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A share re ACOA Characteristics
(Preview)
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Adult children of alcoholics judg...
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Phil
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2
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957
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Rules and traditions
(Preview)
I know I am somewhat new to all of this but there are certain things I do not understand.. Our program seems to me to be set up and formated by the acknowledgement of a HIGER POWER and in alot of our steps they use the termanology Let go and let GOD...Turn our will and our life over to the power of GOD..admitte...
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Smeep61
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5
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1439
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help
(Preview)
I need help. I have made a life with someone who has turned into an alcoholic. This person goes to AA, but continues to drink- has a sponser- but it makes no difference. I am so depressed, lonely, frustrated, and tired I can't stand myself. We own a nice house together,...
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page
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10
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1108
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Unconditional Love
(Preview)
Love without condition "I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."
Unconditional love is enlarging the self, and...
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Phil
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3
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1061
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understanding the steps
(Preview)
has anyone ever seen or read the steps explained? I have a copy from a naranon site in my town and wondering if it is ok to post them to help others as it has helpped me?
JJ
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jj
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2
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1049
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Road of Self discovery
(Preview)
So as I am walking down the road of self discovery i have gone back and taken a real look into the past trying to find out when I lost touch with ME. So i have summed it up to when I had my son, all of a sudden I was left out of the circle and what became our social life was now his and only...
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jj
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4
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796
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just a blab
(Preview)
I had not seen a for a couple months plus. Decided to go over to his moms. It went fine. I gave her some Pictures I had promised her.
A came in, acted just fine. We went outside and had a nice talk. He is living in her garage. today he came out and he is going to do some stuff around here. fine with me.
It i...
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debilyn
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5
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950
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Rich and His family
(Preview)
I hate to sound like I'm whining, but Rich is home after 4 days in Detox. He called me this morning and said he was being discharged, would I come pick him up? Of course I did. Rich is 39 years old and I feel old enough to make his own decisions.
His 3 sisters feel differently. Th...
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esoro2004
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4
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970
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Forgiveness
(Preview)
Here's a process that should take a lifetime. Actually, I'll probably have to come back a few times to complete it. Just how am I to forgive myself for the ravage I've caused in so many people's lives? How do I forgive and forget placing myself above everyone else? How can the hurts of life that s...
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Phil
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2
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835
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JOHN,,,,Emailed you/ need reply
(Preview)
Hello John,
I emailed you and I know you are busy so I sent it again today so it would be easier for you than finding it in the pile. I am waiting for a reply since I feel what I had to say is important. TY cdb
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cdb
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4
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1004
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OP/JOHN & ALL, A solution to the problem..
(Preview)
Hello fellow members,
I have an idea that would help the problem that has been addressed in my post below about ignoring other members and when new people or others come in for immediate help. Please respond with other ideas or let or let the owner/John know if you think this would work.
For years I h...
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cdb
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7
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1058
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Taking Others Inventory
(Preview)
There have been several times when I have found myself getting annoyed by something someone might have said, or being drawn into a difference that two (or more) people are having amongst themself. I realized the other day that I was doing the same thing I did with my sister and my mom, trying to be...
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kismetstrand
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6
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1281
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getting questions answered
(Preview)
Hi everyone-
I am really just looking for some voices of experience to give me a bit of advice. It is hard to find answers sometimes (I do appreciate the wisdom of the slogans though)
My H is a pot smoker who uses A as a supplement when the marijuana is not enough. lovely.He has been in counselling the p...
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gknee
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7
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1200
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the things kids say
(Preview)
On a lighter note to cheer up some of us.
Tonight my daughter was talking to her grandpa on the phone he was asking her what she had for supper, having trouble saying spaghetti she "uuuggg hold on I will show you grandpa" proceeds to the kitchen and shows the phone to the left over spaghetti on the stove....
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jj
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5
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998
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The Daffodil Principle
(Preview)
I was given this by an alanon friend early in my program, it really helped me to understand ........ One Day At A Time
THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-...
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greta
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8
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1155
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Made a break through
(Preview)
Monday night my A and I made a break through. I've been reading my ODAT book and pasting little sayings around the house to remind myself how to react when things got tough.
Well, it all started with me asking him for a separation for a while. I told him I still loved him but didn't like who he becomes when...
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debalina36
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4
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989
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Rich and Recovery
(Preview)
My partner has just gone into a detox/rehab to get the help he so very badly needs. And I'm very happy for him, yet afraid that when he comes out that he will not want to be with me anymore. We abused alcohol together for awhile, and then I went into recovery. He has told me many times he l...
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esoro2004
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4
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1054
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Ignoring other members
(Preview)
Hello fellow members,
We don't come here because we are happy or painfree. We came here for the opposite reason. We all need support and undestanding. That is why it is important for all of us to show compassion for others even though we have our own differences. Personal...
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cdb
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10
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1257
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is anyone here? I need help
(Preview)
My A called at 2:00 and wanted to stay and play cards with friends. i said no, but he did anyway. He Promised he would call if he'd be later than 3:30, but it is after 3:30, and nothing! I tried to call, but no answer. I don't know whether to be mad, or scared, or think he is with another girl. I am just sitting he...
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lilleah
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10
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1299
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Looking for some support
(Preview)
My A boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. He's been sober and attending AA on a regular basis for 2 years on March 2nd. We've had a lot of problems, mainly because we're so similar. We've been trying the last 2 months to fix our relationship and make it work.&nb...
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Angel_23
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5
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1223
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the a
(Preview)
Hi all,
I so love the story of going out to have a day with the ma
nice
I did decide to put the a on the curb with the recycles. I know
it is not healty to go toe to toe with him, as the disease says
to do.
The "in my face" stuff.
I warned him twice to chill his stuff - maybe 27 times except
it had to st...
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wille
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7
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1050
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there is hope!!
(Preview)
Hi ,
I only posted a few times, 2.5 months ago when my husband was drinking 22 beers a night and I really didn't know what was going to happen to us. I just wanted to let you know there is hope!!!!!!! After years of drinking he finally hit rock bottom and has not had a drink for 2.5 months. For y...
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gabriella
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5
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1110
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my spouse smokes pot;need advice asap!!!
(Preview)
I recently told my husband that I wanted him to stop smoking pot or I would get a divorce. We have a 17 month old son and I don't want the drugs around him... Shouldn't my husband want our son to be drug free? I feel that if he cares about right and wrong he would stop but he is very stubborn...
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Orchid
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5
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1205
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Expectations Too High?
(Preview)
I've been best friends with this girl for the past two years. Last summer, we were out playing pool and met two men. After we finished playing, we decided to leave. I was walking out the door when I heard one of the men ask for her or my number. She said that we were not interested and walked out. We got into my...
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kissers
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5
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980
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Jellinek Charts
(Preview)
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. To understand the progression of the disease in the alcoholic (and in us alanoners, too! We follow the same curve into despair and destruction) www.songdove.com/jellinek.htm www.addictionz.com/ch...
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wallsal55
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3
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3151
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thanks to all
(Preview)
To all:
At first thru my journey, I was lost, blinded, thought I was crazy, couldn't barely get thru the day. It was though I was floundering thru my house, unable to see. Just bumping into things, never paying attention to where I was, or was headed. I couldn't see i...
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babs
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3
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1071
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Prayers needed..please
(Preview)
Hello alanon friends,
First of all I would like to say that the prayers for dying people like kerry5's mother are far more important than my request. Please first pray for her and her family. I feel a little funny asking for my prayer for my son but I do believe it helps for others to pray for something as...
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cdb
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9
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1099
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Sometimes Help Doesn't Help
(Preview)
When we see loved ones do things that hurt themselves, we hurt too. When they act self-defeating or are addicted or when we see their pain and the trouble they cause themselves and others, we might gladly turn ourselves inside out for them if it would help. But it would not.
Sometimes he...
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wallsal55
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6
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1130
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how honest with the children?
(Preview)
Hello again,
I'm new to this. I understand detachment, enabling, the 1st step, help yourself, can't fix the A. I've been online 3-4 times. Been to 1 meeting f2f. Reading the lit. It does seem to help. I'll keep going. Each day lately I do something for my self...
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babs
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8
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1243
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new 2 board
(Preview)
Hello all, I've been reading your posts and Im very sorry that we are all in such an unfortunate situation. From what I am reading, I have to ask, is it true that Im just suppose to enable this behavior of my "a"??? I do realize that its not me, I do realize that I cant control it, but its very deg...
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cant stand it
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3
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1049
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Ignoring other members
(Preview)
Most of us here didn't come here because we were happy and painfree. IN fact, it is just the opposite. The chatroom dynamics can be quite interesting at times, especially when there are alot of people chatting at the same time. Some of us are multitasking or running back and forth to the computer trying...
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cdb
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0
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1077
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Thank you all :)
(Preview)
Your replies helped me very much.
I'm feeling better this morning. I finally got a good night's sleep with the help of a sleeping pill. I'm getting back into my work routine again which stablizes me. My HP is relieving me of my excessive worries again now too.
It s...
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catherine
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1
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880
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I'm a mess.
(Preview)
Just got over a week's visit with my A & we drank together. I really don't feel guilty about MY drinking as it calmed my nerves so I was able stay calm around his behaviour, but now I have to deal with my own alcoholism.
I haven't had a drink since Saturday---two days sober, yet again.&...
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catherine
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4
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1222
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Free Al-Anon Speaker Tapes
(Preview)
http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=16
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John
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0
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3665
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Letting Go of Those Not In Recovery
(Preview)
I got an email from John asking for some assistance with the message board and thought "what do I have to offer?" Then I overslept this morning and missed by F2F and remembered the seed that John planted :) and thought well I can go the message board this morning for my "meeting." Tha...
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Maria123
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5
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1213
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Nervous
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Well, tomorrow my husband is coming home for a visit for a couple of weeks and I'm really nervous about it tonight. I guess because while he was gone and things were so up in the air about our marriage, I really had to focus on ME and let go of everything else. Now that we've been ta...
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autumnangel
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14
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1317
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who should a sponser be?
(Preview)
I'm new. I've heard a sponser should be someone you like, someone who's done the steps & is, well, experienced, if I can say that? What's the job of a sponser, I don't quite get it.
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babs
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9
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1361
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3 day Sobriety ended
(Preview)
Well, the 3 day's of no drink ended today. He just bought a beer. Just one. He doesn't have any money and I won't give him any for beer.
I noticed in my last posting of "last Night" that the last 2 people think I have a 2 year old daughter. Wrong. I only have a 12 year old stepdaughter and she doesn't live with...
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debalina36
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5
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1247
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snow day
(Preview)
well, i have a lot of unexpected time at home today, and i'm trying to keep busy. i am reading, painting,... i have not seen my ex "A" in 6 months, nor have we talked for one month. i have resisted calling, e-mailing, driving by,...(trying to think of these as esteemable acts). ...
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marissa
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5
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1283
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haximon.....
(Preview)
Hi,
thanks for your response to who a sponser should be! What did you mean about getting it in writing?
Thanks to all who also respond, also.
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babs
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0
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853
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Quote for Today/detachment
(Preview)
A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails--Source Unknown.
Hmmm....I always think of Detachment as that sort of friend...Thank God for that little pamphlet at Alanon meetings! www.coping.org/control/detach.htm :flowerpot...
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wallsal55
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4
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1259
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Doing the Right Thing
(Preview)
I am having the hardest time doing the right things in my life these days. The pressure I am feeling about my husband is weighing on me like a brick. Somewhere down deep I believe that we are over - yet I continue with the relationship. Part of me feels disloyal to him because he...
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AlaMom
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6
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983
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Update
(Preview)
Just a warm hello to everyone. No need to reply to this. I haven't been posting for awhile because I have had a crazy sinus infection and my ears have been blocked for several weeks now. I guess I can hear about 80% now. Dragging myself to work was a real chore.
My A...
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Annie
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4
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1062
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Stormy Seas
(Preview)
What a relief to find people who understand and who can offer hope and support. The last 18 months for me has been like riding a small boat in stormy seas.
Over the last 18 months my A has had 3 jobs, 3 breakdowns, fallen out with all of his friends, been unemployed 3 times, bee...
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Ava
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7
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940
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Last night
(Preview)
Hello - last night was pretty bad. I reacted to him. I fell back into my old habits and screamed back at him. I was actually trying to reason with my A, knowing full well my words were falling on deaf ears. I might as well talk to the wall. I knew that when he gets his unemployment check, he will drink and drink...
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debalina36
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9
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1311
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Finally... My first f2f meeting
(Preview)
I am happy tonight i got to go to my first f2f meeting and I felt great after. My Sister in law went together and at first we were the only ones there... worried then another girl joined. It wasn't what i thought but it was good, great. My A came home and i just told him that i was going out, did'nt tell him where...
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jj
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4
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1110
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getting step 1,2,3 right?
(Preview)
Hi,
I just want to check with the interpretations of steps 1,2,3.
Step 1: to realize I have lost control, can't manage anymore
Step 2: to realize I need a help from a higher power in order to heal (family, friends, Al anon, God, etc.)
Step 3: to realize I can only do my best & noth...
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babs
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12
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1781
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which reading material?
(Preview)
Hello,
Thanks for reading. I'm new to this & was interested in the forum magazine. Any thoughts on this. I'm not much of a long reader, more of a short term reader. Also I like more facts, and suggestions, not so much as comparing stories for reading. Any advice...
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babs
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5
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2996
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Taking the steps to take me back
(Preview)
So this week has been very good for me! I turned a very important corner this week by attending my first f2f. I would like to thank all of you for advising me to go I REALLY did need it! I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Doing more things for me and explaining to my A the way that I am feeling and wh...
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jj
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3
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861
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lilleah,,,,,come to chatroom,,,
(Preview)
I will wait for you for a half hour or more,,cdb
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cdb
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1
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1307
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divorce vs. living with an A
(Preview)
This is my first time to write something on this board but right now I am at a pretty low point in my life. I was married about 4 months ago to a man whom I only knew for about 4 months bf we got married - (got engaged 1 1/2 mo after seeing each other and then married 2 1/2 mo later). He had told me he wa...
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estrelladehope
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10
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1510
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My son... letting go...
(Preview)
My son is struggling with doing life. He has a woman friend now. I think she has a good heart. They are getting close and that scares my son. The only thing my son knows of being close is abuse. My son is struggling getting and keeping gainful employment. I am weaning my son from being monetary dependent of...
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richard
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5
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1214
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new to this
(Preview)
Hi everyone. My name is Jenn. This is the first time i've done anything like this. Please bear with me. Well it doesn't seem that my story is all that different from many of you out there. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for almost seven yrs now. During the last...
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jenn011
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7
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1194
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Tuesday a.m. March 1,2005
(Preview)
Just a note to let you know I am the scheduled chair for the Tuesday morning Al-Anon meetings. However, for March 1 (next Tuesday), I am unable to keep my commitment as I have a Dr.'s appointment that morning. Hope one of the OP's can cover that meeting for me and if not, perhap...
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shimo
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2
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918
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God listens
(Preview)
My husband obtained a gun from a girl that was stolen and now she is in jail and the gun has to go back to the police, which takes it out of my home and out of my A husband's hands!
God listens to my prayers! And he will listen to yours! Plus I wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate your support and prayers...
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debalina36
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6
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1276
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Grateful
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Well, sometimes something happens to brighten your day and remind you that people really are basically good. Tonight I was in the drive thru lane at McDonald's and when I got up to the window to pay for the food, the guy told me that the lady in front of me had paid for my order!&n...
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autumnangel
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5
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1085
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Self Esteem, Self Love, Self Centeredness
(Preview)
by Nancy Poitou, M.A., M.F.T.
I have been asked often about what is self-esteem, self-love and self-centeredness. These are very good questions and it is a fine line that separates these concepts.
Self esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, feeling worthy of a good life and good t...
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Phil
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1
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1647
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son's addiction
(Preview)
Hi, I am new on this board... My 21 year old son is really messed up..He lost his job ---had to move back home with my husband and I... We have had to pay over $800. for electricity water, phone,that he owed when living in town...He has no income! The last straw was a $450 f...
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lalarainbow
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6
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1322
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Sponsor me please!
(Preview)
Hi I am in London, England and have difficulty getting to face to face meetings. I have never had a sponsor and I think it would really help me.
Please could you contact me if you have been in alanon a while and if you have the time to spare to help me
Many thanks[email]hollidaymandy@hotmail.com...
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mandyhol
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2
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1003
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Chatroom won't load :( help
(Preview)
Am I the only one who cannot get the chatroom to load? All, I get is a grey page. I am having withdrawals here....Yikes...cdb
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cdb
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1
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883
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