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In the middle of AA HELL
(Preview)
This place has been a comfort for me. My S/O is now in a wonderful treatment program. It focuses on her. Sure there is a group for us both to attend- "family night". It's great if your A partner doesn't cop out with fear and tears. They are here for her, not me. Angr...
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page
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4
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1418
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Quote for Today - (4th step!)
(Preview)
"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight. --Heller Keller
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wallsal55
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2
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878
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Advice Needed
(Preview)
Hello
I am a recovery alcholic, I have a spouse who is not an alcholic. Is it unreasonable for me to ask that spouse to not drink anymore? Or not to come home if they had been drinking ie.stay at a friends house? I am confused as to what I am supposed to expect from my spou...
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mjg
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6
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1112
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Little Progress not Perfection thing I noted today
(Preview)
Ran into a Dale Carnegie graduate that was in a class that I was Grad assisting last fall and while we were talking he mentioned something negative about a mutual acquaintance (another grad) and then stopped and said oops guess I’m not doing very well as I already forgot the 3 C’s (for Carnegie its criti...
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Mark S
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2
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979
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gratitude
(Preview)
Today i am greatful for my loving children Today I am greatful for alanon Today I am greatful that my husband came home so I could go to my f2f meeting Today I am greatful that my husband realized that alanon is good for me Today I am greatful that I have many supportive friends that help me when I am feeling b...
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jj
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5
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994
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Thanks for the prayers for my family.....
(Preview)
Thank you all for your recent prayers. I finally talked to my dad about that situation with my son about the business he was buying and so far dad is doing okay. He is hurt as we all are that my uncle did not at least give my son and dad the courtesy of talking to ...
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cdb
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6
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1153
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Newbie
(Preview)
I am a newbie, I went with my wife to her first AA meeting Sunday night. She has been drinking, self-medicating for six months, she is 36 yrs old and suffering depression for 3-4 years. She drinks about a fifth a day abuses prescription drugs when they are available&n...
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Beskem
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6
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858
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Love
(Preview)
I remember Love feeling like a great, big, comfy Soft Easy Chair...Ah Hah...Where I could be myself! :)
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wallsal55
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2
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679
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Apology
(Preview)
I am so sorry for disappearing tonite...My baby needed me right in the middle of the meeting. It may happen more than I like but as most of you know that have kids...well they come first.
I will try again tomorrow night.
Thank you so much for being understanding.
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Mamaklop
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2
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692
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My Mip Experience
(Preview)
I was in mip in 2000 for two years. I left cause i was going through to much with a divorce at the time and i didnt know how to handle some things. I am a very intense person, i was angry at some people i thought that abandoned me. I was an op in Alanonchat, acoa c...
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kerry5
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7
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950
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Alanon Retreats/Spring Flings
(Preview)
Hi...At various alanon meetings, there are flyers given out for Alanon picnics, retreats, spring flings, dances (usually AA combined), rallies, conventions, potlucks. [This year there is a Spring Fling in Galesburg, IL for both Alanon and AA. I can post this in...
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wallsal55
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0
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868
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Meeting? time?
(Preview)
Ok what time is the meeting? I am in Oregon.
love, debilyn who for some reason cannot keep her eyes open today...zzzzz
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debilyn
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2
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715
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VOTING tonite at meeting
(Preview)
Hello everyone,
I still haven't got an answer if there will be a vote tonite on whether we can give hugs, smiles, nods or agrees during a meeting. There are people that don't use this board and don't even know about the meeting as someone stated at open chat late last night. I am new here and I have voiced...
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cdb
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3
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837
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Need to get it off my chest
(Preview)
Hi Everyone,
I needed to just sit here and type. In a way I hate message boards because I can't get an immediate answer. I want it and I want it now. Guess that goes with the whole problems I suffer from huh, lol. Anyway I am so confused.&nbs...
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holly123
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4
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927
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Defensiveness/Retaliation
(Preview)
Gosh, went to an alanon retreat. Some of it is still sinking in. A friend of mine tried to remind me when dealing with my A, "No defense, (defensiveness) No retaliation."
I guess I think of it as take no offense, no need to retaliate.
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wallsal55
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4
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1120
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Looking for a sponsor
(Preview)
Hello Everyone,
Let me tell you about myself, I have been in Al-anon for almost a year, I have made great strides and great slides in this program. I have been married to my a for almost 10 years and new him much more than that. I previously had a online sponsor b...
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holly123
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1
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832
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Emotionally Unavailable
(Preview)
I've worked the steps and discovered that I am emotionally immature and needy. I also discovered that I married a really decent man who is emotionally unavailable. (I'll pass on the hardware store theory have heard it plenty of times). What I need to know, is now what? I especially want to hear from any...
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fineline
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9
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812
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Just a shell
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I haven't posted here very often but I do come and read to gain some insight with everyone's experiences. First off I just want to say thank you to everyone for sharing and for willing to listen to my vents.
It's weird - there must be different stages with dealing with an A.&n...
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dogscribe
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8
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776
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My children
(Preview)
Hi,
In another thread some one had asked me how Conner was, and how old he is now.
Conner is now 15 months old, he is not walking, but he crawls and climbs faster than I can catch him. He is a little joy, laughing and smiling all of the time.
He is so content, okay a little spoiled but Mom and Big Brothers...
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Jeannie
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6
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1185
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A thought... thanks cdb... all...
(Preview)
At times, I say, “I wish I could get younger as I get older.” I say, I wish I could go back to younger years, only take with me what I know today. Only thing is though… if I took back what I know now… I would not do many, most of what I have done. However, if I did not do those things, done other things… I would not...
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richard
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1
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890
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looking for a sponser
(Preview)
Hi all I am looking for a sponser who can help me begin working the steps and just lend a hand if I get off track, I really do not know to go about asking for one, so any input you can please give. Yes I am the lost puppy! LOL I need to find myself and I am not sure how since I have been not knowing me for so long, well,...
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cloud
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4
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1103
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"Live" and Let Live
(Preview)
I picked up my blue book "How Alanon Works for Family and Friends" and began to read about the slogans. Was pretty interesting how we study this slogan and really study the "Let Live" part very thoroughly, but we forget the "LIVE" part. The "LIVE" part is for US, and we have a right to a good l...
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wallsal55
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2
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940
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almost slipped into old habbits
(Preview)
Lastnight all was going just fine and for once in such a long time I was headded to bed early, had a shower and getting ready for bed. When I got out of the shower I heard my daughter crying and since AH was home and not intoxicated I figured he would tend to daughters needs but no she continued to cry. So I quic...
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jj
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7
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922
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Am Making Amends so you all...
(Preview)
Hello Everyone,
Part of my journey though alanon is to make amends. WEll, I need to explain about what I found to be a problem for me lately. I have chronic pain and at nite I take a pain pill called methadone which is very strong and also latey a sleeping pill called ambien. I know that my pa...
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cdb
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9
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1125
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Illiteracy and Recovery
(Preview)
I was just over reading the AA board and came upon a post that made me stop and think. To be honest, what this post mentioned had never crossed my mind.
We refer people to books and pamphlets, the written word. Now here in chat or message board I think it is pretty safe to assume the person ca...
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kismetstrand
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4
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1044
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Is our Webpage down? Anyone??
(Preview)
Hey guys, is the page down tonight, Tuesday, March 8th?
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Maria123
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1
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790
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A share RE Resentment from the AA board
(Preview)
Deal with Resentment Now!!!
Remember the HALT formula - when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, you are more likely to act out. When you are hungry, you can eat. When you are lonely you can seek company or make a phone call. When you are tired you can give yourself some rest. But what can you do when...
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Phil
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2
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949
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BUS MTG AGENDA
(Preview)
 GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETING March 9, 2005 - 7:00 PM EST in the Al-Anon Chatroom   &n...
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shimo
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4
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991
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Meeting Etiquette
(Preview)
I don't know if this is a recent upsurge of certain things happening, or if I just didn't notice it before. At any rate, since we have a lot of newcomers and others who are not able to attend face to face meetings, I just thought I would mention a few things. My humble opinion here. Take...
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kismetstrand
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20
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6112
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Thinking (more)
(Preview)
Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are. --Jose Ortegay Gasset
Where the mind is, there will be the heart; we become what we think about. If that idea doesn't halt you in your tracks, it should. Why? Our sense of self is totally reflective of our habitual thi...
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wallsal55
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5
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743
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Did a lot of work on a reply... repeat here...
(Preview)
This detachment thing… hating the disease… loving the person inside… all beings of God deserves to be loved and are loved by God… God is in all and is all. A chronic drunk driver deserves to be loved… she or he deserves to be in prison for the protection of society and the drunk. A mate addicted to drugs lik...
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richard
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5
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987
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jumping in with both feet
(Preview)
I have a phone sponsor, but I would really like to be able to IM via yahoo or MSN someone.
I have chronic health problems and need to work the steps for that as much as my families alcohol problem.
anybody willing, I have p[lenty of friends to chat with so I wouldn't be bugging you all the time, I j...
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jrtjosey
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4
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882
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A work in progress
(Preview)
In 2002 when I went to my first Ala-non meeting I hadn't worked in 5 years. I stayed home and managed everything, managed to enable my AH with all the freedom in the world. After 6 months in program I got a job that I love and found mmyself again. I take classes, work out and feel great. Yea, he quit drinking t...
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whitie
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6
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767
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Had to buy a lock today :(
(Preview)
Hello friends,
My 20 year old alcoholic/drug addict daughter is still in the inpatient treatment center and probably will be some time still. It has been a month Wednesday that she was admited. We now owe $1,000 out of pocket which is good for most insurance companies but not good for my husband and m...
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cdb
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3
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838
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step 3&4 explained
(Preview)
Step Three Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. There is a saying in the AlaTeen Twelve Step Program that says, “God Can’t do his work if you’re standing in His way.” Several years ago a popular song said, “If it don’t fit---don’t force it-...
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jj
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3
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1209
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cdb
(Preview)
Just wanted to thank you for always responding to messages. I feel you as being a real part of this alanon room here. You have hung in there thru hard stuff. I am so glad.
Please update us how your daughter is, and how are you doing?? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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4
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981
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Anyone wanna read my poem
(Preview)
Just a wee poem I wrote the other day dont know how good my poem writing skills are so laugh if you want to - Background to understand poem is that the city I live in has an east coast - white sandy beaches and an hour away a west coast (The Manukau) with black sand beaches pronounc...
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Ava
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6
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1326
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Thinking
(Preview)
"A mob has many heads, but no brain. " Shankara
Recent research has led brain specialists to understand that the human mind works less like a computer than a town meeting. kpparently there are many inputs offering different responses to the issues that confront us.&nb...
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wallsal55
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3
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999
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Funny, odd funny... / my cats...
(Preview)
…my cats, I think about four years of age, so dislike being held huggy like, but much so crave it. And, I do hug them strongly, with locked hold but not squeezing and not locking to ‘keep’ them but a letting go hug… go as they will and ever so slowly do… funny thing about love, well maybe it ain’t so strange, j...
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richard
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5
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987
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update to disease progression
(Preview)
I don't feel much still. Just serene and I go on, move forward.
A fixed what was needed on my rental. I saw no heart, not even a black one at first. He was ok but in two days I saw how the disease has progressed.
I have a pot bellied pig named Luster who loves me. He is a guard pig when it comes to me. He hat...
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debilyn
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17
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2394
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Quote for Today
(Preview)
"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound by the light that I have. I must stand by anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." --Abraham Lincoln
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wallsal55
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0
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693
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Newbie here
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here. I am seeking Alanon support because my husband of 2 years has returned to drinking after 17 years being sober. OUCH!!!
Here is my story.
My husband and I met in AA in 2002. We married in 2003. He was the chair of the meetings and we went on a regular basis...
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Mamaklop
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9
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1131
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Taking things One Day at a Time
(Preview)
I am living my life in the now. I am not making any plans for tomorrow, except I know I go to work and then go to my meeting. My A took his assessment, paid his $100.00 and will meet with them on Monday's and Thursday's 6-8pm. He has a list of employers to go to tomorrow and says he will have a high paying job this...
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debalina36
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6
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1069
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expectations
(Preview)
I find that my expectations get me in so much trouble. When the a goes through a good spell, doesn't drink much if at all, or whatever, I expect for things to continue like that. If he is on a binge, my expectations are similar, as in things will never change, etc etc. And I get disappoi...
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cah
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10
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1160
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No more Merri-go-round
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I hope this post finds everyone well. :)
When my husband relapsed I had no choice but to stick to my word. I had told him that under no circumstances would the kids and I live with active drinking. We where aware that there could be slip ups, and we would keep quiet about that, but when he be...
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Jeannie
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9
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1013
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Struggling with Resentments
(Preview)
Dear Friends, I've been coming into the chat/meeting room for about five years now, but this is the first time I have posted on the Message Board. I've made so many friends in the room who have given so much support on many occasions. And I'm reaching out again tonight.
I thought I...
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she123
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8
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1179
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what should I do?
(Preview)
My "a" called at 4pm, said he'd be home in 1 1/2 hours. Ok, as usual I made dinner for my kids, a placemat was placed on the table for the "a" by my youngest child. And not to my surprise, no "a". After reading you posts, I do not call to see where he is, its his problem, but... the youngest wants to know when he's...
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cant stand it
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12
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1210
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Mr Mom the Mess
(Preview)
Hey all
Been having quite a time lately, lol probably notice at the board a lot lately. If ever read my replies you probably know my story so I won’t go into that as I seem to tie it into most every reply anyway ..humm. Anyhow while wife is off to rehab for a month I am playing Mr. Mom. I did it a couple years...
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Mark S
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7
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1011
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A big article re: FEAR
(Preview)
Fear and focus by Chris Joosse
Books to read:
'The Fear Book', by Cheri Huber
Its a common ground that we all share and often joke about, but don't always discuss seriously. We kind of have a tradition of 'bucking up' and 'persisting through it' as a way to deal with fear in order to...
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Phil
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3
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1523
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intervention & gratitiude
(Preview)
Well it is so good 2 b back-was skiing up north 4 a week with both healthy and unhealthy family members and I need to be coming herre and to meetings.
some thoughts on ealrier meeting: I heard others sharing at meeting and I could relate to both gratitiude and to someone...
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luv123
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2
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767
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Some of My Favorities
(Preview)
Here are some of my favorites that i recieved the first year i was in alanon hope you enjoy.
If I Continue....
IF i continue to see things the way i have always seen things,
I will continue to think the way i have always thought.
If i continue to think the way i have always thought,
I will continue...
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kerry5
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5
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804
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funny little tid bit
(Preview)
So I posted the other day about how things between my AH and how in using the steps for me has made such a difference.
So A phoned lastnight to say he was stopping at a friends to have a visit, Fine with me I had told him and mentioned that if it was late just to spend the night there...so...we hung up and a few...
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jj
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1
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872
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boundary paper
(Preview)
This is a paper that I got off the internet about Cross-talk and Boundiaries. The type is large cuz of my eyes. :) I want y'all to know this is not CAL. I was typing it in the room during open chat and another alanon encouraged me to type it here as well.
Crosstalk and Boun...
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Lucy_A
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2
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1168
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People Pleasing
(Preview)
Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits
I must be liked by everyone.
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Phil
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4
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1306
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When you feel unsupported....
(Preview)
I see alot of posts lately about not feeling welcome in the chatroom or not getting support. And alot of people saying theres more joking than supporting. I too at times have felt unsupported in the chatroom but ive been here two years ago for two years and have come back i left for different reasons. Usu...
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kerry5
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9
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1049
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jj reminded me --/ my son....
(Preview)
JJ reminded me that letting go is so very much neat. I let go of my son’s recovery from his horrendous childhood and drug abuse, and his God and him are doing just fine going down my son’s path in life. My son seems to be trying very hard and is succeeding become independent of me financially. He lost severa...
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richard
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4
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956
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Re: Meeting Etiquette Post
(Preview)
After reading the many responses (thank you all) there were a few things I wanted to clarify.
No where in my post did I say these were "Al-Anon Rules". Al-Anon does not have rules, Al-Anon has guidelines/suggestions. Each group decides for themselves, thru the group conscience, how...
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kismetstrand
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3
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1375
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step 2 explained
(Preview)
Here is step 2. (please keep in mind this is from Naranon forum thats why it says addic but is the same for alanon)
Hope this helps others
Step Two Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Many of us have lived with or had relationships with addicts wh...
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jj
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0
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789
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12 steps explained
(Preview)
this was posted on another foum post. I am not sure if it is allowed but it is very helpful. Let me know if the subject should or shouldn't be posted.
Please note this is from NarAnon but it is the same just addict instead of alcoholic. JJ
Step One We admitted we were powerless over th...
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jj
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1
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4676
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DETACHMENT-REMINDERS
(Preview)
Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of somene elses drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In alanon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsessions with another's behaviour...
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gardengal
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5
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860
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