Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...

Jayla · Jayla

It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...

joker · joker

Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...

mandymott · mandymott

Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...

Human · Human

I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...

RC_mom · RC_mom

Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...

el-cee · el-cee

Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...

joker · joker

yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...

joker · joker

I have been reading on line all day yesterday and today the message board and it makes me feel stronger and happier. I was able to sleep last night for a few hours and was awoken at 5:30 am to drunkin abf talking to himself and screaming "Demons get out of this house now, I mean now," totally out of his mind. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading talks about THINK. So often, we can get bogged down with dissatisfaction, and lack the ability to see where we are or where we are going. If we take time and THINK, we can realize that negativity keeps our lives at a standstill. Recovery in Al-Anon helps us di...

jessiefred86 · jessiefred86

It will be two more weeks and then he will be out of rehab. These have been the most restful and stress-free weeks of my life this past year. I feel lighter, more productive, happier. I'm so scared about what happens when he gets out. He has no where to go, as he has already exhausted all of his family resour...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am sure I've gotten enough sleep physically yet mentally and emotionally thereafter I have not. I'm yawning and happy and excited I made it to the computer and this family because program family can and will change my perspective, attitude and spirit quickly. MIP is part (big) of my literature a...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So Friday night was my AH's bday. He was passed out and the house smelled of alcohol when I stopped by around 9 am that morning. So I checked on my cats, made sure they were fed & box was clean and left my card. I think I posted that later that day I saw him driving up the street (probably from liquor store a...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the Al-Anon practice of concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. The author shares that, when they first arrived at Al-Anon, they felt that their problems were so unique, that they set them apart from everyone...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi All, The difference between a shortcoming and a defect of character has always felt a bit confusing for me. I'm hoping for es&h about the difference between them. My approach to them has been this way. I see defects of character as behaviors that I'd like to change that can create difficulties f...

Dazcreed · Dazcreed

For the past 2 years, I knew that my wife had a drinking problem... although, I have just recently realised that it is much bigger than that... 2-3 bottles of wine per day. We have been married for 24 years in just under 2 weeks time and have been together for almost 32 years and have three children (Son - 22...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hello all. I am new to alanon, but have been living with the disease of alcoholism my entire life. My step-father, my uncle and both husbands (2) have all been alcoholics. I have done all the begging, pleading, crying and making threats that many of you have done. I have children at home still and 3 gr...

DellaElle · DellaElle

I've heard this concept of detaching with love from Al-Anon for awhile, and seriously, I don't get it

. I used to say "I can detach with anger, but not love", until I realized that when I'm angry at her, I'm reacting, not detaching. Not that it's not ok to feel angry - that's my internal warnin...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

So I think that I've confused detachment with ignoring the behavior. I need help to learn what the difference is. I need scenarios. I feel like ignoring his drinking is giving him the impression that I just don't care anymore. I have a meeting tonight, but I can't wait. This is driving me mad. I can't fin...

WestMan · WestMan

Had a stupid spat with my wife. It ended after she picked up a piece of broken glass from a picture frame and started purposefully cutting herself. I called 911 and she has been taken to the hospital on a 5150 hold. To her this is the ultimate humiliation. She will never forgive me for that. My kids only sa...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 3 speaks about expressing "Compassion" .The reading suggests that defining Compassion is difficult however It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism" compassion" sometimes gets displaced because we become angry, seek revenge , scream and throw th...

Atom · Atom

Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post. My ex, and father of my young child, is an alcoholic. He had a very troublesome childhood and this results in him 'coping' with alcohol. When he drinks, his anger spills out, and I am the target. We split 4 years ago because of the trauma of the alcohol and because of...

glimmer777 · glimmer777

Greetings. I am new here and have been reaching out to as many people as I can. I feel like I've just opened a can of worms. I run an HR consulting company with a business partner. About 9 months ago I noticed my partner behaving oddly. We both work from home, but in the past saw each other several times...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

I separated from my husband four months ago and, like many of us, perhaps I held on too long. He was physically ill from alcoholism at that point, and about to lose his job. Once I left, he did go into detox and then inpatient rehab. I think he took these difficult steps to get me to come back. I can under...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step Two, has been posted to the step work board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63986605/alan...

Lyne · Lyne

Offering Service: The reading for today discusses the benefits of accepting service. It can include having contact with newcomers, setting out literature, making coffee, and chairing a meeting. The writer says it helps her see how far she's come in program . Fellowship and a new way of life all...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today I elected to write about the first section of 'Just for Today'; I will get back to Hope for Today next week.... Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had...

courage101 · courage101

OCTOBER 1, 2017 SUNDAY AFTERNOON AL-ANON MEETING 7PM EST (4PM PACIFIC) TOPIC: Gratitude The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.or...

janaynay · janaynay

Hello, I have been attending Al-Anon for a year and am working the steps. My Alcoholic husband sometimes smells sweet not foul just super sweet. It radiates from his pores, breath, etc. I can smell it in the room after he has been in there. He swears he isn't drinking but has lied to me so much I don't know...

Pageplayer · Pageplayer

My alcoholic wife keeps relapsing every 3-6 months. Now I realize she needs to go to AA regularly and she has had spurts where she stuck with it for a long while.. But I believe the burden she carries is too much for her, even after talking to her sponsor about this and at the tables. The burden she has been c...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 30 speaks about living life one day at a time and suggests ways to use the slogan:"Just for today/"The reading suggests that we can try out new behaviors take a different point of view, just to see what happens. If something is repeatedly causing a problem,we can chang...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So today is my estranged AH's 53rd birthday. I did post earlier in the week b/c I have strange, ambivalent feelings about today. I feel like I should not ignore it, yet I don't want to engage with him b/c he is still drinking. A couple days ago I thought that maybe Kid and I could take him to dinner. Nothing f...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

he said this this morning over coffee. I am going to run to a meeting after work but I could use some ESH from others on this subject. I mean I'm sort of ok with just letting him go, at this point. I am working the program and I know I'll be fine but I worry about my kids. Any perspectives welcome Thanks!

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses what our program suggests when violence and abuse occurs in a family affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon doesn't give specific advice about relationships -- We don't advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual membe...

Lyne · Lyne

Day after day I am using my tools, feeling in control and better, and then yesterday kind of took me down. Family problems due to my A are escalating as holidays approach, and I learned we cannot reunite as a whole group. Thanks to Alanon I am not devastated, and the good news is that I know I will feel bet...

NayNay · NayNay

It has been forever since I have posted, or even been here. . . I haven't attended my local meetings lately because they simply don't fit into my schedule. . . I am good about reading my literature daily, and I keep in touch with a couple member of my group That being said I am so flipping angry I could scream...

roddy · roddy

My boyfriend is an active drug addict, potential dealer and alcoholic. We are very involved with each and I'm very codependent in nature. This morning I woke up to several texts saying he was in the emergency room because he had been beaten up in his apt and had a concussion. I'm assuming based upon t...

maria k · maria k

Hello. Very first post here. My question is: "Should I just count my blessings"? I have been married for 25 years. My husband is what I consider to be a functional alcoholic. He has had the same job for 20+ years, and his drinking has never interfered with his ability to go to work each day. He routinely...

Maresie · Maresie

Lazt.night I Lear ex that an ex.boyfriend of mine died. I found out yet another ex boyfriend.diex Some time last year. Both of them died of cancer. The amazing thing is when I received the news I.went straight into forgiveness. I #let go# I can't say I can do that too often. In fact I would have said t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Letting Go...The writer talks about their idea to state the Serenity Prayer at the start of the meeting being voted down at a business meeting. When her idea was vetoed, she felt her offended price, and then the Al-anon suggestion about 'principles above personalities' pr...

joker · joker

I am still sick with this cold/asthma that is taking a toil on me. I am so exhausted and feeling so miserable, I can not even stand myself. I guess I just want someone to love me as I go through this sickness and validate me and hold me and just assure I will get through this. I am tired so tired of being strong,...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about living one day at a time. The author shares that they often with for infinite wisdom, to know what is coming, so they can know with confidence how to spend each moment of their lives. But then, they worry that they would spend their life running away from pai...

Witchfinder · Witchfinder

Hey guys, My first post on this forum but I'm not new to AA or Alanon. My partner's alcoholism first showed its thirsty little face about ten years ago, when we both decided to get off the drink and get healthy. I could, she couldn't. Since then it has been a rollercoaster of sobriety and not. During that t...

nicerat13 · nicerat13

I'm new here but really need to find a place that I can just let this all go. I've been dating my AGF for about 2 years. There has been many ups and downs to say the least... Last October we took a break from each other. During that time she started talking to another guy. It was difficult when we came back toge...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

This last 9 months have been a nightmare. We don't live together, share finances or children. It would be so easy to let this go. Yet, it's not. We are still a couple because we wanted to be not because we had to be. He's a mess. He hates me "his words" and wants me to close this chapter of this book and I'm ha...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I had a tough week last week. Went through to the weekend. Maybe I can get some ESH from the forum... Firstly, mid-week my AH's sister (who has become the "spokesperson" for his side of the family, and the "keeper" of his 401K from his last job) told me that they all seem to notice that when my son and I hav...

WestMan · WestMan

So I got a sponsor a few weeks ago. Started working on the first step. I understand it takes time but I find myself annoyed at how vague a lot of this stuff is. I hear and see comments here and in meetings to the effect of "you'll know when you know." or "trust your HP". SHEESH come on. I know there is a reason so...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

he screwed up big time and hurt me in a way I've never experienced before. It's been 5 months and he told me last night to F off after I questioned something new I heard. He says I'm mentally ill and should be over it by now. That I'm crazy and acting deranged. Is it tiCal to shift the attention to me? To...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 26 speaks about the founder of Al-Anon, Lois and how she felt about certain words and life itself. The reading points out that Lois indicated that after looking deeply at herself she could identify that "smugness" was the very worst defect of all, because it is di...

DavidG · DavidG

Kia ora koutou... greetings to all... I am planning a weekend trip to the city. Normally leaving home fills me with dread. I have people to see and things to do today. I first went to the city 50 years ago- spent the first three or four years wandering aimlessly. In the end the authorities sent me out to wor...

Hesaysishouldbeoverit · Hesaysishouldbeoverit

He won't see this because he blocked me and wants to never hear from me again. "I hope you have me blocked. I need to say this but I don't really want you to hear it. I hope you know my pain is tiring. I will work hard to recover from you and what you've done. It is my priority. I have choices here, all...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

hi MIP family. Recently I've become better at focusing on myself and it's hit me like a ton of bricks: I've had my head down working and caring for kids for the last 15 years. It's only recently that I even consciously realized I am married to an AH. So, go through some of that shock and grief anger etc abo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Went to court to file papers today (Preview) So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...	PosiesandPuppies	12	2248	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	STILL Struggling with Guilt (Preview) It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...	Jayla	5	1863	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Oct 8 (Preview) Hello Everyone: Today'a reading is about how those of us who have grown up in or lived in alcoholic homes may adjust emotionally to the chaos by clinging to extremes in terms of our emotions. The writer mentions that having grown up in an A home, he/she didn't know if the day would be verbal/emotional a...	yanksfan51	4	442	Oct 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feel like Iâ€™m still stuck on the circle (Preview) Up late again what happened to me letting it lie itâs boiled up and now Iâve just blown again AH making promises to change giving me hope heâs gone cold past couple of days towards me I sensed in my gut he was going to relapse did I drive him to it he left earlier tonight and I knew he was going to go out For a few d...	Jlilley	3	469	Oct 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Dealing with their anger (Preview) My AS is truly angry with my husband and I, and with his brother. We have been living our lives and leaving him alone, so now he feels abandoned like "he doesn't exist" anymore. So yesterday while everyone was at work he destroyed all the family pictures he could find, including those in my bedroom and th...	LKSG8R	6	2807	Oct 8, 2017 by Maresie
	Interesting article to review (Preview) Understanding the Insanity of Alcoholism: How the Alcoholic ThinksThe Insanity of AlcoholismSadly, well intentioned folks try to protect the alcoholic from him/herself (enabling) or try to predict what they will do next (no crystal ball available). There are hundreds of wise sayings amongst a...	joker	4	2559	Oct 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	sticky situation (Preview) Hi. Sorry to barge in here but I really feel like there is nowhere to talk about this. My boyfriend is food addict and media addict. His food is mostly under control but I feel he is constantly judging me because I am not super thin. I am happy with myself and my body and I am far from obese. I am also not tiny. H...	mandymott	8	929	Oct 7, 2017 by mandymott
	ODAT Reading 10-7-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 7 speaks about how we felt before entering the rooms of Al-Anon and points out the changes that occur once we start practicing the program. The reading suggests that we come into program angry and fearful and walking around in the dark .After a few meetings we learn tha...	hotrod	1	1419	Oct 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Odd man out (Preview) I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for more than ten years and this has happened to me many times before but tonight, it REALLY got under my skin and I don't know why. As the discussion topic moved around the room, several people shared for inordinately long for the number of people present (17), des...	Human	9	2362	Oct 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Mom/Wife who needs advice for alcoholic husband please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new to this board but I am certainly not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband has been drinking for years. His choice of drink is beer. He doesnt drink a tremendous amount but he does drink nearly every day. The weekends are the worst. He has not become physically violent to...	RC_mom	17	4699	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Am I part of the problem? (Preview) I feel like this is a vicious circle where I use my tools, deal with what comes my way with my AH and then things settle down and I get lulled in to thinking I can stay and I can deal with this life. Then I feel blindsided and I feel like I drop my tool box and everything gets scattered and lost. I have to stop an...	Bethany66	2	1608	Oct 6, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/6/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about continued growth and change in Al-Anon recovery. I love today's reminder --- There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me. This simple, yet powerful reminder helps me understand how recovery gives us...	Iamhere	1	404	Oct 6, 2017 by hotrod
	View of alcoholics (Preview) Before Alanon I thought the alcoholic in my life was a bad person with no morals who wanted to destroy my life and that of our family. This belief hurt me!!! It made me angry, bitter resentful, fearful. It became a concrete belief and left me a disturbed person with a miserable outlook on life who trusted...	el-cee	5	2066	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	lots of feelings, what to do with them (Preview) I am a nurse and work nights. I have to work tonight. Night number 3. I am awake and missing sleep because of the thoughts that bother me about ah and drinking. I can't even sleep and escape the harassment. I worry that I cannot walk this walk forever. Today is a tough day and not sure why. I have to pr...	mamakat71	5	2123	Oct 5, 2017 by mamakat71
	a on bender (Preview) yes, the madness has started again. The abf has started on another bender. He was drunk for 4 days straight. He would do work around the house and drink all day/night. It was brutal. Yesterday, he was deadly sick since he has not had a drink since Sunday. He is now drinking again this afternoon. He says he...	joker	3	585	Oct 5, 2017 by Maresie
	left for my sanity (Preview) I have been reading on line all day yesterday and today the message board and it makes me feel stronger and happier. I was able to sleep last night for a few hours and was awoken at 5:30 am to drunkin abf talking to himself and screaming "Demons get out of this house now, I mean now," totally out of his mind. I...	joker	5	2266	Oct 5, 2017 by mandymott
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/5/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading talks about THINK. So often, we can get bogged down with dissatisfaction, and lack the ability to see where we are or where we are going. If we take time and THINK, we can realize that negativity keeps our lives at a standstill. Recovery in Al-Anon helps us di...	Iamhere	1	432	Oct 5, 2017 by hotrod
	2 weeks until he gets out of rehab (Preview) It will be two more weeks and then he will be out of rehab. These have been the most restful and stress-free weeks of my life this past year. I feel lighter, more productive, happier. I'm so scared about what happens when he gets out. He has no where to go, as he has already exhausted all of his family resour...	jessiefred86	5	2381	Oct 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Slowly freeing myself (Preview) So now that we've agreed to divorce, AH and I are actually communicating better than we did as a 'married' couple. We've been having peaceful conversations about what we hope to accomplish in mediation (only talking when he hasn't been drinking). The thing I feel weird about is that he doesn't seem...	BethBethBeth	4	1810	Oct 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	Amazing Grace... (Preview) I am sure I've gotten enough sleep physically yet mentally and emotionally thereafter I have not. I'm yawning and happy and excited I made it to the computer and this family because program family can and will change my perspective, attitude and spirit quickly. MIP is part (big) of my literature a...	Jerry F	3	2371	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	I can't seem to escape the drama! (Preview) So Friday night was my AH's bday. He was passed out and the house smelled of alcohol when I stopped by around 9 am that morning. So I checked on my cats, made sure they were fed & box was clean and left my card. I think I posted that later that day I saw him driving up the street (probably from liquor store a...	PosiesandPuppies	8	2622	Oct 4, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change October 4 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the Al-Anon practice of concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. The author shares that, when they first arrived at Al-Anon, they felt that their problems were so unique, that they set them apart from everyone...	Skorpi	4	2415	Oct 4, 2017 by mamakat71
	Shortcomings vs Defects of Character (Preview) Hi All, The difference between a shortcoming and a defect of character has always felt a bit confusing for me. I'm hoping for es&h about the difference between them. My approach to them has been this way. I see defects of character as behaviors that I'd like to change that can create difficulties f...	tiredtonite	11	6189	Oct 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	I have just learned that I have an AW (Preview) For the past 2 years, I knew that my wife had a drinking problem... although, I have just recently realised that it is much bigger than that... 2-3 bottles of wine per day. We have been married for 24 years in just under 2 weeks time and have been together for almost 32 years and have three children (Son - 22...	Dazcreed	9	3027	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	crossroads (Preview) Hello all. I am new to alanon, but have been living with the disease of alcoholism my entire life. My step-father, my uncle and both husbands (2) have all been alcoholics. I have done all the begging, pleading, crying and making threats that many of you have done. I have children at home still and 3 gr...	mamakat71	4	2364	Oct 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	I think I just got a glimpse of what "Detaching with Love" looks like? (Preview) I've heard this concept of detaching with love from Al-Anon for awhile, and seriously, I don't get it . I used to say "I can detach with anger, but not love", until I realized that when I'm angry at her, I'm reacting, not detaching. Not that it's not ok to feel angry - that's my internal warnin...	DellaElle	11	3649	Oct 4, 2017 by Junenine
	Detach vs ignore (Preview) So I think that I've confused detachment with ignoring the behavior. I need help to learn what the difference is. I need scenarios. I feel like ignoring his drinking is giving him the impression that I just don't care anymore. I have a meeting tonight, but I can't wait. This is driving me mad. I can't fin...	Cmag3	9	2881	Oct 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Help (Preview) Had a stupid spat with my wife. It ended after she picked up a piece of broken glass from a picture frame and started purposefully cutting herself. I called 911 and she has been taken to the hospital on a 5150 hold. To her this is the ultimate humiliation. She will never forgive me for that. My kids only sa...	WestMan	34	3478	Oct 3, 2017 by mamakat71
	C2C Reading 10-3-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 3 speaks about expressing "Compassion" .The reading suggests that defining Compassion is difficult however It points out that living with the disease of alcoholism" compassion" sometimes gets displaced because we become angry, seek revenge , scream and throw th...	hotrod	6	1347	Oct 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Estranged ex keeps bingeing and making abusive phone calls (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. This is my first post. My ex, and father of my young child, is an alcoholic. He had a very troublesome childhood and this results in him 'coping' with alcohol. When he drinks, his anger spills out, and I am the target. We split 4 years ago because of the trauma of the alcohol and because of...	Atom	23	2406	Oct 3, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I opened a can of worms.. (Preview) Greetings. I am new here and have been reaching out to as many people as I can. I feel like I've just opened a can of worms. I run an HR consulting company with a business partner. About 9 months ago I noticed my partner behaving oddly. We both work from home, but in the past saw each other several times...	glimmer777	4	1985	Oct 2, 2017 by Jerry F
	Feeling trapped by my AH's threats of suicide (Preview) I separated from my husband four months ago and, like many of us, perhaps I held on too long. He was physically ill from alcoholism at that point, and about to lose his job. Once I left, he did go into detox and then inpatient rehab. I think he took these difficult steps to get me to come back. I can under...	gratefulforafuture	8	2301	Oct 2, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step 2 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step Two, has been posted to the step work board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63986605/alan...	hotrod	1	1813	Oct 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C, 10/2 (Preview) Offering Service: The reading for today discusses the benefits of accepting service. It can include having contact with newcomers, setting out literature, making coffee, and chairing a meeting. The writer says it helps her see how far she's come in program . Fellowship and a new way of life all...	Lyne	3	2219	Oct 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just for Today Oct 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today I elected to write about the first section of 'Just for Today'; I will get back to Hope for Today next week.... Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had...	yanksfan51	5	2366	Oct 1, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	SUNDAY AFTERNOON AL-ANON MEETING IN PROGRESS! 7PM EST (4PM PACIFIC) TOPIC: Gratitude (Preview) OCTOBER 1, 2017 SUNDAY AFTERNOON AL-ANON MEETING 7PM EST (4PM PACIFIC) TOPIC: Gratitude The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.or...	courage101	1	2264	Oct 1, 2017 by hotrod
	Sweet Smell From Body (Preview) Hello, I have been attending Al-Anon for a year and am working the steps. My Alcoholic husband sometimes smells sweet not foul just super sweet. It radiates from his pores, breath, etc. I can smell it in the room after he has been in there. He swears he isn't drinking but has lied to me so much I don't know...	janaynay	6	2227	Oct 1, 2017 by WestMan
	Wife keeps relapsing (Preview) My alcoholic wife keeps relapsing every 3-6 months. Now I realize she needs to go to AA regularly and she has had spurts where she stuck with it for a long while.. But I believe the burden she carries is too much for her, even after talking to her sponsor about this and at the tables. The burden she has been c...	Pageplayer	9	2734	Oct 1, 2017 by pinkchip
	C2C reading 9-30-2017 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 30 speaks about living life one day at a time and suggests ways to use the slogan:"Just for today/"The reading suggests that we can try out new behaviors take a different point of view, just to see what happens. If something is repeatedly causing a problem,we can chang...	hotrod	5	2117	Sep 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today is my AH's B-day and I have ambivalent feelings (Preview) So today is my estranged AH's 53rd birthday. I did post earlier in the week b/c I have strange, ambivalent feelings about today. I feel like I should not ignore it, yet I don't want to engage with him b/c he is still drinking. A couple days ago I thought that maybe Kid and I could take him to dinner. Nothing f...	PosiesandPuppies	9	999	Sep 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	My AH says he wants a divorce (Preview) he said this this morning over coffee. I am going to run to a meeting after work but I could use some ESH from others on this subject. I mean I'm sort of ok with just letting him go, at this point. I am working the program and I know I'll be fine but I worry about my kids. Any perspectives welcome Thanks!	BethBethBeth	11	1635	Sep 29, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/29/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses what our program suggests when violence and abuse occurs in a family affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon doesn't give specific advice about relationships -- We don't advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual membe...	Iamhere	4	2133	Sep 29, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sad today (Preview) Day after day I am using my tools, feeling in control and better, and then yesterday kind of took me down. Family problems due to my A are escalating as holidays approach, and I learned we cannot reunite as a whole group. Thanks to Alanon I am not devastated, and the good news is that I know I will feel bet...	Lyne	8	1019	Sep 29, 2017 by Lyne
	Angry (Preview) It has been forever since I have posted, or even been here. . . I haven't attended my local meetings lately because they simply don't fit into my schedule. . . I am good about reading my literature daily, and I keep in touch with a couple member of my group That being said I am so flipping angry I could scream...	NayNay	4	2445	Sep 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	Need help with a drug addict (Preview) My boyfriend is an active drug addict, potential dealer and alcoholic. We are very involved with each and I'm very codependent in nature. This morning I woke up to several texts saying he was in the emergency room because he had been beaten up in his apt and had a concussion. I'm assuming based upon t...	roddy	9	1707	Sep 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	Married to a functional alcoholic (Preview) Hello. Very first post here. My question is: "Should I just count my blessings"? I have been married for 25 years. My husband is what I consider to be a functional alcoholic. He has had the same job for 20+ years, and his drinking has never interfered with his ability to go to work each day. He routinely...	maria k	9	510	Sep 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Letting go (Preview) Lazt.night I Lear ex that an ex.boyfriend of mine died. I found out yet another ex boyfriend.diex Some time last year. Both of them died of cancer. The amazing thing is when I received the news I.went straight into forgiveness. I #let go# I can't say I can do that too often. In fact I would have said t...	Maresie	3	453	Sep 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/28/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about Letting Go...The writer talks about their idea to state the Serenity Prayer at the start of the meeting being voted down at a business meeting. When her idea was vetoed, she felt her offended price, and then the Al-anon suggestion about 'principles above personalities' pr...	Iamhere	4	439	Sep 28, 2017 by Skorpi
	not well still (Preview) I am still sick with this cold/asthma that is taking a toil on me. I am so exhausted and feeling so miserable, I can not even stand myself. I guess I just want someone to love me as I go through this sickness and validate me and hold me and just assure I will get through this. I am tired so tired of being strong,...	joker	8	459	Sep 28, 2017 by Skorpi
	Courage to Change September 27 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about living one day at a time. The author shares that they often with for infinite wisdom, to know what is coming, so they can know with confidence how to spend each moment of their lives. But then, they worry that they would spend their life running away from pai...	Skorpi	5	893	Sep 28, 2017 by Stan1
	When is 'enough enough'? (Preview) Hey guys, My first post on this forum but I'm not new to AA or Alanon. My partner's alcoholism first showed its thirsty little face about ten years ago, when we both decided to get off the drink and get healthy. I could, she couldn't. Since then it has been a rollercoaster of sobriety and not. During that t...	Witchfinder	28	900	Sep 27, 2017 by Jayla
	Feeling crazy & lost of trust (Preview) I'm new here but really need to find a place that I can just let this all go. I've been dating my AGF for about 2 years. There has been many ups and downs to say the least... Last October we took a break from each other. During that time she started talking to another guy. It was difficult when we came back toge...	nicerat13	7	616	Sep 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why do I want him to want me? (Preview) This last 9 months have been a nightmare. We don't live together, share finances or children. It would be so easy to let this go. Yet, it's not. We are still a couple because we wanted to be not because we had to be. He's a mess. He hates me "his words" and wants me to close this chapter of this book and I'm ha...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	9	548	Sep 27, 2017 by Skorpi
	Crazy days (long) (Preview) So I had a tough week last week. Went through to the weekend. Maybe I can get some ESH from the forum... Firstly, mid-week my AH's sister (who has become the "spokesperson" for his side of the family, and the "keeper" of his 401K from his last job) told me that they all seem to notice that when my son and I hav...	PosiesandPuppies	7	472	Sep 27, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The Step One Blues and other things. (Preview) So I got a sponsor a few weeks ago. Started working on the first step. I understand it takes time but I find myself annoyed at how vague a lot of this stuff is. I hear and see comments here and in meetings to the effect of "you'll know when you know." or "trust your HP". SHEESH come on. I know there is a reason so...	WestMan	6	544	Sep 26, 2017 by Maresie25
	Is this typical? (Preview) he screwed up big time and hurt me in a way I've never experienced before. It's been 5 months and he told me last night to F off after I questioned something new I heard. He says I'm mentally ill and should be over it by now. That I'm crazy and acting deranged. Is it tiCal to shift the attention to me? To...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	10	595	Sep 26, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 9-26 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 26 speaks about the founder of Al-Anon, Lois and how she felt about certain words and life itself. The reading points out that Lois indicated that after looking deeply at herself she could identify that "smugness" was the very worst defect of all, because it is di...	hotrod	5	464	Sep 26, 2017 by Maresie25
	First things first... (Preview) Kia ora koutou... greetings to all... I am planning a weekend trip to the city. Normally leaving home fills me with dread. I have people to see and things to do today. I first went to the city 50 years ago- spent the first three or four years wandering aimlessly. In the end the authorities sent me out to wor...	DavidG	4	535	Sep 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	My apology to my ex abf (Preview) He won't see this because he blocked me and wants to never hear from me again. "I hope you have me blocked. I need to say this but I don't really want you to hear it. I hope you know my pain is tiring. I will work hard to recover from you and what you've done. It is my priority. I have choices here, all...	Hesaysishouldbeoverit	2	397	Sep 26, 2017 by Skorpi
	Figuring out who you are (Preview) hi MIP family. Recently I've become better at focusing on myself and it's hit me like a ton of bricks: I've had my head down working and caring for kids for the last 15 years. It's only recently that I even consciously realized I am married to an AH. So, go through some of that shock and grief anger etc abo...	BethBethBeth	11	575	Sep 26, 2017 by LinSC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.