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Feels Like PTSD
(Preview)
I am new here - and new to Alanon. I've been resistant and resentful about going to meetings, but it's time. I am ACOA, a recovering alcoholic (33 years sober), married to a recovering alcoholic (4 years sober) and mother to an adult alcoholic son who lives with his wife on the second floor of our home. T...
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Krystyna265
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17
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9521
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Drunk driving: HELP! WHAT TO DO?
(Preview)
I just married ( third time) another alcoholic ( Ugh, yes I know). Our first anniversary is the 19th. I thought I knew what I had signed up for. Basically watching him drink himself to death...whether I'm with him or not. I know I am powerless to stop him or change him. He lost his license in 2010. Got i...
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Rxwoman
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6
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842
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Sitting with some feelings today
(Preview)
Hi MIP family! After my AH's latest hospital stay, he went and lived with his mother and sister. After 5 days in the hospital, he was still very weak and they felt he could not adequately care for himself - AND, they wanted to make sure he was not going to drink so that he could enter a facility at the end of th...
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PosiesandPuppies
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9
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695
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Needed to read this
(Preview)
Read Read this from another member and I need to read this over and over again. I need to put it in my head, and remember it. God help me! Quote:What Addicts DoMy name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alo...
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joker
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1
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433
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Needing ESH on this topic
(Preview)
HI MIP family! Today, my estranged AH is supposed to enter a rehab facility. I have no idea for how long - we've been separated since Aug 28. Finally, my legal separation papers are ready for me to sign. Once I sign them, they will be filed with the court, and I will need to serve my AH. In CA, you must have som...
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PosiesandPuppies
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8
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557
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Courage to Change (C2C) 11/3/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses how we grow in recovery and learn the value of having a sponsor. So many of us arrive starving to be heard, and we find in meetings that we can talk freely about that which has been pent up inside. We share and others nod with understanding. They share and mention how they rel...
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Iamhere
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2
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511
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Do Old Habits/Behavious Still Exist With A Newly Recovering Addict
(Preview)
I have gone through this same thing with my ex for the past five years. He just got out of rehab for 6 months and relapsed and re-entered rehab in June for another 3 months. I told him I didn't think he was ready considering he has been dealing with addiction since the age of 14 and he is now 46. I wanted to use a...
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listerine042571
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3
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504
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Feel good
(Preview)
I feel great today, despite the complete insanity of the other day. I have been reading and reading al-anon literature hourly, and I feel great today. I even laughed. I am so grateful; today. The alcoholic is sleeping, what is new. Not my problem, not my issue. I read something today in al-anon things i...
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joker
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3
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436
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New and completely lost......
(Preview)
Hi there, I will keep this brief. I am 36 years old and happily married to my childhood sweetheart and two wonderful kids aged 7 and 5. Here is the s** bit, my Mum is a chronic alcoholic and has been since I was around 10/12. She was once a functional alcoholic, however her health has been effected so badly...
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Linsey24
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5
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511
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Learning to say No
(Preview)
I am learning ever so slowly, NO, No, NO. I had a good laugh today, as the alcoholic was suddenly so nice, saying Good morning, meanwhile, yesterday he was a racing mess, screaming devils get out of this house, and going nuts, alone, upstairs. I was downstairs, reading al-anon. Just like that, a change...
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joker
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1
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420
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thankful
(Preview)
I am trying to see the positives-thank you god, the alcoholic is getting crazier, and more insane when drinking. It just means he is nearing the end, and I can move more into recovery! I say, let him go nuts, but I need to remove myself and give him the space to go completely insane. Have at er. hope it makes...
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joker
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0
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345
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Courage to Change (C2C) 11/2/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." The reading includes a simplified version -- "First I came, then I 'came to', then I came to believe." For many, the journey towards a Higher Power and a spiritual life is a gradual proc...
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Iamhere
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2
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383
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Heartbroken
(Preview)
Hi Guys,I'm not a recovering addict myself, but have been in a relationship with someone who was an addict to a large spectrum of drugs and alcohol and he even went as far as selling it. We met in a recovery unit, me for depression and at the time I thought he was there for the same, but later came to find out t...
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listerine042571
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2
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414
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Yay for program tools!
(Preview)
My STBXAH bought tickets for a football game which means hes taking the kids out of town Saturday. Through our marriage he has done this kind of thing without consulting me at all, sometimes telling me the day of. So this am my daughter informed me of this event. I dropped her off & went home, took...
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BethBethBeth
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5
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562
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judgmental people
(Preview)
It has been my experience that Al-Anon can be a very negative, non-uplifting experience when one attends with people they are very close to, like family or best friends. We are emotionally involved with these people and love them very much, but their presence can be very uncomfortable when we are tr...
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changeme18
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4
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722
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New here
(Preview)
Hello, Im new here.... Ive been married to my alcoholic husband for 15 years(together for 20). He drank almost every day back then but he still went to work and had a normal life. As the years went on he began having panic attacks and the drinking became worse to the point that he couldnt work. That was a...
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Heaven76
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3
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489
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Step 7 posted
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64078912/alanon-step-7-11-1-2017/
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hotrod
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0
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337
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12 step prayer book Nov.1, 2017
(Preview)
Today's entry goes into our commitments to go to the meetings....and to NOT look for the differences, but the similarities in our fellow "roomies" To look for the GOOD in everything that is shared...It reminds us to praise the sober and pray for the drinking and usingaddicts. Also it reminds us that...
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mamalioness
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1
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404
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so torn
(Preview)
i broke up with an alcohlic. end of story. He calls. Sometimes I answer. Most not. I text him sometimes as well as he texts me. I can't cut it off clean. I know he is bad for me . I tell him we won't get back together unless he stops drinking. Lol. He won't of course. So why am I even trying to help him or make it ok...
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JBF490
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8
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491
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crisis
(Preview)
well, its now 6:30 am and its been a night of hell. The alcoholic became more insane, screaming your the devil and let me look at your eyes, the devil is in you. F*** this, f*** this. I did not sleep all night as he kept me up, coming into my room and yelling and screaming at me with insults and arguing with me...
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joker
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4
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469
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Courage to Change November 1
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to change is about horse training. (Actually it isn't but I thought that would be a fun start.) The author equates training horses to dealing with their own racing thoughts. Giving a command over and over again tends to escalate the situation and does n...
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Skorpi
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5
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592
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Is this "normal" drinking?
(Preview)
My new sponsor has suggested to me that my father may be an alcoholic. She is not the first person to say so. Several Al-Anon people have said so over the years. But he doesn't drink *that* much. And I've never heard a non-Alanon person suggest that he might be an alcoholic. So I am kind of wondering if some...
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atheos
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6
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1415
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Grief
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a while. I have been no contact with my alcoholic for 3 months and he died tonight. I'm so sad. I still loved him but just could not live with the disease any longer, it was destroying me, but now I wish I could have stuck it out a bit longer to get to sy goodbye.
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Sorcha
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10
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530
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I flipped tonight
(Preview)
The anger inside me is so bad. I am angry as Saturday morning, I left and stayed away all night. I did not return till the next day. The abf was still on a drunk. All night. I finally had enough and left for the day and night. He phoned me but I did not answer. I came home Sunday, the house was a mess, beer cans eve...
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joker
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5
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519
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Being used
(Preview)
I read on the message board here, and read a member share that the alcoholic uses us and blames everyone but himself and uses us a support system rather then a sponsor or AA. Well, my heart just went wow. When I read that the alcoholic is using us, my blood just started boiling. I am being used! And I am angry...
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joker
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5
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526
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ODAT reading 10-31-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for October 31, reinforces the importance of the Traditions and explains in detail that All-Anon is a fellowship of equals. Groups are held together in close union by obedience to the unenforceable. This is an interesting concept and actually means that each group conducts Al-An...
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hotrod
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4
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611
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a rough time with the "lucid" Insanity
(Preview)
Hi All, been a way far too long it would seem. I am going to meetings and reaching out, but sometimes I just need to get my thoughts out to work through them, hear everyone's ESH. Some days I am doing well and other days I (feel) like I am right back to where I started months ago. I am struggling with my active a...
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pumkin26
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6
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757
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Unbelievable ..
(Preview)
So my XAH is seriously a PIECE OF WORK .. I don't even know where to start with this and I am bringing it here so I don't verbally bury him. After telling our daughter he would help her with some bills and college tuition. I finally heard back from him .. LOL .. is all that is qualified at this point He has no...
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SerenityRUS
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18
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611
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C2C, 10/30
(Preview)
Practicing gratitude: Today's reading talks about the ways in which we can discover and practice gratitude. The author says that he/she would hear people in meetings say they were grateful for being involved with an alcoholic, which brought them to Alanon. And he saw people who were happy in spi...
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Lyne
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6
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468
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Oct 15 - My 29 year anniversary of marriage
(Preview)
So the headliner says it all. 29 years. I have been physically separated from my AH for a little over a month... emotionally, perhaps a year. Last night I had a crying jag. First time I have cried since proclaiming to my AH that it was "Him or me, but someone was leaving the house," in August. It was weird....
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PosiesandPuppies
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16
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781
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starting over..........again
(Preview)
I'm not sure what I should be doing right at this moment. This morning has started off with a feeling of fighting a losin battle. I decided I'm going to work the steps, grabbed a notebook, when to step one, wrote down the questions, and started to answer. Well doesn't that just suck when you have to be hone...
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Curlyblu
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4
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654
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Paranoid
(Preview)
He is paranoid - and fears things that haven't happened, and aren't in my heart to happen. Such as me having an affair. It's like, if he fears it, it *must* be real, regardless of my reality. I read this, and its my reality. He is using and paranoid! he projects, things onto me. I am learning, leave the roo...
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joker
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5
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500
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Cheating and Alcoholic
(Preview)
hey everyone Iâve been gone for a while but Iâm back on here again trying to still understand a few things. many times I said I was going to leave my alcoholic boyfriend and I came close to it quite a few times but basically this past June he ended up leaving me. I truly donât know if he is still sticking to his...
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Aerin
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8
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473
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why me? I will make this brief
(Preview)
I am struggling w the idea & plan to have my mom move back up here. Long story short my mom has been in & out of mental hospital for the last three years. I am struggling really because she shouldn't come back due to the fact that she has done so much damage that the move would be I think very unsuccess...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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570
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The holidays
(Preview)
This is just a reminder to start beefing up the self care. Holidays are hard for the best of them Thanksgiving and Christmas is a double whammy The ex A used to drag me over the coals on Christmas I permitted it. I let him make all the choice. My.choice was to wallow in self pity, resentment and envy. I...
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Maresie
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2
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581
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furstration
(Preview)
Today I took a new step and decided to see an addictions counsellor. Most of the stuff I learnt I had already known but didn't really put into action.....looking after me...my spirit, my well being. Surprise! Having someone now that I can work with on this will be of a benifit. I have homework before we...
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Curlyblu
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12
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612
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Step Board Step 5 and 6 posted
(Preview)
Step 5 and 6 has been posted to the Step work Board Please join in and share your thoughts as I am trying to finish this Step go around before the end of the year..Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64069372/al-anon-step-fiveoct-29-2017/ http://stepwork.activeboard....
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hotrod
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0
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366
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Advice on addict comming home
(Preview)
Hi everyone new here. My fiance is getting out of a 30 day rehab and i am trying to write a non negotiable letter that the facility wants me to write for her i would like some advice on your thoughts.
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Glamisfun
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6
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638
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Step work board
(Preview)
Confused.... I read through the sticky(s).....can someone answer a few questions please. Okay I'm going to start at step one....it appears the newest step is 4 (or something) do I need to wait till step 1 is the most recent new thread, before I can comment/share my thoughts on step 1? Since I'm on step...
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Curlyblu
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2
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405
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Oct 29 Hope for Today
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how many of us came to the program with the instinct of taking everything we hear (about ourselves) to heart. I know that I have the tendency to dwell and ruminate on things that are said to me and I have been working on letting some things wash past me, wit...
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yanksfan51
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2
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421
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learning the word NO
(Preview)
I just read on enabling an alcoholic, I must admit I am enabling my abf. I am making life very comfortable for him. To comfortable. I am there to give him money when he has none, drive him to the liquor store, (I have said no before, but last weekend, I did drive him as he was begging me to drive him there, but I...
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joker
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1
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484
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Odat reading 10/28/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about times when the "poor me " mood is upon us, we can become overwhelmed with all the troubles we have to face daily in our lives, or when we begin to change our thinking about ourselves and our relation to others the reading suggests there is a better way to act and be " empty our m...
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lookingup
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6
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2600
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Not need help
(Preview)
I did not take into account he might not want to be helped. Just read this from a member. What an eye opener. I have not considered this. I keep forcing my will and saying you need to get help with your drinking. I might as well talk to the wall. I am learning to not even talk about drinking around him, let him...
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joker
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2
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418
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Article on enabling an alcoholic
(Preview)
How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic or AddictLearn the Difference Between Helping and EnablingBy Buddy T | Reviewed by Richard N. Fogoros, MDUpdated September 16, 2017 Share Pin EmailPRINT Are you enabling an alcoholic? Here's how to stop. © Getty ImagesMore in Substance UseSupport for F...
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joker
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0
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720
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/27/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discuss the unlimited love and grace we get by trusting in a power greater than self. The reader discusses a beach setting where they are sitting, relaxing and looking at the many others enjoying the sun/sand. The writer realizes that no matter how crowded the beach is, there is eno...
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Iamhere
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6
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469
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how much is too much?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here. Not really sure where to start other then saying that my wife is addicted to pain medication. I usually like to try to figure my problems out on my own but I am at a breaking point with my wife and I need some advice. We will have been married 8 yrs this may with a 10 yr old son. weve lived to...
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petepeterman
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7
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606
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Program being used in other places besides my AH! Yipeeee!
(Preview)
Good morning all! So I just wanted to post something about using your tools in other areas of your life. This morning was the umpteenth time my teen son has gotten up late and will be missing his jazz band class (7 am class). While I am getting up and getting ready for the day, he casually asks if he can just s...
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PosiesandPuppies
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7
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576
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I just can't say those words to him why?
(Preview)
Hello everyone I haven't been here in a long time. I've been going to therapy for a year and a half and it has done wonders for me finding myself again. I am not the whole person I was but I am getting there. Over 2 years ago my abf said some trust breaking personal threatening things to me that I have not be...
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Holly09
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12
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674
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Courage to Change (C2) 10/26/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about reacting vs. responding - especially to others when we are suffering. The writer discusses how the unkind words of others felt as well as how criticism sent her reeling. The writer found it hard to consider the harsh words might be untrue and may borderline on abuse. In t...
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Iamhere
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5
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678
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new log on name
(Preview)
i had difficulty with my original log in name:"Hotrod" so I re established myself with a new account under the name" bettyk " I am deleting that account and will remain as" hotrod" going forward. Please direct any PM to hotrod Thanks
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bettyk
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0
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404
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-see the pattern again
(Preview)
I am trying so hard to keep the focus on me. It is so darn hard tonight. My mind is projecting the worse outcome for the alcoholic. He starts a new job tomorrow, and he is drinking tonight. He says, he has anxiety. What a bunch of BS, will not admit he needs, needs with all his body, the alcohol. He needs to be i...
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joker
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6
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538
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Coping
(Preview)
One thing I have realized in this crazy dance of addiction is no one dance is the same. A very long time good friend is seriously battling her set of crazy at the moment and I had slipped and been dragged into it. I'm not sorry I reached out to one of her other best friends and we are keeping each other appr...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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595
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Binge drinking/disappearing
(Preview)
Hi guys! Iâm new and really need some advice or support. My partner and I have ha a few ups and downs and itâs down to his drinking. I knew when we met he liked a drink but then it got out of hand when he drank for weeks at a time. When we first got together he slept with someone else, albeit it was only two weeks we...
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Leonatalie2
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30
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807
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NEW and Unsure
(Preview)
Hello - I'm very new to this and unsure of how to begin. I don't have a long story to tell. I believe my husband is an alcoholic or, at the very least, an abuser. We have been married for 36 years. I love him so dearly but the past couple of years he's gotten worse. He isn't physically or verbally abusiv...
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helloitsme
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5
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800
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Courage to Change October 25
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author discusses one of their character defects: allowing things to happen and making choices passively. The author shares that even though they were so impacted by the effects of living with alcoholism that they were not able to ac...
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Skorpi
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3
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614
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How to find the Step for the Fortnight?
(Preview)
Hi there everyone, I'm a grateful member of Alanon. I'm still learning to navigate around the forum to participate in the "New step each fortnight". I'm wondering if anyone can please tell me how to find it easily when logging in? thanks
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Grace R
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3
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535
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today, I laughed
(Preview)
I know recovery is a lot of work. I have worked my but off at it, and I know its not over yet, recovery will always continue in my case. Recovery will never be over for me. Today, I laughed and laughed. It felt so good. It felt wonderful in fact. I have been dealing with crisis after crisis and it has taken its...
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joker
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5
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493
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Just My Day and Staying Hopeful
(Preview)
OK I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, my swollen painful gums or feelings I'm working through. Likely, it's some of each. I had an interview today. My education is recent - not very but relatively recent. It's rare that I have run into an opportunity that encompasses what I studied and with the sam...
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tiredtonite
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11
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854
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Is this love or codependence?
(Preview)
Hello All There I was battling along, but head above water..and then today I sank. After having enough of the alcoholism especially the emotional absence, I kicked him out (abf). I had very good reasons, including a physical attack and lots and lots of disloyalty and betrayal. But then today, he come...
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lisa sa
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12
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712
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Just a Share...
(Preview)
A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!! She sent this to me today and I just wanted...
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Iamhere
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6
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549
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