Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, For me letting go and letting god is a process. I would like to set the record straight on some things that have been typed out in the room to me while others are there that have been hurtful and inaccurate. This is for my recovery. You need not reply or even read this. What I a...

AlbertaCowboy · AlbertaCowboy

Thanks for all the kind wishes and support everyone has extended to me. As for my situation, things are still pretty unclear. My wife got home from rehab on Friday. She did not inform me when she would be back, she just appeared. This was a bit stressful as I had my children for the w...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I was helping my daughter study and we got to talking. She takes advanced Psycology in school and she had questioned me. I don't know the answer. I told her it was something to either question her teacher about or ask her councilor about. She was reading about Passive aggressive personality di...

Pebbles · Pebbles

Hi everyone. I'm new to this so I have a question. I have been to 5 f2f meetings and I just heard at the last one that we are supposed to work the 12 steps. To show you how new to this I am, I didn't know you "worked" the steps, I just thought you read them daily, or as the need arose. Ho...

melanieL · melanieL

my husband left me three years ago for another women who he has recently broken up with. He is an alcoholic and made my life hell for 12 years after which he left. Despite this I do and have always loved him deeply. He is now attending AA and is trying his best to be sober, but it is so so so hard for him. I st...

richard · richard

My ex-wife had this philosophy: Although she should not have to suffer the indignity of working for a living and thus not have much money, she still should be able to drive a Cadillac car. Scheming was her way of making that come true… always, 24 – 7 scheming. So, my son goes to an accountant and files for b...

bob6502 · bob6502

"We aren't perfect....After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understand...

search41 · search41

abby, in a very recent post you said, "A lot of a's dont feel they deserve to be loved so push away the people they love the most". i know this is true, but, could you elaborate on that thought? i am too close to the situation, and am the one being pushed away. i am sure i know the answer somew...

richard · richard

I am sorry that I have not been posting much lately. I have been going out to my favorite and beautiful State park and riding my trail bike and walking for exercise. With my physical medical condition, I do not have much time to spare for much activity. If I do one thing then I have to give up doing other thin...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Last night I decided I should control certain aspects of my life thinking it would make my life easier. For example, how my room looks, which is usually messy, and now I have decided to try and control how clean it is. The next thing I was going to control was my school life, meaning how well I did in s...

jj · jj

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerles...

cdb · cdb

Hello, I am just wondering how you are doing. Did your situation with your wife resolve itself? I hope things are going well for you. I have been thinking of you. your friend in recovery, cdb :)

Joat · Joat

"Let go, let God" is often said in Al-Anon. I'm not religious, and don't believe in anything even remotely like God, but I realized something about that saying that lets me get past the G word. The idea behind "Let go, let God" is that the more I try to control situations myself, and the more I try to ta...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Morning everyone, It is amazing how the weather can change the way we feel. It is another pretty day here in NJ. Its about time after so many weeks of rain or snow and gloom! It felt so good to open the windows and only wear a sweatshirt to work this morning. If it warms up even more, I will keep the babi...

cdb · cdb

Is there a general meeting again this Wednesday? And will the discussion and VOTE come up over if we can continue to give hugs, smiles, agrees, etc. during meetings? I got the impression that issue was tabled at the last meeting meaning left for the next meeting to be resolv...

katie · katie

Hi everyone, I am new to posting, but have been reading the forum for some time. My husband and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I have just recently asked him for a divorce and feel terribly guilty over the entire situation. I have concluded I no longer love him and do n...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, One of the things I enjoy at my job is the old timers I work with. Some of our drivers are older retired men from everything from the military to Wall Street. They all now drive a school bus as a way of making extra cash and keeping themselves busy. They also love to talk and tell stories, and I usually e...

megan · megan

Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject? this is exactly what is going on in my marriage. It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local h...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, Not feeling very proud of myself tonight. Boy did I take 100 steps backwards! I went to have the talk with my husband, it started out well enough, and then spiraled out of control. I had myself very calm, knew just what to say, and he was sober and at the begining friendly enough, then he just tur...

chris · chris

Hi i met a man three weeks ago that is 5 months sober. He goes to aa meetings.We are just starting to "date",build a friendship. Is there anything i can do to encourage or help him in his recovery??My moms been in the program 27 years (aa).dads still a drinking alcoholic so i'm not new to any of this. Just...

jj · jj

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference. It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!! We...

gardengal · gardengal

What we dont do is spend alot of time talkign about the alcholic. Instead, we learn to put the focus on ourselves. At first this approach may not seem to make much sense. After all,,it is often easier to recognize the A's problems than our own. Most of us feel certain that if only he or she would stop drinki...

dori · dori

    &nbs...

cdb · cdb

Hello again,,, I really just want to know if there is a general meeting this Wednesday (which I assume there is) , what time it is and what the agenda is. Will there still be a discussion or vote on etiquette at meetings? That is all I want to know. TY cdb

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I have a curiouse streak in me so I had to do a little research today. I am a little aprehensive about this marriage counciling my husband wants me to go to. First of all, he says he is going to pick the councilor, because he says he doesn't want me turning one against him before we start. He says he wa...

shimo · shimo

wallsal55 · wallsal55

There is a post on the AA message board under "Positively Negative" as to why the alcoholic drinks. Also, while you're there--there's another excellent post "Anger". Just recently attendend an Open AA speaker meeting. The speaker said alcohol was a rocket for him, a feel rea...

jessi · jessi

Hi all, I recently had a very spiritual experience and lesson with going through my feelings with a friend instead of around and want to share it here. I have a very dear friend in program with whom I spend a lot of time with. We just "get" each other and have great talks, laughs, etc. Anyhow, last...

Annie · Annie

Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile. I have to key this quickly as my laptop has been shutting down on me unpredictably. My A was in the hospital with his emphysema in December; then again in January; and again in February. He isn't doing very well w the emphysema--on oxygen--and ca...

New Member in Need of Encouragement · Mad4stevie

Hello to everyone here - I am glad to have finally been able to tap into the support and encouragement offered by Al-Anon via a message board. I don't have an Al-Anon group that is close to my home, so I am looking in this area for some guidance, support and encouragement. I am familiar with the 12 step...

jj · jj

So I had my dental surgery and made it through it fine. I am very sore as it was pretty invasive and I must say my husband has been home everynight keeping an eye on me. Tonight after work he went out which I had expected and I am fine with, however he brought home a friend and they are currently passed out on my...

fiona123 · fiona123

YOU DID IT ! I'm so proud of you ! You DID it ...I am so glad this part is done and only sorry to see you must endure one more ordeal This happened to me to ...007 spewed lie after lie ...I was feeling so scared and desperate ...I needed the support to survive ... I was so...

jb · jb

I have not been to a alanon meeting for a few years and I am struggling with issues I am having with a family member. I have not had a relationship with him in almost 10 years and do not want to have a relationship with him but the a in my life has a relationship with him and wants me to have a relati...

dot · dot

Hi all - Step Ten is posted on the Step Board. How about some of you sharing how Step Ten works in your life. We need your support. Love in Recovery - Dot

missyg · missyg

I'm so confused. My A, husband, is being discharged from his "detox" hospital tomorrow after more thant 2 weeks there. He has an appointment first thing Monday to a "rehab" hospital, where they will decide what kind of program he needs - inpatient, outpatient, partial treatment, what...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, My husbands paycheck goes into our joint checking by direct deposit. I then transfer it to an account in my name only that he has no access to. His father had spoken to me and said that he worries about the bills, so while he is with them, at least for now, I should take the whole pay, they will give hi...

cah · cah

I would really appreciate some experience, strength and hope. My husband, the a, got his first DUI on Mon night. He was on his way to get a job in a different state 9 hours away. Well, he can't now, cause he has no license. He has to go back to where he got arrested next Wed to appear in c...

Jill · Jill

It feels wrong to sit through a meeting and hear Happy Easter repeated throughout the meeting. It makes me feel as if AlAnon is aligned with one religion. I know it's not. I want newcomers to know everyone is welcome, including people who do not celebrate Easter. I can't tell if I'm borrowing distres...

De Anna · De Anna

There's a 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water, how do you see it? 1/2 full (hope for tomorrow) or 1/2 empty (depressed from yesterday) or just what you need, no more, no less, but with plenty of room for those rocky moments so you don't spill any! I onl...

babs · babs

I've made the mistake in leaving my post board open, so my nickname is known. I've tried to re-register in a new name, but it won't let me. It states that the email address is already in use. Can anyone help me, I know I'll be starting over but I really want the privacy of a new name, with...

hockeydal · hockeydal

I got your message and responded to you from work but don't have your email here, please send me another message with it I really need to talk with you. Fondly Hockeydal

hockeydal · hockeydal

Hello friends, Haven't been around here in a bit. My life has been put on hold it seems. My husband - I think that is what he is, has basically left us. He came home from treatment for 2 days after lying about when he was getting out and after the 2 days left and moved into his mom...

debilyn · debilyn

I was thinking that when I don't feel good, that is when I get a glimpse of the resentment and anger inside. Want to call the A and say why don't you come out here and finish the job I payed you to do.When I feel good I would not do that. I would know it is the disease keeping him from doing what he says he will do...

Ava · Ava

Hey everyone Just a wee update on situation at home. Big changes ahead, future uncertain, but thats OK with me. Our beautiful family home in 'Green Bay' (Yes its as lovely as it sounds) has sold and the new owners cant wait to move in next Friday grrrrrr. A i...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Hi, One version of my story is under jfoy's post--if you care to read it. A month ago, I sat down with a wonderful alanon friend and told her my woman to woman, heart to heart stuff. Let me tell you, I knew that my head had it, but my heart didn't for a long,long time. Then...

luv123 · luv123

Self care tools 2 live by At meeting this morning related to the topic of making decisions and also the mention of serenity prayer as a guide it is a tremendous tool 4 making decisions and clarifying what is mine and what belongs to someone else, it helps me a lot. At times, I don’t feel I have the w...

nycbt · nycbt

I haven't posted here in a while. I am doing very good since the last time I posted. My husband is now sober for over 56 days. I have gotten a sponsor. The thing that I am having a problem is control, it is a major problem. I am having a hard time with it. My husband is trying to get more indpendence to get better...

babs · babs

Hey to all I didn't realize that if you don't "LOG OUT", anyone who comes after you can then click onto the web site, & into your posts & personal page. They also would know your nickname because it says it as "LOGGED IN AS.......--" If you haven't been logging out, change your passwo...

search41 · search41

Hey friends...(the few of you whose names i even recognize anymore, plus all the newcomers!) I am getting a crash course education in "no expectations" the last 2 weeks. but i'm not "responding" all too well. i'm reacting, and very hurt and very angry. my A husband got his first drun...

joeygirl · joeygirl

I wanted to say that I am so thankful for this website and for all of your sharings. Like all have known I am seperated from my A and I love him dearly. He is in his very last stage of his disease and living with his parents. My son who loves his dad is visiting over Easter break and my a just...

freckles · freckles

Hello, I am new here, and I am looking for some advice. After 15 years, I bit the bullet and separated from my A. a year and a half ago. He jumped right into another relationship with a girl 17years his junior. For the last year or so, he has been kinda calling me up every once in a w...

cah · cah

My husband, an alcoholic, has decided that he needs to leave, and go work in TX (where he is from and is about 8-10 hours away). When we first discussed it, I got knots in my stomach, because of the uncertainty of it and the fear of change (he has been out of work for 2 years now, and has been pretty consis...

babs · babs

Hi, anyone know the difference? I was encouraged to read "The big book" but I also see "The big book, the companion for AA".

Lanchas · Lanchas

I have checked out more books that I reccommend for others to read. If you want to know what books just ask. Lanchas

nmike · nmike

Can anyone help? We have a very small Alanon Family Group in a rural area. We are missing some of the guidelines for leading a meeting. At other meetings, I know that they have the sheets to follow such as the "Alanon Preamble", meeting topics, suggested closing, suggested prayers, etc. Where can I get...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi, hon it depends on the amount the truck is when you buy it and who finances it for you. Be careful, have a knowledgeable man or woman with you when you look for one. I love my older truck. I hope you find the vehicle ya need. You can check out the best ones on the net. love,debilyn

missyg · missyg

In the past I've mostly just read other people's posts, but since my A has decided to make some major changes in his life, I decided I should probably do the same. After ten years together, five married, I've watched him spend the majority of him time drinking, smoking pot, doing coke, and abusin...

debilyn · debilyn

? No you silly, it is only they way you took it. I honestly did not understand what you were saying. I still don't. I thought maybe you accidently got me mixed up with some one else. You started the post with "Gretchen" for petes sake. I don't do sharp retorts, is not my style at all. I have told yo...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi, Do you remember me?? It has been a long time, since I have posted on this message board. I had the hardest time to find the message board again, and especially to register under the name I had used before. I saw John's name, and I knew that I was back to the message board I knew so w...

cdb · cdb

Hello Hockedal, If you are around, please let me know how you are doing? I think of you often and am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. cdb

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Gossip: Setting the record straight (Preview) Hello friends, For me letting go and letting god is a process. I would like to set the record straight on some things that have been typed out in the room to me while others are there that have been hurtful and inaccurate. This is for my recovery. You need not reply or even read this. What I a...	cdb	9	1445	Apr 8, 2005 by jj
	an update (Preview) Thanks for all the kind wishes and support everyone has extended to me. As for my situation, things are still pretty unclear. My wife got home from rehab on Friday. She did not inform me when she would be back, she just appeared. This was a bit stressful as I had my children for the w...	AlbertaCowboy	8	1144	Apr 7, 2005 by AlbertaCowboy
	PAPD? (Preview) Hi, I was helping my daughter study and we got to talking. She takes advanced Psycology in school and she had questioned me. I don't know the answer. I told her it was something to either question her teacher about or ask her councilor about. She was reading about Passive aggressive personality di...	Jeannie	10	1575	Apr 7, 2005 by Jeannie
	12 Steps (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to this so I have a question. I have been to 5 f2f meetings and I just heard at the last one that we are supposed to work the 12 steps. To show you how new to this I am, I didn't know you "worked" the steps, I just thought you read them daily, or as the need arose. Ho...	Pebbles	8	1652	Apr 7, 2005 by Pebbles
	Help with my ex (Preview) my husband left me three years ago for another women who he has recently broken up with. He is an alcoholic and made my life hell for 12 years after which he left. Despite this I do and have always loved him deeply. He is now attending AA and is trying his best to be sober, but it is so so so hard for him. I st...	melanieL	6	1394	Apr 7, 2005 by cdb
	Traits of son's mom in son... (Preview) My ex-wife had this philosophy: Although she should not have to suffer the indignity of working for a living and thus not have much money, she still should be able to drive a Cadillac car. Scheming was her way of making that come true… always, 24 – 7 scheming. So, my son goes to an accountant and files for b...	richard	1	1079	Apr 7, 2005 by cdb
	Gossip (Preview) "We aren't perfect....After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understand...	bob6502	4	1272	Apr 7, 2005 by buzzfree
	abbyal-a question... (Preview) abby, in a very recent post you said, "A lot of a's dont feel they deserve to be loved so push away the people they love the most". i know this is true, but, could you elaborate on that thought? i am too close to the situation, and am the one being pushed away. i am sure i know the answer somew...	search41	10	2467	Apr 6, 2005 by search41
	My son... (Preview) I am sorry that I have not been posting much lately. I have been going out to my favorite and beautiful State park and riding my trail bike and walking for exercise. With my physical medical condition, I do not have much time to spare for much activity. If I do one thing then I have to give up doing other thin...	richard	5	1115	Apr 6, 2005 by richard
	Acting Controlling (Preview) Last night I decided I should control certain aspects of my life thinking it would make my life easier. For example, how my room looks, which is usually messy, and now I have decided to try and control how clean it is. The next thing I was going to control was my school life, meaning how well I did in s...	Lanchas	9	1543	Apr 6, 2005 by Maria123
	Letting go, good but long (Preview) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off; it is the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerles...	jj	3	1697	Apr 6, 2005 by Pebbles
	Alberta Cowboy (Preview) Hello, I am just wondering how you are doing. Did your situation with your wife resolve itself? I hope things are going well for you. I have been thinking of you. your friend in recovery, cdb :)	cdb	4	1141	Apr 6, 2005 by AlbertaCowboy
	Letting Go Without God (Preview) "Let go, let God" is often said in Al-Anon. I'm not religious, and don't believe in anything even remotely like God, but I realized something about that saying that lets me get past the G word. The idea behind "Let go, let God" is that the more I try to control situations myself, and the more I try to ta...	Joat	7	2410	Apr 6, 2005 by Lanchas
	Welcome back sun! (Preview) Morning everyone, It is amazing how the weather can change the way we feel. It is another pretty day here in NJ. Its about time after so many weeks of rain or snow and gloom! It felt so good to open the windows and only wear a sweatshirt to work this morning. If it warms up even more, I will keep the babi...	Jeannie	1	1127	Apr 6, 2005 by megan
	Meeting on VOTE for hugs, etc.?? (Preview) Is there a general meeting again this Wednesday? And will the discussion and VOTE come up over if we can continue to give hugs, smiles, agrees, etc. during meetings? I got the impression that issue was tabled at the last meeting meaning left for the next meeting to be resolv...	cdb	17	1575	Apr 6, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Newbie with a long vent (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to posting, but have been reading the forum for some time. My husband and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I have just recently asked him for a divorce and feel terribly guilty over the entire situation. I have concluded I no longer love him and do n...	katie	6	1300	Apr 6, 2005 by jj
	Talk with a recovering A (very long) (Preview) Hi, One of the things I enjoy at my job is the old timers I work with. Some of our drivers are older retired men from everything from the military to Wall Street. They all now drive a school bus as a way of making extra cash and keeping themselves busy. They also love to talk and tell stories, and I usually e...	Jeannie	3	1432	Apr 5, 2005 by bcanuck
	Power and Control in relationships (Preview) Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject? this is exactly what is going on in my marriage. It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local h...	megan	3	1338	Apr 5, 2005 by cdb
	Talk with my husband (Preview) Hi, Not feeling very proud of myself tonight. Boy did I take 100 steps backwards! I went to have the talk with my husband, it started out well enough, and then spiraled out of control. I had myself very calm, knew just what to say, and he was sober and at the begining friendly enough, then he just tur...	Jeannie	13	2220	Apr 5, 2005 by Merlynn
	new friend is newly sober...... (Preview) Hi i met a man three weeks ago that is 5 months sober. He goes to aa meetings.We are just starting to "date",build a friendship. Is there anything i can do to encourage or help him in his recovery??My moms been in the program 27 years (aa).dads still a drinking alcoholic so i'm not new to any of this. Just...	chris	4	1335	Apr 5, 2005 by abbyal
	Pushing buttons (Preview) God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference. It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!! We...	jj	11	2305	Apr 5, 2005 by Jeannie
	CHANGING OUR FOCUS (Preview) What we dont do is spend alot of time talkign about the alcholic. Instead, we learn to put the focus on ourselves. At first this approach may not seem to make much sense. After all,,it is often easier to recognize the A's problems than our own. Most of us feel certain that if only he or she would stop drinki...	gardengal	4	1271	Apr 5, 2005 by megan
	a tribute (Preview)     &nbs...	dori	6	1165	Apr 5, 2005 by TLC2
	What is the agenda for wednesday's meeting? (Preview) Hello again,,, I really just want to know if there is a general meeting this Wednesday (which I assume there is) , what time it is and what the agenda is. Will there still be a discussion or vote on etiquette at meetings? That is all I want to know. TY cdb	cdb	2	1063	Apr 5, 2005 by cdb
	Counceling (Preview) Hi, I have a curiouse streak in me so I had to do a little research today. I am a little aprehensive about this marriage counciling my husband wants me to go to. First of all, he says he is going to pick the councilor, because he says he doesn't want me turning one against him before we start. He says he wa...	Jeannie	5	1520	Apr 5, 2005 by De Anna
	BUS MTG AGENDA - APRIL 6/05 (Preview)	shimo	0	1148	Apr 5, 2005 by shimo
	Why They Drink? (Preview) There is a post on the AA message board under "Positively Negative" as to why the alcoholic drinks. Also, while you're there--there's another excellent post "Anger". Just recently attendend an Open AA speaker meeting. The speaker said alcohol was a rocket for him, a feel rea...	wallsal55	4	1426	Apr 4, 2005 by sanddie
	going through, not around (Preview) Hi all, I recently had a very spiritual experience and lesson with going through my feelings with a friend instead of around and want to share it here. I have a very dear friend in program with whom I spend a lot of time with. We just "get" each other and have great talks, laughs, etc. Anyhow, last...	jessi	5	1247	Apr 4, 2005 by jj
	me again (Preview) Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile. I have to key this quickly as my laptop has been shutting down on me unpredictably. My A was in the hospital with his emphysema in December; then again in January; and again in February. He isn't doing very well w the emphysema--on oxygen--and ca...	Annie	5	1349	Apr 4, 2005 by megan
	New Member in Need of Encouragement (Preview) Hello to everyone here - I am glad to have finally been able to tap into the support and encouragement offered by Al-Anon via a message board. I don't have an Al-Anon group that is close to my home, so I am looking in this area for some guidance, support and encouragement. I am familiar with the 12 step...	Mad4stevie	10	1333	Apr 4, 2005 by megan
	confused (Preview) So I had my dental surgery and made it through it fine. I am very sore as it was pretty invasive and I must say my husband has been home everynight keeping an eye on me. Tonight after work he went out which I had expected and I am fine with, however he brought home a friend and they are currently passed out on my...	jj	11	1566	Apr 4, 2005 by megan
	HUGS for Garden Gal ! (Preview) YOU DID IT ! I'm so proud of you ! You DID it ...I am so glad this part is done and only sorry to see you must endure one more ordeal This happened to me to ...007 spewed lie after lie ...I was feeling so scared and desperate ...I needed the support to survive ... I was so...	fiona123	3	1016	Apr 4, 2005 by gardengal
	away too long (Preview) I have not been to a alanon meeting for a few years and I am struggling with issues I am having with a family member. I have not had a relationship with him in almost 10 years and do not want to have a relationship with him but the a in my life has a relationship with him and wants me to have a relati...	jb	2	1013	Apr 4, 2005 by debilyn
	Step Board (Preview) Hi all - Step Ten is posted on the Step Board. How about some of you sharing how Step Ten works in your life. We need your support. Love in Recovery - Dot	dot	0	1068	Apr 3, 2005 by dot
	How involved in recovery? (Preview) I'm so confused. My A, husband, is being discharged from his "detox" hospital tomorrow after more thant 2 weeks there. He has an appointment first thing Monday to a "rehab" hospital, where they will decide what kind of program he needs - inpatient, outpatient, partial treatment, what...	missyg	7	1381	Apr 3, 2005 by missyg
	Attention (Preview) Hi, My husbands paycheck goes into our joint checking by direct deposit. I then transfer it to an account in my name only that he has no access to. His father had spoken to me and said that he worries about the bills, so while he is with them, at least for now, I should take the whole pay, they will give hi...	Jeannie	8	2096	Apr 3, 2005 by cdb
	getting better and worse (Preview) I would really appreciate some experience, strength and hope. My husband, the a, got his first DUI on Mon night. He was on his way to get a job in a different state 9 hours away. Well, he can't now, cause he has no license. He has to go back to where he got arrested next Wed to appear in c...	cah	10	1691	Apr 3, 2005 by cah
	religious references at meetings (Preview) It feels wrong to sit through a meeting and hear Happy Easter repeated throughout the meeting. It makes me feel as if AlAnon is aligned with one religion. I know it's not. I want newcomers to know everyone is welcome, including people who do not celebrate Easter. I can't tell if I'm borrowing distres...	Jill	8	1569	Apr 3, 2005 by Jill
	something I think about.... (Preview) There's a 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water, how do you see it? 1/2 full (hope for tomorrow) or 1/2 empty (depressed from yesterday) or just what you need, no more, no less, but with plenty of room for those rocky moments so you don't spill any! I onl...	De Anna	2	1134	Apr 3, 2005 by jj
	can anyone help in changing name (Preview) I've made the mistake in leaving my post board open, so my nickname is known. I've tried to re-register in a new name, but it won't let me. It states that the email address is already in use. Can anyone help me, I know I'll be starting over but I really want the privacy of a new name, with...	babs	2	1251	Apr 2, 2005 by Mark S
	Attention cdb (Preview) I got your message and responded to you from work but don't have your email here, please send me another message with it I really need to talk with you. Fondly Hockeydal	hockeydal	4	1302	Apr 2, 2005 by cdb
	Alone again (Preview) Hello friends, Haven't been around here in a bit. My life has been put on hold it seems. My husband - I think that is what he is, has basically left us. He came home from treatment for 2 days after lying about when he was getting out and after the 2 days left and moved into his mom...	hockeydal	5	1194	Apr 2, 2005 by marissa
	Just thoughts (Preview) I was thinking that when I don't feel good, that is when I get a glimpse of the resentment and anger inside. Want to call the A and say why don't you come out here and finish the job I payed you to do.When I feel good I would not do that. I would know it is the disease keeping him from doing what he says he will do...	debilyn	8	1141	Apr 2, 2005 by search41
	The Big Move (Preview) Hey everyone Just a wee update on situation at home. Big changes ahead, future uncertain, but thats OK with me. Our beautiful family home in 'Green Bay' (Yes its as lovely as it sounds) has sold and the new owners cant wait to move in next Friday grrrrrr. A i...	Ava	3	1336	Apr 2, 2005 by abbyal
	My Story / my being sick (Preview) Hi, One version of my story is under jfoy's post--if you care to read it. A month ago, I sat down with a wonderful alanon friend and told her my woman to woman, heart to heart stuff. Let me tell you, I knew that my head had it, but my heart didn't for a long,long time. Then...	wallsal55	3	1224	Apr 1, 2005 by luv123
	self-care tools (Preview) Self care tools 2 live by At meeting this morning related to the topic of making decisions and also the mention of serenity prayer as a guide it is a tremendous tool 4 making decisions and clarifying what is mine and what belongs to someone else, it helps me a lot. At times, I don’t feel I have the w...	luv123	3	1199	Apr 1, 2005 by luv123
	LEARNING STEP ONE (Preview) I haven't posted here in a while. I am doing very good since the last time I posted. My husband is now sober for over 56 days. I have gotten a sponsor. The thing that I am having a problem is control, it is a major problem. I am having a hard time with it. My husband is trying to get more indpendence to get better...	nycbt	3	1360	Apr 1, 2005 by jessi
	want privacy? (Preview) Hey to all I didn't realize that if you don't "LOG OUT", anyone who comes after you can then click onto the web site, & into your posts & personal page. They also would know your nickname because it says it as "LOGGED IN AS.......--" If you haven't been logging out, change your passwo...	babs	0	1238	Apr 1, 2005 by babs
	How Do You Be Nice? (Preview) Hey friends...(the few of you whose names i even recognize anymore, plus all the newcomers!) I am getting a crash course education in "no expectations" the last 2 weeks. but i'm not "responding" all too well. i'm reacting, and very hurt and very angry. my A husband got his first drun...	search41	15	1473	Apr 1, 2005 by Ava
	alcoholism the family disease (Preview) I wanted to say that I am so thankful for this website and for all of your sharings. Like all have known I am seperated from my A and I love him dearly. He is in his very last stage of his disease and living with his parents. My son who loves his dad is visiting over Easter break and my a just...	joeygirl	3	1430	Apr 1, 2005 by lebe27
	Children's visiting their father (Preview) Hello, I am new here, and I am looking for some advice. After 15 years, I bit the bullet and separated from my A. a year and a half ago. He jumped right into another relationship with a girl 17years his junior. For the last year or so, he has been kinda calling me up every once in a w...	freckles	6	1608	Apr 1, 2005 by abbyal
	not sure what to do (Preview) My husband, an alcoholic, has decided that he needs to leave, and go work in TX (where he is from and is about 8-10 hours away). When we first discussed it, I got knots in my stomach, because of the uncertainty of it and the fear of change (he has been out of work for 2 years now, and has been pretty consis...	cah	5	1262	Mar 31, 2005 by abbyal
	big book? vs companion big book (Preview) Hi, anyone know the difference? I was encouraged to read "The big book" but I also see "The big book, the companion for AA".	babs	2	1009	Mar 31, 2005 by babs
	Literature (Preview) I have checked out more books that I reccommend for others to read. If you want to know what books just ask. Lanchas	Lanchas	2	1047	Mar 31, 2005 by Lanchas
	Alanon Meeting Literature? (Preview) Can anyone help? We have a very small Alanon Family Group in a rural area. We are missing some of the guidelines for leading a meeting. At other meetings, I know that they have the sheets to follow such as the "Alanon Preamble", meeting topics, suggested closing, suggested prayers, etc. Where can I get...	nmike	2	1209	Mar 31, 2005 by GammyRose
	Megan (Preview) Hi, hon it depends on the amount the truck is when you buy it and who finances it for you. Be careful, have a knowledgeable man or woman with you when you look for one. I love my older truck. I hope you find the vehicle ya need. You can check out the best ones on the net. love,debilyn	debilyn	3	1260	Mar 31, 2005 by megan
	NEW LISTENER (Preview) In the past I've mostly just read other people's posts, but since my A has decided to make some major changes in his life, I decided I should probably do the same. After ten years together, five married, I've watched him spend the majority of him time drinking, smoking pot, doing coke, and abusin...	missyg	4	1240	Mar 31, 2005 by dot
	dear richard (Preview) ? No you silly, it is only they way you took it. I honestly did not understand what you were saying. I still don't. I thought maybe you accidently got me mixed up with some one else. You started the post with "Gretchen" for petes sake. I don't do sharp retorts, is not my style at all. I have told yo...	debilyn	1	1109	Mar 30, 2005 by richard
	still in the process of recovery (Preview) Hi, Do you remember me?? It has been a long time, since I have posted on this message board. I had the hardest time to find the message board again, and especially to register under the name I had used before. I saw John's name, and I knew that I was back to the message board I knew so w...	teddybear	12	1696	Mar 30, 2005 by teddybear
	Hockeydal,,,,, (Preview) Hello Hockedal, If you are around, please let me know how you are doing? I think of you often and am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. cdb	cdb	1	1137	Mar 30, 2005 by cdb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.