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In desperate need of help
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm new here. I have been looking for a support group that will understand what I'm going through. My friends and immediate family don't understand the nature of this illness that is Alcoholism. Most will just ask me to leave. I don't want to and I want to make things work between me and my A....
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Fil0417
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11
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552
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Do you believe in coincidences?
(Preview)
So if you are a baseball fan you know that the LA Dodgers are going to the Show... The World Series. Now, I am not a huge baseball fan, but my AH was a AAA ball player back in the day... so in our early marriage, sports were a big deal. In fact, the last time the Dodgers were in the World Series was 29 years ago. W...
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PosiesandPuppies
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6
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607
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ODAT Reading 10-21-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for October 21st speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and taking nobody else inventory but our own. The reading goes on to say that at first we are surprised to discover that sometimes we may be at fault and that our responses could have been different. Before program we o...
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bettyk
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5
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518
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12 step prayer book_Oct 20th 2017
(Preview)
Todays entry goes into how self-seeking slips away...It reminds us to remember that not everything is about me me me....Non recovery folks think of themselves as their whole existence....Working the program, we learn understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharingIt asks that we have...
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mamalioness
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3
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442
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what am I grateful for of late???
(Preview)
its been a sucky year, so more then ever, I need to dig out the gratitude list to stay positive my daughters are in good health I and my pets are all in good health even tho work is slower, my bills are paid and I got lots to eat in fridge and pantry I am learning more about compassion and consideration of other...
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mamalioness
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8
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559
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/20/17
(Preview)
Good morning MIP - happy Friday to one and all. So grateful we live one day at a time - my favorite NFL team LOST last night by 1 point! Truly --- I am over it. Today's reading talks about being present and practicing staying in the 'today'. The author discusses how, as a child, they would spend time and...
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Iamhere
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1
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378
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Helping a Newbie...
(Preview)
Good Morning all. I'm new here and looking for some guidance/help. I'm from a family of alcoholics, a friend of alcoholics, and my husband and I are most likely alcoholics. I've lost a brother to alcohol and now feel like I am ready to lose another. My only surviving brother and my sister and niece w...
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storygirl
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11
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634
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/19/17
(Preview)
Good morning MIP family! Today's reading is about letting go and letting God. The author discusses an unexpected job relocation to a new city and one week to find a home. After 3 days of searching, worry and more happening, a meeting was needed. At the meeting, the author heard much needed ESH abou...
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Iamhere
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7
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622
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Fear of failure
(Preview)
Hi, MIP family. I haven't been posting much lately, and mostly things around me and my attitude has been good, been keeping busy. I want to say thanks to you all for being here, MIP has been and continues to be an important part of my recovery. One of the most important things I've gained through Alanon is...
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Aline
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7
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5410
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I don't have to win every battle
(Preview)
I used to think I had to win every battle...now , if I just cannot overcome, I walk away...let go...maybe permanently, maybe for a while...it depends....but the "banging my head against the wall" times are shorter case in point I am cleaning up my USB drives with my files, pics and movies and 2 are 2 tera...
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mamalioness
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2
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617
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Step 3
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 3 has been posted to theStep Work Board . Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64038144/a...
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bettyk
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1
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487
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New Awareness ..
(Preview)
I have to apologize for not being around things have been really blowing up and in some ways that's a good thing and in others .. it means I have come to a new realization in my own behavior which .. ugh .. seriously .. so not ok because I don't want to deal with this garbage from time to time. I had a big dawnin...
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SerenityRUS
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11
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593
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Quick hello to all
(Preview)
Hi to all of you! Its "hump day" Hope your Wednesday is going well. I am on to step four and have started to make an effort to work through answering the questions in this step. Each step has shown me that I really needed to come to this program so much sooner than I have, but I am so glad that I finally did. F...
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mamakat71
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3
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549
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Facility rejected my AH
(Preview)
So last night I got several drunk texts, and a few drunk calls. All of him sobbing his eyes out. It was so hard to sit and listen to that. I eventually muted him. The last thing he texted me was "Come tomorrow and get cats, I am going into a facility." Now since he has done this several times in the past, I didn'...
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PosiesandPuppies
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5
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544
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Please Help
(Preview)
New here, need some help or feedback. A few years ago, I began to suspect that my wifes drinking had escalated to the point of alcoholism. I thought of myself at the time as a moderate drinker, but now recognize that I was a problem drinker also, though my drinking was kept somewhat in check by the fact tha...
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fm1
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6
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536
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Today's Hope October 18
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! I'm traveling with work this week, and my internet is rather spotty, so I'm using yesterday's sharing from the Today's Hope app. The share is about motives. The author reflects on how important it is to check their motives before taking action or speaking. Before springing into...
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Skorpi
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4
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421
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Serenity now!
(Preview)
Hi all, I am now living with my stbex AH while we go through mediation. We are getting on pretty well now that we are not trying to maintain a marriage that just wasnt going to work . In fact he makes a better friend than husband. Thats all well and good but I am still trying to emotionally detach. I want t...
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BethBethBeth
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1
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398
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making progress
(Preview)
|First and foremost thanks to this message board. I have not been able to get to meetings as I have been sick, so this message board has been a life saver for me. Last night the ABF started drinking and I read a comment from a member, about using EAR PLUGS! Well, I did last night and it was a life saver, thank...
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joker
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4
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439
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Help I've really lost the plot this time
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Here's the thing .. I got in from work today and supposed to be packing to go on holiday tomorrow with AH. I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he was on one when I got home, and I couldn't do right for doing wrong. I let him get to me, he just seems to know how to push the right buttons to...
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Lil99
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4
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1427
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fantasy land living
(Preview)
Addiction/Alcoholism are progressive and while some things present the same, many other things do not. What is usually consistent is denial and fantasy-land-living. This applies to both the alcoholic/addict as well as family member/friends. I read this on another post and I can so relate, fanta...
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joker
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3
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617
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just stopping in to say "hey" to you all
(Preview)
Hey everyone !! Hope all is OK with everyone...I have been busy trying to get more PT work for Tuesdays....Plus I need to re-home this little male pup I rescued some months back...3 is too much, especially when the male is so hyper and hard to work with...So my doggie rescue friend and I are looking for a (...
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mamalioness
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4
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627
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Prayers needed for my parents
(Preview)
My parents lost their home of 41 years to the Cascade Fire in Yuba County, California. In the middle of the night on Sunday in to Monday they fled for their lives as the fire swept through their little town on 70-80 mile an hour winds. They lost everything but a tractor and a telescope. They are in their...
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Bethany66
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10
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576
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Attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday
(Preview)
It was not what I expected. I pictured a small group, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, sharing each others' experiences with our loved one/ones with the drinking problem. Rather, the first 15 minutes of the meeting were spent taking turns reading word for word out of a book. Afterwards was sh...
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maria k
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17
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2650
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Just want to pass something by you
(Preview)
So my AH is not "typical" alcoholic--more like a problem drinker. He drinks almost every evening anywhere from 2-6 beers. He gets loud, drunk swearing, talking at the TV (like a 50 year old frat boy). So I have been going to Al-Anon to help me cope with my anger, frustration,anxiety, etc over excess...
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Dancer66
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7
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528
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being a partner
(Preview)
I would be a crappy partner... even if he gets sober one day. This is from another member and my goodness, this statement is so true to me. I just had an ah moment. Detachment, possible. Wake up call possible. I see what the therapist I had been seeing means. She says I am not marriage or relationship mater...
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joker
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8
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480
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ODAT Reading 10-17-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for October 17, speaks about how, unconsciously we can be directing and controlling of others. They offer examples such as, saying"it's almost time for church,get ready".," do not take the car out in this weather." It's almost time for sleep etc. The reading points out that these a...
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bettyk
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2
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342
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Hope for Today Oct 15
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us learned to cope by either inaction, reaction, or some combination of both. As I was reading I -- I don't think 'doing nothing' was ever in my repetoire and then I thought again...how many situations have I been in when I kept my mouth shut but...
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yanksfan51
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7
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406
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Focus on the disease
(Preview)
As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...
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joker
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3
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395
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C2C, 10/16
(Preview)
Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...
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Lyne
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4
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392
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Signs my alcoholic is drinking again
(Preview)
i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...
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Jan S
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5
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535
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Struggling with husband returning any advice
(Preview)
Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...
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Jlilley
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6
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487
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I'm am idiot
(Preview)
I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...
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Old Soul Scorpio
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8
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453
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Hope for me
(Preview)
If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...
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joker
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2
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334
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FUN
(Preview)
the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...
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joker
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0
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331
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Focus on the disease
(Preview)
As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...
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joker
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1
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318
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A Good Thing
(Preview)
So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...
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PosiesandPuppies
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8
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697
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It is frustrating to not know what "normal" is
(Preview)
Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naďve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...
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maria k
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5
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850
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LOST
(Preview)
I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...
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angelawang
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6
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3509
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Angry
(Preview)
I'm so full of anger for the woman whos been in my life for 3 years. she's an alcoholic and she's lied and treated me very badly. Ive allowed her to do that. I've never been treated so badly but made the excuse she was ill and that she didn't mean it and when she was better everything would be ok..ive told...
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CarlyH
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9
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2208
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New Here- so confused
(Preview)
I have been married to my AH for nearly 19 years and he has drank for that whole time. He just seriously tried to stop drinking in Jan of this year. He did an outpatient rehab and AA and did well for a couple of months. And then something, he can't tell me what, caused him to veer off the path. So then we went to t...
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tracig
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5
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420
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Bad day
(Preview)
I am so mad at myself for being in this situation again. As soon as I think things might be ok, BAM they are totally out of control. My ah has been saying that he is going to AA and maybe he is, but he has also been sneaking around and drinking behind my back. This has caused arguments where I am falling back...
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mamakat71
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3
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486
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Why is he angry at me?
(Preview)
I am the one who stayed and tried my best to raise him and his brother alone, his dad left the state and more or less abandoned him. Why isnt he mad at him, instead its all my fault....I guess this is called misplaced anger or something like that. He is in his early 30's and does not drink anymore, but does not...
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LinSC
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12
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640
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Taking care of myself
(Preview)
hi everyone. I don't post often, but today I have to "talk" with someone who understands alcoholism and the crazy stuff that happens because of it. I have been taking care of my mother in laws finances after she could no longer keep up, with permission from the family ( and I wanted to help in this way). I...
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Fergie
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7
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580
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Lately everyday feels like a test
(Preview)
I'm in a difficult phase of my life, but maybe they all have been. Or maybe my serenity is slipping due to ongoing stress with my A, moving, sick animals, family stuff, etc. I need patience, my tools, compassion, acceptance, etc., and I feel exhausted. Each day has new challenges and the happy and fu...
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Lyne
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5
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470
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What am i looking for tonight .. hmm
(Preview)
i began to post wondering if i was looking for self pity .. nope .. already found that one all by myself lol .. i am just looking to be in a fellowship with others who understand or have felt what i have .. feelings can still be so large for me sometimes .. course i'm an adult child of alcoholism so .. everythin...
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MeTwo2
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6
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543
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ODAT READING 10-14-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...
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bettyk
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1
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366
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It’s a waiting game he’s
(Preview)
Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...
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Jlilley
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12
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2685
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AA or Alanon?
(Preview)
A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...
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Buckeye Girl
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4
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554
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Whoops.
(Preview)
Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest.
On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic.
On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...
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a4l
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4
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460
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Better Late Than Never - Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/17
(Preview)
Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...
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Iamhere
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5
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468
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daily 10th step inventory questions
(Preview)
this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...
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shenny
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12
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11868
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Making the choice to leave
(Preview)
My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...
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bobosensei
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15
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789
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Trying to understand all this I’m still learning never dealt with this
(Preview)
My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...
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Demartine
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5
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1009
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/12/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...
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Iamhere
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3
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463
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Having a wake up moment
(Preview)
Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...
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joker
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5
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1909
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Family issues
(Preview)
Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...
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Janetuc52
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7
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556
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Courage to Change October 11
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...
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Skorpi
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3
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892
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waiting....waiting...well today is that day
(Preview)
I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...
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mamakat71
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7
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526
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Dealing with a spouse's enabling
(Preview)
I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...
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LKSG8R
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3
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563
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I think my anger is actually fear/grief
(Preview)
I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...
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KT2015
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10
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2302
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