Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the life changing effects of Alanon. Like the writer, I went to alanon convinced that it would help me fix my life and my alcoholic. I thought I would leave meetings and all of a sudden have the answers. My earliest meetings were filled with frustration...

a4l · a4l

So a casual acquaintance has dropped a visitor to my literal doorstep. Poor kid has a mild intellectual disability plus alcoholism. Quite what I'm supposed to do for and with said kid is beyond me. 29 is not exactly a kid. I'm tempted to call his mother. Gah! Right. Needed to express. He's harmless en...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about our tendency to "react in kind", to different situations that arise. The reading points out that by doing so, we are turning control of our emotions and spiritual being over to another. It suggests that "reacting" in this manner is destructive, andt does not s...

navvik · navvik

Starting a new thread from the one I started. Requesting for shares. Do you feel threatened in your own home by A coming out of rehab? I'm having to try and sell my house (luck if I can .. in time) and run. I fear for my health, sanity, and everything else. And many other big fears. However, I have deep conce...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi. Today I have alot to be grateful for. My life is about to change for the better. I am loosing 200 pounds of dead weight and heart ache. My AH left his phone in the truck and asked me to pick it up and bring it to him tomorrow. So of course I looked in his phone. I know I shouldn't have but I have not trusted him s...

Emily Bronwyn · Emily Bronwyn

I'm new to this online forum; just looking for some support for myself. I have been married to my husband 6 years tomorrow, we have been good friends for over 20 (we met in elementary school) and have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has struggled with addiction (poly-addict, mostly alcohol, weed, synthetic we...

el-cee · el-cee

I will be agreeable - I will try hard to accept that everyone is entitled to think the way they do and have their own opinions and view of life and that just because its different from mine it doesnt mean they are wrong. So, I can say 'you could be right' or 'I hadn't thought of it that way' I dont have to be dete...

navvik · navvik

The A was 100% dependent on me from around 3 years. I have used Al Anon tools and come very far. A in rehab now. I have decided that the best solution is to let the A go. But I am still sick and tired because of the following reasons. 1) A is probably suicidal, cut wrist once (but of course, to catch everyone's...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and wanted to talk. The he is my alcoholic/addict eldest son and I said sure come over because he was going to speak about his progressive awareness of his disease. I'll entertain that and I am honored that he will come visit and can be made to listen. We still have that part of the relationship going...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Step 5 where we admit to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step 5 is a very intimate look at ourselves and allows us added freedom and clarity to continue moving forward in progress towards a better way of life. No matter if we are the sh...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi folks, I'm struggling tonight. My partner has gone on another binge I think, although to be honest I don't know what he's doing. He does this periodically. Phones in sick and takes usually 3 days off work to do his own thing, usually drink. But this is the first time he's not come home. Also he's ta...

MizzB · MizzB

I don't know whether it was his higher power or mine taking over, but yesterday when ABF was in withdrawal, his parents were down and saw exactly how bad he was. Anyway at around 7pm he started to get confused, forgetting where he was. We all decided he needed to go to hospital and his parents took him. I de...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

AH has been guilting me about going to al anon. He says hes not an alcoholic. That im crazy, and I obviously dont know what an alcoholic looks like. I told him Im going because Ive been affected by his drinking but he made me really question myself. I also think he gaslights me. Anyway, on Monday AH brough...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi. I have been reading everyone's posts and find them so helpful. This has been a rough few days. As I shared before I moved out from my home leaving AH at home. He has been telling me for 3 weeks now that he is ready to give up the drugs and alcohol. He wants to come stay with me, the house is rented only till th...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I have so many well meaning friends who have little understanding of life with an active alcoholic. The most common piece of advice I hear is, "You should sit down and talk to him about his drinking and how it affects you". I just nod my head because they don't understand the situation at all. You cann...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses change. We often come to Al-Anon fearful - of others, life, change, the disease, etc. Even though for most of us chaos was a daily event, it was familiar and gave the illusion of 'control'. It was nothing more than that - an illusion. We learn in recovery that we are powerl...

Iamhere · Iamhere

From your sister to another mister, happy birthday to you! I am grateful that you are part of my journey and am wishing you the best day possible! Smile until your cheeks hurt!! (((Hugs)))

totsicle · totsicle

finding its not hard 2 want 2 stay sober but its hard watching him literally kill himself. what kicked my ass into sobriety was the second time he ended up in the hospital with delirium tenebrous. 7\14\2017 was the last drink 4me. had my first aa meeting the very next day. not sure how 2 move forward with h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about gratitude. The author writes about acting on the suggestion of making gratitude lists, and still feeling weighted down by the effects of living with alcoholism. For the author, the important step was beginning to practice gratitude...

joker · joker

I got triggered bad today by the words of the abf. I am very sick, had a bad cold since Sunday and yesterday my asthma started up bad. I hardly slept last night as I had issues breathing all night. By this afternoon, I had to go to see the doctor and he gave me medication to keep my lung open so I can breath and as...

kayS · kayS

Intellectually, I get it - addiction is a disease. In the moment though it's nearly impossible for me to see that my spouses addiction(s) are not a choice or personal attack on myself and our children. I feel like I'm making this so impossibly hard on myself by not figuring out a way to really, truly, ...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Had to go see AH today. I took my name off the title of our Ford Expedition, and I needed to give him the title and let him know he has 5 days to turn this into the he "new" owner. Yesterday I sent DS to the house to finish clearing his room of all the mess/junk/possessions. When he came back, he said that his dad...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I am separated from my AH and, while I still get anxiety about the future, I am generally much happier. My departure triggered his decision to go to detox (a nightmare, he was in the hospital for a month) and then to a 28-day inpatient rehab stay. He gets out tomorrow and my daughter will drive th...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

Hello, this is my very first time here and hoping i can find a little bit of advice or insight. My husband and i have been married for 6 years, total of 11 years in our relationship and we have a 5 year old son My husband has had an problem with alcohol for a little over a year now, he's always drank, as have I, ...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I have this grand niece, daughter of one of my nieces and she refuses to give me her phone number so I pm her on face book, trying, offering I should say my love and support and how we need to "draw together" and share our grief /support, etc., being as how we ALL lost someone very special and huge in our lives...

mamalioness · mamalioness

A question was asked about enabling versus genuine loving support. After sleeping on this, this is what I feel about enabling versus genuine support and loving. It is not helping my qualifier if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, I diminish his capabilities. T...

LexieA · LexieA

We are to detact but the facts are the consequences affect my family. If they get a DUI, the transportation and violation charges are a burden to me. He loses his job. We are robbed. The only truly way to detact is not be married to them. This drug needs to be illegal substance. They is absolutely nothing...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Sorry to be so negative today, and please feel free to delete my post if it's not of the right mindset, but GEEEZZZ, THIS DISEASE NEVER QUITS, DOES IT ??? I've been up and down with this stuff with my now adult son for so many years, and just when I think my son is on the right track (not drinking or using, bett...

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

My AH is out of control. I had surgery on Monday for kidney stones. It didn't go well and have been suffering for 4 days bc of complications. My husband used me as an excuse to stay home from work for 4 days to take care of me and the children. He has only added another mouth to feed and has provided no care for t...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

When AH starts really getting into trouble because of his drinking and I'm detaching, what do I say? Like if he oversleeps for work and when he wakes up I'm in the living room with the kids. When he comes in in a panic asking why didn't I wake him up...what would you say? Those kinds of situations are starti...

joker · joker

i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is no...

Sorst · Sorst

My older adult sibling and qualifier leads an isolated life. At 65, she is 10 years divorced and the entire focus of her life is her out-of-town children who she rarely sees, but talks to almost daily. She does not seem to care at all about making friends. Its hard for me to not cascade into worrying about...

Bo · Bo

I am not limiting my thoughts or my questions to that one simple question, but more to the nothing changes if nothing changes. I went to my usual Saturday morning meeting. It is an great meeting, one of the best in the northern part of our state. People travel, bypass meetings much closer to them, in orde...

Nicoletta · Nicoletta

Hi everyone...I'm brand new to this so please bare with me. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess the beginning is the place? My ex boyfriend got in touch with me a few weeks ago from rehab. We have a complicated history, as I'm sure most do with addicts. Basically, years ago, while he was completing reh...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Going to my 3rd meeting tonight. Active AH still fighting it hard. Came home with 2 six packs and then tried to guilt me in to not going because we were going to go over bills. I said we could do it tomorrow and he came up with 3 more reasons why tonight is not a good night. I just feel like if I tell yall I'm going...

DellaElle · DellaElle

Hi there - I'm a bit of a newbie. I'm the one that posted before about my "I'm partially home bound, what's the best Al-Anon book to start off with since face-to-face meetings are hard to get to?" situation. I decided on "Paths To Recovery", and it just arrived yesterday. :) After my first chat room meeti...

joker · joker

My abf continues to remain sober, by the grace of god! He finally is moving his body and helping me clean the house. He put in hardwood floors in three bedrooms and we are cleaning each room out and reorganizing everything! What a huge job its is but its keeping us both very busy and focused on the task. We w...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

My son had an alcohol problem for years. Refused to get help, refused to do inpatient, etc. Moved away, got a dui, probation for a year. In that year he could not drink or smoke weed. As soon as it was over he was back to smoking weed just like before. He also had social anxiety while living at home throu...

hotrod · hotrod

The O DA T reading for September 19 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism, while attempting to maintain our commitment to our marriage vows. The reading suggests that, attending meetings and using Al-Anon tools, helps to correct our own faults, as well as keeps us from reacting when we a...

serenity47 · serenity47

This disease is maddening and heart wrenching to say the least. My darling daughter has had another slip yesterday that completely caught me off guard. She is currently at home with us as was coming back for a family celebration anyways. She has had a tremendous amount of relationship stress the la...

Shellianna · Shellianna

My daughter who is 20 is with an abusive drug addict he has a warrant for battery on my daughter she denies and defend him but is also isolated and this man has long history of abuse manipulation very evil.. I want to go find where he is without him knowing so cops can know where he is and arrest him on warrant...

pickingmyselfup · pickingmyselfup

Hello I need some suggestions on dealing with a recovering alcoholic's selfish behavior. I am tired of dealing with someone who does whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with whoever they want to do it with. I'm fed up with dealing with someone who is not willing to compromise becaus...

hotrod · hotrod

rn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step one and has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please join in and share your thoughts on this important step.Here'...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka (good morning) Ohana (family) I just took one of my grand-daughters to school. She slept over last night and then showered and prepared to her classes. This beautiful miracle is 17 years old and in college culinary classes and it is so much a blessing to be just a small part of the p...

k2k112 · k2k112

My dad is in day 2 of detox and DTs started within 24 hours. He's been distressed and is in the ICU on sedatives and antibiotics for a spiking fever after aspiration. I would like to know what to expect in the immediate future as well as long-term, if he makes it out of this. He crashed about 24 hours in, b...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Sad that she died. Sad that she was blind and drowned after falling in our pool at night. It was sudden, dramatic, and shocking that way. She was not young, but not how I pictured this. This just happened an hour ago. I am most sad by how sad Chuck is. And I will never forget the way he screamed when we found he...

Lyne · Lyne

Program Works! The reading for today speaks of the progress a person can make by continuing to work the program. The author says that you can gain awareness of what your own issues are, and sometimes looking back allows you to see your positive changes. Over time you will see growth in your life. By...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how worrying, for some of us, has been a way of feeling in control when things around us are out of control. The writer realized in al-anon that there are no gains to worrying over things we cannot change. As with any defect or habit that needs adjusting...

MizzB · MizzB

I'm doing pretty well on the detaching at the moment. He's been coming down this week - the withdrawal is hitting hard. And I"m ignoring it. That's his consequence for his choices. He lost his work laptop and passport - that's his consequence. He will lose his job next week - that's his consequence. He'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about real acceptance of being powerless. This concept is brought to us by Al-Anon recovery yet reaches beyond the Alcohol or the Alcoholic(s) in our lives. The writers shares about sleepless nights and the tossing/turning/fretting over lack of sleep. After bringing th...

el-cee · el-cee

When faced with problems I want to respond in a spiritual way but my mind can become confused. Here are my confused thoughts around spirituality. 1. If my external circumstances don't have the power to hurt me and God is in charge anyway then why would we take any action? I mean wouldn't the action be wor...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Coming here, I was not on good terms with my HP. In fact, I didn't even want to admit that I may even have an HP. I was resentful of my AH, resentful of God, and just all around mad at the world. It took months of me first understanding the disease of alcohol (something that wasn't really accepted here, but so...

Confused Mom · Confused Mom

I am new to AL-ANON, I attended my first meeting this week. Just to advise where I am and why I need AL-ANON.... My son is 37 years old, has two children by two different women, and has always had an alcohol problem. I look back and see that he has had this problem since he was 16.. he was in the Army and after...

hotrod · hotrod

I am going out of town, camping until Friday, so I am posting thoughts on tomorrow's ODAT reading a day early. Please forgive The ODAT reading for September 12, speaks about the dangers of giving advice, . It points out that we must remember that we are limited in helping others as we do not know wh...

thelady · thelady

I have tried to google this but feel I'm the only one. My husband quit drinking last year. I never realized he had a problem. I knew he drank but he was a fun, happy drunk. Since he's been sober, he's more quiet, social anxiety more pronounced, and depressed. He is a wonderful man and great husband and fath...

MizzB · MizzB

So, after I had a positive day, ABF said he has a week to turn round his work performance. Obviously he then goes out drinking after work (I'm assuming but he said he was leaving work 2 hours ago and isn't back yet) and then he messages that he's had his laptop stolen. I'm trying to remain detached. THis is...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discuss the hopelessness and despair many of us suffer as a result of living with alcoholism. Many of us before recovery had our hopes shattered over and over again, and ended up shutting down our feelings and stopped hoping at all. When we work on our recovery, we come to discover a sp...

WestMan · WestMan

I'm really doing a number on myself tonight. Can't sleep and just playing the tapes-of-doom over and over in my head. I used to do a ton of this but have greatly improved since I started regularly attending Al-Anon. I think what's getting me tonight is I've been thinking that our marriage is likely endi...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Still checking in w/the posts each day, but cannot linger due to all the things that need to get accomplished w/a move out. Yes, my son and I moved away from my AH. There have been good days and bad. Kid is loving it! I am in a good headspace as long as I hve limited contact w/AH. If I don't, then I do feel sadnes...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the preciousness of each moment and making the decision to make each moment count. By relying on the AlAnon program, working the 12 steps, and improving their connection to HP, the author is able to stay in the moment and make positive change in that moment...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hope for Today sept 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the life changing effects of Alanon. Like the writer, I went to alanon convinced that it would help me fix my life and my alcoholic. I thought I would leave meetings and all of a sudden have the answers. My earliest meetings were filled with frustration...	yanksfan51	2	675	Sep 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is my HP in need of amusement today? (Preview) So a casual acquaintance has dropped a visitor to my literal doorstep. Poor kid has a mild intellectual disability plus alcoholism. Quite what I'm supposed to do for and with said kid is beyond me. 29 is not exactly a kid. I'm tempted to call his mother. Gah! Right. Needed to express. He's harmless en...	a4l	13	651	Sep 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-23 Reading (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about our tendency to "react in kind", to different situations that arise. The reading points out that by doing so, we are turning control of our emotions and spiritual being over to another. It suggests that "reacting" in this manner is destructive, andt does not s...	hotrod	5	545	Sep 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Anyone feeling threatened by A coming out of Rehab? (Preview) Starting a new thread from the one I started. Requesting for shares. Do you feel threatened in your own home by A coming out of rehab? I'm having to try and sell my house (luck if I can .. in time) and run. I fear for my health, sanity, and everything else. And many other big fears. However, I have deep conce...	navvik	6	620	Sep 23, 2017 by navvik
	The end (Preview) Hi. Today I have alot to be grateful for. My life is about to change for the better. I am loosing 200 pounds of dead weight and heart ache. My AH left his phone in the truck and asked me to pick it up and bring it to him tomorrow. So of course I looked in his phone. I know I shouldn't have but I have not trusted him s...	Flyfree	8	703	Sep 23, 2017 by Maresie
	Relapse after 9 months (Preview) I'm new to this online forum; just looking for some support for myself. I have been married to my husband 6 years tomorrow, we have been good friends for over 20 (we met in elementary school) and have a 2 1/2 year old son. He has struggled with addiction (poly-addict, mostly alcohol, weed, synthetic we...	Emily Bronwyn	9	768	Sep 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	Just for Today (Preview) I will be agreeable - I will try hard to accept that everyone is entitled to think the way they do and have their own opinions and view of life and that just because its different from mine it doesnt mean they are wrong. So, I can say 'you could be right' or 'I hadn't thought of it that way' I dont have to be dete...	el-cee	10	756	Sep 22, 2017 by Maresie25
	My A in rehab again, sick with anxiety as I have decided to leave. A was 100% dependent (Preview) The A was 100% dependent on me from around 3 years. I have used Al Anon tools and come very far. A in rehab now. I have decided that the best solution is to let the A go. But I am still sick and tired because of the following reasons. 1) A is probably suicidal, cut wrist once (but of course, to catch everyone's...	navvik	8	715	Sep 22, 2017 by navvik
	He called last evening (Preview) and wanted to talk. The he is my alcoholic/addict eldest son and I said sure come over because he was going to speak about his progressive awareness of his disease. I'll entertain that and I am honored that he will come visit and can be made to listen. We still have that part of the relationship going...	Jerry F	13	723	Sep 22, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/22/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Step 5 where we admit to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step 5 is a very intimate look at ourselves and allows us added freedom and clarity to continue moving forward in progress towards a better way of life. No matter if we are the sh...	Iamhere	5	517	Sep 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lonely (Preview) Hi folks, I'm struggling tonight. My partner has gone on another binge I think, although to be honest I don't know what he's doing. He does this periodically. Phones in sick and takes usually 3 days off work to do his own thing, usually drink. But this is the first time he's not come home. Also he's ta...	Lil99	7	648	Sep 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	HP takes over (Preview) I don't know whether it was his higher power or mine taking over, but yesterday when ABF was in withdrawal, his parents were down and saw exactly how bad he was. Anyway at around 7pm he started to get confused, forgetting where he was. We all decided he needed to go to hospital and his parents took him. I de...	MizzB	13	729	Sep 21, 2017 by Maresie
	Irritated (Preview) AH has been guilting me about going to al anon. He says hes not an alcoholic. That im crazy, and I obviously dont know what an alcoholic looks like. I told him Im going because Ive been affected by his drinking but he made me really question myself. I also think he gaslights me. Anyway, on Monday AH brough...	Cmag3	11	719	Sep 21, 2017 by Cmag3
	The start of progress (Preview) Hi. I have been reading everyone's posts and find them so helpful. This has been a rough few days. As I shared before I moved out from my home leaving AH at home. He has been telling me for 3 weeks now that he is ready to give up the drugs and alcohol. He wants to come stay with me, the house is rented only till th...	Flyfree	7	808	Sep 21, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I wish we could "talk it out" (Preview) I have so many well meaning friends who have little understanding of life with an active alcoholic. The most common piece of advice I hear is, "You should sit down and talk to him about his drinking and how it affects you". I just nod my head because they don't understand the situation at all. You cann...	Bethany66	9	1223	Sep 21, 2017 by texas yankee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses change. We often come to Al-Anon fearful - of others, life, change, the disease, etc. Even though for most of us chaos was a daily event, it was familiar and gave the illusion of 'control'. It was nothing more than that - an illusion. We learn in recovery that we are powerl...	Iamhere	1	652	Sep 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Happy Happy Birthday Jerry! (Preview) From your sister to another mister, happy birthday to you! I am grateful that you are part of my journey and am wishing you the best day possible! Smile until your cheeks hurt!! (((Hugs)))	Iamhere	21	798	Sep 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	bf alcoholic & i'm 2 months sober (Preview) finding its not hard 2 want 2 stay sober but its hard watching him literally kill himself. what kicked my ass into sobriety was the second time he ended up in the hospital with delirium tenebrous. 7\14\2017 was the last drink 4me. had my first aa meeting the very next day. not sure how 2 move forward with h...	totsicle	6	642	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change - September 20 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about gratitude. The author writes about acting on the suggestion of making gratitude lists, and still feeling weighted down by the effects of living with alcoholism. For the author, the important step was beginning to practice gratitude...	Skorpi	4	1163	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	triggered (Preview) I got triggered bad today by the words of the abf. I am very sick, had a bad cold since Sunday and yesterday my asthma started up bad. I hardly slept last night as I had issues breathing all night. By this afternoon, I had to go to see the doctor and he gave me medication to keep my lung open so I can breath and as...	joker	12	678	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	hard to believe it's a disease (Preview) Intellectually, I get it - addiction is a disease. In the moment though it's nearly impossible for me to see that my spouses addiction(s) are not a choice or personal attack on myself and our children. I feel like I'm making this so impossibly hard on myself by not figuring out a way to really, truly, ...	kayS	16	746	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Happy that I only feel pity... I guess? (Preview) Had to go see AH today. I took my name off the title of our Ford Expedition, and I needed to give him the title and let him know he has 5 days to turn this into the he "new" owner. Yesterday I sent DS to the house to finish clearing his room of all the mess/junk/possessions. When he came back, he said that his dad...	PosiesandPuppies	10	692	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	AH getting out of rehab tomorrow - in need of ESH (Preview) Hi All, I am separated from my AH and, while I still get anxiety about the future, I am generally much happier. My departure triggered his decision to go to detox (a nightmare, he was in the hospital for a month) and then to a 28-day inpatient rehab stay. He gets out tomorrow and my daughter will drive th...	gratefulforafuture	3	573	Sep 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Separated husband currently in rehab, not sure where to go from here. (Preview) Hello, this is my very first time here and hoping i can find a little bit of advice or insight. My husband and i have been married for 6 years, total of 11 years in our relationship and we have a 5 year old son My husband has had an problem with alcohol for a little over a year now, he's always drank, as have I, ...	kimberlyrt	19	1987	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Well THAT sure went "well" (Preview) I have this grand niece, daughter of one of my nieces and she refuses to give me her phone number so I pm her on face book, trying, offering I should say my love and support and how we need to "draw together" and share our grief /support, etc., being as how we ALL lost someone very special and huge in our lives...	mamalioness	8	1040	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	enabling. Is it really helping them?? (Preview) A question was asked about enabling versus genuine loving support. After sleeping on this, this is what I feel about enabling versus genuine support and loving. It is not helping my qualifier if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, I diminish his capabilities. T...	mamalioness	6	663	Sep 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Consequences (Preview) We are to detact but the facts are the consequences affect my family. If they get a DUI, the transportation and violation charges are a burden to me. He loses his job. We are robbed. The only truly way to detact is not be married to them. This drug needs to be illegal substance. They is absolutely nothing...	LexieA	4	629	Sep 20, 2017 by Maresie
	It never ends, does it ?? (Preview) Sorry to be so negative today, and please feel free to delete my post if it's not of the right mindset, but GEEEZZZ, THIS DISEASE NEVER QUITS, DOES IT ??? I've been up and down with this stuff with my now adult son for so many years, and just when I think my son is on the right track (not drinking or using, bett...	texas yankee	7	642	Sep 20, 2017 by texas yankee
	A new low (Preview) My AH is out of control. I had surgery on Monday for kidney stones. It didn't go well and have been suffering for 4 days bc of complications. My husband used me as an excuse to stay home from work for 4 days to take care of me and the children. He has only added another mouth to feed and has provided no care for t...	Isthisreallife	9	1592	Sep 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	How to respond? (Preview) When AH starts really getting into trouble because of his drinking and I'm detaching, what do I say? Like if he oversleeps for work and when he wakes up I'm in the living room with the kids. When he comes in in a panic asking why didn't I wake him up...what would you say? Those kinds of situations are starti...	Cmag3	8	761	Sep 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	want to rip ex apart (Preview) i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is no...	joker	7	742	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	Responsible v. Detached with Love (Preview) My older adult sibling and qualifier leads an isolated life. At 65, she is 10 years divorced and the entire focus of her life is her out-of-town children who she rarely sees, but talks to almost daily. She does not seem to care at all about making friends. Its hard for me to not cascade into worrying about...	Sorst	11	845	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	Nothing changes if nothing changes...what does that mean to you? (Preview) I am not limiting my thoughts or my questions to that one simple question, but more to the nothing changes if nothing changes. I went to my usual Saturday morning meeting. It is an great meeting, one of the best in the northern part of our state. People travel, bypass meetings much closer to them, in orde...	Bo	23	3198	Sep 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	New here...relationship with my 'ex' (Preview) Hi everyone...I'm brand new to this so please bare with me. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess the beginning is the place? My ex boyfriend got in touch with me a few weeks ago from rehab. We have a complicated history, as I'm sure most do with addicts. Basically, years ago, while he was completing reh...	Nicoletta	10	589	Sep 19, 2017 by Nicoletta
	3rd meeting (Preview) Going to my 3rd meeting tonight. Active AH still fighting it hard. Came home with 2 six packs and then tried to guilt me in to not going because we were going to go over bills. I said we could do it tomorrow and he came up with 3 more reasons why tonight is not a good night. I just feel like if I tell yall I'm going...	Cmag3	8	620	Sep 19, 2017 by MizzB
	Thank you to the Al-Anon Chat Room - following some good advice y'all gave. More would be appreciated. (Preview) Hi there - I'm a bit of a newbie. I'm the one that posted before about my "I'm partially home bound, what's the best Al-Anon book to start off with since face-to-face meetings are hard to get to?" situation. I decided on "Paths To Recovery", and it just arrived yesterday. :) After my first chat room meeti...	DellaElle	2	575	Sep 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	working around the house (Preview) My abf continues to remain sober, by the grace of god! He finally is moving his body and helping me clean the house. He put in hardwood floors in three bedrooms and we are cleaning each room out and reorganizing everything! What a huge job its is but its keeping us both very busy and focused on the task. We w...	joker	2	638	Sep 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Weight gain (Preview) My son had an alcohol problem for years. Refused to get help, refused to do inpatient, etc. Moved away, got a dui, probation for a year. In that year he could not drink or smoke weed. As soon as it was over he was back to smoking weed just like before. He also had social anxiety while living at home throu...	hummingbird1094	4	723	Sep 19, 2017 by WestMan
	ODAT Reading 9-19-2017 (Preview) The O DA T reading for September 19 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism, while attempting to maintain our commitment to our marriage vows. The reading suggests that, attending meetings and using Al-Anon tools, helps to correct our own faults, as well as keeps us from reacting when we a...	hotrod	1	525	Sep 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	It just never ends (Preview) This disease is maddening and heart wrenching to say the least. My darling daughter has had another slip yesterday that completely caught me off guard. She is currently at home with us as was coming back for a family celebration anyways. She has had a tremendous amount of relationship stress the la...	serenity47	13	848	Sep 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Seeking Justice and serenity?! (Preview) My daughter who is 20 is with an abusive drug addict he has a warrant for battery on my daughter she denies and defend him but is also isolated and this man has long history of abuse manipulation very evil.. I want to go find where he is without him knowing so cops can know where he is and arrest him on warrant...	Shellianna	8	619	Sep 19, 2017 by Shellianna
	Sober Selfish Behavior (Preview) Hello I need some suggestions on dealing with a recovering alcoholic's selfish behavior. I am tired of dealing with someone who does whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with whoever they want to do it with. I'm fed up with dealing with someone who is not willing to compromise becaus...	pickingmyselfup	16	9695	Sep 19, 2017 by Fergie
	Step Work Board (Preview) rn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step one and has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please join in and share your thoughts on this important step.Here'...	hotrod	3	495	Sep 18, 2017 by hotrod
	What a miracle looks like, sounds like and is.... (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka (good morning) Ohana (family) I just took one of my grand-daughters to school. She slept over last night and then showered and prepared to her classes. This beautiful miracle is 17 years old and in college culinary classes and it is so much a blessing to be just a small part of the p...	Jerry F	8	659	Sep 18, 2017 by a4l
	detox and DTs (Preview) My dad is in day 2 of detox and DTs started within 24 hours. He's been distressed and is in the ICU on sedatives and antibiotics for a spiking fever after aspiration. I would like to know what to expect in the immediate future as well as long-term, if he makes it out of this. He crashed about 24 hours in, b...	k2k112	3	662	Sep 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	My dog died (Preview) Sad that she died. Sad that she was blind and drowned after falling in our pool at night. It was sudden, dramatic, and shocking that way. She was not young, but not how I pictured this. This just happened an hour ago. I am most sad by how sad Chuck is. And I will never forget the way he screamed when we found he...	pinkchip	24	940	Sep 18, 2017 by pinkchip
	C2C, 9/18 (Preview) Program Works! The reading for today speaks of the progress a person can make by continuing to work the program. The author says that you can gain awareness of what your own issues are, and sometimes looking back allows you to see your positive changes. Over time you will see growth in your life. By...	Lyne	2	610	Sep 17, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for today sept 17 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how worrying, for some of us, has been a way of feeling in control when things around us are out of control. The writer realized in al-anon that there are no gains to worrying over things we cannot change. As with any defect or habit that needs adjusting...	yanksfan51	4	668	Sep 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Detaching (Preview) I'm doing pretty well on the detaching at the moment. He's been coming down this week - the withdrawal is hitting hard. And I"m ignoring it. That's his consequence for his choices. He lost his work laptop and passport - that's his consequence. He will lose his job next week - that's his consequence. He'...	MizzB	6	750	Sep 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/15/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about real acceptance of being powerless. This concept is brought to us by Al-Anon recovery yet reaches beyond the Alcohol or the Alcoholic(s) in our lives. The writers shares about sleepless nights and the tossing/turning/fretting over lack of sleep. After bringing th...	Iamhere	5	623	Sep 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Spiritual answers??? (Preview) When faced with problems I want to respond in a spiritual way but my mind can become confused. Here are my confused thoughts around spirituality. 1. If my external circumstances don't have the power to hurt me and God is in charge anyway then why would we take any action? I mean wouldn't the action be wor...	el-cee	13	1649	Sep 15, 2017 by a4l
	A Gift from my HP? (Preview) Coming here, I was not on good terms with my HP. In fact, I didn't even want to admit that I may even have an HP. I was resentful of my AH, resentful of God, and just all around mad at the world. It took months of me first understanding the disease of alcohol (something that wasn't really accepted here, but so...	PosiesandPuppies	8	676	Sep 15, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Giving "Tough Love" (Preview) I am new to AL-ANON, I attended my first meeting this week. Just to advise where I am and why I need AL-ANON.... My son is 37 years old, has two children by two different women, and has always had an alcohol problem. I look back and see that he has had this problem since he was 16.. he was in the Army and after...	Confused Mom	5	1302	Sep 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT reading 9-12-2017 (Preview) I am going out of town, camping until Friday, so I am posting thoughts on tomorrow's ODAT reading a day early. Please forgive The ODAT reading for September 12, speaks about the dangers of giving advice, . It points out that we must remember that we are limited in helping others as we do not know wh...	hotrod	8	3277	Sep 15, 2017 by a4l
	I miss my drinking husband. (Preview) I have tried to google this but feel I'm the only one. My husband quit drinking last year. I never realized he had a problem. I knew he drank but he was a fun, happy drunk. Since he's been sober, he's more quiet, social anxiety more pronounced, and depressed. He is a wonderful man and great husband and fath...	thelady	33	7682	Sep 15, 2017 by milkwood
	Anxiety rising. (Preview) So, after I had a positive day, ABF said he has a week to turn round his work performance. Obviously he then goes out drinking after work (I'm assuming but he said he was leaving work 2 hours ago and isn't back yet) and then he messages that he's had his laptop stolen. I'm trying to remain detached. THis is...	MizzB	9	1344	Sep 14, 2017 by MizzB
	Courage to Change (9/14/17) (Preview) Today's reading discuss the hopelessness and despair many of us suffer as a result of living with alcoholism. Many of us before recovery had our hopes shattered over and over again, and ended up shutting down our feelings and stopped hoping at all. When we work on our recovery, we come to discover a sp...	Iamhere	3	603	Sep 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ruining My Own Peace (Preview) I'm really doing a number on myself tonight. Can't sleep and just playing the tapes-of-doom over and over in my head. I used to do a ton of this but have greatly improved since I started regularly attending Al-Anon. I think what's getting me tonight is I've been thinking that our marriage is likely endi...	WestMan	30	1866	Sep 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Needing ESH on the "I Love You" (Preview) Still checking in w/the posts each day, but cannot linger due to all the things that need to get accomplished w/a move out. Yes, my son and I moved away from my AH. There have been good days and bad. Kid is loving it! I am in a good headspace as long as I hve limited contact w/AH. If I don't, then I do feel sadnes...	PosiesandPuppies	6	3769	Sep 14, 2017 by WestMan
	Courage to Change September 13 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the preciousness of each moment and making the decision to make each moment count. By relying on the AlAnon program, working the 12 steps, and improving their connection to HP, the author is able to stay in the moment and make positive change in that moment...	Skorpi	2	3512	Sep 13, 2017 by _bunny_
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.