Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kimmie · kimmie

Have you ever looked at your family and wondered what planet they came from? And how they are possibly related to you. Well I just came from another family get together, we have a lot of those. I have a big family and we all live near eachother, so we get together for every reason known...

Karilynn · Karilynn

To everyone who replied to my first posting: From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! The first weekend we had together went great! He stayed completely sober, and for the first time I wasn't afraid to come home. Piper (the cat) was estatic that Dad was home. Despite the craziness of the weekend at wo...

princess433 · princess433

Confused- My knees start to shake, When your in sight. My mid filles with wonder, My heart with fright/ When will this feeling stop? When did it start? How can I listen to my mind. Without breaking my heat? I'm so confused. What should I do? I can't think of anything, Except you. Should I ignore yuo...

horsemaven · horsemaven

I am new to the online site and I can't figure out--do I need to set up a sigon on for every site? Like if I want to use the 12 step work board, do I need to register there again? Is it that way on all the different sites? Thanks for help and getting me familiar with the way things work.

Powerless · Powerless

I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am doing okay. I have been having a difficult time dealing with my ten year old son who is severly mentally ill. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday along with the baby who just turned two today. I had to be especially careful not to l...

confused · confused

I have been trying very hard to let go of things that are not my responsibililty to handle however today I find myself in quite a hard place. I carry the medical insurance for our family, as my coverage has always been better than that offered at my A's job. Fortuanately I have always been able to main...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 5 The first slogans I heard were "Just for Today" and "One Day at a Time." I thought they applied to other people, not to me. It took Step Three work and faith in my Higher Power to become honest. #####RO...

megan · megan

I am asking for prayers for Isabela. She was in the cardiac intensive care unit earlier in the week. her blood pressure was so high they had to get a special machine to read it, it was off the charts, She could also have had a stroke the doctor said. Her blood pressure was so hi...

mastiff · mastiff

(((((roomies))))) I went to have my biopsy today on my cervix...I was sat down before hand and told the severty of my abnormal pap. I was informed that the level of abnormality is the highest grade... Before i was told that this doesn't mean i have cancer... today i...

jo4 · jo4

hi all.... i am seriously stressed. my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequat...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I did visit the Beaverton farmer's market Saturday and it was as large as I had been told. it is possible to eat like a king for $1 (salmon jerky) with all the varied produce samples around. It's stone fruit season here and the peaches are wonderful, as are the pluots. Pears are goo...

abbyal · abbyal

When ever I begin to doubt that God is not helping me this brings me back to reality. AS CHILDREN BRING THEIR BROKEN TOYS WITH TEARS FOR US TO FIX I BROUGHT MY BROKEN DREAMS TO GOD BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRIEND BUT INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM IN PEACE TO WORK ALONE I HUNG AROUND AND TRIED TO HELP WITH W...

Diva · Diva

Today San Antonio is to receive up to 30,000 refugees from New Orleans. I feel sorry for these people, but I admit I am not looking forward to these new residents' arrival. We have all read about the lawlessness in post-hurricane New Orleans: Looting, raping, murdering, fighting, rioting, hijackin...

ednaxray · ednaxray

to all my friends here at mip. my computer blew up last week, and i lost everything..so if you have previously emailed me, and wouldnt mind can you send me a mail with your addy on it..so i can get you back in my book? if anyone has kept the recipie for that pumpkin "stuff" please send it..its gone t...

Butterfly · Butterfly

Hi Friends, As many of you know from listening to me whine in the chat room, I am at a crossroads in my marriage right now. I have been with my A husband nearly 10 years, married for six years. Our marriage has been one of escalating abuse and violence and, thanks to this program, I had finally go...

melissajill · melissajill

IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER POSTS, YOU KNOW THAT MY A HAS TAKEN OFF ON ONE OF HIS WEEKEND DRUNKS. I SUSPECTED THAT HE WAS STAYING WITH A CO-WORKER WHO IS LETTING HIM DRINK THERE ALL WEEKEND. A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND LOOKED AT THE CALLER ID AND REALIZED THAT HE HAD CALLED ME LAST NIGHT FROM THE...

FoggyMac · FoggyMac

I know we each have to answer the question, "why stay?" for ourselves, but I was just wondering about this topic. We're supposed to detach from the behavior of the alcoholic, but if alcoholic behavior is 95% of what we get from a spouse--what is the point? A future of more of the same...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] As Monday is a US holiday, I may not be online at all that day. The bronchitis is still hangin around and probably will al weekend; must be the early morning chill. I did talk with my mother yesterday, and her meds were indeed mixed up. Trouble is mum is legally blind and some of the pil...

kimmie · kimmie

Wow, this morning I signed on and he had alreay responded. He wrote that he just wanted me to know that he got my email and he wants to sit down and talk about this with me. I did't expect him to even read his mail until Monday. I feel bad that now I can't even make it to church and I dont want...

horsemaven · horsemaven

You know, no matter who much I do for myself, take care of myself and understand the situation, I never seem to beable to shake the sadness I feel for how everything in my life is turning out up to this point. I feel lonely and I feel my hp has let me down. I have lost confidence in h...

crazywoman · crazywoman

we've been married almost 2 years.my A told me last night he does not know what he wants.he wants keep me and laso he wants more pussy at the same time. how can i accept this? he has been sober 4 years. but being in a new country he got new problem which is much worse than alcohol. i love him and he said he love...

sanddie · sanddie

I read this from a daily devotional I have this morning and wanted to share because it applies to everything in our lives, including relationships. "He Purgeth It." Listen: "Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away; and every branch that beareth he purgeth it, that it may br...

RDP2976 · RDP2976

Hi, I need to ask something? Why is it that I want to get my A back for all he has put me through I will try any thing just to hurt him like he hurts me I know its not right to do but I do it any ways. Why I want to stop but everytime he pushes my buttons I just want to get revenge on him and make him feel b...

browneyes · browneyes

Hello all I am in San Jose with my mother. Wednesday, the doctors told my mom that we all needed to get to the hospital cuz my sis was dying. I drove down and now we are just waiting for answers. They don't know how to fix her. She has in infection that won't be treated with antib...

horsemaven · horsemaven

I am an oldbie and a newbie at the same time to Alanon. I havn't been going to meetings for some years now, because I have not lived with an alcoholic for many years. HOwever, not long ago, my adult son returned home (which I was happy about--and still am), but the ...

melissajill · melissajill

I AM REALLY HAVING TROUBLE COPING WITH HOW I AM FEELING TODAY. I HAVE THIS BURNING HOLE IN MY STOMACH. MY A ALWAYS COMES BACK AFTER THE WEEKEND BUT I KEEP TORTURING MYSELF THINKING THAT HE WON'T COME BACK THIS TIME. I KNOW I WILL BE OK EVENTUALLY BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE APART FROM HIM. WE HAVE HAD THESE LONG CON...

kimmie · kimmie

I emailed our pastor about my "A". I have threatened my "A" many times about going to our pastor about this, and I dont think he ever thought I would. I still have mixed feelings about it. I dont know if it was the right thing to do. I need his help but I know that my "A" will be compl...

melissajill · melissajill

I guess I am a little confused on how to get started with all of this. Should I let my A keep coming back home after every time he takes off on me? How should I treat him when he comes home. Should I anounce my disapproval, Should I ignore him, love him, act like everything is fine? It seems like my husba...

Nell · Nell

Hi. I am new here, but I have been married to an alcoholic for 24 years. It has taken me a long time to get here. Part of the delay was caused by the unfortunate experiences I had at the two face-to-face Al Anon meetings I attended many years ago. They were just lots...

Jersey · Jersey

I don't know what to do, I've never done this online thing so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I met my boyfriend at AA three years ago, him with 7 years of sobriety. He was the last person I would have ever thought would drink again. The nature of the beast. On a cruise in 01/05 he started again and has no...

melissajill · melissajill

This is really hard and tearing me apart right now. My A found a job in a warehouse that he really loves. He has always worked in a restaraunt which is a nightmare for an A. I put his resume out after he came back from rehab and he didn't even know that I did. He got the warehouse job and it has been going really w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 2 When I did my Fourth Step, I was amazed to discover that my stealing a ten-cent comb at age seven was fairly inconsequential. I had carried guilt for this minor infraction for many years. I identified with the concept of an overdeve...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi roomies, I have a question for any one with small kids. My kids are 5,3,10mos. My 5,3 year old are always asking where dad is. I always say at school. He is 7mos sober and goes to AA meeting twice a day, some times three. Like before this holiday weekend when w...

kimmie · kimmie

I want to thank all the people who have responded to my last board about becoming independent. It really helped to read those responses, as it usually does. Right now my "A" is having a poker game with his friends in the dining room, and thats fine with me, as long as they all know that if it co...

FoggyMac · FoggyMac

I am 40 today and am so sad I can't stop crying. I have been with this man for 21 years. We never had kids although we tried in our 30s and even underwent fertility treatments, but he didn't stop drinking or using benzodiazapenes (for sleeping) even though his sperm count was low and he said he wante...

marmare · marmare

Ya know, I too do so good and then one thing sets me off. My A worked 4 10's this week to have today off. Why did I even have an expectation that my hot tub would get filled and running, or that corner in the bedroom (his) would get cleaned out, or the ceiling fan that has been sitting in the box sin...

gardengal · gardengal

The image of an avalanche helps me to give the drinking alcoholic in my life the dignity to make his/her own decisions. It is as though his actions are forming a mountain of alcohol-related troubles. A mound of snow cannot indefinately grow taller without tumbling down: neither can the alcoholics mo...

kimmie · kimmie

I hear a lot of you saying that you are completely independent from your "A"'s and I know it would be easier if I were too, but how? I am a house wife and I have one child and another on the way. He makes the money and if he looses his job, we go down with him. I handle the books and I have thoug...

melissajill · melissajill

I live in a small town and there are no alanon meeting near me. I really need help. I don't know what the first step is. I have been with my husband for 11 years. He has been an addict since before I met him, but he was clean for some time when we were married. It has been a constant battle with pain killers, ephe...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Detachment without resentments is so difficult for me. My A was offerred a pending position as a supervisor with a local retail store. The money would have been great. Unfortunately, when they ran a background check his "other than honorable" discharge with the militar...

redtoes · redtoes

The last few years have been to say the least, WILD. My sister who was the epitome of "mom" became addicted to painkillers and alcohol as a result of a surgery. To make a long story short she lost her children (I have custody of one, the other went to live with her father, The baby, my si...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: had a rough couple of days slipping in and out of behavior that is familiar for me, but yet I know will get me nowhere. I have not seen my A in 3 weeks since I kicked him out from 1500 miles away when I knew he was high in our house. We have spoken on several occasions, and this pas...

debilyn · debilyn

I always say I don't know how you guys who live with an A can do it. I wish I could. I chose to get my A his medication. pay for it I mean, and i also got his truck registered and title in his name for him. NO strings. He was going to come out this morn and bring a ton of hay, help me fill the dumpster a... >

sandie123 · sandie123

Im not sure what is going on. Yesterday I had a 3 hour talk with my daugher(17) about my husband, her father (an alcoholic). We talked about alot.. cried a bit and I'm not sure that everything I said was the right thing to say. We talked about his disregard for the law, his mood swings, poor eating habits, a...

jessi · jessi

Despite my desire to not do the same thing and expect different results (insanity), I have managed to do just that. I broke up with my partner about 1.5 years ago after six years of dysfunction, verbal and sometimes physical abuse and disrespect. I didn't leave her for any of those reasons though....

Karilynn · Karilynn

Okay, I'm new at this and I could use some help. I have not lived a long time with an alcholic. To make a long story short, my boyfriend (whom I've known for 20 years) finally left his old life behind, and came to live with me last September. I had suspected that he had a drinking problem, but wasn't sure of it...

browneyes · browneyes

My husband finally crashed into someone in his big-rig. He rearended the guy, not even knowing what happened when I asked him.(Probably fell asleep). When he called me I was trying to get my kids off to school and I had to run outside and get our car's liscence plate number because he worke...

Diva · Diva

My older son is an artist of some renown and lives in the city of New Orleans...or should I say "lived" in the city of New Orleans. He was visiting in Seattle at the time Katrina blew through, so the whole family is thankful for that. Yesterday he found out that his home in the Garden District is still there...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I've been dealing with relative generated stress the last couple days, which isn't helping matters at all. Last night my mother had either been drinking or her meds had been mixed up again. She tried to get me into the guilt/shame trip, which I just don't have any tolerance for anymore...

kimmie · kimmie

Well I was doing very well with the program, not letting my "A" bother me and living my own life. But where is the line where you have to say something? And you cant just ignore them. First of all my husband and I are only 23 yrs old. We have a 2 year old son and a daughter on th...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 1 After attending Al-Anon for a while, I realized that self-care didn't mean as much to me as it seemed to mean to other members. I thought I was doing a decent job of keeping myself clean and healthy. #####ROSIE...yeah, w...

jj · jj

I met Zack at the bus all I wanted to do was give him a big hug!!!! WELL as soon as he saw me he was talking a mile a minute!!! you could see the excitement in his face along with the tired look. So we talked and I asked him if all the tears shed this morning were worth it. He said no that today w...

Tammy · Tammy

I dont know where to begin.. Today, I woke up like any other day. My husband, the A was working he works 24 hours on and 48 off. So yesterday he was on duty and the house was very peaceful.. Today, the kids went to school, I went to work and my husband came home. We talked a few times on the phone no big deal.... >>

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hi all, I've posted quite a bit before about my A husband. He's been in rehab twice since March. Repeated relapses and they get worse and worse. Has not worked since March. Recently went to rehab and started a job(he has always worked steadily before) and went out that n...

kerry5 · kerry5

Take Hold of Every Moment A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stare...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi all: Its been a rough couple of weeks, I am grateful for the tools I learned in Al-Anon to help me but its still tough. My recovering addict boyfriend has been avoiding me the last couple of weeks, he claims to be working 60 plus hours a week, hes not been going to meetings, hes not call...

Maria123 · Maria123

Don't Worry 'bout A Thing by SheDaisy (love this group) Ever been misunderstood, misused, or misled Ever knocked on the sky and had it fall on your head well, don't worry 'bout it, don't worry Ever lost your luggage, your marbles, your house Or found yourself in bed with Uncle Sam or Mickey Mouse Ever...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I'm recovering from bronchtis so am not feeling too hot. It doesn't surprise me that I got it again from all the stress or from local allergens that I haven't been exposed to yet. The job search will have to wait for a couple days until I can get enough fluid and rest to...

jj · jj

my heart is breaking!!! This has nothing to do with my hubby. ... My son he is 5. Today is his 2nd day back at school. Grade 1... Well he cried so hard about not wanting to go to school this morning and it just hurt me soooooo bad! I wonder WHY. He is supposed to love sc...

Annie · Annie

My A has been starting his drinking now about 1:00 p.m. until 2 a.m. just about every day unless he doesn’t feel well and then he moans and groans about how he is near death anyway. (He also has emphysema). (He is retired.) He basically only eats something (and then it is very little)...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Who are these people? (Preview) Have you ever looked at your family and wondered what planet they came from? And how they are possibly related to you. Well I just came from another family get together, we have a lot of those. I have a big family and we all live near eachother, so we get together for every reason known...	kimmie	3	583	Sep 5, 2005 by TLC2
	Thanks from the newbie! (Preview) To everyone who replied to my first posting: From the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! The first weekend we had together went great! He stayed completely sober, and for the first time I wasn't afraid to come home. Piper (the cat) was estatic that Dad was home. Despite the craziness of the weekend at wo...	Karilynn	0	458	Sep 5, 2005 by Karilynn
	Do you like this poem???? (Preview) Confused- My knees start to shake, When your in sight. My mid filles with wonder, My heart with fright/ When will this feeling stop? When did it start? How can I listen to my mind. Without breaking my heat? I'm so confused. What should I do? I can't think of anything, Except you. Should I ignore yuo...	princess433	2	499	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	How do I work this thing (Preview) I am new to the online site and I can't figure out--do I need to set up a sigon on for every site? Like if I want to use the 12 step work board, do I need to register there again? Is it that way on all the different sites? Thanks for help and getting me familiar with the way things work.	horsemaven	1	547	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	Checking In (Preview) I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am doing okay. I have been having a difficult time dealing with my ten year old son who is severly mentally ill. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday along with the baby who just turned two today. I had to be especially careful not to l...	Powerless	1	510	Sep 5, 2005 by nikkilou
	is it my job? (Preview) I have been trying very hard to let go of things that are not my responsibililty to handle however today I find myself in quite a hard place. I carry the medical insurance for our family, as my coverage has always been better than that offered at my A's job. Fortuanately I have always been able to main...	confused	5	532	Sep 5, 2005 by confused
	learning to live ONE day at a time (Preview) Hope for Today - September 5 The first slogans I heard were "Just for Today" and "One Day at a Time." I thought they applied to other people, not to me. It took Step Three work and faith in my Higher Power to become honest. #####RO...	rosie light shines	0	488	Sep 5, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Prayer request for Isabela (Preview) I am asking for prayers for Isabela. She was in the cardiac intensive care unit earlier in the week. her blood pressure was so high they had to get a special machine to read it, it was off the charts, She could also have had a stroke the doctor said. Her blood pressure was so hi...	megan	14	789	Sep 5, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Biopsy didn't go well- prayers needed please (Preview) (((((roomies))))) I went to have my biopsy today on my cervix...I was sat down before hand and told the severty of my abnormal pap. I was informed that the level of abnormality is the highest grade... Before i was told that this doesn't mean i have cancer... today i...	mastiff	27	1051	Sep 5, 2005 by mastiff
	sad (Preview) hi all.... i am seriously stressed. my husband is in the process of losing his job...don't know when. my mom is showing signs of dementia. my job is starting again and i feel like i don't know what i'm doing. only my second year in this specialty and i feel stressed and inadequat...	jo4	3	619	Sep 5, 2005 by nmike
	haxigonian XVII (Preview) [[ room ]] I did visit the Beaverton farmer's market Saturday and it was as large as I had been told. it is possible to eat like a king for $1 (salmon jerky) with all the varied produce samples around. It's stone fruit season here and the peaches are wonderful, as are the pluots. Pears are goo...	haximon	3	584	Sep 5, 2005 by megan
	my favorite prayer (Preview) When ever I begin to doubt that God is not helping me this brings me back to reality. AS CHILDREN BRING THEIR BROKEN TOYS WITH TEARS FOR US TO FIX I BROUGHT MY BROKEN DREAMS TO GOD BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRIEND BUT INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM IN PEACE TO WORK ALONE I HUNG AROUND AND TRIED TO HELP WITH W...	abbyal	3	700	Sep 4, 2005 by tea2
	Katrina "refugees" (Preview) Today San Antonio is to receive up to 30,000 refugees from New Orleans. I feel sorry for these people, but I admit I am not looking forward to these new residents' arrival. We have all read about the lawlessness in post-hurricane New Orleans: Looting, raping, murdering, fighting, rioting, hijackin...	Diva	6	926	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	friends (Preview) to all my friends here at mip. my computer blew up last week, and i lost everything..so if you have previously emailed me, and wouldnt mind can you send me a mail with your addy on it..so i can get you back in my book? if anyone has kept the recipie for that pumpkin "stuff" please send it..its gone t...	ednaxray	5	609	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	Praying for a Sign (Preview) Hi Friends, As many of you know from listening to me whine in the chat room, I am at a crossroads in my marriage right now. I have been with my A husband nearly 10 years, married for six years. Our marriage has been one of escalating abuse and violence and, thanks to this program, I had finally go...	Butterfly	4	572	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	WHAT SHOULD I DO? (Preview) IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER POSTS, YOU KNOW THAT MY A HAS TAKEN OFF ON ONE OF HIS WEEKEND DRUNKS. I SUSPECTED THAT HE WAS STAYING WITH A CO-WORKER WHO IS LETTING HIM DRINK THERE ALL WEEKEND. A LITTLE WHILE AGO, I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND LOOKED AT THE CALLER ID AND REALIZED THAT HE HAD CALLED ME LAST NIGHT FROM THE...	melissajill	7	651	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	Why stay with a practicing alcoholic? (Preview) I know we each have to answer the question, "why stay?" for ourselves, but I was just wondering about this topic. We're supposed to detach from the behavior of the alcoholic, but if alcoholic behavior is 95% of what we get from a spouse--what is the point? A future of more of the same...	FoggyMac	13	1408	Sep 4, 2005 by Flora123
	haxigonian XVI/WACO (Preview) [[ room ]] *As Monday is a US holiday, I may not be online at all that day.* The bronchitis is still hangin around and probably will al weekend; must be the early morning chill. I did talk with my mother yesterday, and her meds were indeed mixed up. Trouble is mum is legally blind and some of the pil...	haximon	4	649	Sep 4, 2005 by afglin
	My pastor responded... (Preview) Wow, this morning I signed on and he had alreay responded. He wrote that he just wanted me to know that he got my email and he wants to sit down and talk about this with me. I did't expect him to even read his mail until Monday. I feel bad that now I can't even make it to church and I dont want...	kimmie	3	525	Sep 4, 2005 by Diva
	Can't get off my pitty pot (Preview) You know, no matter who much I do for myself, take care of myself and understand the situation, I never seem to beable to shake the sadness I feel for how everything in my life is turning out up to this point. I feel lonely and I feel my hp has let me down. I have lost confidence in h...	horsemaven	4	571	Sep 4, 2005 by mom to 2
	i am leaving (Preview) we've been married almost 2 years.my A told me last night he does not know what he wants.he wants keep me and laso he wants more pussy at the same time. how can i accept this? he has been sober 4 years. but being in a new country he got new problem which is much worse than alcohol. i love him and he said he love...	crazywoman	7	739	Sep 4, 2005 by FoggyMac
	The Pruning Process.... (Preview) I read this from a daily devotional I have this morning and wanted to share because it applies to everything in our lives, including relationships. "He Purgeth It." Listen: "Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away; and every branch that beareth he purgeth it, that it may br...	sanddie	0	619	Sep 4, 2005 by sanddie
	Hi I need to ask something (Preview) Hi, I need to ask something? Why is it that I want to get my A back for all he has put me through I will try any thing just to hurt him like he hurts me I know its not right to do but I do it any ways. Why I want to stop but everytime he pushes my buttons I just want to get revenge on him and make him feel b...	RDP2976	4	618	Sep 3, 2005 by Annie
	Hp telling me something? (Preview) Hello all I am in San Jose with my mother. Wednesday, the doctors told my mom that we all needed to get to the hospital cuz my sis was dying. I drove down and now we are just waiting for answers. They don't know how to fix her. She has in infection that won't be treated with antib...	browneyes	5	761	Sep 3, 2005 by lin0606
	It can come back to roost (Preview) I am an oldbie and a newbie at the same time to Alanon. I havn't been going to meetings for some years now, because I have not lived with an alcoholic for many years. HOwever, not long ago, my adult son returned home (which I was happy about--and still am), but the ...	horsemaven	2	687	Sep 3, 2005 by whitie
	NOT COPING WELL (Preview) I AM REALLY HAVING TROUBLE COPING WITH HOW I AM FEELING TODAY. I HAVE THIS BURNING HOLE IN MY STOMACH. MY A ALWAYS COMES BACK AFTER THE WEEKEND BUT I KEEP TORTURING MYSELF THINKING THAT HE WON'T COME BACK THIS TIME. I KNOW I WILL BE OK EVENTUALLY BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE APART FROM HIM. WE HAVE HAD THESE LONG CON...	melissajill	2	553	Sep 3, 2005 by Annie
	I did it... (Preview) I emailed our pastor about my "A". I have threatened my "A" many times about going to our pastor about this, and I dont think he ever thought I would. I still have mixed feelings about it. I dont know if it was the right thing to do. I need his help but I know that my "A" will be compl...	kimmie	4	531	Sep 3, 2005 by rosie light shines
	confused about first step (Preview) I guess I am a little confused on how to get started with all of this. Should I let my A keep coming back home after every time he takes off on me? How should I treat him when he comes home. Should I anounce my disapproval, Should I ignore him, love him, act like everything is fine? It seems like my husba...	melissajill	5	755	Sep 3, 2005 by tea2
	New here (Preview) Hi. I am new here, but I have been married to an alcoholic for 24 years. It has taken me a long time to get here. Part of the delay was caused by the unfortunate experiences I had at the two face-to-face Al Anon meetings I attended many years ago. They were just lots...	Nell	7	559	Sep 3, 2005 by Butterfly
	Newbie, crying for help!!!! (Preview) I don't know what to do, I've never done this online thing so forgive me if this is inappropriate. I met my boyfriend at AA three years ago, him with 7 years of sobriety. He was the last person I would have ever thought would drink again. The nature of the beast. On a cruise in 01/05 he started again and has no...	Jersey	8	749	Sep 3, 2005 by Jersey
	ISSUES WITH JOB (Preview) This is really hard and tearing me apart right now. My A found a job in a warehouse that he really loves. He has always worked in a restaraunt which is a nightmare for an A. I put his resume out after he came back from rehab and he didn't even know that I did. He got the warehouse job and it has been going really w...	melissajill	1	546	Sep 3, 2005 by agatha
	driving myself NUTS tryin to be perfect (Preview) Hope for Today - September 2 When I did my Fourth Step, I was amazed to discover that my stealing a ten-cent comb at age seven was fairly inconsequential. I had carried guilt for this minor infraction for many years. I identified with the concept of an overdeve...	rosie light shines	3	618	Sep 3, 2005 by toto12
	help for my kids (Preview) Hi roomies, I have a question for any one with small kids. My kids are 5,3,10mos. My 5,3 year old are always asking where dad is. I always say at school. He is 7mos sober and goes to AA meeting twice a day, some times three. Like before this holiday weekend when w...	nikkilou	5	529	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	thank you... (Preview) I want to thank all the people who have responded to my last board about becoming independent. It really helped to read those responses, as it usually does. Right now my "A" is having a poker game with his friends in the dining room, and thats fine with me, as long as they all know that if it co...	kimmie	1	511	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I'm 40 today and miserable (long ramble) (Preview) I am 40 today and am so sad I can't stop crying. I have been with this man for 21 years. We never had kids although we tried in our 30s and even underwent fertility treatments, but he didn't stop drinking or using benzodiazapenes (for sleeping) even though his sperm count was low and he said he wante...	FoggyMac	12	765	Sep 3, 2005 by FoggyMac
	Slip too! (Preview) Ya know, I too do so good and then one thing sets me off. My A worked 4 10's this week to have today off. Why did I even have an expectation that my hot tub would get filled and running, or that corner in the bedroom (his) would get cleaned out, or the ceiling fan that has been sitting in the box sin...	marmare	3	447	Sep 3, 2005 by Dolphin123
	AVALANCHE (Preview) The image of an avalanche helps me to give the drinking alcoholic in my life the dignity to make his/her own decisions. It is as though his actions are forming a mountain of alcohol-related troubles. A mound of snow cannot indefinately grow taller without tumbling down: neither can the alcoholics mo...	gardengal	2	587	Sep 3, 2005 by agatha
	becoming independent (Preview) I hear a lot of you saying that you are completely independent from your "A"'s and I know it would be easier if I were too, but how? I am a house wife and I have one child and another on the way. He makes the money and if he looses his job, we go down with him. I handle the books and I have thoug...	kimmie	4	532	Sep 3, 2005 by rosie light shines
	another newbie- help please (Preview) I live in a small town and there are no alanon meeting near me. I really need help. I don't know what the first step is. I have been with my husband for 11 years. He has been an addict since before I met him, but he was clean for some time when we were married. It has been a constant battle with pain killers, ephe...	melissajill	3	619	Sep 2, 2005 by kimmie
	Detaching with out resentment (Preview) Detachment without resentments is so difficult for me. My A was offerred a pending position as a supervisor with a local retail store. The money would have been great. Unfortunately, when they ran a background check his "other than honorable" discharge with the militar...	twinmom2	3	704	Sep 2, 2005 by Annie
	New and in need of help (Preview) The last few years have been to say the least, WILD. My sister who was the epitome of "mom" became addicted to painkillers and alcohol as a result of a surgery. To make a long story short she lost her children (I have custody of one, the other went to live with her father, The baby, my si...	redtoes	6	729	Sep 2, 2005 by redtoes
	slipping (Preview) Hello roomies: had a rough couple of days slipping in and out of behavior that is familiar for me, but yet I know will get me nowhere. I have not seen my A in 3 weeks since I kicked him out from 1500 miles away when I knew he was high in our house. We have spoken on several occasions, and this pas...	Kim	1	567	Sep 2, 2005 by marmare
	just a typical situation (Preview) I always say I don't know how you guys who live with an A can do it. I wish I could. I chose to get my A his medication. pay for it I mean, and i also got his truck registered and title in his name for him. NO strings. He was going to come out this morn and bring a ton of hay, help me fill the dumpster a... >	debilyn	4	653	Sep 2, 2005 by marmare
	Confusion over talk with children (Preview) Im not sure what is going on. Yesterday I had a 3 hour talk with my daugher(17) about my husband, her father (an alcoholic). We talked about alot.. cried a bit and I'm not sure that everything I said was the right thing to say. We talked about his disregard for the law, his mood swings, poor eating habits, a...	sandie123	3	694	Sep 2, 2005 by Dolphin123
	same action/same results (Preview) Despite my desire to not do the same thing and expect different results (insanity), I have managed to do just that. I broke up with my partner about 1.5 years ago after six years of dysfunction, verbal and sometimes physical abuse and disrespect. I didn't leave her for any of those reasons though....	jessi	4	709	Sep 2, 2005 by marmare
	Brand new to this. (Preview) Okay, I'm new at this and I could use some help. I have not lived a long time with an alcholic. To make a long story short, my boyfriend (whom I've known for 20 years) finally left his old life behind, and came to live with me last September. I had suspected that he had a drinking problem, but wasn't sure of it...	Karilynn	6	525	Sep 2, 2005 by debilyn
	The worst finally happened (Preview) My husband finally crashed into someone in his big-rig. He rearended the guy, not even knowing what happened when I asked him.(Probably fell asleep). When he called me I was trying to get my kids off to school and I had to run outside and get our car's liscence plate number because he worke...	browneyes	7	622	Sep 1, 2005 by FoggyMac
	My heart breaks for my son and all the other victims. (Preview) My older son is an artist of some renown and lives in the city of New Orleans...or should I say "lived" in the city of New Orleans. He was visiting in Seattle at the time Katrina blew through, so the whole family is thankful for that. Yesterday he found out that his home in the Garden District is still there...	Diva	6	664	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	haxigonian XV (Preview) [[ room ]] I've been dealing with relative generated stress the last couple days, which isn't helping matters at all. Last night my mother had either been drinking or her meds had been mixed up again. She tried to get me into the guilt/shame trip, which I just don't have any tolerance for anymore...	haximon	3	523	Sep 1, 2005 by shimo
	I'm lost, need advice (Preview) Well I was doing very well with the program, not letting my "A" bother me and living my own life. But where is the line where you have to say something? And you cant just ignore them. First of all my husband and I are only 23 yrs old. We have a 2 year old son and a daughter on th...	kimmie	7	603	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	taking care of me BEYOND bare essentials (Preview) Hope for Today - September 1 After attending Al-Anon for a while, I realized that self-care didn't mean as much to me as it seemed to mean to other members. I thought I was doing a decent job of keeping myself clean and healthy. #####ROSIE...yeah, w...	rosie light shines	3	671	Sep 1, 2005 by nmike
	Son came home happy (Preview) I met Zack at the bus all I wanted to do was give him a big hug!!!! WELL as soon as he saw me he was talking a mile a minute!!! you could see the excitement in his face along with the tired look. So we talked and I asked him if all the tears shed this morning were worth it. He said no that today w...	jj	2	506	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	MY LIFE IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL (Preview) I dont know where to begin.. Today, I woke up like any other day. My husband, the A was working he works 24 hours on and 48 off. So yesterday he was on duty and the house was very peaceful.. Today, the kids went to school, I went to work and my husband came home. We talked a few times on the phone no big deal.... >>	Tammy	6	816	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I'd like your thoughts on this (Preview) Hi all, I've posted quite a bit before about my A husband. He's been in rehab twice since March. Repeated relapses and they get worse and worse. Has not worked since March. Recently went to rehab and started a job(he has always worked steadily before) and went out that n...	mom to 2	6	560	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Take Hold of Every Moment (Preview) Take Hold of Every Moment A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: "This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stare...	kerry5	3	465	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Hurt (Preview) Hi all: Its been a rough couple of weeks, I am grateful for the tools I learned in Al-Anon to help me but its still tough. My recovering addict boyfriend has been avoiding me the last couple of weeks, he claims to be working 60 plus hours a week, hes not been going to meetings, hes not call...	beachbaby	2	472	Sep 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Another Song to our repertoire (Preview) Don't Worry 'bout A Thing by SheDaisy (love this group) Ever been misunderstood, misused, or misled Ever knocked on the sky and had it fall on your head well, don't worry 'bout it, don't worry Ever lost your luggage, your marbles, your house Or found yourself in bed with Uncle Sam or Mickey Mouse Ever...	Maria123	4	577	Sep 1, 2005 by Peggy7
	haxigonian XIV (Preview) [[ room ]] I'm recovering from bronchtis so am not feeling too hot. It doesn't surprise me that I got it again from all the stress or from local allergens that I haven't been exposed to yet. The job search will have to wait for a couple days until I can get enough fluid and rest to...	haximon	4	561	Sep 1, 2005 by Peggy7
	my breaking heart (Preview) my heart is breaking!!! This has nothing to do with my hubby. ... My son he is 5. Today is his 2nd day back at school. Grade 1... Well he cried so hard about not wanting to go to school this morning and it just hurt me soooooo bad! I wonder WHY. He is supposed to love sc...	jj	11	554	Sep 1, 2005 by jj
	Input, please (Preview) My A has been starting his drinking now about 1:00 p.m. until 2 a.m. just about every day unless he doesn’t feel well and then he moans and groans about how he is near death anyway. (He also has emphysema). (He is retired.) He basically only eats something (and then it is very little)...	Annie	9	629	Sep 1, 2005 by Annie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.