Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Phil

What is patience? Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are sl...

GirlSkates · GirlSkates

I am busy reminding myself that "I am powerless over my husband's alchohol". It's a new mantra...trying to get used to it. He called from the road last night (he travels for work often) and I caught a hint of it in his mood,...and his tone. I know the sound...I suppose we all do. So the...

nycbt · nycbt

I have a problem with my self-esteem. Before Alanon I would have a very hard time dealing with changes. I am trying to do alittle better with that. My husband has gotten his license and is now driving my car which is good, but I have less control over him. I know that is why I get upset when he takes the car....

Phil · Phil

What is insecurity? Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of b...

jj · jj

I have all 12 steps posted below, please keep in mind that I found this in naranon but it is the same program, just replacing addict with alcoholic. Addiction is addiction. This has helpped me out with working my program and I hope it helps others here. JJ Step One We admitted we were...

Powerless · Powerless

I am feeling so frustrated and angry today. The therapist came again on Friday and husband claimed to be clean for two weeks. I guess he forgot about the week he smoked last weekend and this week. Today I counted my Klonopin (My doctor gives them to me to sleep) and noticed that four a...

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

Well I talked to a counsler yesterday and she gave me a number for husband that he could call and make an appointment to be seen and she gave me some good guidence on how to approach him with it. That is what I did today. I couldn't hold my feelings any longer on how his drinking affects me.(although I know I s...

Trish · Trish

I have been in a al anon program for 13 months and I have been helping my a with going to meeting all. Now I think that it is time for me to start working the program for me. In my area there is one meeting a week and I don't feel right in there so that is why I look online for a meeting room. I have been told to work th...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, I am still out of town helping my parents. I plan to stay with them longer to help them get settled into their cabin too in Canada. We plan to leave to Canada on Thursday. I am not sure if I will have a computer to use there yet or not but will sure come online if I find one to use. This visit has b...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I am working on the 12 steps. I need help with them. Is someone willing to hlep me? Lanchas

angel123 · angel123

Step One: RELAX-> I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX-> I can simply believe that somone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX-> I can easily turn my whole life and well-being over to God, as I understan...

Belongtome · Belongtome

My A has one year sobriety under his belt...and I must say I'm no longer afraid of the physical contact, but it's been a rough year verbally. This past year I opened a retail shop, and that's been my salvation...some time to myself. Since I'm inside all day, yesterday I started going to a tannin...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi, If I am feeling angry, I do not have to take my anger out on others in a destructive way, and I do not have the right. If my usual response is to scream, sulk or to lash out with cruel words, today I can find a new solution of what works for me when I get mad. I can start to see new ways to handle m...

GirlSkates · GirlSkates

hi all - my first post. My first al-anon meeting last night. And I keep thinking, "maybe I am blowing this out of porportion, maybe I am wrong...mabye I really dont need this" I don't think that is the case. I don't know anymore.

jessi · jessi

Hi all, I need your prayers and love like never before. I find myself in a position in which a former crush of mine and a current attraction of mine have decided to hook up. Both have expressed a willingness to not even pursue anything if it means losing my friendship. I feel completely...

Powerless · Powerless

You are wonderfully wonderful. I have felt so welcome and you having a calming effect onme. You all have opened my eyes and helped me to believe that the desire I feel to change is not for nothing. Believe it or not, the slogans are my favorite. Someone told me last night durin...

megan · megan

I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour. I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim I don't miss living in the insanity at all. My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder....

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

I keep asking my self that. Husband keeps saying that he wants/ needs help with his drinking, but hasn't took that step to do so. Meanwhile I'm here still dealing with his drinking. My anger is building and my sadness when I look at him I'm finding more difficult to control. I can't help but feel like I nee...

Newbee · Newbee

I was shocked when I told my A sister that I went to Alanon and she was so mad at me! She has admitted to being an A and has gone to 2 AA meetings and was sober for about 2 weeks, but then went back to it and had a bad drunk in front of her kids and friends, etc and is now very upset, ashamed, etc....

Phil · Phil

We often use the expression "good self-esteem, "poor" self-esteem or "no" self-esteem. How does one "esteem" the self and what is the self anyway? Esteem involves loving respect and dignified caring. What of the self? We come into the world with it; it follows us through life like a shadow. If we lose...

nal · nal

Hi, Today I'm feeling a little sad, and I have that familiar knot in my stomach. My dad is my A (alcohol and pills), he has been attending AA daily for about eighteen months and as far as I know has been sober. My mother is a codependent without a program. Last night she was tel...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." --Helen Keller

Samena · Samena

Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again!&n...

AngelBearPoet · AngelBearPoet

I am sorry to say I will not be able to chair the meeting.. The place where I meet for my F2F will be painting the room we meet in.. I am on the paint commity for this.. We will be meeting up there early and painting all morning till the 2pm F2F meeting starts.. Them meeting in another room for that and then pain...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, Phil posted this on the AA board and I found it very interesting. I hope he doesn't mind but I copied it here. THE RELATIONSHIP DUET The Dance of Intimacy By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT The relationship duet the dance of intimacy that all couples do. If one partner moves in, the other...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, I find myself reciting the closing prayer like I use to say the pledge of allegence when i was a kid in school. It becomes a ritual and I loose the meaning of the words, and just say the words. I have found that a new twist on the same words can help me to bring that meaning back to them and r...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi Everyone I haven't been on this message board in a long time. I have been going to face to face. I have been talking to my new friends from Alanon. I have learn alot of things. My husband has gotten his license and in the begin I was very upset about the change. I have learn to deal with it better. I have be...

richard · richard

…and my God gently laughed. I have not been here for awhile. I have not been here for two reasons or so I thought. Now it seems there is there has been only one. I have been enjoying the heck out of myself by going to a beautiful State park and riding my trail bike eight very hilly miles around the big beautifu...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Been reading your posts and I want to thank you for sharing. Yes, my spouse is now back in AA, 4 month sobriety, saw him start to teeter, and wondered if he would stop meetings. He did go to an "open" AA dinner last night, and he then went to a meeting last night. Someone in...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi Everyone, I am feeling sad today, because yesterday I spoke to my oldest son, and he started speaking against my younger son. I told him that we don't throw stones, when we live in a glass house. He was talking against my youngest son, telling me that he was drinking yesterday, that...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

" A racehorse has to run, A bird has to fly, An artist has to paint, A teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do. All that is left to do, do it." --(in closing) from Self Matters, by Dr. Phil McGraw ...

debilyn · debilyn

hi, first Phil, we learn best when we really feel the pain. I am not sorry I went over there. I had wanted to all day. It was very ok. I just am very easily hurt, but you know I was given a gift. I found out what kind of person I am. Hp helped me. I did not do any revenge if she would have come out and yelled or tri...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi, I would like to share my experience about how change does become possible when I stay in my own reality, and work on myself. My son has been going from one relationship to another, he had found someone with whom he felt was the right person for him. He felt good about her, since he knew that&...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh fell out of a tram on his way to a game. Soccer in the UK I believe it is. Now he is TBI (traumatic brain injury) Thank you for your thoughts n dreams n prayers to his life cycle. \/\/ille

gardengal · gardengal

There are many times when I doubt the existance of anything that cares what goes on in this world, let alone in my life. Being agnostic, doubt comes easily to me, belief is difficult. But when I think of how someone guided me to Alanon, when my life was at its darkest, I reflect on times when the words and...

holly123 · holly123

Hi All, Yesterday I got a chance, before my a took off for the day with someone else and got drunk, to talk to him and tell him that I didn't believe he was a bad father but that he needed to realize that we really need him around and not to be drunk and annoying. I got to tel...

kimmie · kimmie

well this morning we (my husband and I) meet my parents at a really nice hotel on the water to have brunch. we have our 2 yr old son with us and i am pregnant with the next. there is bottomless champaign served with brunch and my husband has a couple glasses. i figured we were in th...

debalina36 · debalina36

It has been quite a while since I have posted last and a lot has happened. These past 2 weeks have been the worst. My husbands job had a fire in the area where he worked resulting in a lay off for a few days which turned into a drinking binge for him. I am now working nights until the new guy is trained and that...

debilyn · debilyn

A called me. He had hocked his telecaster. A very expensive antique like guitar. Said if I can't get it, it is gone. Well it is suppose to go to our son, so I took my savings to get MY wedding ring out of hcck, and got it. He was so ashamed, he made me promise not to tell our son what he had done. He was sob...

jkiss03 · jkiss03

I just want to express my sorrow I guess. I am feeling so totally sad,hurt and betrayed. My A asked me tonight to move out. He has told me to leave many times but this time it was different. My daughter, baby son and I are leaving tomorrow. The weird thing is I now have nothing. I mean literly nothing. No job,...

Phil · Phil

Have you ever tried to love someone, but you could feel their emotional walls? You can feel them not letting you in. You can feel the little person trapped inside. Or have you ever felt somebody trying to get to you, but you can feel yourself stopping it? This is how most of us experience relationships. T...

Newbee · Newbee

Just went to my first Al-anon meeting last night. Boy was that hard! I have been reading the posts on this board and am starting to understand how this "self help" stuff could possibly work. But I have a few questions: 1) I have heard about the "detach with love" philosophy, but ob...

lil_feathered_one · lil_feathered_one

Hello all, Had a rough night last night and need to get a few things off my chest. So it begins.... I had to work last night, left kids with hubby. Heck he had told me earlier in the week that it was time that he needed help. Finally I thought I could calm down even if just a little bit. I even asked him if he w...

whatif · whatif

We were supposed to spend the day together. My A and I. I always get such high hopes. This morning we worked in the yard weeding, planting. One small dispute over dumb stuff. Plant placement and where to put weeds. I said I need to take a walk and I just strolled around the house. Came back in a few minutes an...

Jeannie · Jeannie

(((Debilyn))) As always you are so compassionate and wise and I do love and admire you for that. You are so right with me not doing well since the counseling started. I guess I haven't admitted that it is causing me a lot of pain emotionally. I agreed to go to the counseling hoping it might sink in, h...

Lani · Lani

Dear Friends, The book, High Bottom Drunk, speaks for itself: http://www.highbottomdrunk.com Love, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/mime.htm

holly123 · holly123

Hi All, I'd like to know how I am supposed to make boundries for a 33 year old a? I have noticed some changes in him, he used to spent every single day at his buddies garage getting drunk. This let to an affair and a DWI. He spent so much time away that the kids didn'...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42735 Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful prope...

megan · megan

Hello from my job. I' m still at the hotel. I will book another week. I am looking for a place closer to work. I thank each and every one of you for you ESH and for your support. Alanon gave me the strength to walk out the door. My shoes are new but getting broken in. I had lunch today...

dot · dot

Hi all - Steo One is posted on the Step Board. Please give your support and share your experience, strength and hope with the newcomer who is just starting their journey through the Steps. Love you all and look forwrd to your shares. Love in Recovery - Dot ((((((((((((all)))))))))) ...

debilyn · debilyn

Your post gave me shivers. You described what is going on perfectly. He keeps saying he does not know what to do, and he told me he is suicidal. I was thinking today that he may need me to make a decision for him. I feel like I always do and have learned from alanon: Being insane is doing the same thing and...

Ladyluck918 · Ladyluck918

My father is currently going to AA and my mother is attending al-anon meetings in our area... so they are both trying to get on the road to recovery except that my mother just sits staring off into space or is in bed all day long. She will come home from work and sleep, on the weekends she will sleep, and she w...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I read this over on the AA message board and wanted to copy it over here for our side to read (as I know many don't read the other board). Lots of good stuff to be found over there, which I feel apply equally to both sides. I know it certainly has helped me a lot in my own recovery process. L...

whatif · whatif

Well this is the 3rd week in a row that husband has spent an 8 hour day getting absolutely stinking drunk.Since last week's episode he has mowed our yard and the neighbor's. Weeded and mulched the garden. Ran lots of errands. Spent a delightful evening with my son and his family for my son's birthday. To...

Deutch · Deutch

Did you never experience being in a friendship relation with an Adult from an alcoolic family. I am in Alanon since 12 years.. and at this time a friend... who is also an Alanon member...let me feel the same émotions as with an active alcoolic Sorry for my english french is my firs...

nmike · nmike

My husband moves out June 1st to start his new job and end our relationship. I am trying to be thankful for what I do have and what he is able to give. He said let's go to the lake and camp out. It was great to be outdoors. He resembles a shell of a man that I don't even know after so many years. He acts as if he is jus...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, We have had a few perfect spring days here in Jersey, so I have taken advantage of it and been getting the outside of the house in shape. I love to garden and take care of the lawn. There is something so freeing about playing in the dirt and the smell of the soil. There is also such a sense of sat...

AngelBearPoet · AngelBearPoet

I wanted to post a thank you both for Chairing Saturday mornings (5-14-05) for me.. I had a sever reaction to my place being exterminated on thursday.. It was done early in the day and felt i would be ok to be in my home do to the fact i knew i would be home late.. I went to bed at 2am and by 4am i was up and extremly...

sanddie · sanddie

After seeing the post of The Awakening, I thought I'd share a poem that I wrote about 3 years ago, as I was just sitting one day and decided to write and 5 minutes later.... This is what I composed. I have to say, I feel it's one of my best and most powerful poems I had ever written without...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Thinking of you today as you say goodbye to your dear friend Bluedini. May he live forever in your heart. Luv ya (((((((((((trina)))))))))))) Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Learning Patience (Preview) What is patience? Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are sl...	Phil	0	761	May 20, 2005 by Phil
	IF I had the power.... (Preview) I am busy reminding myself that "I am powerless over my husband's alchohol". It's a new mantra...trying to get used to it. He called from the road last night (he travels for work often) and I caught a hint of it in his mood,...and his tone. I know the sound...I suppose we all do. So the...	GirlSkates	2	775	May 20, 2005 by melanieL
	self-esteem (Preview) I have a problem with my self-esteem. Before Alanon I would have a very hard time dealing with changes. I am trying to do alittle better with that. My husband has gotten his license and is now driving my car which is good, but I have less control over him. I know that is why I get upset when he takes the car....	nycbt	3	753	May 20, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Insecurity (Preview) What is insecurity? Insecurity is: Feeling of not being ``good enough'' to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life. Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict, or concerns. Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges. Fear of b...	Phil	3	825	May 20, 2005 by lildee
	12 steps explained (Preview) I have all 12 steps posted below, please keep in mind that I found this in naranon but it is the same program, just replacing addict with alcoholic. Addiction is addiction. This has helpped me out with working my program and I hope it helps others here. JJ Step One We admitted we were...	jj	17	3847	May 20, 2005 by Lanchas
	So frustrated (Preview) I am feeling so frustrated and angry today. The therapist came again on Friday and husband claimed to be clean for two weeks. I guess he forgot about the week he smoked last weekend and this week. Today I counted my Klonopin (My doctor gives them to me to sleep) and noticed that four a...	Powerless	7	941	May 20, 2005 by honeybunnydog
	unsure and scared (Preview) Well I talked to a counsler yesterday and she gave me a number for husband that he could call and make an appointment to be seen and she gave me some good guidence on how to approach him with it. That is what I did today. I couldn't hold my feelings any longer on how his drinking affects me.(although I know I s...	lil_feathered_one	6	986	May 20, 2005 by Mark S
	online sponsorship (Preview) I have been in a al anon program for 13 months and I have been helping my a with going to meeting all. Now I think that it is time for me to start working the program for me. In my area there is one meeting a week and I don't feel right in there so that is why I look online for a meeting room. I have been told to work th...	Trish	5	793	May 19, 2005 by DanaAngel
	cdb is still out of town :) (Preview) Hello friends, I am still out of town helping my parents. I plan to stay with them longer to help them get settled into their cabin too in Canada. We plan to leave to Canada on Thursday. I am not sure if I will have a computer to use there yet or not but will sure come online if I find one to use. This visit has b...	cdb	6	722	May 19, 2005 by cloud
	Step Help (Preview) I am working on the 12 steps. I need help with them. Is someone willing to hlep me? Lanchas	Lanchas	6	542	May 19, 2005 by Lanchas
	relax (Preview) Step One: RELAX-> I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX-> I can simply believe that somone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX-> I can easily turn my whole life and well-being over to God, as I understan...	angel123	3	746	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Sober is rough too (Preview) My A has one year sobriety under his belt...and I must say I'm no longer afraid of the physical contact, but it's been a rough year verbally. This past year I opened a retail shop, and that's been my salvation...some time to myself. Since I'm inside all day, yesterday I started going to a tannin...	Belongtome	9	1191	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Reminder for today (Preview) Hi, If I am feeling angry, I do not have to take my anger out on others in a destructive way, and I do not have the right. If my usual response is to scream, sulk or to lash out with cruel words, today I can find a new solution of what works for me when I get mad. I can start to see new ways to handle m...	teddybear	8	626	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	surely not (Preview) hi all - my first post. My first al-anon meeting last night. And I keep thinking, "maybe I am blowing this out of porportion, maybe I am wrong...mabye I really dont need this" I don't think that is the case. I don't know anymore.	GirlSkates	12	875	May 19, 2005 by Jeannie
	lost and scared (Preview) Hi all, I need your prayers and love like never before. I find myself in a position in which a former crush of mine and a current attraction of mine have decided to hook up. Both have expressed a willingness to not even pursue anything if it means losing my friendship. I feel completely...	jessi	2	488	May 19, 2005 by Jeannie
	I can't believe all of you... (Preview) You are wonderfully wonderful. I have felt so welcome and you having a calming effect onme. You all have opened my eyes and helped me to believe that the desire I feel to change is not for nothing. Believe it or not, the slogans are my favorite. Someone told me last night durin...	Powerless	2	698	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	Day 12 Just an update. (Preview) I left my husband 12 days ago and am living in a local hotel I like not having to deal with my A's drunken behaviour. I like relaxing and not having the high speed interented cut off on a whim I don't miss living in the insanity at all. My husband: scared sober. He wasn't at first, he drank harder....	megan	7	890	May 19, 2005 by nycbt
	right thing to do? (Preview) I keep asking my self that. Husband keeps saying that he wants/ needs help with his drinking, but hasn't took that step to do so. Meanwhile I'm here still dealing with his drinking. My anger is building and my sadness when I look at him I'm finding more difficult to control. I can't help but feel like I nee...	lil_feathered_one	5	782	May 19, 2005 by jo4
	"A" mad that I went to Alanon (Preview) I was shocked when I told my A sister that I went to Alanon and she was so mad at me! She has admitted to being an A and has gone to 2 AA meetings and was sober for about 2 weeks, but then went back to it and had a bad drunk in front of her kids and friends, etc and is now very upset, ashamed, etc....	Newbee	11	1033	May 18, 2005 by lin0606
	Self Esteem (Preview) We often use the expression "good self-esteem, "poor" self-esteem or "no" self-esteem. How does one "esteem" the self and what is the self anyway? Esteem involves loving respect and dignified caring. What of the self? We come into the world with it; it follows us through life like a shadow. If we lose...	Phil	0	802	May 18, 2005 by Phil
	Stomach Knot (Preview) Hi, Today I'm feeling a little sad, and I have that familiar knot in my stomach. My dad is my A (alcohol and pills), he has been attending AA daily for about eighteen months and as far as I know has been sober. My mother is a codependent without a program. Last night she was tel...	nal	5	957	May 18, 2005 by Powerless
	Quote for Today (Preview) "When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." --Helen Keller	wallsal55	1	565	May 18, 2005 by Belongtome
	Trust? (Preview) Hi everyone, I left my marriage of 10 years to an A last year and I am finding it very difficult to trust another person. I am always questioning their motives and their whereabouts, that it is just driving me insane. So much so, that I am having nightmares of being betrayed again!&n...	Samena	2	792	May 18, 2005 by abbyal
	Saturday May 21,2005 (Preview) I am sorry to say I will not be able to chair the meeting.. The place where I meet for my F2F will be painting the room we meet in.. I am on the paint commity for this.. We will be meeting up there early and painting all morning till the 2pm F2F meeting starts.. Them meeting in another room for that and then pain...	AngelBearPoet	0	620	May 18, 2005 by AngelBearPoet
	From AA board- Relationship Dance (Preview) Hi, Phil posted this on the AA board and I found it very interesting. I hope he doesn't mind but I copied it here. THE RELATIONSHIP DUET The Dance of Intimacy By Darlene Lancer, M.A., MFT The relationship duet the dance of intimacy that all couples do. If one partner moves in, the other...	Jeannie	0	886	May 18, 2005 by Jeannie
	Our Closing Prayer (Preview) Hi all, I find myself reciting the closing prayer like I use to say the pledge of allegence when i was a kid in school. It becomes a ritual and I loose the meaning of the words, and just say the words. I have found that a new twist on the same words can help me to bring that meaning back to them and r...	mastiff	2	3771	May 18, 2005 by luv123
	I HAVE COME A LONG WAY (Preview) Hi Everyone I haven't been on this message board in a long time. I have been going to face to face. I have been talking to my new friends from Alanon. I have learn alot of things. My husband has gotten his license and in the begin I was very upset about the change. I have learn to deal with it better. I have be...	nycbt	4	737	May 18, 2005 by megan
	I told God my plans once... (Preview) …and my God gently laughed. I have not been here for awhile. I have not been here for two reasons or so I thought. Now it seems there is there has been only one. I have been enjoying the heck out of myself by going to a beautiful State park and riding my trail bike eight very hilly miles around the big beautifu...	richard	2	799	May 18, 2005 by Diva
	Jeannie.... (Preview) Been reading your posts and I want to thank you for sharing. Yes, my spouse is now back in AA, 4 month sobriety, saw him start to teeter, and wondered if he would stop meetings. He did go to an "open" AA dinner last night, and he then went to a meeting last night. Someone in...	wallsal55	1	571	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	It is never easy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am feeling sad today, because yesterday I spoke to my oldest son, and he started speaking against my younger son. I told him that we don't throw stones, when we live in a glass house. He was talking against my youngest son, telling me that he was drinking yesterday, that...	teddybear	4	748	May 17, 2005 by teddybear
	Quote for Today (Preview) " A racehorse has to run, A bird has to fly, An artist has to paint, A teacher has to teach. There is something in you that you have to do. All that is left to do, do it." --(in closing) from Self Matters, by Dr. Phil McGraw ...	wallsal55	0	558	May 17, 2005 by wallsal55
	Thank you to you gusys and hp (Preview) hi, first Phil, we learn best when we really feel the pain. I am not sorry I went over there. I had wanted to all day. It was very ok. I just am very easily hurt, but you know I was given a gift. I found out what kind of person I am. Hp helped me. I did not do any revenge if she would have come out and yelled or tri...	debilyn	6	714	May 17, 2005 by jj
	With the help of the HP (Preview) Hi, I would like to share my experience about how change does become possible when I stay in my own reality, and work on myself. My son has been going from one relationship to another, he had found someone with whom he felt was the right person for him. He felt good about her, since he knew that&...	teddybear	4	669	May 17, 2005 by teddybear
	Thoughts to Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh fell out of a tram on his way to a game. Soccer in the UK I believe it is. Now he is TBI (traumatic brain injury) Thank you for your thoughts n dreams n prayers to his life cycle. \/\/ille	wille	13	1290	May 17, 2005 by wille
	I WANT WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME (Preview) There are many times when I doubt the existance of anything that cares what goes on in this world, let alone in my life. Being agnostic, doubt comes easily to me, belief is difficult. But when I think of how someone guided me to Alanon, when my life was at its darkest, I reflect on times when the words and...	gardengal	3	796	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	just venting (Preview) Hi All, Yesterday I got a chance, before my a took off for the day with someone else and got drunk, to talk to him and tell him that I didn't believe he was a bad father but that he needed to realize that we really need him around and not to be drunk and annoying. I got to tel...	holly123	5	792	May 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	cant take much more... (Preview) well this morning we (my husband and I) meet my parents at a really nice hotel on the water to have brunch. we have our 2 yr old son with us and i am pregnant with the next. there is bottomless champaign served with brunch and my husband has a couple glasses. i figured we were in th...	kimmie	6	694	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Husband Getting Medical Help (Preview) It has been quite a while since I have posted last and a lot has happened. These past 2 weeks have been the worst. My husbands job had a fire in the area where he worked resulting in a lay off for a few days which turned into a drinking binge for him. I am now working nights until the new guy is trained and that...	debalina36	11	916	May 16, 2005 by tiredtonite
	Is this IT? (Preview) A called me. He had hocked his telecaster. A very expensive antique like guitar. Said if I can't get it, it is gone. Well it is suppose to go to our son, so I took my savings to get MY wedding ring out of hcck, and got it. He was so ashamed, he made me promise not to tell our son what he had done. He was sob...	debilyn	5	809	May 16, 2005 by iona54
	I guess it is over (Preview) I just want to express my sorrow I guess. I am feeling so totally sad,hurt and betrayed. My A asked me tonight to move out. He has told me to leave many times but this time it was different. My daughter, baby son and I are leaving tomorrow. The weird thing is I now have nothing. I mean literly nothing. No job,...	jkiss03	8	893	May 16, 2005 by nmike
	Emotional Walls (Preview) Have you ever tried to love someone, but you could feel their emotional walls? You can feel them not letting you in. You can feel the little person trapped inside. Or have you ever felt somebody trying to get to you, but you can feel yourself stopping it? This is how most of us experience relationships. T...	Phil	5	1310	May 16, 2005 by Samena
	Detachment...How much & how? (Preview) Just went to my first Al-anon meeting last night. Boy was that hard! I have been reading the posts on this board and am starting to understand how this "self help" stuff could possibly work. But I have a few questions: 1) I have heard about the "detach with love" philosophy, but ob...	Newbee	5	891	May 16, 2005 by holly123
	rough night (Preview) Hello all, Had a rough night last night and need to get a few things off my chest. So it begins.... I had to work last night, left kids with hubby. Heck he had told me earlier in the week that it was time that he needed help. Finally I thought I could calm down even if just a little bit. I even asked him if he w...	lil_feathered_one	6	946	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	Such Anquish (Preview) We were supposed to spend the day together. My A and I. I always get such high hopes. This morning we worked in the yard weeding, planting. One small dispute over dumb stuff. Plant placement and where to put weeds. I said I need to take a walk and I just strolled around the house. Came back in a few minutes an...	whatif	4	866	May 16, 2005 by holly123
	Debilyn (Preview) (((Debilyn))) As always you are so compassionate and wise and I do love and admire you for that. You are so right with me not doing well since the counseling started. I guess I haven't admitted that it is causing me a lot of pain emotionally. I agreed to go to the counseling hoping it might sink in, h...	Jeannie	4	777	May 16, 2005 by Jeannie
	HIGH BOTTOM DRUNK - the book (Preview) Dear Friends, The book, *High Bottom Drunk, speaks for itself: http://www.highbottomdrunk.com* Love, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/mime.htm	Lani	0	627	May 16, 2005 by Lani
	Boundries (Preview) Hi All, I'd like to know how I am supposed to make boundries for a 33 year old a? I have noticed some changes in him, he used to spent every single day at his buddies garage getting drunk. This let to an affair and a DWI. He spent so much time away that the kids didn'...	holly123	3	585	May 15, 2005 by Powerless
	Property Lines (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42735 Property Lines A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful prope...	kismetstrand	2	935	May 15, 2005 by Annie
	Isn't it Ironic? (Preview) Hello from my job. I' m still at the hotel. I will book another week. I am looking for a place closer to work. I thank each and every one of you for you ESH and for your support. Alanon gave me the strength to walk out the door. My shoes are new but getting broken in. I had lunch today...	megan	9	956	May 15, 2005 by teddybear
	Step Board (Preview) Hi all - Steo One is posted on the Step Board. Please give your support and share your experience, strength and hope with the newcomer who is just starting their journey through the Steps. Love you all and look forwrd to your shares. Love in Recovery - Dot ((((((((((((all)))))))))) ...	dot	0	488	May 15, 2005 by dot
	Dear Phil (Preview) Your post gave me shivers. You described what is going on perfectly. He keeps saying he does not know what to do, and he told me he is suicidal. I was thinking today that he may need me to make a decision for him. I feel like I always do and have learned from alanon: Being insane is doing the same thing and...	debilyn	4	828	May 15, 2005 by david62
	Not sure.... (Preview) My father is currently going to AA and my mother is attending al-anon meetings in our area... so they are both trying to get on the road to recovery except that my mother just sits staring off into space or is in bed all day long. She will come home from work and sleep, on the weekends she will sleep, and she w...	Ladyluck918	2	632	May 15, 2005 by holly123
	Contaminating a Relationship (Preview) I read this over on the AA message board and wanted to copy it over here for our side to read (as I know many don't read the other board). Lots of good stuff to be found over there, which I feel apply equally to both sides. I know it certainly has helped me a lot in my own recovery process. L...	kismetstrand	4	972	May 15, 2005 by holly123
	different day same ole s@#* (Preview) Well this is the 3rd week in a row that husband has spent an 8 hour day getting absolutely stinking drunk.Since last week's episode he has mowed our yard and the neighbor's. Weeded and mulched the garden. Ran lots of errands. Spent a delightful evening with my son and his family for my son's birthday. To...	whatif	5	937	May 14, 2005 by lin0606
	Friendship.... (Preview) Did you never experience being in a friendship relation with an Adult from an alcoolic family. I am in Alanon since 12 years.. and at this time a friend... who is also an Alanon member...let me feel the same émotions as with an active alcoolic Sorry for my english french is my firs...	Deutch	2	834	May 14, 2005 by kismetstrand
	No One Home (Preview) My husband moves out June 1st to start his new job and end our relationship. I am trying to be thankful for what I do have and what he is able to give. He said let's go to the lake and camp out. It was great to be outdoors. He resembles a shell of a man that I don't even know after so many years. He acts as if he is jus...	nmike	5	587	May 14, 2005 by nmike
	Always thinking (Preview) Hi everyone, We have had a few perfect spring days here in Jersey, so I have taken advantage of it and been getting the outside of the house in shape. I love to garden and take care of the lawn. There is something so freeing about playing in the dirt and the smell of the soil. There is also such a sense of sat...	Jeannie	9	885	May 14, 2005 by Deutch
	Thank you Greta and Shimo (Preview) I wanted to post a thank you both for Chairing Saturday mornings (5-14-05) for me.. I had a sever reaction to my place being exterminated on thursday.. It was done early in the day and felt i would be ok to be in my home do to the fact i knew i would be home late.. I went to bed at 2am and by 4am i was up and extremly...	AngelBearPoet	0	570	May 14, 2005 by AngelBearPoet
	Awaken (Thought I'd Share) (Preview) After seeing the post of The Awakening, I thought I'd share a poem that I wrote about 3 years ago, as I was just sitting one day and decided to write and 5 minutes later.... This is what I composed. I have to say, I feel it's one of my best and most powerful poems I had ever written without...	sanddie	4	494	May 14, 2005 by sanddie
	To Mastiff (Preview) Thinking of you today as you say goodbye to your dear friend Bluedini. May he live forever in your heart. Luv ya (((((((((((trina)))))))))))) Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I a...	kismetstrand	7	908	May 14, 2005 by jj
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.