Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

megan · megan

Said to me by my co-worker this morning as we talked. He said that he has alot of emotional scars from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents He got alot of physical and mental pain and is struggling with his emotions over it. I gave him my "Hope for Today" book. Its an okay book but not too...

nycbt · nycbt

The things that are posted in section our my life story which I broke down into section hoping that I could help some of you out there. An it is good to hear feed back. Thanks

debilyn · debilyn

Hi, well I was not sure how to respond when A did call. I saw it was him and took a breath. I said hello, he immediately said how are you? I changed the subject quickly. I told him I will not be telling him anything about me. Neither will my loved ones. That I have learned who really loves me the last fe...

lilleah · lilleah

ok, my A decided NOT to go to the bar, and somehow, I know I will be blamed for this! I will be blamed b/c I didn't tell him which bar to go to! All I said was how I would like it if he stayed close to home, and didn't drive to the bar he used to go to which is across town. We moved, so now he is further away from that bar...

nycbt · nycbt

ALCOHOLIC FATHER My foster father turned adopted father was also an alcoholic. When my adopted father drank, I was upset, angry, and very disappointed in him. I lost trust in any promises he had. I wouldn’t believe anything he said when it came to going anywhere. I would wait outside for him and he wo...

sanddie · sanddie

I am not sure if any of you are familiar with this place. However, thought I'd share it with you, as it is a rehabilitation center for teens with substance abuse. I went there last week to see what they offered for adolescents. I wanted to stay--it was phenomena...

nycbt · nycbt

RICK’S SON MOVED IN In Jan of 2004 Feb. his son moved into a very small apt. He was supposed to be there for a little while. Rick drank so bad when he moved in her would start fighting and naming calling. He would start hanging out with people that were also drinkers. Two of them were drunk all the...

lilleah · lilleah

sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I had my baby 6wks ago and have been very busy. How is everyone? My A was good for awhile, he didn't go out all the time, and we would go together, but now he is blaming me for not going anywhere, and just being generally miserable. He has told me about 3 times recently that he...

nycbt · nycbt

I am proud of the progress that I have made in the last six months. My tempter: I have been getting very good with that. I haven't thrown glass, cut my self, only a couple of times started screaming. I have calm down quicker then I used to. I am trying to work on the things I like to do like reading, sittin...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, Just thinking today. I talked to the kids about what they want, and they basically told me it is my decision. They told me they love him and wish he would sober up. They said that they would prefer he wasn't with his parents becasue it is hard to even call him, as they answer the phone, and none of them w...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I haven't posted recently, I have been running around helping get ready for the Proms and Graduation. My sons Prom was on Friday night, he looked so handsome and of course I cried. His girlfriend looked lovely and they had a wonderful time. One down, one more Prom next weekend and two gra...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Hiya Everyone, Well we have closed on our new home. Myself and 5 teens moved all day on Friday to get us in there but we are in. Husband came home from work and couldnt believe that we pulled it all off in one day without him. He wasnt able to help with the move because of work...

jj · jj

I posted the other night about how hubby and I had gone to a friends and it ended up with me not ever wanting to go out like that again. Well I was upset and angry about what had happend and I don't think that I made the situation clear. Hubby had gone a week with out getting drunk and I had had reserv...

Jolert · Jolert

Hello, my name is Jenny. This is my first post to this board, reading other messages here the last few days has helped me. Hopefully sharing this will help others as well as myself. I'd also like to meet some people here who could provide good examples and share support. I live with my husband who is an a...

John · John

http://www.12stepforums.net/mid/musicballs.wmv Click the Link Above and put a smile on your face. John

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

My hubby stepped over the line a few nights ago. He physically harmed my 23 year old son. (Son is okay now but he did have to go to ER and we had to watch him for concussion.) Hubby is out of the house and I have stated he has to go for help if he wants to be here in this relationship and family...

chad79 · chad79

I am a 25 year old male in Iowa. I have never really ever drank myself because of my mom. She had me in high school and then got pregant again 6 years later and got married. Then she had another baby early and he died a few months later of SIDS and that was hard on her, then she got divorced and had a...

nmike · nmike

My husband moved out June 1st to a new town and a new job. We agreed on this date because it was after our last son's high school graduation and I would be on a trip. We didn't talk to each other for a week. He had originally said that he didn't want to talk to me or do anything with me for a year. Now, that is extre...

debilyn · debilyn

Been thinking and praying for you. What a hard thing to deal with. I know you love your family very much and do your best for them. One thing Kis that I have to say, abuse is NOT from being an alcoholic. It is a totally separate problem. Same as if they cheat, totally not from being A. Even if the...

nycbt · nycbt

Since I ave join the Alanon program, I have gain more friends. It is nice to have people I can talk to. A place where I feel safe. A place I know that they will not judge me. What every I tell them they understand because they have been there. Lately I have been opening up in the face to face meeting wh...

holly123 · holly123

I was just reading Chad's post and while responding I realized how much I had learned in the year I have been here about detachment. When I first started I believed detachment meant, put a big wall up between you and don't do anything for them. I completely missed the with love part of the...

nycbt · nycbt

On Saturday I got into a minor accident. I was a little upset but I had faith that everything would work out. I was glad that my hight power was watching over me. On Saturday I was going through a street that had cars park on both sides and very packed. I went through the street very happy that I made it. Cam...

gardengal · gardengal

This disease of alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, inciduous disease. As we become increasingly aware of the family disease, many of us discover that we have performed a particular function in our family or group. Friends and family members play a wide variety of supporting roles in the fami...

megan · megan

I have found an apartment. i filled out the app, left a deposit and am waiting on the credit check i like the apartment. it is on the third floor on the corner with a view of NYC. it will cost me $4000 to move in. I only have $4000 if i do not pay my credit card bill. It is $3000 due to living in the hotel. So I...

nycbt · nycbt

I don't know about any of you but sometimes I get very obessed about things, whether it is eating something I am not supposed to have, or calling someone. It is like something takes over your body and you can't control what is happening. I have lots of obessions that get me into alot of trobule at times. ...

debilyn · debilyn

I was afraid I would get into trouble with my last post. Felt it was negative and not my usual, forgive the A becuz he is sick. Was pleasantly surprised at the great responses!! Thank you! SMOINKS, SMOINKS, SMOINKS!! (smack + oink) So today I calmly took down our marriage license, took d...

holly123 · holly123

I just wanted to thank everyone for their responses to my post "Its working!!!!". I was feeling a little down because friday night yet again he stayed out late at his friends, he was supposed to be home at 6:00 to watch my son but never showed up to releave his family, when I got back from my da...

Phil · Phil

Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are slower than you in developing maturi...

wille · wille

Hi all, Howdy! I promise to put a blurb on site re the movie, "What the bleep do we know." It is a movie that explores the reconstruction of one's reality. It is based on physical laws - as one changes their mindset, their reality shifts. Neurons and sysapses regroup that affect real...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hello all, I'm in desperate need of insight. Long story short--binge drinking hubby entered a 30 day program in March. Did well there---came out and went on a week binge. Came home humiliated and shamed--started back to AA, calling his rehab friends, etc. Never...

Christy · Christy

My son is home in total misery, but the surgery is done. He said it feels like someone hit him in the face with a baseball bat. He has packing in his sinuses and a lovely gauze bandage under his nose for drainage. It's a good thing he's so wiped out or he'd be throwing a fit, saying he look...

Donna · Donna

I'm sitting here at 1:40 a.m. and of course, my A has not come back from the bar yet (where he's been for the last almost 10 hours--a 'short' outing for him)... It truly burns me that he can't make it home right after the bar closes. Where does he go? Honestly, thoughts race from him walking ho...

Jolert · Jolert

Hello everyone, Last night was so odd I need to share it, perhaps someone will have some comment or something. i needed to get out of the house and asked my A (sober for 2 weeks but not in program) if he was up to going to see a band at a neighborhood theatre with me. They do serve beer there and I would have...

Powerless · Powerless

I have started on my increased dosage of Prozac...hope it helps. the therapist told me to keep taking it and accept teh fact that I am depressed. I explained to her that I felt it was the most useless of emotions. I am just trying to wait it out and wait for things to get better. I...

debilyn · debilyn

I know a lot is becuz of my situation right now. Waiting for the ultra sound the 14th is pretty rough. Limbo is hard on us all. I woke at five am and drove to see A. He was very nice and appropriate. I mean he was empathetic and loving. Says he is clean and sober. Again I say that is not my concern. B...

gardengal · gardengal

Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for the disappointment. Living with A's many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense o...

Christy · Christy

My 15 yr old son is having surgery in the morning (7 a.m.) on his sinuses. I understand it's nothing major, but he's my baby and I'd sure feel better with some extra prayers. I just reread the paper the doctor gave me of possible complications, and OMG!..I shouldn't have..lol&nb...

teddybear · teddybear

Hi Everyone, What a surprise I had today!! Yesterday was a really difficult day for me, because I felt so misunderstood. We got up early in the morning, and my husband asked me to take a walk before breakfast. When we came back home, he decided to pull out weeds, so I ate breakfast alone.&...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi all, I was wondering what are the best books for a newcomer. I don't have alot of time (three kids) but know I need to start finding anwers. Also I don't go to face to face meetings. I am only onthis website. I have seen then here to oder but MY A dosen't like ordering over the...

debilyn · debilyn

You know, I feel like, if my A wanted help, he would get it. He is choosing to allow the disease to kill him. He is choosing not to be there for me. He chose not to be there for his dieing brother. I for one say I have had it. I hope I cont. to feel this way. I love him, I love how I love him. But it is wasted...

jj · jj

So Hubby and I got invited to a friends house, just supposed to be like a family thing with the kids. So any how I was informed this mornig that no kids were to be there and they were going to have this party rather than just a get together.... So of course going through ever thing that I am right...

lin0606 · lin0606

I went outside for a few minutes last night, just to let the dog out before I went to bed. Sat on the front steps, the streetlight was shining through the trees, and it brought back the memories of a night, ten years or so ago. At this point my husband was drinking heavily, spending most of his evenings...

megan · megan

i can't chair this meeting as the MIRC does not work through the hotel firewall. If someone else can chair please do I am sorry.

teddybear · teddybear

"Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." Mary McLeod Bethune I see this quote as very true, because when I have resentment or if I am unable to forgive, the only person that I am hurting is really myself. The person who we resent, does not...

lost · lost

i have filed for divorce. i am living at home, my husband has moved out. when i filed his tune changed---he would do anything--but of course that was limited to one marriage counseling session, only one month of sobriety that would only happen if i let him come home and of course, no long term help...

elizabeth · elizabeth

I Am Finding Me Who is it in this mirror that stands in front of me is that really who I am or someone I just see is she really something of anything I am inside or just another mask put on just another place to hide she's someone I think I love now that I've let her close she's the one I pushed away I've deserted h...

Donna · Donna

Hi, I'm curious. My A has been drinking for 15 years and more (I've been with him for 15). Anyway, I don't know if it's just the addiction or what but I have seen him really lapse in his hygiene habits over the years. It makes me feel like his mother when I point out that he maybe needs to bathe...

whatif · whatif

Megan, I just read your reply to my post. I have been reading here for a while. I have been reading what you have been doing and I am so glad for your truck! Also that you will have an apartment. When I go away for a few days I think a hotel is nice but after about the third night I want my own bed. And to have my jeep...

nycbt · nycbt

Six months ago I had two guy friends. Today I have lots of girlfriends on and off line. I am proud of my self with the progress I have made. I am also happy with the help of my new friends from Alanon that I can talk to an express my life with.

holly123 · holly123

Hi All, I am noticing so much change in myself, I have been trying to control my mouth and keep my mind on myself. My a is still active and still does things that make me want to strangle him but I have managed to maintain this calm, just don't react attitude for 95% of the week....

debilyn · debilyn

Sending love to ya's. I saw a REAL doctor today. My doc is gone for 3 weeks. Her nurse was so nice. the doc came in and she was so nice too! Made me feel right at ease. My blood pressure was not high like it is when I see my doc. My doc is a young man and his nurse is a bit of a crabby old lady... Anyway...

Belongtome · Belongtome

Hi...it's been a long week, but I finally feel like I'm finding a few moments to take care of myself. I've been enjoying my granddaughter, but have called and enrolled her in daycare duing the day, as all the family are busy elsewhere. (Don't they realize what a gift this time is with her vi...

jj · jj

So you all know that the "talk" went very well. Lastnight I fully expected hubby to go out and get bommed as a result of the talk. I was told by a friend that it is very common that the A's do that while trying to digest everything and then and only then would he come to me. Well I also kno...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

"No man is a failure who is enjoying life"---William Feather (Enjoying yourself and life, is one of the best forms of detachment there is!)

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Said to me, wallsal55, in an open meeting 3 weeks ago by an AA member: "The most powerful thing is a Wife in Alanon. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here." "If I wasn't happy anymore, then there was nobody to blame for my unhappiness except myself."

Have a Gr...

whatif · whatif

Yesterday was another binge day for A (husband) this one over 9 hours. I've been posting about this for a while. That binging once a week like clock work ever since a good friend got killed in an auto accident about 2 months ago. I have been trying to stop the screaming and crying when he comes home. I did re...

nycbt · nycbt

I am going to try and not call my husband. It is going to be a very hard thing to do. I love to call him and see how he is doing. I love to hear his voice. It is going to be min to min for me. I am hoping by my help of my higher power. I don't why it is so diffuclt for me to stop calling him. When he goes to his meeting I am...

mastiff · mastiff

FEAR Hey now I gotcha to read my post with that topic didn't I!!!!!!! Just what kinda ladie did you think i was anyway? Know what I think about fear? I think it's a great big coward. Sure some fear has a bit of a big head and shows itself openly, but for the most part, I have found that...

elizabeth · elizabeth

- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. - Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. - Always read stuff that will ma...

Powerless · Powerless

I feel like I am in the middle of a great big ocean and am sinking. I feel a deep depression coming on and am not sure what to do. I just feel so lost. I am looking for all of the wrong things in all of the wrong places. I feel irritable and moody. Doctor upped my Prozac. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Even a dog can be conditioned to starve (Preview) Said to me by my co-worker this morning as we talked. He said that he has alot of emotional scars from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents He got alot of physical and mental pain and is struggling with his emotions over it. I gave him my "Hope for Today" book. Its an okay book but not too...	megan	1	958	Jun 9, 2005 by Jolert
	my life story (Preview) The things that are posted in section our my life story which I broke down into section hoping that I could help some of you out there. An it is good to hear feed back. Thanks	nycbt	1	905	Jun 9, 2005 by Jolert
	A called/update (Preview) Hi, well I was not sure how to respond when A did call. I saw it was him and took a breath. I said hello, he immediately said how are you? I changed the subject quickly. I told him I will not be telling him anything about me. Neither will my loved ones. That I have learned who really loves me the last fe...	debilyn	5	1167	Jun 8, 2005 by Jeannie
	taking the blame again! (Preview) ok, my A decided NOT to go to the bar, and somehow, I know I will be blamed for this! I will be blamed b/c I didn't tell him which bar to go to! All I said was how I would like it if he stayed close to home, and didn't drive to the bar he used to go to which is across town. We moved, so now he is further away from that bar...	lilleah	5	1141	Jun 8, 2005 by Jill
	my adopted father (Preview) ALCOHOLIC FATHER My foster father turned adopted father was also an alcoholic. When my adopted father drank, I was upset, angry, and very disappointed in him. I lost trust in any promises he had. I wouldn’t believe anything he said when it came to going anywhere. I would wait outside for him and he wo...	nycbt	2	1126	Jun 8, 2005 by nycbt
	Adolescent Treatment Facility...... (Preview) I am not sure if any of you are familiar with this place. However, thought I'd share it with you, as it is a rehabilitation center for teens with substance abuse. I went there last week to see what they offered for adolescents. I wanted to stay--it was phenomena...	sanddie	0	861	Jun 8, 2005 by sanddie
	RICK’S SON MOVED IN (Preview) RICK’S SON MOVED IN In Jan of 2004 Feb. his son moved into a very small apt. He was supposed to be there for a little while. Rick drank so bad when he moved in her would start fighting and naming calling. He would start hanging out with people that were also drinkers. Two of them were drunk all the...	nycbt	0	846	Jun 8, 2005 by nycbt
	hi-sorry I haven't posted in awhile (Preview) sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I had my baby 6wks ago and have been very busy. How is everyone? My A was good for awhile, he didn't go out all the time, and we would go together, but now he is blaming me for not going anywhere, and just being generally miserable. He has told me about 3 times recently that he...	lilleah	2	1005	Jun 8, 2005 by jj
	PROUD OF ME (Preview) I am proud of the progress that I have made in the last six months. My tempter: I have been getting very good with that. I haven't thrown glass, cut my self, only a couple of times started screaming. I have calm down quicker then I used to. I am trying to work on the things I like to do like reading, sittin...	nycbt	3	1010	Jun 8, 2005 by jj
	Decisions (Preview) Hi, Just thinking today. I talked to the kids about what they want, and they basically told me it is my decision. They told me they love him and wish he would sober up. They said that they would prefer he wasn't with his parents becasue it is hard to even call him, as they answer the phone, and none of them w...	Jeannie	8	1198	Jun 7, 2005 by honeybunnydog
	Not sure how to proceed (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't posted recently, I have been running around helping get ready for the Proms and Graduation. My sons Prom was on Friday night, he looked so handsome and of course I cried. His girlfriend looked lovely and they had a wonderful time. One down, one more Prom next weekend and two gra...	Jeannie	8	1296	Jun 7, 2005 by jo4
	A Great Success... (Preview) Hiya Everyone, Well we have closed on our new home. Myself and 5 teens moved all day on Friday to get us in there but we are in. Husband came home from work and couldnt believe that we pulled it all off in one day without him. He wasnt able to help with the move because of work...	AlaMom	8	1092	Jun 7, 2005 by cloud
	Isolation (Preview) I posted the other night about how hubby and I had gone to a friends and it ended up with me not ever wanting to go out like that again. Well I was upset and angry about what had happend and I don't think that I made the situation clear. Hubby had gone a week with out getting drunk and I had had reserv...	jj	3	867	Jun 7, 2005 by nmike
	Hello out there!!! (Preview) Hello, my name is Jenny. This is my first post to this board, reading other messages here the last few days has helped me. Hopefully sharing this will help others as well as myself. I'd also like to meet some people here who could provide good examples and share support. I live with my husband who is an a...	Jolert	8	1165	Jun 7, 2005 by Jolert
	Talent Show (Preview) http://www.12stepforums.net/mid/musicballs.wmv Click the Link Above and put a smile on your face. John	John	2	1080	Jun 7, 2005 by jj
	HELP (Preview) My hubby stepped over the line a few nights ago. He physically harmed my 23 year old son. (Son is okay now but he did have to go to ER and we had to watch him for concussion.) Hubby is out of the house and I have stated he has to go for help if he wants to be here in this relationship and family...	kismetstrand	13	971	Jun 7, 2005 by bob6502
	New to Board - Need Advice (Preview) I am a 25 year old male in Iowa. I have never really ever drank myself because of my mom. She had me in high school and then got pregant again 6 years later and got married. Then she had another baby early and he died a few months later of SIDS and that was hard on her, then she got divorced and had a...	chad79	9	1234	Jun 7, 2005 by lin0606
	He's gone (Preview) My husband moved out June 1st to a new town and a new job. We agreed on this date because it was after our last son's high school graduation and I would be on a trip. We didn't talk to each other for a week. He had originally said that he didn't want to talk to me or do anything with me for a year. Now, that is extre...	nmike	5	1222	Jun 7, 2005 by abbyal
	kis (Preview) Been thinking and praying for you. What a hard thing to deal with. I know you love your family very much and do your best for them. One thing Kis that I have to say, abuse is NOT from being an alcoholic. It is a totally separate problem. Same as if they cheat, totally not from being A. Even if the...	debilyn	1	1079	Jun 7, 2005 by kismetstrand
	FRIENDS/God (Preview) Since I ave join the Alanon program, I have gain more friends. It is nice to have people I can talk to. A place where I feel safe. A place I know that they will not judge me. What every I tell them they understand because they have been there. Lately I have been opening up in the face to face meeting wh...	nycbt	0	878	Jun 7, 2005 by nycbt
	Detachment (Preview) I was just reading Chad's post and while responding I realized how much I had learned in the year I have been here about detachment. When I first started I believed detachment meant, put a big wall up between you and don't do anything for them. I completely missed the with love part of the...	holly123	3	1187	Jun 7, 2005 by nycbt
	SATURDAY (Preview) On Saturday I got into a minor accident. I was a little upset but I had faith that everything would work out. I was glad that my hight power was watching over me. On Saturday I was going through a street that had cars park on both sides and very packed. I went through the street very happy that I made it. Cam...	nycbt	1	995	Jun 7, 2005 by holly123
	Are we blaming ourselves for the A's actions? (Preview) This disease of alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, inciduous disease. As we become increasingly aware of the family disease, many of us discover that we have performed a particular function in our family or group. Friends and family members play a wide variety of supporting roles in the fami...	gardengal	0	933	Jun 7, 2005 by gardengal
	My apartment (Preview) I have found an apartment. i filled out the app, left a deposit and am waiting on the credit check i like the apartment. it is on the third floor on the corner with a view of NYC. it will cost me $4000 to move in. I only have $4000 if i do not pay my credit card bill. It is $3000 due to living in the hotel. So I...	megan	8	1295	Jun 7, 2005 by nycbt
	Obession (Preview) I don't know about any of you but sometimes I get very obessed about things, whether it is eating something I am not supposed to have, or calling someone. It is like something takes over your body and you can't control what is happening. I have lots of obessions that get me into alot of trobule at times. ...	nycbt	7	1138	Jun 7, 2005 by nycbt
	you guys are cool! (Preview) I was afraid I would get into trouble with my last post. Felt it was negative and not my usual, forgive the A becuz he is sick. Was pleasantly surprised at the great responses!! Thank you! SMOINKS, SMOINKS, SMOINKS!! (smack + oink) So today I calmly took down our marriage license, took d...	debilyn	2	795	Jun 6, 2005 by debilyn
	Wow, Thanks (Preview) I just wanted to thank everyone for their responses to my post "Its working!!!!". I was feeling a little down because friday night yet again he stayed out late at his friends, he was supposed to be home at 6:00 to watch my son but never showed up to releave his family, when I got back from my da...	holly123	2	959	Jun 6, 2005 by gardengal
	Patience (Preview) Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need for immediate gratification. Display tolerance, compassion, understanding, and acceptance toward those who are slower than you in developing maturi...	Phil	1	1151	Jun 6, 2005 by efd354
	What the bleep (Preview) Hi all, Howdy! I promise to put a blurb on site re the movie, "What the bleep do we know." It is a movie that explores the reconstruction of one's reality. It is based on physical laws - as one changes their mindset, their reality shifts. Neurons and sysapses regroup that affect real...	wille	1	999	Jun 6, 2005 by DanaAngel
	looking for insight during early "recovery" (Preview) Hello all, I'm in desperate need of insight. Long story short--binge drinking hubby entered a 30 day program in March. Did well there---came out and went on a week binge. Came home humiliated and shamed--started back to AA, calling his rehab friends, etc. Never...	mom to 2	7	2554	Jun 6, 2005 by mom to 2
	Surgery update (Preview) My son is home in total misery, but the surgery is done. He said it feels like someone hit him in the face with a baseball bat. He has packing in his sinuses and a lovely gauze bandage under his nose for drainage. It's a good thing he's so wiped out or he'd be throwing a fit, saying he look...	Christy	4	982	Jun 6, 2005 by kerry5
	infuriated again.. (Preview) I'm sitting here at 1:40 a.m. and of course, my A has not come back from the bar yet (where he's been for the last almost 10 hours--a 'short' outing for him)... It truly burns me that he can't make it home right after the bar closes. Where does he go? Honestly, thoughts race from him walking ho...	Donna	9	1156	Jun 6, 2005 by holly123
	Strange night (Preview) Hello everyone, Last night was so odd I need to share it, perhaps someone will have some comment or something. i needed to get out of the house and asked my A (sober for 2 weeks but not in program) if he was up to going to see a band at a neighborhood theatre with me. They do serve beer there and I would have...	Jolert	4	848	Jun 6, 2005 by Jolert
	Life spiraling out of control (Preview) I have started on my increased dosage of Prozac...hope it helps. the therapist told me to keep taking it and accept teh fact that I am depressed. I explained to her that I felt it was the most useless of emotions. I am just trying to wait it out and wait for things to get better. I...	Powerless	3	879	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Please help me understand (Preview) I know a lot is becuz of my situation right now. Waiting for the ultra sound the 14th is pretty rough. Limbo is hard on us all. I woke at five am and drove to see A. He was very nice and appropriate. I mean he was empathetic and loving. Says he is clean and sober. Again I say that is not my concern. B...	debilyn	6	845	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Are we ready to face reality? (Preview) Life is a package deal. It is not enough to look at the parts we like. It is necessary to face the whole picture so that we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for the disappointment. Living with A's many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense o...	gardengal	2	1142	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	Prayer Request Please (Preview) My 15 yr old son is having surgery in the morning (7 a.m.) on his sinuses. I understand it's nothing major, but he's my baby and I'd sure feel better with some extra prayers. I just reread the paper the doctor gave me of possible complications, and OMG!..I shouldn't have..lol&nb...	Christy	7	821	Jun 6, 2005 by gardengal
	Communication?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, What a surprise I had today!! Yesterday was a really difficult day for me, because I felt so misunderstood. We got up early in the morning, and my husband asked me to take a walk before breakfast. When we came back home, he decided to pull out weeds, so I ate breakfast alone.&...	teddybear	3	1050	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	books (Preview) Hi all, I was wondering what are the best books for a newcomer. I don't have alot of time (three kids) but know I need to start finding anwers. Also I don't go to face to face meetings. I am only onthis website. I have seen then here to oder but MY A dosen't like ordering over the...	nikkilou	4	1084	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	today these are my thoughts (Preview) You know, I feel like, if my A wanted help, he would get it. He is choosing to allow the disease to kill him. He is choosing not to be there for me. He chose not to be there for his dieing brother. I for one say I have had it. I hope I cont. to feel this way. I love him, I love how I love him. But it is wasted...	debilyn	3	970	Jun 6, 2005 by Jeannie
	What Would you do?? (Preview) So Hubby and I got invited to a friends house, just supposed to be like a family thing with the kids. So any how I was informed this mornig that no kids were to be there and they were going to have this party rather than just a get together.... So of course going through ever thing that I am right...	jj	5	1232	Jun 5, 2005 by bcanuck
	Wasted Time (Preview) I went outside for a few minutes last night, just to let the dog out before I went to bed. Sat on the front steps, the streetlight was shining through the trees, and it brought back the memories of a night, ten years or so ago. At this point my husband was drinking heavily, spending most of his evenings...	lin0606	3	1184	Jun 5, 2005 by TLC2
	7pm Sunday meeting (Preview) i can't chair this meeting as the MIRC does not work through the hotel firewall. If someone else can chair please do I am sorry.	megan	0	843	Jun 5, 2005 by megan
	A little quote (Preview) "Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." Mary McLeod Bethune I see this quote as very true, because when I have resentment or if I am unable to forgive, the only person that I am hurting is really myself. The person who we resent, does not...	teddybear	2	917	Jun 5, 2005 by Samena
	grief clouds it (Preview) i have filed for divorce. i am living at home, my husband has moved out. when i filed his tune changed---he would do anything--but of course that was limited to one marriage counseling session, only one month of sobriety that would only happen if i let him come home and of course, no long term help...	lost	5	1154	Jun 5, 2005 by Samena
	mirror, mirror on the wall.... (Preview) I Am Finding Me Who is it in this mirror that stands in front of me is that really who I am or someone I just see is she really something of anything I am inside or just another mask put on just another place to hide she's someone I think I love now that I've let her close she's the one I pushed away I've deserted h...	elizabeth	1	996	Jun 5, 2005 by Samena
	A real smell here or ? (Preview) Hi, I'm curious. My A has been drinking for 15 years and more (I've been with him for 15). Anyway, I don't know if it's just the addiction or what but I have seen him really lapse in his hygiene habits over the years. It makes me feel like his mother when I point out that he maybe needs to bathe...	Donna	6	1245	Jun 4, 2005 by whitie
	Megan (Preview) Megan, I just read your reply to my post. I have been reading here for a while. I have been reading what you have been doing and I am so glad for your truck! Also that you will have an apartment. When I go away for a few days I think a hotel is nice but after about the third night I want my own bed. And to have my jeep...	whatif	1	773	Jun 4, 2005 by megan
	my progress with friends (Preview) Six months ago I had two guy friends. Today I have lots of girlfriends on and off line. I am proud of my self with the progress I have made. I am also happy with the help of my new friends from Alanon that I can talk to an express my life with.	nycbt	3	874	Jun 4, 2005 by TLC2
	Its working!!!! (Preview) Hi All, I am noticing so much change in myself, I have been trying to control my mouth and keep my mind on myself. My a is still active and still does things that make me want to strangle him but I have managed to maintain this calm, just don't react attitude for 95% of the week....	holly123	5	907	Jun 4, 2005 by TLC2
	2nd update (Preview) Sending love to ya's. I saw a REAL doctor today. My doc is gone for 3 weeks. Her nurse was so nice. the doc came in and she was so nice too! Made me feel right at ease. My blood pressure was not high like it is when I see my doc. My doc is a young man and his nurse is a bit of a crabby old lady... Anyway...	debilyn	5	1145	Jun 4, 2005 by TLC2
	Just getting by (Preview) Hi...it's been a long week, but I finally feel like I'm finding a few moments to take care of myself. I've been enjoying my granddaughter, but have called and enrolled her in daycare duing the day, as all the family are busy elsewhere. (Don't they realize what a gift this time is with her vi...	Belongtome	1	961	Jun 4, 2005 by TLC2
	I have noticed change already/ update (Preview) So you all know that the "talk" went very well. Lastnight I fully expected hubby to go out and get bommed as a result of the talk. I was told by a friend that it is very common that the A's do that while trying to digest everything and then and only then would he come to me. Well I also kno...	jj	1	1066	Jun 4, 2005 by TLC2
	Quote for Today (Preview) "No man is a failure who is enjoying life"---William Feather (Enjoying yourself and life, is one of the best forms of detachment there is!)	wallsal55	0	679	Jun 4, 2005 by wallsal55
	The Most Powerful Thing..... (Preview) Said to me, wallsal55, in an open meeting 3 weeks ago by an AA member: "The most powerful thing is a Wife in Alanon. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here." "If I wasn't happy anymore, then there was nobody to blame for my unhappiness except myself." Have a Gr...	wallsal55	0	697	Jun 4, 2005 by wallsal55
	1st time ever admitting a problem (Preview) Yesterday was another binge day for A (husband) this one over 9 hours. I've been posting about this for a while. That binging once a week like clock work ever since a good friend got killed in an auto accident about 2 months ago. I have been trying to stop the screaming and crying when he comes home. I did re...	whatif	2	1161	Jun 4, 2005 by wallsal55
	THIS WORK DAY (Preview) I am going to try and not call my husband. It is going to be a very hard thing to do. I love to call him and see how he is doing. I love to hear his voice. It is going to be min to min for me. I am hoping by my help of my higher power. I don't why it is so diffuclt for me to stop calling him. When he goes to his meeting I am...	nycbt	4	988	Jun 4, 2005 by txmom
	that 4 letter F word..... (Preview) FEAR Hey now I gotcha to read my post with that topic didn't I!!!!!!! Just what kinda ladie did you think i was anyway? Know what I think about fear? I think it's a great big coward. Sure some fear has a bit of a big head and shows itself openly, but for the most part, I have found that...	mastiff	2	887	Jun 4, 2005 by txmom
	just sharing some ways of dealing with the burdens of life: (Preview) - Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. - Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. - Always read stuff that will ma...	elizabeth	1	1098	Jun 4, 2005 by lin0606
	Feel like I am sinking (Preview) I feel like I am in the middle of a great big ocean and am sinking. I feel a deep depression coming on and am not sure what to do. I just feel so lost. I am looking for all of the wrong things in all of the wrong places. I feel irritable and moody. Doctor upped my Prozac. ...	Powerless	5	951	Jun 4, 2005 by Jolert
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