Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

T84 · T84

Letting go of the bitterness/anger has been difficult for me. I just started counseling, F2F meetings and this forum. My AW is still in jail and I am not sure for how long--4th DUI/probation violation. She will be sentenced in early July. This is the fourth time in jail, and according to her, she wi...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My husband had a love relationship with alcohol for almost 50 years, beginning in his teens. He never verbally acknowledged alcohol caused any problems despite being stopped and let go by police, arrested, being too drunk to go to the hospital when our children had accidents or serious illnesses,...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page author realized that bitterness directed toward the qualifier was causing great self harm, and as with most things, concluded that there was a choice: Continue to carry bitterness based on blame and resentment, or change perspective and find peace. The author chose the latter, ackno...

Staci · Staci

Hello all. Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to join this group. I am brand new to it. I guess I wil just come out and say that I live with an alcoholic brother and can be very abusive sometimes. Im at the point of having to make moving decisions because of it. I dont want to move away from my elderly mom a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

my dear sister was admitted to hospital last night cancer has spread to her liver and possibly other parts...this is NOT looking good...Thank you program for giving me the ability to reach out to her when I did back 2 years ago or whevenever it was because even tho I hurt like hell now, its better than to n...

Bo · Bo

Sobriety for the alcoholic or drug addict is a simple standard...either you drank or you didn't. Either you used or you didn't. No debate, no discussion, very definitive, black and white, cut and dry. However, when we look at our sickness, our disease, where is the standard of sobriety. Is it an actio...

Kub · Kub

Hello, I've never done anything like this before, but I need some support. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I've been married to my husband for 17 years. He is a major alcoholic. I have so many stories I want to share. I just need to know I came to the right place for a little support. I don't want to feel like I...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Our youngest is marrying this weekend in another city. There will be a big wedding with numerous family and old friends coming from out of town. I am looking forward it. I want to keep my focus on all that is good and joyful. Of course-why else am I on this site?...... there is my AD (who lives 100 miles a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading June 25 speaks about my favorite Step-Step 11. The reading points out that the words of this step are extremely important,:" sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the pow...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have been very busy lately working and taking it one day at a time. My sister passed out 3 weeks ago and her husband took her to the ER. They discovered her large intestines were leaking and have to take out 6 inches of her colon which in turn gave her a colostomy for the rest of her life. She wa...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63689471/alanon-s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My grand-son in law had a birthday celebration today and my grand-daughter made sure I was invited. What's it like to just sit and watch a multi-generational family get together and just have simple, sane fun without a smidgen of alcohol? Its not all about me. I sat and just watched the goings on....

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am going to a discharge planning meeting with my A and her therapist . My A has no concept, no understanding, and no interest, in planning her next helpers after a 6 week intensive day program. She only went because of me. So at this juncture it is up to her , and I think she will relapse rather qui...

Rach32986 · Rach32986

Hi, I'm new to the boards but came for help. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 6 (half my life). We have a 2 year old and a surprise baby on the way due in october. Husband has been dealing with depression and alcohol abuse for a year and a half. He gets destructive in our home (bre...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hi everyone!! Several years back, I had a cousin who was mildly retarded and a lovely fellow and he absolutely worshipped me..I was his sweetheart...His favorite person and all he ever wanted of me was to love him and when I moved out of state, to write him when I could..People said he would run to the mai...

a4l · a4l

I'm grateful grateful for the doors of understanding and keys to action that alanon has given me. My current state of eye rolling rests in thinking that every bs drama can simply be explained as the byproduct of addiction. Its really not that complicated! I know enough now to resist the urge to force i...

el-cee · el-cee

It feels like freedom from despair and it feels like memories can be faced and felt with a new heart. Thinking about my kids when they were wee, how beautiful they were, their soft skin and the innocent faces, wouldn't it be nice to go back just for a moment and tell them I'm sorry for not being the Mother yo...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change is about seeing our successes. It opens with a cute story which I will outline for anyone that doesn't have the reader- a farmer decides to encourage his hens to lay more eggs by playing the flute for them all day long. When he is asked if it was a success, he agrees that is was, be...

Lee51 · Lee51

I'm really struggling with making decisions right now. I started attending meetings twice a week a few months ago, but then a sudden illness has kept me away the past couple weeks. I'm still not 100% recovered and reminding myself that not feeling well is adding to my stress. I'm a year from retirement...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So, yea. Payday. In our house it's "Drunk Thursday." So the next couple of days are hard, but let's talk about ME! LOL! At my place of employment, I can see out a very large bay window. Were talking storefront large. My AH drives a BRIGHT yellow/orange work truck... it is literally impossible to miss. So...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about honesty. Alcoholism, the family disease, brings about denial for almost all affected. To recover, heal and deal with our lives, we need to be truthful with ourselves as we continue to review our own attitudes and actions each day. This honest reflection allows us to be hu...

KT2015 · KT2015

I am not sure what to title this yet because I just need to get it out. My AH was drinking yesterday he came home early from work and started drinking so by the time I got home he must have been intoxicated but I wasn't expecting it and so I didn't notice. Lately he has been trying to curb his drinking and man...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about how we learn to speak from our heart with our focus on self. Many of us come to recovery believing we are angry because of others or we are anxious because of others. We come to realize that when we blame others for how we feel, we give them power over our feelings, power that righ...

thos17 · thos17

After living with my alcoholic wife for 10 years, I moved out of our shared home (rental) two and a half years ago. I initially bounced between sublets and a friend's house for one year, and then moved into my own one-bedroom apartment in Jan 2016. During that time my wife had 7-8 stays in residential t...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My father died today. I spoke with him yesterday and he was looking forward to my visit this weekend for Father's Day. There is a possibility that he had not actively been drinking for a week or two before he died, but the damage had already been done. I'm relieved that he is no longer suffering. I wis...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My daughter turned to me today and said Mom I know the moment I was just done with dad .. and as done I was D was beyond done. It was Father's Day 3 years ago. That was the day my children reached out to their dad and asked him to spend Father's Day with him. He declined stating that his mother was sick and in t...

Sadhana · Sadhana

Hello, I WANT to go to my first f2f meeting but I always come up with excuses for why I can't...such as I don't like the time/day the meeting is at or who's going to take care of things at home if I'm not there or I'm tired/sick I'll go next week...you get the picture. Have I not hit my rock bottom yet? What...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I started this morning bright and early - went to watch the two grand-babies for a while. Both parents started new jobs a couple weeks ago, and they just can't grasp the whole schedules, day-care, etc. so - I was asked and able to be of service. I went to their home as mine is clean for overnight company t...

Aline · Aline

Hi all! Thoughtful today, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'm living on my own now for almost a month, having finally made a boundary with my abf that I'm going to live separately for 3 months, and after that time, if he is living sober and working on maintaining his sobriety, I will move back in. I h...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Step 12 begins "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..." Today's page reassures any with concerns about meditation that it is nothing mysterious or otherworldly but a way to think thoughtfully, contemplatively in quiet moments. This is something we of...

Mattie · Mattie

You all know how it goes. It's a little different for my ex-AH, because he's a binge drinker, so there are periods of calm. He was in one of those for a while, and he moved in with a friend and things seemed to be on an even keel. But then of course everything fell apart. I got word that the friend came home a...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

At my wits end with my 15yr old. Between her funky mood swings and all that goes with having a teen girl and the isims of the family disease I am truly at a lost for what is real and what is just teen BS. Twice today she did what I felt was blaming me for the decisions she makes..." I only did it because you did tha...

Bailey71 · Bailey71

or... accepting what is. So as advised, I have been attending Alanon meetings and taking care of myself.My ex is in her first year and half of recovery - she broke it off with me in a particularly brutal, unilateral way that took me completely by surprise. When people are in pain they cause pain. She sim...

Aerin · Aerin

Just left today. :( Even though abf is still in AA and doing well, he is still very selfish in real life and the things that have been mentally and physically done to me over the past 5 years have never really left me. He seems to forget the hitting me and breaking my ribs. Obviously I am super co-dependan...

Mother of Poodles · Mother of Poodles

My ex fiance and I were together for 5 years, then broke up for a year, then got back together for 6 month, then I finally called it quits. What ended the relationship after all that time and everything he put me through, was that while we broke up for a year (and yes I did date someone else during that time...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I sit here concerned for my sanity. My mom has been running again. I just want to see her & give her a hug. I am grateful that she is in town at least. The reason I am concerned for myself is because I don't know if I can handle any more. I have used tough love until it has made me sick.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading mentions step 9 and the difficulty we might have in making direct amends to people in our lives. The writer speaks of making a list of traits that he/she can be grateful to his/her parents for. The writer easily makes a list attributable to the father, but is stu...

Lyne · Lyne

My spouse is ending a 6 week intensive eating disorder program with a no drinking contract. She was referred to AA but of course didn't go. I felt hope for our marriage for the first time in years. I asked her what her aftercare was going to be, and she said she will see an alcohol counselor 2xmonth, and...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading June 17 speaks about the Third Step. It points out that when we arrive at the Third Step, we gradually begin to see truths that we never realized possible. The Third Step challenges us to" make a decision", to let go and let God in our affairs. Step Three is a distillation of all the phil...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading emphasizes that recovery is a process rather than an event. In that sense, Step 4 inventory is not a one and done, but perhaps even a daily search that reveals something new each time it is performed. These findings can then be shared with a higher power for help and resolution. Today's...

Jayla · Jayla

Well since I found out the info revealed by HP after I asked him, I have kicked my AH out of our home. I could stay with someone who is sick but not someone who is betraying me. That's a hard boundary for me. What really stinks though is that of course he doesn't seem to care about any of this, and I feel like I'm...

Taraxacum1 · Taraxacum1

My AH has been sober over a year now (though not in a recovery program) and I still fear the future. I've been circling the first three steps and attending meetings sporadically, getting comfortable in the way things are now. But that comfort is pretty superficial. I'm still fearful of the idea that...

pixie · pixie

A couple of weeks ago I posted about the worry I have with "varicies" possibly with my ah. But also I get a week to myself due to a business trip my ah is taking. (he did ask me to go but I'd rather stay home for obvious reasons) Thank you all to those who responded or read my post. Now I have this week to mysel...

Aline · Aline

Hi! I would appreciate your thoughts on the topic of doing the 4th step without a sponsor. I approached a fellow Alanon woman to be my sponsor after the last meeting, but she can't take any more sponsees right now. I'm doing the steps on my own for now, with the help of the step work board here and some other...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detaching with love. Many of us have interfered not only with a loved one's problems but also with their achievements. We may have the best of intentions, but when we take over other people's responsibilities, we rob them of the chance to accomplish something and feel go...

Lyne · Lyne

Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...

Crushed16 · Crushed16

Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...

hotrod · hotrod

Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...

WestMan · WestMan

I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...

texas yankee · texas yankee

When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...

Coasting · Coasting

After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...

WestMan · WestMan

I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...

5TNTsZ · 5TNTsZ

I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Unable to let go of bitterness, anger and forgive her (Preview) Letting go of the bitterness/anger has been difficult for me. I just started counseling, F2F meetings and this forum. My AW is still in jail and I am not sure for how long--4th DUI/probation violation. She will be sentenced in early July. This is the fourth time in jail, and according to her, she wi...	T84	11	660	Jun 28, 2017 by Bo
	Very unpleasant to be made the butt of jokes in front of relatives (Preview) My husband had a love relationship with alcohol for almost 50 years, beginning in his teens. He never verbally acknowledged alcohol caused any problems despite being stopped and let go by police, arrested, being too drunk to go to the hospital when our children had accidents or serious illnesses,...	lgnutah	10	681	Jun 28, 2017 by KT2015
	6/26/17 C2C - Bitterness: An Option? (Preview) Today's page author realized that bitterness directed toward the qualifier was causing great self harm, and as with most things, concluded that there was a choice: Continue to carry bitterness based on blame and resentment, or change perspective and find peace. The author chose the latter, ackno...	Enigmatic	6	635	Jun 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hello all. (Preview) Hello all. Thank you for giving me the oppurtunity to join this group. I am brand new to it. I guess I wil just come out and say that I live with an alcoholic brother and can be very abusive sometimes. Im at the point of having to make moving decisions because of it. I dont want to move away from my elderly mom a...	Staci	11	753	Jun 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Now we wait!!!! (Preview) my dear sister was admitted to hospital last night cancer has spread to her liver and possibly other parts...this is NOT looking good...Thank you program for giving me the ability to reach out to her when I did back 2 years ago or whevenever it was because even tho I hurt like hell now, its better than to n...	mamalioness	7	540	Jun 27, 2017 by hotrod
	Emotional detachment and emotional sobriety (Preview) Sobriety for the alcoholic or drug addict is a simple standard...either you drank or you didn't. Either you used or you didn't. No debate, no discussion, very definitive, black and white, cut and dry. However, when we look at our sickness, our disease, where is the standard of sobriety. Is it an actio...	Bo	14	1595	Jun 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Hello I'm new here and I feel like I'm going crazy :( (Preview) Hello, I've never done anything like this before, but I need some support. I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I've been married to my husband for 17 years. He is a major alcoholic. I have so many stories I want to share. I just need to know I came to the right place for a little support. I don't want to feel like I...	Kub	24	663	Jun 27, 2017 by Bo
	Need all the serenity I can get this week (Preview) Our youngest is marrying this weekend in another city. There will be a big wedding with numerous family and old friends coming from out of town. I am looking forward it. I want to keep my focus on all that is good and joyful. Of course-why else am I on this site?...... there is my AD (who lives 100 miles a...	lgnutah	11	656	Jun 27, 2017 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 6-25-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading June 25 speaks about my favorite Step-Step 11. The reading points out that the words of this step are extremely important,:" sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the pow...	hotrod	7	856	Jun 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Update (Preview) Hi Everyone I have been very busy lately working and taking it one day at a time. My sister passed out 3 weeks ago and her husband took her to the ER. They discovered her large intestines were leaking and have to take out 6 inches of her colon which in turn gave her a colostomy for the rest of her life. She wa...	Cathyinaz	11	664	Jun 26, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Step 9 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63689471/alanon-s...	hotrod	0	532	Jun 26, 2017 by hotrod
	To sit and just be...just watch. (Preview) My grand-son in law had a birthday celebration today and my grand-daughter made sure I was invited. What's it like to just sit and watch a multi-generational family get together and just have simple, sane fun without a smidgen of alcohol? Its not all about me. I sat and just watched the goings on....	Jerry F	9	606	Jun 26, 2017 by mamalioness
	Why is acceptance so hard? (Preview) Today I am going to a discharge planning meeting with my A and her therapist . My A has no concept, no understanding, and no interest, in planning her next helpers after a 6 week intensive day program. She only went because of me. So at this juncture it is up to her , and I think she will relapse rather qui...	Lyne	10	776	Jun 25, 2017 by Lyne
	Guilt but know I need to leave (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the boards but came for help. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 6 (half my life). We have a 2 year old and a surprise baby on the way due in october. Husband has been dealing with depression and alcohol abuse for a year and a half. He gets destructive in our home (bre...	Rach32986	9	660	Jun 25, 2017 by Mcat54
	A goodbye I won't miss out on (Preview) Hi everyone!! Several years back, I had a cousin who was mildly retarded and a lovely fellow and he absolutely worshipped me..I was his sweetheart...His favorite person and all he ever wanted of me was to love him and when I moved out of state, to write him when I could..People said he would run to the mai...	mamalioness	10	680	Jun 25, 2017 by mamalioness
	Surely it's not rocket science. (Preview) I'm grateful grateful for the doors of understanding and keys to action that alanon has given me. My current state of eye rolling rests in thinking that every bs drama can simply be explained as the byproduct of addiction. Its really not that complicated! I know enough now to resist the urge to force i...	a4l	5	510	Jun 25, 2017 by lookingup
	What healing feels like (Preview) It feels like freedom from despair and it feels like memories can be faced and felt with a new heart. Thinking about my kids when they were wee, how beautiful they were, their soft skin and the innocent faces, wouldn't it be nice to go back just for a moment and tell them I'm sorry for not being the Mother yo...	el-cee	7	614	Jun 24, 2017 by Jerry F
	Courage To Change 24/6 (Preview) Today's courage to change is about seeing our successes. It opens with a cute story which I will outline for anyone that doesn't have the reader- a farmer decides to encourage his hens to lay more eggs by playing the flute for them all day long. When he is asked if it was a success, he agrees that is was, be...	MissM	5	520	Jun 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	Struggling to Make Decisions (Preview) I'm really struggling with making decisions right now. I started attending meetings twice a week a few months ago, but then a sudden illness has kept me away the past couple weeks. I'm still not 100% recovered and reminding myself that not feeling well is adding to my stress. I'm a year from retirement...	Lee51	6	705	Jun 24, 2017 by Enigmatic
	I'ts "Drunk Thursday," but at least I kept my sanity! (Preview) So, yea. Payday. In our house it's "Drunk Thursday." So the next couple of days are hard, but let's talk about ME! LOL! At my place of employment, I can see out a very large bay window. Were talking storefront large. My AH drives a BRIGHT yellow/orange work truck... it is literally impossible to miss. So...	PosiesandPuppies	7	767	Jun 24, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/23/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about honesty. Alcoholism, the family disease, brings about denial for almost all affected. To recover, heal and deal with our lives, we need to be truthful with ourselves as we continue to review our own attitudes and actions each day. This honest reflection allows us to be hu...	Iamhere	2	480	Jun 24, 2017 by mamalioness
	iritating (Preview) I am not sure what to title this yet because I just need to get it out. My AH was drinking yesterday he came home early from work and started drinking so by the time I got home he must have been intoxicated but I wasn't expecting it and so I didn't notice. Lately he has been trying to curb his drinking and man...	KT2015	8	679	Jun 23, 2017 by KT2015
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/22/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about how we learn to speak from our heart with our focus on self. Many of us come to recovery believing we are angry because of others or we are anxious because of others. We come to realize that when we blame others for how we feel, we give them power over our feelings, power that righ...	Iamhere	8	543	Jun 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Moving forward with my sober wife relationships (Preview) After living with my alcoholic wife for 10 years, I moved out of our shared home (rental) two and a half years ago. I initially bounced between sublets and a friend's house for one year, and then moved into my own one-bedroom apartment in Jan 2016. During that time my wife had 7-8 stays in residential t...	thos17	3	2909	Jun 23, 2017 by Mattie
	End of the Struggle (Preview) My father died today. I spoke with him yesterday and he was looking forward to my visit this weekend for Father's Day. There is a possibility that he had not actively been drinking for a week or two before he died, but the damage had already been done. I'm relieved that he is no longer suffering. I wis...	Mikhail	24	888	Jun 22, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Father's Day (Preview) My daughter turned to me today and said Mom I know the moment I was just done with dad .. and as done I was D was beyond done. It was Father's Day 3 years ago. That was the day my children reached out to their dad and asked him to spend Father's Day with him. He declined stating that his mother was sick and in t...	SerenityRUS	21	1065	Jun 22, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	First meeting expectations (Preview) Hello, I WANT to go to my first f2f meeting but I always come up with excuses for why I can't...such as I don't like the time/day the meeting is at or who's going to take care of things at home if I'm not there or I'm tired/sick I'll go next week...you get the picture. Have I not hit my rock bottom yet? What...	Sadhana	11	538	Jun 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Photos, Memories, Downsizing, Musings.... (Preview) I started this morning bright and early - went to watch the two grand-babies for a while. Both parents started new jobs a couple weeks ago, and they just can't grasp the whole schedules, day-care, etc. so - I was asked and able to be of service. I went to their home as mine is clean for overnight company t...	Iamhere	7	562	Jun 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Detachment and other thoughts detachment detaching focus on me recovery (Preview) Hi all! Thoughtful today, and want to share my thoughts with you. I'm living on my own now for almost a month, having finally made a boundary with my abf that I'm going to live separately for 3 months, and after that time, if he is living sober and working on maintaining his sobriety, I will move back in. I h...	Aline	7	7739	Jun 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	6/21/17 C2C - Meditation (Preview) Step 12 begins "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God..." Today's page reassures any with concerns about meditation that it is nothing mysterious or otherworldly but a way to think thoughtfully, contemplatively in quiet moments. This is something we of...	Enigmatic	10	594	Jun 21, 2017 by hotrod
	The chaos continues (Preview) You all know how it goes. It's a little different for my ex-AH, because he's a binge drinker, so there are periods of calm. He was in one of those for a while, and he moved in with a friend and things seemed to be on an even keel. But then of course everything fell apart. I got word that the friend came home a...	Mattie	8	601	Jun 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Usual teen isims vs family disease... (Preview) At my wits end with my 15yr old. Between her funky mood swings and all that goes with having a teen girl and the isims of the family disease I am truly at a lost for what is real and what is just teen BS. Twice today she did what I felt was blaming me for the decisions she makes..." I only did it because you did tha...	Hopefull15	9	584	Jun 21, 2017 by Hopefull15
	Accepting Reality/Loving What Is (Preview) or... accepting what is. So as advised, I have been attending Alanon meetings and taking care of myself.My ex is in her first year and half of recovery - she broke it off with me in a particularly brutal, unilateral way that took me completely by surprise. When people are in pain they cause pain. She sim...	Bailey71	5	756	Jun 21, 2017 by Junenine
	I Left, I really left (Preview) Just left today. :( Even though abf is still in AA and doing well, he is still very selfish in real life and the things that have been mentally and physically done to me over the past 5 years have never really left me. He seems to forget the hitting me and breaking my ribs. Obviously I am super co-dependan...	Aerin	23	761	Jun 21, 2017 by Junenine
	Still In Love With My Alcoholic Ex (Preview) My ex fiance and I were together for 5 years, then broke up for a year, then got back together for 6 month, then I finally called it quits. What ended the relationship after all that time and everything he put me through, was that while we broke up for a year (and yes I did date someone else during that time...	Mother of Poodles	16	3188	Jun 20, 2017 by Bo
	Prayers for me & my mom. (Preview) Today I sit here concerned for my sanity. My mom has been running again. I just want to see her & give her a hug. I am grateful that she is in town at least. The reason I am concerned for myself is because I don't know if I can handle any more. I have used tough love until it has made me sick.	Hoot Nanny	3	664	Jun 20, 2017 by wp
	Hope for Today June 20 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading mentions step 9 and the difficulty we might have in making direct amends to people in our lives. The writer speaks of making a list of traits that he/she can be grateful to his/her parents for. The writer easily makes a list attributable to the father, but is stu...	yanksfan51	4	566	Jun 20, 2017 by DavidG
	6 weeks of peace (Preview) My spouse is ending a 6 week intensive eating disorder program with a no drinking contract. She was referred to AA but of course didn't go. I felt hope for our marriage for the first time in years. I asked her what her aftercare was going to be, and she said she will see an alcohol counselor 2xmonth, and...	Lyne	3	650	Jun 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT READING 6-18-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading June 17 speaks about the Third Step. It points out that when we arrive at the Third Step, we gradually begin to see truths that we never realized possible. The Third Step challenges us to" make a decision", to let go and let God in our affairs. Step Three is a distillation of all the phil...	hotrod	6	643	Jun 19, 2017 by MissM
	6/19/17 ODAT (Preview) Today's reading emphasizes that recovery is a process rather than an event. In that sense, Step 4 inventory is not a one and done, but perhaps even a daily search that reveals something new each time it is performed. These findings can then be shared with a higher power for help and resolution. Today's...	Enigmatic	5	494	Jun 19, 2017 by MissM
	My Exit (Preview) Well since I found out the info revealed by HP after I asked him, I have kicked my AH out of our home. I could stay with someone who is sick but not someone who is betraying me. That's a hard boundary for me. What really stinks though is that of course he doesn't seem to care about any of this, and I feel like I'm...	Jayla	10	664	Jun 19, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Fear and recovery (Preview) My AH has been sober over a year now (though not in a recovery program) and I still fear the future. I've been circling the first three steps and attending meetings sporadically, getting comfortable in the way things are now. But that comfort is pretty superficial. I'm still fearful of the idea that...	Taraxacum1	11	804	Jun 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	time alone (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I posted about the worry I have with "varicies" possibly with my ah. But also I get a week to myself due to a business trip my ah is taking. (he did ask me to go but I'd rather stay home for obvious reasons) Thank you all to those who responded or read my post. Now I have this week to mysel...	pixie	4	772	Jun 18, 2017 by Jen61
	4th step without a sponsor (Preview) Hi! I would appreciate your thoughts on the topic of doing the 4th step without a sponsor. I approached a fellow Alanon woman to be my sponsor after the last meeting, but she can't take any more sponsees right now. I'm doing the steps on my own for now, with the help of the step work board here and some other...	Aline	8	887	Jun 18, 2017 by Aline
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses detaching with love. Many of us have interfered not only with a loved one's problems but also with their achievements. We may have the best of intentions, but when we take over other people's responsibilities, we rob them of the chance to accomplish something and feel go...	Iamhere	8	752	Jun 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Working on detachment (Preview) Detachment from my A did not come easy for me. It took several years of surviving pain and disappointment repeatedly. My sponsor taught me to have no expectations, and that was very helpful advice. Now I must learn to detach from my son, who could use some Alanon himself but is not open to it. I have b...	Lyne	4	1004	Jun 18, 2017 by Bo
	From Survival to Recovery (Preview) Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and...	Jerry F	5	637	Jun 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Difference? (Preview) It's been a rough 2 days... Lord how I hate paydays. I have begun calling them "Drunk Thursdays," but lately it's more like "Drunk Thursday/Fridays. It was especially fun to wake up this morning and have my AH cheerfully tell me, "Good morning!" Then wonder how come I didn't respond in kind. I mean, I di...	PosiesandPuppies	6	515	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 17/6 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses the fact that when we work a program and start to arm ourselves with al-anon tools, we can find ourselves growing through difficult situations that we might previously have thought were intolerable. But whether we learn to be at peace with an unpleasant situation or find a way o...	MissM	2	513	Jun 17, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Lost, Confused and Devastated (Preview) Hello - I am new to this group. I have been attending meetings since March 3 and just yesterday got a sponsor so I can begin the 12 step process toward healing. I don't even know who I am right now, but I am completely lost and devastated. My h is an alcoholic. We have been together for almost 24 years and marr...	Crushed16	8	731	Jun 17, 2017 by Crushed16
	On Line meeting chairs needed (Preview) Courage has just posted the following request to the Alanon Business Board: Since the website is continuing to run as in previous years, it's time to re-build the meeting chair schedule. Every meeting spot was filled in 2015 and then we let go of it ... and now we need to start from scratch to recruit pe...	hotrod	6	682	Jun 16, 2017 by wp
	A Success Perhaps? (Preview) I brought up something with my AW when I got home today. Something that I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to hear. But, I tried to do it the Al Anon way and not project or expect or hold resentment before the conversation even started. I said what I meant and tried not to say it mean. It was something that in...	WestMan	8	617	Jun 15, 2017 by KT2015
	Back again for another "Is this normal ?" check (Preview) When I wrote, "Is this Normal?", I started chuckling - like ANYTHING is normal with this stuff! Anyway, what I'm wondering is, as we begin to get some measure of serenity in our lives, I understand that it's normal to not agonize about the alcoholic all the time, but is it normal to think less and less of...	texas yankee	4	1014	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	Courage to Change (C2C) 6/15/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about sarcasm and how many of us use this to cut down others. Often, it's habit and we don't readily see how damaging and unhealthy it is as a response or reaction to what is going on around us. Often we feel it justified and 'scoring a hit' when we use it as a response to anger or frus...	Iamhere	3	537	Jun 15, 2017 by lookingup
	Happy day! (Preview) Today I am moving some of my belongings from my home with my A to a condo near my son. I will be living half the week (in another month or so), apart from my A. She is currently working a program and making progress, but as I cannot predict the future nor control it, I have taken steps for ME! This is a huge st...	Lyne	5	645	Jun 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	Leave or stay (Preview) After being married 19 years the drinking has gradually gotten to be a must have stop off after work at a buddies wont answer phone comes in lit no matter how it effects me or my just turned 18 yr old daughter, it continues. Remorse is getting less and less. Living like i'm on a rollercoaster not knowing wh...	Coasting	6	610	Jun 15, 2017 by Bo
	6/14/17 ODAT - 12 Steps (Preview) If medication could be purchased that promised it would change your entire life for the better by delivering powerful and clear insight into practical and spiritual concerns, wipe out guilt and pain of past events, help you face challenges with confidence and calm, and bring you a lasting sense of s...	Enigmatic	5	602	Jun 15, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Step 8 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps Step 8 has been posted to the step Work Board Please share your thoughts..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t636492...	hotrod	1	486	Jun 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	4th Step. Oh! (Preview) I've not started working the steps yet. As I've read and heard them talked about at meetings I have been anxious about the 4th step and what that will be like. This morning I was reading "How Al-Anon Works" and the descriptions of the steps. I had thought the step was basically going to be about making a li...	WestMan	8	619	Jun 13, 2017 by shrnp
	Question about the steps (Preview) I heard from another family member that my sister, who has been sober for fifteen years, had to "start going through the steps all over again". Does this mean that she had a drink? Or are there other reasons why someone in AA might need to go through the steps again?	5TNTsZ	6	532	Jun 13, 2017 by Kmt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.