Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Auntielala · Auntielala

First time to this board. I think, as a mom, I'm just trying to stick to the "rules" as given to me at Hazelden. I learned a lot in the classes that I attended as my 23 year old son was an inpatient there for 30 days. I was so optimistic and he seemed so much better. Although during his stay, he never relented fr...

joker · joker

I was in such a good place yesterday. I am not back in the dumps again. I cried this morning, as I was so hurt. It felt good to cry. I went to a face to face meeting last night and I came home to the alcoholic drinking beer again. I got angry with him as I came home to see him drinking. I should have known better the...

joker · joker

My crazy emotions of anger feels like it has gone down, finally. I was feeling so angry and now I feel a sense of giving up. I can not change the alcoholic. I do not discuss drinking anymore with him. I just let him be. Drink, see if I care. I just have given up completely. He is drinking daily now and I say what...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Hope for Today shares about letting go and letting God. The writer discusses a first trip after becoming handicapped. She was anxious to be travelling alone and even a bit more so because her travel was to another country with different customs, etc. She used her tools to get read...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Good Morning Everyone, If you would like an Alanon meeting, please join us. Our topics this morning are Choices, Courage to Change ane the slogan Listen and Learn. Thanks TT

serenity47 · serenity47

Difficult day today filled with much drama and extreme worry. As I had anticipated, AD relationship has gone from bad to worse. I did involve myself to the extent of calling the police this afternoon following a text from her that he had thrown her keys to her vehicle in the bushes when she attempted t...

Junenine · Junenine

i'm still processing everything i went through with my ex, who is recently in recovery. wondering if anyone can shed light on this addiction question. when we were together he went through 2 outpatient detox programs and 2 inpatient detox/rehabs. he stopped drinking, at least for some time. but the...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! I am off my normal routine today, and so I'm using yesterday's posting from today's hope online for today's topic. That seemed like a great fit because the share is about accepting change. The author shares that there have been times they are terrified of change, and that fear prev...

CarlyH · CarlyH

Most days this is how I wake up. As the day goes on I do get better as I will speak to myself and do things to take my mind off my AH. todsy Is not a good day Ive woke up shoutwe at my kids and now I feel terrible. I feel hurt and rejected today and used. AH keeps sending me messages each day - sMall ones. their s...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I had a breakup for the books with A ex bf. I moved on to date someone who is a non drinker. We have a wonderful time together.. it has been 2 years since I saw my ex. I cut all contact with him. He trailed off on trying to contact me this Jan. If you had asked me then what was going to happen to him, I would have sa...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for November 14, states the simple fact that we find that God is more conscious to us when we are in the depths of despair. The reading suggests that this is when we are able to say" please God help.".It then goes on to remind us that when we do receive. help we should turn to God to ack...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 Has been posted to the Step Board. Here is the link : http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64115420/alan...

Heaven76 · Heaven76

Ive not felt this insecure in years.... my AH has been sober for almost a month and he is doing great. Going to outpatient classes and AA meetings. He is making new friends that understand his struggle. I guess you can say Im jealous.... I want to Be his person but he has all these new people (men and w...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey all!! Just checking in to say "hey" and to let you all know that , no, I wasn't kidnapped, I had a back spasm and have been doing research on what I can do to PREVENT or at least, Lessen these horrible episodes...This year I have had THREE...usually I get one, maybe 2 per year but this year has been awful....

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH was sober for many, many years. I told him I was going to divorce him and he stopped out of fear. Then the disease was back. He attends AA meetings but relapse is common. I've been told relapse is part of recovery. Recovery seems far off. I used to ask if he was drinking and he would always lie. No...

Aerin · Aerin

I do know its disease and I guess I should know by now that they are sick. But I still atruggle with how can they give up someone they love (wife, gf, kids, parents) just for a drink? Even during early recovery it seems they would rather lose it all than have the most supportive people around them. Is it sham...

Lyne · Lyne

First Things First: The writer speaks of getting caught up in day-to-day trivial matters and therefore he/she forgets to have time for the really important things. For him, a helpful slogan is First Things First, to get priorities in order. He says that his serenity if his first priority, and tha...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about serenity; how doe we achieve it? Why did it seem elusive when we were new to the program? Can we be in control of our serenity? Something that resonated with me from this page was how the writer described her experience as a weathervane- her movement (sere...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi MIP family - So, Im still living with my STBXAH. Hes staying at our house during the holidays and moving out in the New Year. He has gone entirely underground with his drinking. This is a guy who doesnt pick up after himself for 20 years, and now I havent seen an empty beer can for months and theres not...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the 3rd step in addition to the the definition of insanity. I love this explanation of insanity as it described my reaction so well. It suggests that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity and offers the 3rd Step as a succe...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I have been sitting lately with lots of guilt, lots of resentment, and lots of anger. Not sure why, as I thought I had let all that go. So after reading so many posts yesterday, I had dinner with my sponsor to talk these feelings out. I won't share it all here, but it was such a good meeting for me! I went to sig...

Paisley74 · Paisley74

i havent been here in almost 2 years. I was living in blissful denial that my AH was doing well. Heck I even celebrated his 2year mark with telling him how proud I was of him...Deep down I knew he was drinking, I had hoped he would honor his promise of being honest with me if he drank. Our deal was as long as he w...

Carla61 · Carla61

My husband was in rehab for a month. Stayed sober for about 3 months. I am in retail and need to work weekends. When I come home from work I can tell that he has been drinking. I havent said anything to him about it yet. I love him dearly and he is a wonderful person when sober. Need some advice as to how to handl...

a4l · a4l

Bit out of sorts so as per the subject line, I must remind myself of what matters. Today I am grateful for my true friends. I am grateful for the yard I'm sitting in with the tree and the grass and the birds singing with the blue sky. I am grateful for my able body. I am grateful for my sponsor. I am g...

Aline · Aline

Hi :) I've been through some pretty serious inner turmoil this week, but yesterday brought something very important to the forefront of my mind, something I'd been hiding from since I was 10 or 11. I'm very grateful that my recent pain and worry has brought me to this, and I think this might be the first t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses our concept and slogan of "One Day at a Time". We are reminded in recovery that we can only deal with the here and now. When we can stay here and now, we are more realistic about what we can do to improve our situation. Being and staying present helps to get rid of the constant u...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I have some serious stressors, and it is important for me to focus on my alanon tools instead: How important is it, Keep it simple, Let go and let God, etc. I have a choice before me to succumb to the pain and worry, or be aware of what blessings I do have, and what I can accomplish for me. Sometimes I...

Aline · Aline

Good evening (or morning), MIP :) I just realized clearly what I've been kind of suspecting for a while now. A part of my interactions/relationships with any people is an almost precise copy of the relationship dynamic I saw between my parents. Sometimes I'm Mum (well-meaning yet bossy, "managing"...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Im working on my enabling behaviors and acceptance that Im powerless over it all but that Im not helpless and Im sure not going to sit around in denial. After adjustments to my boundaries I made progress and it feels like another level of growth and maturity. Being the watcher of my alcoholics conseque...

Thistime · Thistime

My partner/best friend (we don't live together) is due to come out of hospital tomorrow after being in for 2 weeks. He was told if he drinks again, he will not make it to Christmas. He is saying he "just wont drink". I keep asking him what he is going to put in place to make sure he doesn't drink again - his...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm going to dismiss most of this to hormones because that's what it seems to be based upon the calendar however that doesn't change my frustration at the moment. My daughter and I had an outstanding visit that was LONG overdue. A month is to long for her not to be home and I do think some of it is that she c...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about how we use manipulation as a ways of coping to the affects of the disease of alcoholism. Alcoholism can create such a threatening environment that manipulation seems necessary. As we progress through recovery, we are learning to do more than just survive! We also lea...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Just for today, I HATE my AH! I am currently seething with anger, feeling out of control and just pissed off. I thought I had a handle on blaming my qualifier for what I have to go through, but I guess I don't. I've just spent 20 minutes bawling my eyes out because I am so angry! At this moment, I can't just sit...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading is about the act of service, or an act of kindness. The author shares that doing something nice for someone else without them knowing about it, and without expecting to get anything back in return is a strategy they used to build their own spiritual well-being. Eng...

runi · runi

hi all, its been a while. granddaughter 17, coming home from rehab, (2 months), in about a week. her parents and us live in one house. she seems to be doing well. since we all live together i want to ask 'being her village/support, now that she is coming home, what/how do we help her to be successful'...

andromeda · andromeda

My partner can be quite sarcastic and, oftentimes, our humor doesn't really match up. I don't care for sarcasm but I understand it because my XAH was so skilled at using it and I became pretty good at it, myself. Hey, he taught by example and I caught on, I guess. But, I truly try to NOT be hurtful and to g...

sdsherry · sdsherry

How to I change the writing to single space. thanks sherry

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading focuses on the suggested closing we have which includes-...though you may not like all of us, youll love us in a very special way- the same way we already love you. The writer remembers not believing the words in that statement because he/she did not feel that way...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for November 7 speaks about the 11th step which is:"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God. Praying only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out."The reading points out that this step assures us that we can have conscious contact wi...

atheos · atheos

There's a recent encounter I've been turning over and over in my head... I accidentally showed up to a men-only meeting (I'm female). I ran into a newcomer (also female) outside, so I told her it was a men-only meeting but that we could have our own little meeting separately. I tried to briefly go into th...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been getting a very clear message in my life that I need to take a look at the guilt I carry around. Things lately have been popping out to me around the topic of guilt. Over and over I keep noticing things related to guilt. Messages in the readings, feelings of guilt I am having over things that I a...

atheos · atheos

I am doing a lot of step one work with my sponsor right now, trying to figure out what I am and am not powerless over - the "wisdom to know the difference" part of the serenity prayer. Now that I no longer live with my qualifiers, I feel like my biggest problem is something I mentioned in another post recentl...

courage101 · courage101

Beginning 11/7/17 I will be traveling for the next two weeks and may not have internet access to chair meetings. Anyone who would like to step up and chair is welcome to do so. The "Opening" & "Closing" files are found at http://www.12stepforums.net/mirc scroll down a ways to find the files. Aft...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Tomorrow will mark a week since I asked my AH not to come home for awhile. My mind has been all over the place. Disbelief that my life has actually come to this, to anger. Though embarrasment even came into to the picture, this one surprised me the most. As this is something at one time would have truly emba...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everybody. So I attended my ex's funeral today. I am just devastated. A whirlwind of emotions. The worst thing is the thought of never seeing him again. I hadn't contacted him for 3 months except to send a card to say it was over when he asked me for clarification, after he had finished it himself, thre...

Lyne · Lyne

Thinking about Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. But the writer questioned what are the exact nature of his/her wrongs? She realized that many "wrongs" had to do with her hurting herself such as wondering if she was good enough, was sh...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64090862/alanon-step-8-11-5-17/

lookingup · lookingup

today's one day at a time(odat) talks about if we really know that we're happy or not happ,that we are to look down deep within ourselves for the answers to our self, we think we are dissatisfied with what we have,with the way we live,and the way other ppl act toward us, our daily ,a alanoner,suggested th...

atheos · atheos

I have been living on my own for a few years now, and if anything I'd say I'm doing *worse* than when I lived with my qualifier. Everything seems so overwhelming and I feel constantly stressed and exhausted. I haven't taken my trash out, my sink is full of dirty dishes, I am constantly behind on schoolwor...

Krystyna265 · Krystyna265

I am new here - and new to Alanon. I've been resistant and resentful about going to meetings, but it's time. I am ACOA, a recovering alcoholic (33 years sober), married to a recovering alcoholic (4 years sober) and mother to an adult alcoholic son who lives with his wife on the second floor of our home. T...

Rxwoman · Rxwoman

I just married ( third time) another alcoholic ( Ugh, yes I know). Our first anniversary is the 19th. I thought I knew what I had signed up for. Basically watching him drink himself to death...whether I'm with him or not. I know I am powerless to stop him or change him. He lost his license in 2010. Got i...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hi MIP family! After my AH's latest hospital stay, he went and lived with his mother and sister. After 5 days in the hospital, he was still very weak and they felt he could not adequately care for himself - AND, they wanted to make sure he was not going to drink so that he could enter a facility at the end of th...

joker · joker

Read Read this from another member and I need to read this over and over again. I need to put it in my head, and remember it. God help me! Quote:What Addicts DoMy name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alo...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

HI MIP family! Today, my estranged AH is supposed to enter a rehab facility. I have no idea for how long - we've been separated since Aug 28. Finally, my legal separation papers are ready for me to sign. Once I sign them, they will be filed with the court, and I will need to serve my AH. In CA, you must have som...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how we grow in recovery and learn the value of having a sponsor. So many of us arrive starving to be heard, and we find in meetings that we can talk freely about that which has been pent up inside. We share and others nod with understanding. They share and mention how they rel...

listerine042571 · listerine042571

I have gone through this same thing with my ex for the past five years. He just got out of rehab for 6 months and relapsed and re-entered rehab in June for another 3 months. I told him I didn't think he was ready considering he has been dealing with addiction since the age of 14 and he is now 46. I wanted to use a...

joker · joker

I feel great today, despite the complete insanity of the other day. I have been reading and reading al-anon literature hourly, and I feel great today. I even laughed. I am so grateful; today. The alcoholic is sleeping, what is new. Not my problem, not my issue. I read something today in al-anon things i...

Linsey24 · Linsey24

Hi there, I will keep this brief. I am 36 years old and happily married to my childhood sweetheart and two wonderful kids aged 7 and 5. Here is the s** bit, my Mum is a chronic alcoholic and has been since I was around 10/12. She was once a functional alcoholic, however her health has been effected so badly...

joker · joker

I am learning ever so slowly, NO, No, NO. I had a good laugh today, as the alcoholic was suddenly so nice, saying Good morning, meanwhile, yesterday he was a racing mess, screaming devils get out of this house, and going nuts, alone, upstairs. I was downstairs, reading al-anon. Just like that, a change...

joker · joker

I am trying to see the positives-thank you god, the alcoholic is getting crazier, and more insane when drinking. It just means he is nearing the end, and I can move more into recovery! I say, let him go nuts, but I need to remove myself and give him the space to go completely insane. Have at er. hope it makes...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alcoholic 20 something son... (Preview) First time to this board. I think, as a mom, I'm just trying to stick to the "rules" as given to me at Hazelden. I learned a lot in the classes that I attended as my 23 year old son was an inpatient there for 30 days. I was so optimistic and he seemed so much better. Although during his stay, he never relented fr...	Auntielala	14	2805	Nov 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Down again (Preview) I was in such a good place yesterday. I am not back in the dumps again. I cried this morning, as I was so hurt. It felt good to cry. I went to a face to face meeting last night and I came home to the alcoholic drinking beer again. I got angry with him as I came home to see him drinking. I should have known better the...	joker	1	2257	Nov 17, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Feeling acceptance (Preview) My crazy emotions of anger feels like it has gone down, finally. I was feeling so angry and now I feel a sense of giving up. I can not change the alcoholic. I do not discuss drinking anymore with him. I just let him be. Drink, see if I care. I just have given up completely. He is drinking daily now and I say what...	joker	2	417	Nov 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today 11/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading in Hope for Today shares about letting go and letting God. The writer discusses a first trip after becoming handicapped. She was anxious to be travelling alone and even a bit more so because her travel was to another country with different customs, etc. She used her tools to get read...	Iamhere	2	2212	Nov 16, 2017 by Faintly Falling
	Thursday Morning MIP ALanon Meeting About to Start (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, If you would like an Alanon meeting, please join us. Our topics this morning are Choices, Courage to Change ane the slogan Listen and Learn. Thanks TT	tiredtonite	1	2853	Nov 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Breathe/Stay on my side of the street (Preview) Difficult day today filled with much drama and extreme worry. As I had anticipated, AD relationship has gone from bad to worse. I did involve myself to the extent of calling the police this afternoon following a text from her that he had thrown her keys to her vehicle in the bushes when she attempted t...	serenity47	13	539	Nov 16, 2017 by Maresie
	can you help me understand? (double winners?) (Preview) i'm still processing everything i went through with my ex, who is recently in recovery. wondering if anyone can shed light on this addiction question. when we were together he went through 2 outpatient detox programs and 2 inpatient detox/rehabs. he stopped drinking, at least for some time. but the...	Junenine	12	525	Nov 15, 2017 by Junenine
	Today's Hope November 15 (Preview) Good morning MIP! I am off my normal routine today, and so I'm using yesterday's posting from today's hope online for today's topic. That seemed like a great fit because the share is about accepting change. The author shares that there have been times they are terrified of change, and that fear prev...	Skorpi	3	424	Nov 15, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Nervous about first al anon - angry and feeling sick (Preview) Most days this is how I wake up. As the day goes on I do get better as I will speak to myself and do things to take my mind off my AH. todsy Is not a good day Ive woke up shoutwe at my kids and now I feel terrible. I feel hurt and rejected today and used. AH keeps sending me messages each day - sMall ones. their s...	CarlyH	3	441	Nov 15, 2017 by Freetime
	Looking back on breakup with A BF- he seems great (Preview) I had a breakup for the books with A ex bf. I moved on to date someone who is a non drinker. We have a wonderful time together.. it has been 2 years since I saw my ex. I cut all contact with him. He trailed off on trying to contact me this Jan. If you had asked me then what was going to happen to him, I would have sa...	giraffe13	11	682	Nov 14, 2017 by Junenine
	ODAT reading 11-14-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for November 14, states the simple fact that we find that God is more conscious to us when we are in the depths of despair. The reading suggests that this is when we are able to say" please God help.".It then goes on to remind us that when we do receive. help we should turn to God to ack...	hotrod	6	482	Nov 14, 2017 by Aline
	ALANON STEP 9 POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 Has been posted to the Step Board. Here is the link : http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64115420/alan...	hotrod	1	368	Nov 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need help (Preview) Ive not felt this insecure in years.... my AH has been sober for almost a month and he is doing great. Going to outpatient classes and AA meetings. He is making new friends that understand his struggle. I guess you can say Im jealous.... I want to Be his person but he has all these new people (men and w...	Heaven76	10	643	Nov 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Just checking in!!!!! (Preview) Hey all!! Just checking in to say "hey" and to let you all know that , no, I wasn't kidnapped, I had a back spasm and have been doing research on what I can do to PREVENT or at least, Lessen these horrible episodes...This year I have had THREE...usually I get one, maybe 2 per year but this year has been awful....	mamalioness	3	383	Nov 13, 2017 by Maresie
	Should AH have consequences? (Preview) My AH was sober for many, many years. I told him I was going to divorce him and he stopped out of fear. Then the disease was back. He attends AA meetings but relapse is common. I've been told relapse is part of recovery. Recovery seems far off. I used to ask if he was drinking and he would always lie. No...	wifeofalcoholic	8	813	Nov 13, 2017 by Maresie
	How Can A Alcoholic really give up people he loves? (Preview) I do know its disease and I guess I should know by now that they are sick. But I still atruggle with how can they give up someone they love (wife, gf, kids, parents) just for a drink? Even during early recovery it seems they would rather lose it all than have the most supportive people around them. Is it sham...	Aerin	15	697	Nov 13, 2017 by Junenine
	C2C, 11/13 (Preview) First Things First: The writer speaks of getting caught up in day-to-day trivial matters and therefore he/she forgets to have time for the really important things. For him, a helpful slogan is First Things First, to get priorities in order. He says that his serenity if his first priority, and tha...	Lyne	3	417	Nov 13, 2017 by Skorpi
	Hope for today nov 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about serenity; how doe we achieve it? Why did it seem elusive when we were new to the program? Can we be in control of our serenity? Something that resonated with me from this page was how the writer described her experience as a weathervane- her movement (sere...	yanksfan51	7	515	Nov 12, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Checking in, and checking myself (Preview) Hi MIP family - So, Im still living with my STBXAH. Hes staying at our house during the holidays and moving out in the New Year. He has gone entirely underground with his drinking. This is a guy who doesnt pick up after himself for 20 years, and now I havent seen an empty beer can for months and theres not...	BethBethBeth	6	658	Nov 12, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C 11-11-2017 (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the 3rd step in addition to the the definition of insanity. I love this explanation of insanity as it described my reaction so well. It suggests that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity and offers the 3rd Step as a succe...	hotrod	4	551	Nov 12, 2017 by Aline
	Good visit with my sponsor! (Preview) I have been sitting lately with lots of guilt, lots of resentment, and lots of anger. Not sure why, as I thought I had let all that go. So after reading so many posts yesterday, I had dinner with my sponsor to talk these feelings out. I won't share it all here, but it was such a good meeting for me! I went to sig...	PosiesandPuppies	7	663	Nov 12, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The strength to move forward (Preview) i havent been here in almost 2 years. I was living in blissful denial that my AH was doing well. Heck I even celebrated his 2year mark with telling him how proud I was of him...Deep down I knew he was drinking, I had hoped he would honor his promise of being honest with me if he drank. Our deal was as long as he w...	Paisley74	4	545	Nov 11, 2017 by lookingup
	Not sure how to handle this (Preview) My husband was in rehab for a month. Stayed sober for about 3 months. I am in retail and need to work weekends. When I come home from work I can tell that he has been drinking. I havent said anything to him about it yet. I love him dearly and he is a wonderful person when sober. Need some advice as to how to handl...	Carla61	12	527	Nov 11, 2017 by Maresie
	On gratitude and faith. (Preview) Bit out of sorts so as per the subject line, I must remind myself of what matters. Today I am grateful for my true friends. I am grateful for the yard I'm sitting in with the tree and the grass and the birds singing with the blue sky. I am grateful for my able body. I am grateful for my sponsor. I am g...	a4l	7	559	Nov 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Epiphany (Preview) Hi :) I've been through some pretty serious inner turmoil this week, but yesterday brought something very important to the forefront of my mind, something I'd been hiding from since I was 10 or 11. I'm very grateful that my recent pain and worry has brought me to this, and I think this might be the first t...	Aline	4	437	Nov 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses our concept and slogan of "One Day at a Time". We are reminded in recovery that we can only deal with the here and now. When we can stay here and now, we are more realistic about what we can do to improve our situation. Being and staying present helps to get rid of the constant u...	Iamhere	5	466	Nov 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	How Important Is It? (Preview) Today I have some serious stressors, and it is important for me to focus on my alanon tools instead: How important is it, Keep it simple, Let go and let God, etc. I have a choice before me to succumb to the pain and worry, or be aware of what blessings I do have, and what I can accomplish for me. Sometimes I...	Lyne	3	419	Nov 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mum/Dad prototypes and being a baby (Preview) Good evening (or morning), MIP :) I just realized clearly what I've been kind of suspecting for a while now. A part of my interactions/relationships with any people is an almost precise copy of the relationship dynamic I saw between my parents. Sometimes I'm Mum (well-meaning yet bossy, "managing"...	Aline	3	443	Nov 10, 2017 by Aline
	Natural consequences (Preview) Im working on my enabling behaviors and acceptance that Im powerless over it all but that Im not helpless and Im sure not going to sit around in denial. After adjustments to my boundaries I made progress and it feels like another level of growth and maturity. Being the watcher of my alcoholics conseque...	_bunny_	5	3702	Nov 10, 2017 by Aline
	Can he do it (Preview) My partner/best friend (we don't live together) is due to come out of hospital tomorrow after being in for 2 weeks. He was told if he drinks again, he will not make it to Christmas. He is saying he "just wont drink". I keep asking him what he is going to put in place to make sure he doesn't drink again - his...	Thistime	8	475	Nov 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Stuggling still .. (Preview) I'm going to dismiss most of this to hormones because that's what it seems to be based upon the calendar however that doesn't change my frustration at the moment. My daughter and I had an outstanding visit that was LONG overdue. A month is to long for her not to be home and I do think some of it is that she c...	SerenityRUS	6	1317	Nov 10, 2017 by el-cee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about how we use manipulation as a ways of coping to the affects of the disease of alcoholism. Alcoholism can create such a threatening environment that manipulation seems necessary. As we progress through recovery, we are learning to do more than just survive! We also lea...	Iamhere	3	398	Nov 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Seething with anger (Preview) Just for today, I HATE my AH! I am currently seething with anger, feeling out of control and just pissed off. I thought I had a handle on blaming my qualifier for what I have to go through, but I guess I don't. I've just spent 20 minutes bawling my eyes out because I am so angry! At this moment, I can't just sit...	PosiesandPuppies	16	686	Nov 9, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change November 8 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading is about the act of service, or an act of kindness. The author shares that doing something nice for someone else without them knowing about it, and without expecting to get anything back in return is a strategy they used to build their own spiritual well-being. Eng...	Skorpi	11	444	Nov 9, 2017 by MeTwo2
	advise/suggestion/help, minor coming home from rehab (Preview) hi all, its been a while. granddaughter 17, coming home from rehab, (2 months), in about a week. her parents and us live in one house. she seems to be doing well. since we all live together i want to ask 'being her village/support, now that she is coming home, what/how do we help her to be successful'...	runi	4	402	Nov 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Using program to handle sarcasm (Preview) My partner can be quite sarcastic and, oftentimes, our humor doesn't really match up. I don't care for sarcasm but I understand it because my XAH was so skilled at using it and I became pretty good at it, myself. Hey, he taught by example and I caught on, I guess. But, I truly try to NOT be hurtful and to g...	andromeda	5	593	Nov 8, 2017 by andromeda
	posting question new (Preview) How to I change the writing to single space. thanks sherry	sdsherry	2	364	Nov 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today nov 5 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading focuses on the suggested closing we have which includes-...though you may not like all of us, youll love us in a very special way- the same way we already love you. The writer remembers not believing the words in that statement because he/she did not feel that way...	yanksfan51	4	367	Nov 7, 2017 by Maresie25
	ODAT reading 11-7-2017 (Preview) ODAT reading for November 7 speaks about the 11th step which is:"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God. Praying only for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out."The reading points out that this step assures us that we can have conscious contact wi...	hotrod	4	442	Nov 7, 2017 by Maresie25
	Lessons, lessons, lessons... (Preview) There's a recent encounter I've been turning over and over in my head... I accidentally showed up to a men-only meeting (I'm female). I ran into a newcomer (also female) outside, so I told her it was a men-only meeting but that we could have our own little meeting separately. I tried to briefly go into th...	atheos	4	430	Nov 7, 2017 by Maresie25
	Guilt (Preview) I've been getting a very clear message in my life that I need to take a look at the guilt I carry around. Things lately have been popping out to me around the topic of guilt. Over and over I keep noticing things related to guilt. Messages in the readings, feelings of guilt I am having over things that I a...	KT2015	3	2514	Nov 7, 2017 by KT2015
	How to tell what you are/aren't powerless over? (Preview) I am doing a lot of step one work with my sponsor right now, trying to figure out what I am and am not powerless over - the "wisdom to know the difference" part of the serenity prayer. Now that I no longer live with my qualifiers, I feel like my biggest problem is something I mentioned in another post recentl...	atheos	10	634	Nov 6, 2017 by Maresie
	Need meetings chairs for two weeks in chat room (Preview) Beginning 11/7/17 I will be traveling for the next two weeks and may not have internet access to chair meetings. Anyone who would like to step up and chair is welcome to do so. The "Opening" & "Closing" files are found at http://www.12stepforums.net/mirc scroll down a ways to find the files. Aft...	courage101	0	329	Nov 6, 2017 by courage101
	Just putting my thoughts down........ (Preview) Tomorrow will mark a week since I asked my AH not to come home for awhile. My mind has been all over the place. Disbelief that my life has actually come to this, to anger. Though embarrasment even came into to the picture, this one surprised me the most. As this is something at one time would have truly emba...	Curlyblu	4	436	Nov 6, 2017 by Jerry F
	Funeral today (Preview) Hi everybody. So I attended my ex's funeral today. I am just devastated. A whirlwind of emotions. The worst thing is the thought of never seeing him again. I hadn't contacted him for 3 months except to send a card to say it was over when he asked me for clarification, after he had finished it himself, thre...	Sorcha	12	512	Nov 6, 2017 by tiredtonite
	C2C, 11/6 (Preview) Thinking about Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. But the writer questioned what are the exact nature of his/her wrongs? She realized that many "wrongs" had to do with her hurting herself such as wondering if she was good enough, was sh...	Lyne	3	363	Nov 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	step board (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t64090862/alanon-step-8-11-5-17/	hotrod	0	321	Nov 5, 2017 by hotrod
	Odat 11/04/17 (Preview) today's one day at a time(odat) talks about if we really know that we're happy or not happ,that we are to look down deep within ourselves for the answers to our self, we think we are dissatisfied with what we have,with the way we live,and the way other ppl act toward us, our daily ,a alanoner,suggested th...	lookingup	4	419	Nov 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	I don’t understand why my life is still so unmanageable (Preview) I have been living on my own for a few years now, and if anything I'd say I'm doing worse than when I lived with my qualifier. Everything seems so overwhelming and I feel constantly stressed and exhausted. I haven't taken my trash out, my sink is full of dirty dishes, I am constantly behind on schoolwor...	atheos	5	566	Nov 4, 2017 by Aline
	Feels Like PTSD newbie PTSD (Preview) I am new here - and new to Alanon. I've been resistant and resentful about going to meetings, but it's time. I am ACOA, a recovering alcoholic (33 years sober), married to a recovering alcoholic (4 years sober) and mother to an adult alcoholic son who lives with his wife on the second floor of our home. T...	Krystyna265	17	8997	Nov 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	Drunk driving: HELP! WHAT TO DO? (Preview) I just married ( third time) another alcoholic ( Ugh, yes I know). Our first anniversary is the 19th. I thought I knew what I had signed up for. Basically watching him drink himself to death...whether I'm with him or not. I know I am powerless to stop him or change him. He lost his license in 2010. Got i...	Rxwoman	6	797	Nov 4, 2017 by The Dependent
	Sitting with some feelings today (Preview) Hi MIP family! After my AH's latest hospital stay, he went and lived with his mother and sister. After 5 days in the hospital, he was still very weak and they felt he could not adequately care for himself - AND, they wanted to make sure he was not going to drink so that he could enter a facility at the end of th...	PosiesandPuppies	9	634	Nov 3, 2017 by Maresie
	Needed to read this (Preview) Read Read this from another member and I need to read this over and over again. I need to put it in my head, and remember it. God help me! Quote:What Addicts DoMy name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alo...	joker	1	387	Nov 3, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Needing ESH on this topic (Preview) HI MIP family! Today, my estranged AH is supposed to enter a rehab facility. I have no idea for how long - we've been separated since Aug 28. Finally, my legal separation papers are ready for me to sign. Once I sign them, they will be filed with the court, and I will need to serve my AH. In CA, you must have som...	PosiesandPuppies	8	508	Nov 3, 2017 by WestMan
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how we grow in recovery and learn the value of having a sponsor. So many of us arrive starving to be heard, and we find in meetings that we can talk freely about that which has been pent up inside. We share and others nod with understanding. They share and mention how they rel...	Iamhere	2	461	Nov 3, 2017 by Lyne
	Do Old Habits/Behavious Still Exist With A Newly Recovering Addict (Preview) I have gone through this same thing with my ex for the past five years. He just got out of rehab for 6 months and relapsed and re-entered rehab in June for another 3 months. I told him I didn't think he was ready considering he has been dealing with addiction since the age of 14 and he is now 46. I wanted to use a...	listerine042571	3	449	Nov 3, 2017 by Jerry F
	Feel good (Preview) I feel great today, despite the complete insanity of the other day. I have been reading and reading al-anon literature hourly, and I feel great today. I even laughed. I am so grateful; today. The alcoholic is sleeping, what is new. Not my problem, not my issue. I read something today in al-anon things i...	joker	3	384	Nov 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	New and completely lost...... (Preview) Hi there, I will keep this brief. I am 36 years old and happily married to my childhood sweetheart and two wonderful kids aged 7 and 5. Here is the s** bit, my Mum is a chronic alcoholic and has been since I was around 10/12. She was once a functional alcoholic, however her health has been effected so badly...	Linsey24	5	440	Nov 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Learning to say No (Preview) I am learning ever so slowly, NO, No, NO. I had a good laugh today, as the alcoholic was suddenly so nice, saying Good morning, meanwhile, yesterday he was a racing mess, screaming devils get out of this house, and going nuts, alone, upstairs. I was downstairs, reading al-anon. Just like that, a change...	joker	1	361	Nov 2, 2017 by shrnp
	thankful (Preview) I am trying to see the positives-thank you god, the alcoholic is getting crazier, and more insane when drinking. It just means he is nearing the end, and I can move more into recovery! I say, let him go nuts, but I need to remove myself and give him the space to go completely insane. Have at er. hope it makes...	joker	0	306	Nov 2, 2017 by joker
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.