Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bettyk · bettyk

i had difficulty with my original log in name:"Hotrod" so I re established myself with a new account under the name" bettyk " I am deleting that account and will remain as" hotrod" going forward. Please direct any PM to hotrod Thanks

joker · joker

I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me. It is so darn hard tonight. My mind is projecting the worse outcome for the alcoholic. He starts a new job tomorrow, and he is drinking tonight. He says, he has anxiety. What a bunch of BS, will not admit he needs, needs with all his body, the alcohol. He needs to be i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One thing I have realized in this crazy dance of addiction is no one dance is the same. A very long time good friend is seriously battling her set of crazy at the moment and I had slipped and been dragged into it. I'm not sorry I reached out to one of her other best friends and we are keeping each other appr...

Leonatalie2 · Leonatalie2

Hi guys! Iâm new and really need some advice or support. My partner and I have ha a few ups and downs and itâs down to his drinking. I knew when we met he liked a drink but then it got out of hand when he drank for weeks at a time. When we first got together he slept with someone else, albeit it was only two weeks we...

helloitsme · helloitsme

Hello - I'm very new to this and unsure of how to begin. I don't have a long story to tell. I believe my husband is an alcoholic or, at the very least, an abuser. We have been married for 36 years. I love him so dearly but the past couple of years he's gotten worse. He isn't physically or verbally abusiv...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author discusses one of their character defects: allowing things to happen and making choices passively. The author shares that even though they were so impacted by the effects of living with alcoholism that they were not able to ac...

Grace R · Grace R

Hi there everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon. I'm still learning to navigate around the forum to participate in the "New step each fortnight". I'm wondering if anyone can please tell me how to find it easily when logging in? thanks

joker · joker

I know recovery is a lot of work. I have worked my but off at it, and I know its not over yet, recovery will always continue in my case. Recovery will never be over for me. Today, I laughed and laughed. It felt so good. It felt wonderful in fact. I have been dealing with crisis after crisis and it has taken its...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, my swollen painful gums or feelings I'm working through. Likely, it's some of each. I had an interview today. My education is recent - not very but relatively recent. It's rare that I have run into an opportunity that encompasses what I studied and with the sam...

lisa sa · lisa sa

Hello All There I was battling along, but head above water..and then today I sank. After having enough of the alcoholism especially the emotional absence, I kicked him out (abf). I had very good reasons, including a physical attack and lots and lots of disloyalty and betrayal. But then today, he come...

Iamhere · Iamhere

A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!! She sent this to me today and I just wanted...

bettyk · bettyk

ODAT Reading for 10=24-2017 speaks about the simple fact that life is difficult. . Many admittedly go about expecting life to be entirely free of problems and are constantly disappointed. Alanon suggests that we use the smple tools in order to learn how to accept the difficult times and appr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I seriously had to share this because it helps me see and sort through the insanity of the disease and not just his how it effects the whole family. Well, my XAH informed my daughter that he was graciously keeping her on child support and didn't have to because she is a student. State law in IL used to be th...

bettyk · bettyk

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64049908/alanon-step-4-10-23-2017/

joker · joker

Lyne · Lyne

Coping with a sober alcoholic: The writer discusses the expectations that were not met when the alcoholic he/she loved got sober. Some things became worse. The writer learned that he did not have to react with anger or claim to be right. He learned that he can detach and not doubt himself. The remi...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I am completing my Legal Separation papers this weekend, and plan on turning them in sometime next week. I have also been reading the posts on Separation vs Divorce. I am currently wondering why I am even considering a separation... why not make it a divorce? 6 years ago, I was in this same position... e...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi MIP family- just looking for some feedback from people whose parents divorce. Did the timing of when they told you make any particular impact besides just getting the bad news? Did they tell you after it was final? did they tell you at beginning of holiday season? Before legal proceeding? I kno...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how making amends isn't necessarily apologizing to other people, but more about figuring out our part in situations (especially those that don't go very well). What I have noticed is that since I have come to alanon I am very attracted to those who are...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was wondering if anyone could find the awaken in

joker · joker

I would like to share my progress. I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and 2 AA meetings (do not need it, but need insight). I had been feeling so angry, angry at alcoholism, what it did to me, as I grew up in it, and kept the cycle going. Maybe I finally see alcoholism in its true state, all its ugliness,...

a4l · a4l

Hi family. Man the unrecovering world is tiring. Feel like I need a mind bath lol. Stopping in to do so. Keep on keeping on every body!

Fil0417 · Fil0417

Hi everyone. I'm new here. I have been looking for a support group that will understand what I'm going through. My friends and immediate family don't understand the nature of this illness that is Alcoholism. Most will just ask me to leave. I don't want to and I want to make things work between me and my A....

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So if you are a baseball fan you know that the LA Dodgers are going to the Show... The World Series. Now, I am not a huge baseball fan, but my AH was a AAA ball player back in the day... so in our early marriage, sports were a big deal. In fact, the last time the Dodgers were in the World Series was 29 years ago. W...

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading for October 21st speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and taking nobody else inventory but our own. The reading goes on to say that at first we are surprised to discover that sometimes we may be at fault and that our responses could have been different. Before program we o...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Todays entry goes into how self-seeking slips away...It reminds us to remember that not everything is about me me me....Non recovery folks think of themselves as their whole existence....Working the program, we learn understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharingIt asks that we have...

mamalioness · mamalioness

its been a sucky year, so more then ever, I need to dig out the gratitude list to stay positive my daughters are in good health I and my pets are all in good health even tho work is slower, my bills are paid and I got lots to eat in fridge and pantry I am learning more about compassion and consideration of other...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - happy Friday to one and all. So grateful we live one day at a time - my favorite NFL team LOST last night by 1 point! Truly --- I am over it. Today's reading talks about being present and practicing staying in the 'today'. The author discusses how, as a child, they would spend time and...

storygirl · storygirl

Good Morning all. I'm new here and looking for some guidance/help. I'm from a family of alcoholics, a friend of alcoholics, and my husband and I are most likely alcoholics. I've lost a brother to alcohol and now feel like I am ready to lose another. My only surviving brother and my sister and niece w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! Today's reading is about letting go and letting God. The author discusses an unexpected job relocation to a new city and one week to find a home. After 3 days of searching, worry and more happening, a meeting was needed. At the meeting, the author heard much needed ESH abou...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family. I haven't been posting much lately, and mostly things around me and my attitude has been good, been keeping busy. I want to say thanks to you all for being here, MIP has been and continues to be an important part of my recovery. One of the most important things I've gained through Alanon is...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I used to think I had to win every battle...now , if I just cannot overcome, I walk away...let go...maybe permanently, maybe for a while...it depends....but the "banging my head against the wall" times are shorter case in point I am cleaning up my USB drives with my files, pics and movies and 2 are 2 tera...

bettyk · bettyk

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 3 has been posted to theStep Work Board . Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64038144/a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have to apologize for not being around things have been really blowing up and in some ways that's a good thing and in others .. it means I have come to a new realization in my own behavior which .. ugh .. seriously .. so not ok because I don't want to deal with this garbage from time to time. I had a big dawnin...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

Hi to all of you! Its "hump day" Hope your Wednesday is going well. I am on to step four and have started to make an effort to work through answering the questions in this step. Each step has shown me that I really needed to come to this program so much sooner than I have, but I am so glad that I finally did. F...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So last night I got several drunk texts, and a few drunk calls. All of him sobbing his eyes out. It was so hard to sit and listen to that. I eventually muted him. The last thing he texted me was "Come tomorrow and get cats, I am going into a facility." Now since he has done this several times in the past, I didn'...

fm1 · fm1

New here, need some help or feedback. A few years ago, I began to suspect that my wifes drinking had escalated to the point of alcoholism. I thought of myself at the time as a moderate drinker, but now recognize that I was a problem drinker also, though my drinking was kept somewhat in check by the fact tha...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! I'm traveling with work this week, and my internet is rather spotty, so I'm using yesterday's sharing from the Today's Hope app. The share is about motives. The author reflects on how important it is to check their motives before taking action or speaking. Before springing into...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi all, I am now living with my stbex AH while we go through mediation. We are getting on pretty well now that we are not trying to maintain a marriage that just wasnt going to work . In fact he makes a better friend than husband. Thats all well and good but I am still trying to emotionally detach. I want t...

joker · joker

|First and foremost thanks to this message board. I have not been able to get to meetings as I have been sick, so this message board has been a life saver for me. Last night the ABF started drinking and I read a comment from a member, about using EAR PLUGS! Well, I did last night and it was a life saver, thank...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi everyone, Here's the thing .. I got in from work today and supposed to be packing to go on holiday tomorrow with AH. I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he was on one when I got home, and I couldn't do right for doing wrong. I let him get to me, he just seems to know how to push the right buttons to...

joker · joker

Addiction/Alcoholism are progressive and while some things present the same, many other things do not. What is usually consistent is denial and fantasy-land-living. This applies to both the alcoholic/addict as well as family member/friends. I read this on another post and I can so relate, fanta...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey everyone !! Hope all is OK with everyone...I have been busy trying to get more PT work for Tuesdays....Plus I need to re-home this little male pup I rescued some months back...3 is too much, especially when the male is so hyper and hard to work with...So my doggie rescue friend and I are looking for a (...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My parents lost their home of 41 years to the Cascade Fire in Yuba County, California. In the middle of the night on Sunday in to Monday they fled for their lives as the fire swept through their little town on 70-80 mile an hour winds. They lost everything but a tractor and a telescope. They are in their...

maria k · maria k

It was not what I expected. I pictured a small group, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, sharing each others' experiences with our loved one/ones with the drinking problem. Rather, the first 15 minutes of the meeting were spent taking turns reading word for word out of a book. Afterwards was sh...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So my AH is not "typical" alcoholic--more like a problem drinker. He drinks almost every evening anywhere from 2-6 beers. He gets loud, drunk swearing, talking at the TV (like a 50 year old frat boy). So I have been going to Al-Anon to help me cope with my anger, frustration,anxiety, etc over excess...

joker · joker

I would be a crappy partner... even if he gets sober one day. This is from another member and my goodness, this statement is so true to me. I just had an ah moment. Detachment, possible. Wake up call possible. I see what the therapist I had been seeing means. She says I am not marriage or relationship mater...

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading for October 17, speaks about how, unconsciously we can be directing and controlling of others. They offer examples such as, saying"it's almost time for church,get ready".," do not take the car out in this weather." It's almost time for sleep etc. The reading points out that these a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us learned to cope by either inaction, reaction, or some combination of both. As I was reading I -- I don't think 'doing nothing' was ever in my repetoire and then I thought again...how many situations have I been in when I kept my mouth shut but...

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

Lyne · Lyne

Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...

Jan S · Jan S

i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...

Old Soul Scorpio · Old Soul Scorpio

I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...

joker · joker

If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...

joker · joker

the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...

maria k · maria k

Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...

angelawang · angelawang

I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	new log on name (Preview) i had difficulty with my original log in name:"Hotrod" so I re established myself with a new account under the name" bettyk " I am deleting that account and will remain as" hotrod" going forward. Please direct any PM to hotrod Thanks	bettyk	0	448	Oct 26, 2017 by bettyk
	-see the pattern again (Preview) I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me. It is so darn hard tonight. My mind is projecting the worse outcome for the alcoholic. He starts a new job tomorrow, and he is drinking tonight. He says, he has anxiety. What a bunch of BS, will not admit he needs, needs with all his body, the alcohol. He needs to be i...	joker	6	577	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Coping (Preview) One thing I have realized in this crazy dance of addiction is no one dance is the same. A very long time good friend is seriously battling her set of crazy at the moment and I had slipped and been dragged into it. I'm not sorry I reached out to one of her other best friends and we are keeping each other appr...	SerenityRUS	2	639	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Binge drinking/disappearing (Preview) Hi guys! Iâm new and really need some advice or support. My partner and I have ha a few ups and downs and itâs down to his drinking. I knew when we met he liked a drink but then it got out of hand when he drank for weeks at a time. When we first got together he slept with someone else, albeit it was only two weeks we...	Leonatalie2	30	884	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	NEW and Unsure (Preview) Hello - I'm very new to this and unsure of how to begin. I don't have a long story to tell. I believe my husband is an alcoholic or, at the very least, an abuser. We have been married for 36 years. I love him so dearly but the past couple of years he's gotten worse. He isn't physically or verbally abusiv...	helloitsme	5	843	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change October 25 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author discusses one of their character defects: allowing things to happen and making choices passively. The author shares that even though they were so impacted by the effects of living with alcoholism that they were not able to ac...	Skorpi	3	668	Oct 25, 2017 by strong4me
	How to find the Step for the Fortnight? (Preview) Hi there everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon. I'm still learning to navigate around the forum to participate in the "New step each fortnight". I'm wondering if anyone can please tell me how to find it easily when logging in? thanks	Grace R	3	593	Oct 25, 2017 by hotrod
	today, I laughed (Preview) I know recovery is a lot of work. I have worked my but off at it, and I know its not over yet, recovery will always continue in my case. Recovery will never be over for me. Today, I laughed and laughed. It felt so good. It felt wonderful in fact. I have been dealing with crisis after crisis and it has taken its...	joker	5	541	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just My Day and Staying Hopeful (Preview) OK I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, my swollen painful gums or feelings I'm working through. Likely, it's some of each. I had an interview today. My education is recent - not very but relatively recent. It's rare that I have run into an opportunity that encompasses what I studied and with the sam...	tiredtonite	11	896	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is this love or codependence? (Preview) Hello All There I was battling along, but head above water..and then today I sank. After having enough of the alcoholism especially the emotional absence, I kicked him out (abf). I had very good reasons, including a physical attack and lots and lots of disloyalty and betrayal. But then today, he come...	lisa sa	12	762	Oct 24, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Just a Share... (Preview) A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!! She sent this to me today and I just wanted...	Iamhere	6	593	Oct 24, 2017 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 10-24-2017 (Preview) ODAT Reading for 10=24-2017 speaks about the simple fact that life is difficult. . Many admittedly go about expecting life to be entirely free of problems and are constantly disappointed. Alanon suggests that we use the smple tools in order to learn how to accept the difficult times and appr...	bettyk	4	481	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Level of Insanity .. (Preview) I seriously had to share this because it helps me see and sort through the insanity of the disease and not just his how it effects the whole family. Well, my XAH informed my daughter that he was graciously keeping her on child support and didn't have to because she is a student. State law in IL used to be th...	SerenityRUS	6	651	Oct 24, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Step Work Board Step 4 posted (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64049908/alanon-step-4-10-23-2017/	bettyk	1	461	Oct 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Toddler..had to share (Preview)	joker	5	613	Oct 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	C2C, 10/23 (Preview) Coping with a sober alcoholic: The writer discusses the expectations that were not met when the alcoholic he/she loved got sober. Some things became worse. The writer learned that he did not have to react with anger or claim to be right. He learned that he can detach and not doubt himself. The remi...	Lyne	3	604	Oct 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	What is keeping me from... (Preview) I am completing my Legal Separation papers this weekend, and plan on turning them in sometime next week. I have also been reading the posts on Separation vs Divorce. I am currently wondering why I am even considering a separation... why not make it a divorce? 6 years ago, I was in this same position... e...	PosiesandPuppies	6	686	Oct 23, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Children of alcoholic/divorce timing (Preview) Hi MIP family- just looking for some feedback from people whose parents divorce. Did the timing of when they told you make any particular impact besides just getting the bad news? Did they tell you after it was final? did they tell you at beginning of holiday season? Before legal proceeding? I kno...	BethBethBeth	8	884	Oct 23, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Oct 22 hope for today (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how making amends isn't necessarily apologizing to other people, but more about figuring out our part in situations (especially those that don't go very well). What I have noticed is that since I have come to alanon I am very attracted to those who are...	yanksfan51	8	638	Oct 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	how do you find the awakening? (Preview) I was wondering if anyone could find the awaken in	Hoot Nanny	2	527	Oct 22, 2017 by bettyk
	getting some sanity (Preview) I would like to share my progress. I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and 2 AA meetings (do not need it, but need insight). I had been feeling so angry, angry at alcoholism, what it did to me, as I grew up in it, and kept the cycle going. Maybe I finally see alcoholism in its true state, all its ugliness,...	joker	3	503	Oct 22, 2017 by bettyk
	Dropping in to say hi, the outside world's exhausting (Preview) Hi family. Man the unrecovering world is tiring. Feel like I need a mind bath lol. Stopping in to do so. Keep on keeping on every body!	a4l	7	607	Oct 22, 2017 by a4l
	In desperate need of help (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here. I have been looking for a support group that will understand what I'm going through. My friends and immediate family don't understand the nature of this illness that is Alcoholism. Most will just ask me to leave. I don't want to and I want to make things work between me and my A....	Fil0417	11	645	Oct 21, 2017 by Fil0417
	Do you believe in coincidences? (Preview) So if you are a baseball fan you know that the LA Dodgers are going to the Show... The World Series. Now, I am not a huge baseball fan, but my AH was a AAA ball player back in the day... so in our early marriage, sports were a big deal. In fact, the last time the Dodgers were in the World Series was 29 years ago. W...	PosiesandPuppies	6	710	Oct 21, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT Reading 10-21-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 21st speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and taking nobody else inventory but our own. The reading goes on to say that at first we are surprised to discover that sometimes we may be at fault and that our responses could have been different. Before program we o...	bettyk	5	627	Oct 21, 2017 by mamalioness
	12 step prayer book_Oct 20th 2017 (Preview) Todays entry goes into how self-seeking slips away...It reminds us to remember that not everything is about me me me....Non recovery folks think of themselves as their whole existence....Working the program, we learn understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharingIt asks that we have...	mamalioness	3	557	Oct 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	what am I grateful for of late??? (Preview) its been a sucky year, so more then ever, I need to dig out the gratitude list to stay positive my daughters are in good health I and my pets are all in good health even tho work is slower, my bills are paid and I got lots to eat in fridge and pantry I am learning more about compassion and consideration of other...	mamalioness	8	649	Oct 20, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/20/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP - happy Friday to one and all. So grateful we live one day at a time - my favorite NFL team LOST last night by 1 point! Truly --- I am over it. Today's reading talks about being present and practicing staying in the 'today'. The author discusses how, as a child, they would spend time and...	Iamhere	1	477	Oct 20, 2017 by bettyk
	Helping a Newbie... (Preview) Good Morning all. I'm new here and looking for some guidance/help. I'm from a family of alcoholics, a friend of alcoholics, and my husband and I are most likely alcoholics. I've lost a brother to alcohol and now feel like I am ready to lose another. My only surviving brother and my sister and niece w...	storygirl	11	730	Oct 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/19/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! Today's reading is about letting go and letting God. The author discusses an unexpected job relocation to a new city and one week to find a home. After 3 days of searching, worry and more happening, a meeting was needed. At the meeting, the author heard much needed ESH abou...	Iamhere	7	772	Oct 19, 2017 by bettyk
	Fear of failure fear of failure stress (Preview) Hi, MIP family. I haven't been posting much lately, and mostly things around me and my attitude has been good, been keeping busy. I want to say thanks to you all for being here, MIP has been and continues to be an important part of my recovery. One of the most important things I've gained through Alanon is...	Aline	7	6116	Oct 19, 2017 by Maresie25
	I don't have to win every battle (Preview) I used to think I had to win every battle...now , if I just cannot overcome, I walk away...let go...maybe permanently, maybe for a while...it depends....but the "banging my head against the wall" times are shorter case in point I am cleaning up my USB drives with my files, pics and movies and 2 are 2 tera...	mamalioness	2	710	Oct 19, 2017 by mamalioness
	Step 3 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 3 has been posted to theStep Work Board . Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64038144/a...	bettyk	1	631	Oct 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	New Awareness .. (Preview) I have to apologize for not being around things have been really blowing up and in some ways that's a good thing and in others .. it means I have come to a new realization in my own behavior which .. ugh .. seriously .. so not ok because I don't want to deal with this garbage from time to time. I had a big dawnin...	SerenityRUS	11	681	Oct 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	Quick hello to all (Preview) Hi to all of you! Its "hump day" Hope your Wednesday is going well. I am on to step four and have started to make an effort to work through answering the questions in this step. Each step has shown me that I really needed to come to this program so much sooner than I have, but I am so glad that I finally did. F...	mamakat71	3	649	Oct 18, 2017 by mamalioness
	Facility rejected my AH (Preview) So last night I got several drunk texts, and a few drunk calls. All of him sobbing his eyes out. It was so hard to sit and listen to that. I eventually muted him. The last thing he texted me was "Come tomorrow and get cats, I am going into a facility." Now since he has done this several times in the past, I didn'...	PosiesandPuppies	5	646	Oct 18, 2017 by Maresie25
	Please Help (Preview) New here, need some help or feedback. A few years ago, I began to suspect that my wifes drinking had escalated to the point of alcoholism. I thought of myself at the time as a moderate drinker, but now recognize that I was a problem drinker also, though my drinking was kept somewhat in check by the fact tha...	fm1	6	638	Oct 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	Today's Hope October 18 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! I'm traveling with work this week, and my internet is rather spotty, so I'm using yesterday's sharing from the Today's Hope app. The share is about motives. The author reflects on how important it is to check their motives before taking action or speaking. Before springing into...	Skorpi	4	514	Oct 18, 2017 by mamakat71
	Serenity now! (Preview) Hi all, I am now living with my stbex AH while we go through mediation. We are getting on pretty well now that we are not trying to maintain a marriage that just wasnt going to work . In fact he makes a better friend than husband. Thats all well and good but I am still trying to emotionally detach. I want t...	BethBethBeth	1	499	Oct 18, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	making progress (Preview) \|First and foremost thanks to this message board. I have not been able to get to meetings as I have been sick, so this message board has been a life saver for me. Last night the ABF started drinking and I read a comment from a member, about using EAR PLUGS! Well, I did last night and it was a life saver, thank...	joker	4	551	Oct 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Help I've really lost the plot this time (Preview) Hi everyone, Here's the thing .. I got in from work today and supposed to be packing to go on holiday tomorrow with AH. I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he was on one when I got home, and I couldn't do right for doing wrong. I let him get to me, he just seems to know how to push the right buttons to...	Lil99	4	1643	Oct 18, 2017 by Maresie
	fantasy land living (Preview) Addiction/Alcoholism are progressive and while some things present the same, many other things do not. What is usually consistent is denial and fantasy-land-living. This applies to both the alcoholic/addict as well as family member/friends. I read this on another post and I can so relate, fanta...	joker	3	731	Oct 18, 2017 by Maresie
	just stopping in to say "hey" to you all (Preview) Hey everyone !! Hope all is OK with everyone...I have been busy trying to get more PT work for Tuesdays....Plus I need to re-home this little male pup I rescued some months back...3 is too much, especially when the male is so hyper and hard to work with...So my doggie rescue friend and I are looking for a (...	mamalioness	4	767	Oct 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Prayers needed for my parents (Preview) My parents lost their home of 41 years to the Cascade Fire in Yuba County, California. In the middle of the night on Sunday in to Monday they fled for their lives as the fire swept through their little town on 70-80 mile an hour winds. They lost everything but a tractor and a telescope. They are in their...	Bethany66	10	685	Oct 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday (Preview) It was not what I expected. I pictured a small group, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, sharing each others' experiences with our loved one/ones with the drinking problem. Rather, the first 15 minutes of the meeting were spent taking turns reading word for word out of a book. Afterwards was sh...	maria k	17	2920	Oct 17, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Just want to pass something by you (Preview) So my AH is not "typical" alcoholic--more like a problem drinker. He drinks almost every evening anywhere from 2-6 beers. He gets loud, drunk swearing, talking at the TV (like a 50 year old frat boy). So I have been going to Al-Anon to help me cope with my anger, frustration,anxiety, etc over excess...	Dancer66	7	620	Oct 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	being a partner (Preview) I would be a crappy partner... even if he gets sober one day. This is from another member and my goodness, this statement is so true to me. I just had an ah moment. Detachment, possible. Wake up call possible. I see what the therapist I had been seeing means. She says I am not marriage or relationship mater...	joker	8	576	Oct 17, 2017 by Maresie25
	ODAT Reading 10-17-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 17, speaks about how, unconsciously we can be directing and controlling of others. They offer examples such as, saying"it's almost time for church,get ready".," do not take the car out in this weather." It's almost time for sleep etc. The reading points out that these a...	bettyk	2	430	Oct 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Oct 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us learned to cope by either inaction, reaction, or some combination of both. As I was reading I -- I don't think 'doing nothing' was ever in my repetoire and then I thought again...how many situations have I been in when I kept my mouth shut but...	yanksfan51	7	510	Oct 16, 2017 by DavidG
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	3	490	Oct 16, 2017 by maryjane
	C2C, 10/16 (Preview) Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...	Lyne	4	490	Oct 16, 2017 by mamakat71
	Signs my alcoholic is drinking again (Preview) i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...	Jan S	5	641	Oct 16, 2017 by Neroli
	Struggling with husband returning any advice (Preview) Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...	Jlilley	6	598	Oct 16, 2017 by Bettertomorrow
	I'm am idiot (Preview) I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...	Old Soul Scorpio	8	548	Oct 16, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hope for me (Preview) If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...	joker	2	423	Oct 16, 2017 by MeTwo2
	FUN (Preview) the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...	joker	0	437	Oct 15, 2017 by joker
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	1	423	Oct 15, 2017 by Dancer66
	A Good Thing (Preview) So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...	PosiesandPuppies	8	835	Oct 15, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	It is frustrating to not know what "normal" is (Preview) Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...	maria k	5	994	Oct 15, 2017 by DellaElle
	LOST newbie (Preview) I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...	angelawang	6	3779	Oct 15, 2017 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.