfort is pretty superficial. I'm still fearful of the idea that...

pixie · pixie

A couple of weeks ago I posted about the worry I have with "varicies" possibly with my ah. But also I get a week to myself due to a business trip my ah is taking. (he did ask me to go but I'd rather stay home for obvious reasons) Thank you all to those who responded or read my post. Now I have this week to mysel...

Aline · Aline

Hi! I would appreciate your thoughts on the topic of doing the 4th step without a sponsor. I approached a fellow Alanon woman to be my sponsor after the last meeting, but she can't take any more sponsees right now. I'm doing the steps on my own for now, with the help of the step work board here and some other...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detaching with love. Many of us have interfered not only with a loved one's problems but also with their achievements. We may have the best of intentions, but when we take over other people's responsibilities, we rob them of the chance to accomplish something and feel go...

Lyne · Lyne

Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...

Crushed16 · Crushed16

Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...

WestMan · WestMan

I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...

Coasting · Coasting

After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...

WestMan · WestMan

I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...

5TNTsZ · 5TNTsZ

I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading focuses on step two 'came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.' The writer speaks to the idea that for him/her, the word sanity was not comfortable because it was a direct reminder of the INsanity he/she felt from growing up in a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 11 speaks about the slogans and how they can be used in our everyday lives. It offers ideas on my favorite:"Let go and let God". and suggests that this particulars slogan many utilize but may not completely understand the concept behind the statement. The reading poin...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading shares how great it would be if we could add "Sense of Humor" to our grocery list when we're running low. No matter how tough things are, humor can lighten the mood and ease some of the weight of serious challenges. Today's Reminder: Try to look for the brighter side, the funny side of thi...

T84 · T84

Good MorningAs I posted earlier, my AW is in jail again. Her sentencing date is in mid-july. I thought she was going to be in for a long sentence. I was relaxed, sleeping better, etc. She called me a couple of nights ago and said that her lawyer thinks she will be sentenced to time served and getting ou...

Junenine · Junenine

i read my posts and imagine how they sound to someone who doesn't know this man i've loved and held on to for so long. and i know it looks bad (it IS bad). i think... but he's a good person, a good soul, sensitive, loving, etc. the two are not mutually exclusive. but trying to reconcile the two is a bitch. HOWE...

Wednesday · Wednesday

Hi there newbie here, I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I have never seen him drunk. We have never had an argument. In January he was admitted to the hospital after a seizure. He was eventually diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. He nearly died. He is now 60 days sober an...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I think this is off topic b/c my son is not my qualifier. But I am needing some ESH, b/c a lot of Al-Anon tools help me with my actions with all the people in my life. My son just finished his junior year, but is 16, not quite 17 yet. My AH and I have been allowing him more freedoms. Our boundaries regarding part...

el-cee · el-cee

It seems my son has been calling himself a alcoholic. He has no understanding around that in terms of the nature of the disease. He lives with the feelings chaos trouble insanity discomfort obsession it brings but he doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he can do it with will power alone. He stops fo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the freedom we gain in working our program to speak our truth. Many of us come to Al-Anon broken, scared and hurting. We are reluctant to share what's in our hearts and minds for fear of judgement, ridicule or shunning. We come to realize we do have the freedom and choice...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading is about the eight step- "make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". The reading points out that this can be a very daunting or even distressing step to contemplate and suggests beginning with not 1 list but 3 lists..people we ARE willing...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Just wanted to say hello to all of my MIP family. We, my RAH ( well over two years of sobriety now) and I are visiting Alaska for a month. For those who believe it can never happen for you (hubby/wife getting sober, that is), I want to share a few things. In April, just over two years ago, I would have sworn o...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.My family home is in a rural area of C...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

OK, so I know we need to focus on ourselves and not on our Qualifiers, but this is so funny I just had to post! Thursday is my AH's payday, so it's been a rough 2 days. Tonight he was drunk, but not enough to pass out. Just enough to be angry and obnoxious. I basically tried to leave him alone. But at one point h...

Jaybee · Jaybee

Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...

El · El

Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...

a4l · a4l

My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.

WestMan · WestMan

So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...

Mattie · Mattie

I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...

augrads · augrads

Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...

Katiki67 · Katiki67

I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...

Lyne · Lyne

Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...

MissM · MissM

. -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...

LinSC · LinSC

I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...

1breathatatime · 1breathatatime

Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...

Jayla · Jayla

A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...

Lyne · Lyne

One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...

WestMan · WestMan

Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT READING 6-18-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading June 17 speaks about the Third Step. It points out that when we arrive at the Third Step, we gradually begin to see truths that we never realized possible. The Third Step challenges us to" make a decision", to let go and let God in our affairs. Step Three is a distillation of all the phil...	hotrod	6	512	Jun 19, 2017 by MissM
	6/19/17 ODAT (Preview) Today's reading emphasizes that recovery is a process rather than an event. In that sense, Step 4 inventory is not a one and done, but perhaps even a daily search that reveals something new each time it is performed. These findings can then be shared with a higher power for help and resolution. Today's...	Enigmatic	5	397	Jun 19, 2017 by MissM
	My Exit (Preview) Well since I found out the info revealed by HP after I asked him, I have kicked my AH out of our home. I could stay with someone who is sick but not someone who is betraying me. That's a hard boundary for me. What really stinks though is that of course he doesn't seem to care about any of this, and I feel like I'm...	Jayla	10	579	Jun 19, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Fear and recovery (Preview) My AH has been sober over a year now (though not in a recovery program) and I still fear the future. I've been circling the first three steps and attending meetings sporadically, getting comfortable in the way things are now. But that comfort is pretty superficial. I'm still fearful of the idea that...	Taraxacum1	11	695	Jun 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	time alone (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I posted about the worry I have with "varicies" possibly with my ah. But also I get a week to myself due to a business trip my ah is taking. (he did ask me to go but I'd rather stay home for obvious reasons) Thank you all to those who responded or read my post. Now I have this week to mysel...	pixie	4	686	Jun 18, 2017 by Jen61
	4th step without a sponsor (Preview) Hi! I would appreciate your thoughts on the topic of doing the 4th step without a sponsor. I approached a fellow Alanon woman to be my sponsor after the last meeting, but she can't take any more sponsees right now. I'm doing the steps on my own for now, with the help of the step work board here and some other...	Aline	8	766	Jun 18, 2017 by Aline
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses detaching with love. Many of us have interfered not only with a loved one's problems but also with their achievements. We may have the best of intentions, but when we take over other people's responsibilities, we rob them of the chance to accomplish something and feel go...	Iamhere	8	655	Jun 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Working on detachment (Preview) Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...	Lyne	4	835	Jun 18, 2017 by Bo
	From Survival to Recovery (Preview) Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...	Jerry F	5	550	Jun 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Difference? (Preview) It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...	PosiesandPuppies	6	427	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 17/6 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...	MissM	2	416	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Lost, Confused and Devastated (Preview) Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...	Crushed16	8	611	Jun 17, 2017 by Crushed16
	On Line meeting chairs needed (Preview) Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...	hotrod	6	604	Jun 16, 2017 by wp
	A Success Perhaps? (Preview) I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...	WestMan	8	528	Jun 15, 2017 by KT2015
	Back again for another "Is this normal ?" check (Preview) When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...	texas yankee	4	856	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/15/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...	Iamhere	3	456	Jun 15, 2017 by lookingup
	Happy day! (Preview) Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...	Lyne	5	515	Jun 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leave or stay (Preview) After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...	Coasting	6	516	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	6/14/17 ODAT - 12 Steps (Preview) If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...	Enigmatic	5	522	Jun 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Step 8 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...	hotrod	1	423	Jun 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	4th Step. Oh! (Preview) I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...	WestMan	8	520	Jun 13, 2017 by shrnp
	Question about the steps (Preview) I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?	5TNTsZ	6	466	Jun 13, 2017 by Kmt
	Hope for Today June 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading focuses on step two 'came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.' The writer speaks to the idea that for him/her, the word sanity was not comfortable because it was a direct reminder of the INsanity he/she felt from growing up in a...	yanksfan51	4	423	Jun 13, 2017 by Lyne
	ODAT Reading Sunday 6-11-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 11 speaks about the slogans and how they can be used in our everyday lives. It offers ideas on my favorite:"Let go and let God". and suggests that this particulars slogan many utilize but may not completely understand the concept behind the statement. The reading poin...	hotrod	7	563	Jun 13, 2017 by MissM
	6/12/17 ODAT - Sense of Humor, Isle 7 (Preview) Today's reading shares how great it would be if we could add "Sense of Humor" to our grocery list when we're running low. No matter how tough things are, humor can lighten the mood and ease some of the weight of serious challenges. Today's Reminder: Try to look for the brighter side, the funny side of thi...	Enigmatic	9	558	Jun 12, 2017 by MissM
	AW possibly getting out of jail...not ready for that (Preview) Good MorningAs I posted earlier, my AW is in jail again. Her sentencing date is in mid-july. I thought she was going to be in for a long sentence. I was relaxed, sleeping better, etc. She called me a couple of nights ago and said that her lawyer thinks she will be sentenced to time served and getting ou...	T84	6	445	Jun 12, 2017 by shrnp
	one realization re. ACTION (Preview) i read my posts and imagine how they sound to someone who doesn't know this man i've loved and held on to for so long. and i know it looks bad (it IS bad). i think... but he's a good person, a good soul, sensitive, loving, etc. the two are not mutually exclusive. but trying to reconcile the two is a bitch. HOWE...	Junenine	21	2860	Jun 12, 2017 by Junenine
	Blindsided (Preview) Hi there newbie here, I have been married to a high functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I have never seen him drunk. We have never had an argument. In January he was admitted to the hospital after a seizure. He was eventually diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. He nearly died. He is now 60 days sober an...	Wednesday	31	727	Jun 12, 2017 by Bo
	OT? Son pushing boundaries (Preview) I think this is off topic b/c my son is not my qualifier. But I am needing some ESH, b/c a lot of Al-Anon tools help me with my actions with all the people in my life. My son just finished his junior year, but is 16, not quite 17 yet. My AH and I have been allowing him more freedoms. Our boundaries regarding part...	PosiesandPuppies	8	564	Jun 12, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	So sad but hopeful (Preview) It seems my son has been calling himself a alcoholic. He has no understanding around that in terms of the nature of the disease. He lives with the feelings chaos trouble insanity discomfort obsession it brings but he doesn't believe he needs help. He thinks he can do it with will power alone. He stops fo...	el-cee	7	501	Jun 11, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today - 6/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the freedom we gain in working our program to speak our truth. Many of us come to Al-Anon broken, scared and hurting. We are reluctant to share what's in our hearts and minds for fear of judgement, ridicule or shunning. We come to realize we do have the freedom and choice...	Iamhere	9	2457	Jun 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 10/6 (Preview) Today's c2c reading is about the eight step- "make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all". The reading points out that this can be a very daunting or even distressing step to contemplate and suggests beginning with not 1 list but 3 lists..people we ARE willing...	MissM	4	464	Jun 10, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Greetings from Alaska! (Preview) Just wanted to say hello to all of my MIP family. We, my RAH ( well over two years of sobriety now) and I are visiting Alaska for a month. For those who believe it can never happen for you (hubby/wife getting sober, that is), I want to share a few things. In April, just over two years ago, I would have sworn o...	Doingmybest	7	948	Jun 10, 2017 by maryjane
	A very long post on trusting the process... (Preview) I recently had an experience that I would like to share with this group. I shared it with my face2face group and it seemed to resonate with many people and I hope it will have the same effect here online. It is very long, so get a cup of tea and find a comfy spot and read on.My family home is in a rural area of C...	Bethany66	12	881	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Quacking (Preview) OK, so I know we need to focus on ourselves and not on our Qualifiers, but this is so funny I just had to post! Thursday is my AH's payday, so it's been a rough 2 days. Tonight he was drunk, but not enough to pass out. Just enough to be angry and obnoxious. I basically tried to leave him alone. But at one point h...	PosiesandPuppies	1	446	Jun 10, 2017 by Jayla
	Clarification and Suggestions Please (Preview) Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...	Jaybee	9	607	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Physically sober only (Preview) Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...	El	7	474	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Can an alcoholic "forget" they have imbibed? (Preview) Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...	PosiesandPuppies	26	4396	Jun 9, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Feeling happy and drained. (Preview) My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.	a4l	5	451	Jun 9, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Countdown (Preview) So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...	WestMan	11	591	Jun 9, 2017 by KT2015
	Gratitude - In the Most Mysterious Things! (Preview) I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...	Iamhere	17	2515	Jun 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The new chaos, same as the old chaos (Preview) I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...	Mattie	4	494	Jun 8, 2017 by Jill
	Help. New to this group, haven't been to local meeting yet. Feeling lost and sad and anxious. (Preview) Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...	augrads	16	553	Jun 8, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today - 6/8/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...	Iamhere	4	335	Jun 8, 2017 by Lyne
	Trying to identify exact problem with BIL (Preview) Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...	Faintly Falling	11	2392	Jun 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Learning to pause .. (Preview) before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...	SerenityRUS	9	623	Jun 7, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The opposite of frustration... (Preview) I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...	Jerry F	12	3342	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	6/7/17 ODAT – Polite, or Courteous? (Preview) Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...	Enigmatic	6	407	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Scared of son (Preview) I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...	Katiki67	9	986	Jun 7, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	My anniversary (Preview) Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...	Lyne	12	414	Jun 7, 2017 by el-cee
	Nerves rattled at work....need ESH please! (Preview) Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...	Hopefull15	8	466	Jun 6, 2017 by Bethany66
	Hope ForToday June 6 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...	yanksfan51	6	481	Jun 6, 2017 by Stan1
	Oops please delete (Preview) . -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM	MissM	6	817	Jun 6, 2017 by el-cee
	Al-Anon in my daily life- interesting (Preview) Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...	pumkin26	5	366	Jun 6, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Wake up and be present in your life..... (Preview) I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...	LinSC	4	475	Jun 5, 2017 by el-cee
	Jealousy issues, spouses addiction to flirt (Preview) Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...	1breathatatime	11	2791	Jun 5, 2017 by WestMan
	6/5/17 C2C - Turn our Will and our Lives Over... (Preview) Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...	Enigmatic	4	379	Jun 5, 2017 by Stan1
	W.O.W. (Preview) A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...	Jayla	7	906	Jun 5, 2017 by Jayla
	Gratitude (Preview) One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...	Lyne	3	426	Jun 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is that part of the disease? (Preview) Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...	WestMan	9	2259	Jun 5, 2017 by SerenityRUS
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.