Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · joker

I am learning ever so slowly, NO, No, NO. I had a good laugh today, as the alcoholic was suddenly so nice, saying Good morning, meanwhile, yesterday he was a racing mess, screaming devils get out of this house, and going nuts, alone, upstairs. I was downstairs, reading al-anon. Just like that, a change...

joker · joker

I am trying to see the positives-thank you god, the alcoholic is getting crazier, and more insane when drinking. It just means he is nearing the end, and I can move more into recovery! I say, let him go nuts, but I need to remove myself and give him the space to go completely insane. Have at er. hope it makes...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." The reading includes a simplified version -- "First I came, then I 'came to', then I came to believe." For many, the journey towards a Higher Power and a spiritual life is a gradual proc...

listerine042571 · listerine042571

Hi Guys,I'm not a recovering addict myself, but have been in a relationship with someone who was an addict to a large spectrum of drugs and alcohol and he even went as far as selling it. We met in a recovery unit, me for depression and at the time I thought he was there for the same, but later came to find out t...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

My STBXAH bought tickets for a football game which means hes taking the kids out of town Saturday. Through our marriage he has done this kind of thing without consulting me at all, sometimes telling me the day of. So this am my daughter informed me of this event. I dropped her off & went home, took...

changeme18 · changeme18

It has been my experience that Al-Anon can be a very negative, non-uplifting experience when one attends with people they are very close to, like family or best friends. We are emotionally involved with these people and love them very much, but their presence can be very uncomfortable when we are tr...

Heaven76 · Heaven76

Hello, Im new here.... Ive been married to my alcoholic husband for 15 years(together for 20). He drank almost every day back then but he still went to work and had a normal life. As the years went on he began having panic attacks and the drinking became worse to the point that he couldnt work. That was a...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64078912/alanon-step-7-11-1-2017/

mamalioness · mamalioness

Today's entry goes into our commitments to go to the meetings....and to NOT look for the differences, but the similarities in our fellow "roomies" To look for the GOOD in everything that is shared...It reminds us to praise the sober and pray for the drinking and usingaddicts. Also it reminds us that...

JBF490 · JBF490

i broke up with an alcohlic. end of story. He calls. Sometimes I answer. Most not. I text him sometimes as well as he texts me. I can't cut it off clean. I know he is bad for me . I tell him we won't get back together unless he stops drinking. Lol. He won't of course. So why am I even trying to help him or make it ok...

joker · joker

well, its now 6:30 am and its been a night of hell. The alcoholic became more insane, screaming your the devil and let me look at your eyes, the devil is in you. F*** this, f*** this. I did not sleep all night as he kept me up, coming into my room and yelling and screaming at me with insults and arguing with me...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to change is about horse training. (Actually it isn't but I thought that would be a fun start.) The author equates training horses to dealing with their own racing thoughts. Giving a command over and over again tends to escalate the situation and does n...

atheos · atheos

My new sponsor has suggested to me that my father may be an alcoholic. She is not the first person to say so. Several Al-Anon people have said so over the years. But he doesn't drink *that* much. And I've never heard a non-Alanon person suggest that he might be an alcoholic. So I am kind of wondering if some...

Sorcha · Sorcha

I haven't posted in a while. I have been no contact with my alcoholic for 3 months and he died tonight. I'm so sad. I still loved him but just could not live with the disease any longer, it was destroying me, but now I wish I could have stuck it out a bit longer to get to sy goodbye.

joker · joker

The anger inside me is so bad. I am angry as Saturday morning, I left and stayed away all night. I did not return till the next day. The abf was still on a drunk. All night. I finally had enough and left for the day and night. He phoned me but I did not answer. I came home Sunday, the house was a mess, beer cans eve...

joker · joker

I read on the message board here, and read a member share that the alcoholic uses us and blames everyone but himself and uses us a support system rather then a sponsor or AA. Well, my heart just went wow. When I read that the alcoholic is using us, my blood just started boiling. I am being used! And I am angry...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 31, reinforces the importance of the Traditions and explains in detail that All-Anon is a fellowship of equals. Groups are held together in close union by obedience to the unenforceable. This is an interesting concept and actually means that each group conducts Al-An...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Hi All, been a way far too long it would seem. I am going to meetings and reaching out, but sometimes I just need to get my thoughts out to work through them, hear everyone's ESH. Some days I am doing well and other days I (feel) like I am right back to where I started months ago. I am struggling with my active a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So my XAH is seriously a PIECE OF WORK .. I don't even know where to start with this and I am bringing it here so I don't verbally bury him. After telling our daughter he would help her with some bills and college tuition. I finally heard back from him .. LOL .. is all that is qualified at this point He has no...

Lyne · Lyne

Practicing gratitude: Today's reading talks about the ways in which we can discover and practice gratitude. The author says that he/she would hear people in meetings say they were grateful for being involved with an alcoholic, which brought them to Alanon. And he saw people who were happy in spi...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So the headliner says it all. 29 years. I have been physically separated from my AH for a little over a month... emotionally, perhaps a year. Last night I had a crying jag. First time I have cried since proclaiming to my AH that it was "Him or me, but someone was leaving the house," in August. It was weird....

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I'm not sure what I should be doing right at this moment. This morning has started off with a feeling of fighting a losin battle. I decided I'm going to work the steps, grabbed a notebook, when to step one, wrote down the questions, and started to answer. Well doesn't that just suck when you have to be hone...

joker · joker

He is paranoid - and fears things that haven't happened, and aren't in my heart to happen. Such as me having an affair. It's like, if he fears it, it *must* be real, regardless of my reality. I read this, and its my reality. He is using and paranoid! he projects, things onto me. I am learning, leave the roo...

Aerin · Aerin

hey everyone Iâve been gone for a while but Iâm back on here again trying to still understand a few things. many times I said I was going to leave my alcoholic boyfriend and I came close to it quite a few times but basically this past June he ended up leaving me. I truly donât know if he is still sticking to his...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w the idea & plan to have my mom move back up here. Long story short my mom has been in & out of mental hospital for the last three years. I am struggling really because she shouldn't come back due to the fact that she has done so much damage that the move would be I think very unsuccess...

Maresie · Maresie

This is just a reminder to start beefing up the self care. Holidays are hard for the best of them Thanksgiving and Christmas is a double whammy The ex A used to drag me over the coals on Christmas I permitted it. I let him make all the choice. My.choice was to wallow in self pity, resentment and envy. I...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Today I took a new step and decided to see an addictions counsellor. Most of the stuff I learnt I had already known but didn't really put into action.....looking after me...my spirit, my well being. Surprise! Having someone now that I can work with on this will be of a benifit. I have homework before we...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 5 and 6 has been posted to the Step work Board Please join in and share your thoughts as I am trying to finish this Step go around before the end of the year..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64069372/al-anon-step-fiveoct-29-2017/ http://stepwork.activeboard....

Glamisfun · Glamisfun

Hi everyone new here. My fiance is getting out of a 30 day rehab and i am trying to write a non negotiable letter that the facility wants me to write for her i would like some advice on your thoughts.

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Confused.... I read through the sticky(s).....can someone answer a few questions please. Okay I'm going to start at step one....it appears the newest step is 4 (or something) do I need to wait till step 1 is the most recent new thread, before I can comment/share my thoughts on step 1? Since I'm on step...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how many of us came to the program with the instinct of taking everything we hear (about ourselves) to heart. I know that I have the tendency to dwell and ruminate on things that are said to me and I have been working on letting some things wash past me, wit...

joker · joker

I just read on enabling an alcoholic, I must admit I am enabling my abf. I am making life very comfortable for him. To comfortable. I am there to give him money when he has none, drive him to the liquor store, (I have said no before, but last weekend, I did drive him as he was begging me to drive him there, but I...

lookingup · lookingup

Today's reading talks about times when the "poor me " mood is upon us, we can become overwhelmed with all the troubles we have to face daily in our lives, or when we begin to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others the reading suggests there is a better way to act and be " empty our m...

joker · joker

I did not take into account he might not want to be helped. Just read this from a member. What an eye opener. I have not considered this. I keep forcing my will and saying you need to get help with your drinking. I might as well talk to the wall. I am learning to not even talk about drinking around him, let him...

joker · joker

How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic or AddictLearn the Difference Between Helping and EnablingBy Buddy T | Reviewed by Richard N. Fogoros, MDUpdated September 16, 2017 Share Pin EmailPRINT Are you enabling an alcoholic? Here's how to stop. © Getty ImagesMore in Substance UseSupport for F...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discuss the unlimited love and grace we get by trusting in a power greater than self. The reader discusses a beach setting where they are sitting, relaxing and looking at the many others enjoying the sun/sand. The writer realizes that no matter how crowded the beach is, there is eno...

petepeterman · petepeterman

Hi, I'm new here. Not really sure where to start other then saying that my wife is addicted to pain medication. I usually like to try to figure my problems out on my own but I am at a breaking point with my wife and I need some advice. We will have been married 8 yrs this may with a 10 yr old son. weve lived to...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning all! So I just wanted to post something about using your tools in other areas of your life. This morning was the umpteenth time my teen son has gotten up late and will be missing his jazz band class (7 am class). While I am getting up and getting ready for the day, he casually asks if he can just s...

Holly09 · Holly09

Hello everyone I haven't been here in a long time. I've been going to therapy for a year and a half and it has done wonders for me finding myself again. I am not the whole person I was but I am getting there. Over 2 years ago my abf said some trust breaking personal threatening things to me that I have not be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about reacting vs. responding - especially to others when we are suffering. The writer discusses how the unkind words of others felt as well as how criticism sent her reeling. The writer found it hard to consider the harsh words might be untrue and may borderline on abuse. In t...

bettyk · bettyk

i had difficulty with my original log in name:"Hotrod" so I re established myself with a new account under the name" bettyk " I am deleting that account and will remain as" hotrod" going forward. Please direct any PM to hotrod Thanks

joker · joker

I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me. It is so darn hard tonight. My mind is projecting the worse outcome for the alcoholic. He starts a new job tomorrow, and he is drinking tonight. He says, he has anxiety. What a bunch of BS, will not admit he needs, needs with all his body, the alcohol. He needs to be i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

One thing I have realized in this crazy dance of addiction is no one dance is the same. A very long time good friend is seriously battling her set of crazy at the moment and I had slipped and been dragged into it. I'm not sorry I reached out to one of her other best friends and we are keeping each other appr...

Leonatalie2 · Leonatalie2

Hi guys! Iâm new and really need some advice or support. My partner and I have ha a few ups and downs and itâs down to his drinking. I knew when we met he liked a drink but then it got out of hand when he drank for weeks at a time. When we first got together he slept with someone else, albeit it was only two weeks we...

helloitsme · helloitsme

Hello - I'm very new to this and unsure of how to begin. I don't have a long story to tell. I believe my husband is an alcoholic or, at the very least, an abuser. We have been married for 36 years. I love him so dearly but the past couple of years he's gotten worse. He isn't physically or verbally abusiv...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author discusses one of their character defects: allowing things to happen and making choices passively. The author shares that even though they were so impacted by the effects of living with alcoholism that they were not able to ac...

Grace R · Grace R

Hi there everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon. I'm still learning to navigate around the forum to participate in the "New step each fortnight". I'm wondering if anyone can please tell me how to find it easily when logging in? thanks

joker · joker

I know recovery is a lot of work. I have worked my but off at it, and I know its not over yet, recovery will always continue in my case. Recovery will never be over for me. Today, I laughed and laughed. It felt so good. It felt wonderful in fact. I have been dealing with crisis after crisis and it has taken its...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, my swollen painful gums or feelings I'm working through. Likely, it's some of each. I had an interview today. My education is recent - not very but relatively recent. It's rare that I have run into an opportunity that encompasses what I studied and with the sam...

lisa sa · lisa sa

Hello All There I was battling along, but head above water..and then today I sank. After having enough of the alcoholism especially the emotional absence, I kicked him out (abf). I had very good reasons, including a physical attack and lots and lots of disloyalty and betrayal. But then today, he come...

Iamhere · Iamhere

A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!! She sent this to me today and I just wanted...

bettyk · bettyk

ODAT Reading for 10=24-2017 speaks about the simple fact that life is difficult. . Many admittedly go about expecting life to be entirely free of problems and are constantly disappointed. Alanon suggests that we use the smple tools in order to learn how to accept the difficult times and appr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I seriously had to share this because it helps me see and sort through the insanity of the disease and not just his how it effects the whole family. Well, my XAH informed my daughter that he was graciously keeping her on child support and didn't have to because she is a student. State law in IL used to be th...

bettyk · bettyk

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64049908/alanon-step-4-10-23-2017/

joker · joker

Lyne · Lyne

Coping with a sober alcoholic: The writer discusses the expectations that were not met when the alcoholic he/she loved got sober. Some things became worse. The writer learned that he did not have to react with anger or claim to be right. He learned that he can detach and not doubt himself. The remi...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I am completing my Legal Separation papers this weekend, and plan on turning them in sometime next week. I have also been reading the posts on Separation vs Divorce. I am currently wondering why I am even considering a separation... why not make it a divorce? 6 years ago, I was in this same position... e...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi MIP family- just looking for some feedback from people whose parents divorce. Did the timing of when they told you make any particular impact besides just getting the bad news? Did they tell you after it was final? did they tell you at beginning of holiday season? Before legal proceeding? I kno...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how making amends isn't necessarily apologizing to other people, but more about figuring out our part in situations (especially those that don't go very well). What I have noticed is that since I have come to alanon I am very attracted to those who are...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was wondering if anyone could find the awaken in

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Learning to say No (Preview) I am learning ever so slowly, NO, No, NO. I had a good laugh today, as the alcoholic was suddenly so nice, saying Good morning, meanwhile, yesterday he was a racing mess, screaming devils get out of this house, and going nuts, alone, upstairs. I was downstairs, reading al-anon. Just like that, a change...	joker	1	381	Nov 2, 2017 by shrnp
	thankful (Preview) I am trying to see the positives-thank you god, the alcoholic is getting crazier, and more insane when drinking. It just means he is nearing the end, and I can move more into recovery! I say, let him go nuts, but I need to remove myself and give him the space to go completely insane. Have at er. hope it makes...	joker	0	315	Nov 2, 2017 by joker
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/2/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." The reading includes a simplified version -- "First I came, then I 'came to', then I came to believe." For many, the journey towards a Higher Power and a spiritual life is a gradual proc...	Iamhere	2	353	Nov 2, 2017 by Aline
	Heartbroken (Preview) Hi Guys,I'm not a recovering addict myself, but have been in a relationship with someone who was an addict to a large spectrum of drugs and alcohol and he even went as far as selling it. We met in a recovery unit, me for depression and at the time I thought he was there for the same, but later came to find out t...	listerine042571	2	376	Nov 2, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Yay for program tools! (Preview) My STBXAH bought tickets for a football game which means hes taking the kids out of town Saturday. Through our marriage he has done this kind of thing without consulting me at all, sometimes telling me the day of. So this am my daughter informed me of this event. I dropped her off & went home, took...	BethBethBeth	5	524	Nov 2, 2017 by WestMan
	judgmental people (Preview) It has been my experience that Al-Anon can be a very negative, non-uplifting experience when one attends with people they are very close to, like family or best friends. We are emotionally involved with these people and love them very much, but their presence can be very uncomfortable when we are tr...	changeme18	4	673	Nov 2, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	New here (Preview) Hello, Im new here.... Ive been married to my alcoholic husband for 15 years(together for 20). He drank almost every day back then but he still went to work and had a normal life. As the years went on he began having panic attacks and the drinking became worse to the point that he couldnt work. That was a...	Heaven76	3	449	Nov 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 7 posted (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64078912/alanon-step-7-11-1-2017/	hotrod	0	315	Nov 1, 2017 by hotrod
	12 step prayer book Nov.1, 2017 (Preview) Today's entry goes into our commitments to go to the meetings....and to NOT look for the differences, but the similarities in our fellow "roomies" To look for the GOOD in everything that is shared...It reminds us to praise the sober and pray for the drinking and usingaddicts. Also it reminds us that...	mamalioness	1	364	Nov 1, 2017 by hotrod
	so torn (Preview) i broke up with an alcohlic. end of story. He calls. Sometimes I answer. Most not. I text him sometimes as well as he texts me. I can't cut it off clean. I know he is bad for me . I tell him we won't get back together unless he stops drinking. Lol. He won't of course. So why am I even trying to help him or make it ok...	JBF490	8	456	Nov 1, 2017 by Jerry F
	crisis (Preview) well, its now 6:30 am and its been a night of hell. The alcoholic became more insane, screaming your the devil and let me look at your eyes, the devil is in you. F* this, f* this. I did not sleep all night as he kept me up, coming into my room and yelling and screaming at me with insults and arguing with me...	joker	4	432	Nov 1, 2017 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change November 1 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to change is about horse training. (Actually it isn't but I thought that would be a fun start.) The author equates training horses to dealing with their own racing thoughts. Giving a command over and over again tends to escalate the situation and does n...	Skorpi	5	553	Nov 1, 2017 by mamalioness
	Is this "normal" drinking? (Preview) My new sponsor has suggested to me that my father may be an alcoholic. She is not the first person to say so. Several Al-Anon people have said so over the years. But he doesn't drink that much. And I've never heard a non-Alanon person suggest that he might be an alcoholic. So I am kind of wondering if some...	atheos	6	1350	Nov 1, 2017 by Aerin
	Grief (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. I have been no contact with my alcoholic for 3 months and he died tonight. I'm so sad. I still loved him but just could not live with the disease any longer, it was destroying me, but now I wish I could have stuck it out a bit longer to get to sy goodbye.	Sorcha	10	491	Nov 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	I flipped tonight (Preview) The anger inside me is so bad. I am angry as Saturday morning, I left and stayed away all night. I did not return till the next day. The abf was still on a drunk. All night. I finally had enough and left for the day and night. He phoned me but I did not answer. I came home Sunday, the house was a mess, beer cans eve...	joker	5	474	Nov 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Being used (Preview) I read on the message board here, and read a member share that the alcoholic uses us and blames everyone but himself and uses us a support system rather then a sponsor or AA. Well, my heart just went wow. When I read that the alcoholic is using us, my blood just started boiling. I am being used! And I am angry...	joker	5	487	Oct 31, 2017 by Maresie
	ODAT reading 10-31-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 31, reinforces the importance of the Traditions and explains in detail that All-Anon is a fellowship of equals. Groups are held together in close union by obedience to the unenforceable. This is an interesting concept and actually means that each group conducts Al-An...	hotrod	4	575	Oct 31, 2017 by hotrod
	a rough time with the "lucid" Insanity (Preview) Hi All, been a way far too long it would seem. I am going to meetings and reaching out, but sometimes I just need to get my thoughts out to work through them, hear everyone's ESH. Some days I am doing well and other days I (feel) like I am right back to where I started months ago. I am struggling with my active a...	pumkin26	6	690	Oct 31, 2017 by pumkin26
	Unbelievable .. (Preview) So my XAH is seriously a PIECE OF WORK .. I don't even know where to start with this and I am bringing it here so I don't verbally bury him. After telling our daughter he would help her with some bills and college tuition. I finally heard back from him .. LOL .. is all that is qualified at this point He has no...	SerenityRUS	18	575	Oct 31, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 10/30 (Preview) Practicing gratitude: Today's reading talks about the ways in which we can discover and practice gratitude. The author says that he/she would hear people in meetings say they were grateful for being involved with an alcoholic, which brought them to Alanon. And he saw people who were happy in spi...	Lyne	6	429	Oct 31, 2017 by Maresie
	Oct 15 - My 29 year anniversary of marriage (Preview) So the headliner says it all. 29 years. I have been physically separated from my AH for a little over a month... emotionally, perhaps a year. Last night I had a crying jag. First time I have cried since proclaiming to my AH that it was "Him or me, but someone was leaving the house," in August. It was weird....	PosiesandPuppies	16	743	Oct 31, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	starting over..........again (Preview) I'm not sure what I should be doing right at this moment. This morning has started off with a feeling of fighting a losin battle. I decided I'm going to work the steps, grabbed a notebook, when to step one, wrote down the questions, and started to answer. Well doesn't that just suck when you have to be hone...	Curlyblu	4	617	Oct 30, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Paranoid (Preview) He is paranoid - and fears things that haven't happened, and aren't in my heart to happen. Such as me having an affair. It's like, if he fears it, it must be real, regardless of my reality. I read this, and its my reality. He is using and paranoid! he projects, things onto me. I am learning, leave the roo...	joker	5	465	Oct 30, 2017 by Maresie25
	Cheating and Alcoholic (Preview) hey everyone Iâve been gone for a while but Iâm back on here again trying to still understand a few things. many times I said I was going to leave my alcoholic boyfriend and I came close to it quite a few times but basically this past June he ended up leaving me. I truly donât know if he is still sticking to his...	Aerin	8	444	Oct 30, 2017 by Maresie25
	why me? I will make this brief (Preview) I am struggling w the idea & plan to have my mom move back up here. Long story short my mom has been in & out of mental hospital for the last three years. I am struggling really because she shouldn't come back due to the fact that she has done so much damage that the move would be I think very unsuccess...	Hoot Nanny	5	530	Oct 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	The holidays (Preview) This is just a reminder to start beefing up the self care. Holidays are hard for the best of them Thanksgiving and Christmas is a double whammy The ex A used to drag me over the coals on Christmas I permitted it. I let him make all the choice. My.choice was to wallow in self pity, resentment and envy. I...	Maresie	2	536	Oct 30, 2017 by Maresie
	furstration (Preview) Today I took a new step and decided to see an addictions counsellor. Most of the stuff I learnt I had already known but didn't really put into action.....looking after me...my spirit, my well being. Surprise! Having someone now that I can work with on this will be of a benifit. I have homework before we...	Curlyblu	12	570	Oct 30, 2017 by Jerry F
	Step Board Step 5 and 6 posted (Preview) Step 5 and 6 has been posted to the Step work Board Please join in and share your thoughts as I am trying to finish this Step go around before the end of the year..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64069372/al-anon-step-fiveoct-29-2017/ http://stepwork.activeboard....	hotrod	0	335	Oct 29, 2017 by hotrod
	Advice on addict comming home (Preview) Hi everyone new here. My fiance is getting out of a 30 day rehab and i am trying to write a non negotiable letter that the facility wants me to write for her i would like some advice on your thoughts.	Glamisfun	6	596	Oct 29, 2017 by _bunny_
	Step work board (Preview) Confused.... I read through the sticky(s).....can someone answer a few questions please. Okay I'm going to start at step one....it appears the newest step is 4 (or something) do I need to wait till step 1 is the most recent new thread, before I can comment/share my thoughts on step 1? Since I'm on step...	Curlyblu	2	364	Oct 29, 2017 by Lyne
	Oct 29 Hope for Today (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how many of us came to the program with the instinct of taking everything we hear (about ourselves) to heart. I know that I have the tendency to dwell and ruminate on things that are said to me and I have been working on letting some things wash past me, wit...	yanksfan51	2	378	Oct 29, 2017 by hotrod
	learning the word NO (Preview) I just read on enabling an alcoholic, I must admit I am enabling my abf. I am making life very comfortable for him. To comfortable. I am there to give him money when he has none, drive him to the liquor store, (I have said no before, but last weekend, I did drive him as he was begging me to drive him there, but I...	joker	1	449	Oct 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Odat reading 10/28/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about times when the "poor me " mood is upon us, we can become overwhelmed with all the troubles we have to face daily in our lives, or when we begin to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others the reading suggests there is a better way to act and be " empty our m...	lookingup	6	2516	Oct 28, 2017 by lookingup
	Not need help (Preview) I did not take into account he might not want to be helped. Just read this from a member. What an eye opener. I have not considered this. I keep forcing my will and saying you need to get help with your drinking. I might as well talk to the wall. I am learning to not even talk about drinking around him, let him...	joker	2	385	Oct 28, 2017 by Maresie25
	Article on enabling an alcoholic (Preview) How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic or AddictLearn the Difference Between Helping and EnablingBy Buddy T \| Reviewed by Richard N. Fogoros, MDUpdated September 16, 2017 Share Pin EmailPRINT Are you enabling an alcoholic? Here's how to stop. © Getty ImagesMore in Substance UseSupport for F...	joker	0	668	Oct 28, 2017 by joker
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/27/17 (Preview) Today's reading discuss the unlimited love and grace we get by trusting in a power greater than self. The reader discusses a beach setting where they are sitting, relaxing and looking at the many others enjoying the sun/sand. The writer realizes that no matter how crowded the beach is, there is eno...	Iamhere	6	441	Oct 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	how much is too much? (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. Not really sure where to start other then saying that my wife is addicted to pain medication. I usually like to try to figure my problems out on my own but I am at a breaking point with my wife and I need some advice. We will have been married 8 yrs this may with a 10 yr old son. weve lived to...	petepeterman	7	562	Oct 27, 2017 by WestMan
	Program being used in other places besides my AH! Yipeeee! (Preview) Good morning all! So I just wanted to post something about using your tools in other areas of your life. This morning was the umpteenth time my teen son has gotten up late and will be missing his jazz band class (7 am class). While I am getting up and getting ready for the day, he casually asks if he can just s...	PosiesandPuppies	7	529	Oct 27, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	I just can't say those words to him why? (Preview) Hello everyone I haven't been here in a long time. I've been going to therapy for a year and a half and it has done wonders for me finding myself again. I am not the whole person I was but I am getting there. Over 2 years ago my abf said some trust breaking personal threatening things to me that I have not be...	Holly09	12	633	Oct 26, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2) 10/26/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about reacting vs. responding - especially to others when we are suffering. The writer discusses how the unkind words of others felt as well as how criticism sent her reeling. The writer found it hard to consider the harsh words might be untrue and may borderline on abuse. In t...	Iamhere	5	645	Oct 26, 2017 by hotrod
	new log on name (Preview) i had difficulty with my original log in name:"Hotrod" so I re established myself with a new account under the name" bettyk " I am deleting that account and will remain as" hotrod" going forward. Please direct any PM to hotrod Thanks	bettyk	0	371	Oct 26, 2017 by bettyk
	-see the pattern again (Preview) I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me. It is so darn hard tonight. My mind is projecting the worse outcome for the alcoholic. He starts a new job tomorrow, and he is drinking tonight. He says, he has anxiety. What a bunch of BS, will not admit he needs, needs with all his body, the alcohol. He needs to be i...	joker	6	502	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Coping (Preview) One thing I have realized in this crazy dance of addiction is no one dance is the same. A very long time good friend is seriously battling her set of crazy at the moment and I had slipped and been dragged into it. I'm not sorry I reached out to one of her other best friends and we are keeping each other appr...	SerenityRUS	2	556	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Binge drinking/disappearing (Preview) Hi guys! Iâm new and really need some advice or support. My partner and I have ha a few ups and downs and itâs down to his drinking. I knew when we met he liked a drink but then it got out of hand when he drank for weeks at a time. When we first got together he slept with someone else, albeit it was only two weeks we...	Leonatalie2	30	768	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	NEW and Unsure (Preview) Hello - I'm very new to this and unsure of how to begin. I don't have a long story to tell. I believe my husband is an alcoholic or, at the very least, an abuser. We have been married for 36 years. I love him so dearly but the past couple of years he's gotten worse. He isn't physically or verbally abusiv...	helloitsme	5	759	Oct 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change October 25 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author discusses one of their character defects: allowing things to happen and making choices passively. The author shares that even though they were so impacted by the effects of living with alcoholism that they were not able to ac...	Skorpi	3	578	Oct 25, 2017 by strong4me
	How to find the Step for the Fortnight? (Preview) Hi there everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon. I'm still learning to navigate around the forum to participate in the "New step each fortnight". I'm wondering if anyone can please tell me how to find it easily when logging in? thanks	Grace R	3	491	Oct 25, 2017 by hotrod
	today, I laughed (Preview) I know recovery is a lot of work. I have worked my but off at it, and I know its not over yet, recovery will always continue in my case. Recovery will never be over for me. Today, I laughed and laughed. It felt so good. It felt wonderful in fact. I have been dealing with crisis after crisis and it has taken its...	joker	5	456	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just My Day and Staying Hopeful (Preview) OK I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, my swollen painful gums or feelings I'm working through. Likely, it's some of each. I had an interview today. My education is recent - not very but relatively recent. It's rare that I have run into an opportunity that encompasses what I studied and with the sam...	tiredtonite	11	810	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is this love or codependence? (Preview) Hello All There I was battling along, but head above water..and then today I sank. After having enough of the alcoholism especially the emotional absence, I kicked him out (abf). I had very good reasons, including a physical attack and lots and lots of disloyalty and betrayal. But then today, he come...	lisa sa	12	677	Oct 24, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Just a Share... (Preview) A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!! She sent this to me today and I just wanted...	Iamhere	6	509	Oct 24, 2017 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 10-24-2017 (Preview) ODAT Reading for 10=24-2017 speaks about the simple fact that life is difficult. . Many admittedly go about expecting life to be entirely free of problems and are constantly disappointed. Alanon suggests that we use the smple tools in order to learn how to accept the difficult times and appr...	bettyk	4	405	Oct 24, 2017 by Iamhere
	Level of Insanity .. (Preview) I seriously had to share this because it helps me see and sort through the insanity of the disease and not just his how it effects the whole family. Well, my XAH informed my daughter that he was graciously keeping her on child support and didn't have to because she is a student. State law in IL used to be th...	SerenityRUS	6	570	Oct 24, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Step Work Board Step 4 posted (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64049908/alanon-step-4-10-23-2017/	bettyk	1	389	Oct 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	Toddler..had to share (Preview)	joker	5	543	Oct 23, 2017 by Jerry F
	C2C, 10/23 (Preview) Coping with a sober alcoholic: The writer discusses the expectations that were not met when the alcoholic he/she loved got sober. Some things became worse. The writer learned that he did not have to react with anger or claim to be right. He learned that he can detach and not doubt himself. The remi...	Lyne	3	517	Oct 23, 2017 by Iamhere
	What is keeping me from... (Preview) I am completing my Legal Separation papers this weekend, and plan on turning them in sometime next week. I have also been reading the posts on Separation vs Divorce. I am currently wondering why I am even considering a separation... why not make it a divorce? 6 years ago, I was in this same position... e...	PosiesandPuppies	6	597	Oct 23, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Children of alcoholic/divorce timing (Preview) Hi MIP family- just looking for some feedback from people whose parents divorce. Did the timing of when they told you make any particular impact besides just getting the bad news? Did they tell you after it was final? did they tell you at beginning of holiday season? Before legal proceeding? I kno...	BethBethBeth	8	775	Oct 23, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Oct 22 hope for today (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how making amends isn't necessarily apologizing to other people, but more about figuring out our part in situations (especially those that don't go very well). What I have noticed is that since I have come to alanon I am very attracted to those who are...	yanksfan51	8	554	Oct 22, 2017 by mamalioness
	how do you find the awakening? (Preview) I was wondering if anyone could find the awaken in	Hoot Nanny	2	423	Oct 22, 2017 by bettyk
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