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trying to keep the focus
(Preview)
Today was Ok. Went to therapy again.....seems that the days that I don't want to go, I force myself and feel better for it afterward. Therapy is for me...I have to keep telling myself that. My A had said that he wanted to get together for dinner tonight which didn't pan out b/c he was working and then outpa...
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Kim
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2
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399
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I just want everything to be normal
(Preview)
It has been a couple of weeks since I posted. We had the wonderful hurricane Rita come through and everything was done for a week.
I am finding it harder and harder to keep everything in perspective! I am so lonely and lost right now--completely overwhelmed!
I am new to posting...
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hudsond
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6
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485
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Tied myself to a chair
(Preview)
Hi,
As I have already said in many other posts, my husband is living with his parents, who have always enabled him to the point of treating him with a child. He has been fired form the job he loves. He was fired for drinking, and somehow or another he managed to get his supervisor to put that he was fired fo...
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Jeannie
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7
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484
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Please Help.
(Preview)
My A wife was let go last Friday from her job of 15 years. After devoting herself to a full week of drinking and crying, which is probably understandable, now she is fully committed to drinking a bottle before noon then going through rounds of drinking then sleeping, drinking and sleepin...
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jeeves
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8
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528
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Haxi's Farewell Post
(closed)
(Preview)
[[[[ room ]]]]
It is no longer safe for me to remain in this room, nor do I wish to.
I have been asked by ownership and members to leave immediately, permanently, forthwith and all as of midnight eastern tonight. At least they had the decency to let me say goodbye...
**From John (aka OP_Pr...
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haximon
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9
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1049
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A healthy reminder
(Preview)
Hello roomies,
I'm starting to come back from the dead. The strep is pretty much gone, and the eye is not so pink. Thanks for all your concerns. How nice. 
I was making some doctor's appointments this morning when it got me thinking. This is breast cancer awareness month. So for all...
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Karilynn
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2
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444
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Not posting much lately
(Preview)
I appologise for not posting much lately. I don't know why but I really don't have much to say. The last time I really posted about my recovery I was in the state of limbo I guess not really feeling anything good or bad about myself and towards my A. At that point I figured it was just fin...
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jj
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3
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557
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what a diference 20 months can make!!!
(Preview)
Hope for Today - October 5 I did not choose an alcoholic mother and a workaholic father, who were unable to express love. I did not decide to have an older brother who beat me and a younger brother whose love and attention I craved. I did choose to give my younger brother things I wanted myself in order to wi...
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rosie light shines
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0
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364
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changing only what i can & feeling
(Preview)
Some thoughts from earlier meeting on changing what we can and letting go of the rest:
I am focusing on what is mine to change today and had to do some looking at the stuff i have tried unsuccessfully to change as well
i have to come here to maintain my acceptance of those things i cannot chang...
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luv123
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2
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812
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Am I doing the right thing?
(Preview)
Hi Everyone,
The two post "Detachment isn't easy" and "Letting go and hope" sure hits home to me also. My husband has drank for years, I to would do and say things (I still do at times) thinking it would make him stop or see what he was doing to himself and his family. Now it's my daughter.
...
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sandy
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2
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425
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letting go and hope
(Preview)
this morning s topics were about forgiveness and letting go
sharing some thoughts on the meeting:
i feel like i need to let go of what i cannot change to my hp 2day
i wish i could change my older son's addiction it makes me very sad to c him on that path
that is...
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luv123
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2
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505
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DETACHMENT ISNT EASY....
(Preview)
As for the alcoholic, I could not separate from him, leave him, or even leave him alone, Wasnt it my right , my duty my obligation to stay by him, direct him, and guide him (otherwise known as trying to control to him?). Certainly "society not only condoned such efforts, I was sure "they " expected them of...
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gardengal
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6
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1177
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tears rant
(Preview)
[[ room ]]
these tears i cry/of joy and pain/do fill my eye/with clear, salt rain
some want me out/of this room soon/i just hope not/twould be no boon
i wanted only to be loved/now find myself just pushed and shoved
i can't NOT cry/that would be worse/to cry alone is NOT a curse
i don't know...
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haximon
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6
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644
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i cannot force life
(Preview)
Anxiety is that range of distress, which attends willing what cannot be willed. --Leslie H. Farber
There are hundreds of ways in which men try to will things that cannot be willed. We will to sleep; we will to have others like us; we will to have sexual virility. In all these things, the force of our wil...
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rosie light shines
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1
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367
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that thing called faith
(Preview)
The reason why birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. --James M. Barrie
As children, we are taught to act and think with confidence. If we have faith that something wonderful can happen, it will bring us joy. Confidence gives us the will to s...
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rosie light shines
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1
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482
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RE: Oh that lovely gossip
(Preview)
Roomies,
Well this is a response to my previous post "Oh that lovely gossip".
This morning when I got to work my boss was there and neither one of the three I needed to talk to was there. So I went to him, I honestly was afraid that I would chicken out. I told him what happened and what my plan was, he agree...
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Dolphin123
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3
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696
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BIG test and i did NOT self abuse
(Preview)
Hey you all I got a GREAT story
Today I got REALLY tested on how much I **love me/ accept me/ forgive me* listen to THIS!!!!
This am, I go to sam’s club to buy dog food/ beer/ berries for my smoothies, and I see this totally **awesome* dvd on “into the west”...
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rosie light shines
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3
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501
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haxigonian XXXIII
(Preview)
[[ room ]]
Having been thoroughly and formally reprimanded for asking for financial assistance through the board, I humbly apologize to the entire community of the board for having asked for financial help in this manner at all and will not do so again. I am still pursuing...
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haximon
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5
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720
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Humbling words
(Preview)
Thank you for all you have given me...
All you have taken away...
All you are withholding......
And all you have in store for me.
Please help in my recovery today
so I can be present and available
to help someone else.
I know just because I'm powerless...
Doesn't mean there isn't a powe...
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Peggy7
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3
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503
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Oh that lovely gossip
(Preview)
Hello All,
I am a little angry right now, and for once it is not directed at my "A", LOL! Joke-
Anyway,
We had a two week orientation start at work today, and something really lovely, not, came out today.
Let me give ya all a little background.--- I work for a non-profit agency that helps people wh...
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Dolphin123
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5
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589
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Business Meeting Agenda - October 5,2005
(Preview)
GENERAL BUSINESS GROUP CONSCIENCE MEETINGSenoraBob ;
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bob6502
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0
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397
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2 Week Break
(Preview)
Hi all,
I will be gone for a time, probably back after the 20th. I will miss you all and be back ASAP.
Much Love,
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Dolphin123
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0
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419
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Hello
(Preview)
Hi again everyone...
I am hurting so much. I feel like my heart has been torn into pieces.
My mom is back together with her ex. I truley hat her ex. He has put her in the hospital before and is a really bad drunk/druggie. I dont know why she is with him. The last few times that I have talked to her she has bee...
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princess433
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3
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453
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DRIVEN BY ANXIETY AND INTENSE EMOTIONS
(Preview)
I'm an ACOA who really struggles with anxiety (and other intense emotions). The anxiety has often been a kind of a low-level, consistent companion that occassionally flares up. I've worked a lot on my anxiety (therapy, exercise, better self-care) and that has helped TREMENDOUSLY; the anxiety att...
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BlueCloud
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2
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624
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had no clue
(Preview)
My mom has been in and out of the hospital with mystery problems for years. Her doctors have thrown up there hands and declared they just don't know. When she is in the hospitals she has psychotic episodes she gets violent and hallucinates. The last couple of visits the topic of alcohol came up an...
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raggedy coyote
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7
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566
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can't sleep
(Preview)
hello all:
having a bit of trouble keeping the focus on me...I am up...it is 12:20 am and of course I am not thinking of my busy day tomorrow at work, I am speculating about what my A is up to. Yesterday was a bad day....Sundays for some reason are very depressing. I am alone in the house...I spent the nigh...
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Kim
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3
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442
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Quote for Today
(Preview)
Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself. --Samuel Butler, British writer (1835-1902)  
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wallsal55
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0
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361
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I know where he is....
(Preview)
Well, my husband is safe, showed up at his parents on Sunday in the afternoon. That makes me feel better. My mother in-law asked him how long he planned on staying and he said if he couldn't work things out with me, then probably a month. His parents have talked about it and hav...
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marmare
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4
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508
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what a night
(Preview)
Last night was yet another crappy evening, I must say. hubs came home drunk full of such anger once again. The kids and I were so hoping that he would fall asleep early but no cigar. I did however, tell the kids that I didn't think Dad could last too, too long before going to bed. And hubs did get to sleep - pas...
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Old Faithful
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0
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437
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Why Does He even Bother
(Preview)
Hello everyone. For any who read my posting from the other day in reference to a letter I had written my A you will know what I am talking about. Well...yea....I gave him the letter last Friday morning and he called last night. Did he call to discuss anything with me about whats going...
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hadit
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2
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600
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I am home! :) :) :)
(Preview)
Hello friends!
I arrived home last night after being gone a month! My mom and dad seem to be doing the best they can with their health problems. Thanks again for all your prayers. Prayers are what helped me to keep going with all my health problems too. I slept today until 4pm! I a...
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cdb
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7
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499
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I feel wonderful
(Preview)
I think I will be offered the job I interviewed for on Friday. The District Manager called me ysterday and asked me to come in today for the second part of the interview. She has already called all of my references and wants me to take a management aptitude test....
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Powerless
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1
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397
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inner peace test--good workbook
(Preview)
Signs of Inner Peace
A tendency to think an act deliberately, rather than from fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging others
A loss interest of judgin...
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rosie light shines
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1
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454
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I am Thankful
(Preview)
I got this e-mail and wanted to share it with everyone. I hope it helps those who are down to think of some of the smaller things and sheds some extra light on those who are up!
I am Thankful
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUS...
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sandie123
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1
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368
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Am I Doing The Right Thing?
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic. Our marriage is a second marriage;we will be married three years this November. My husband has stopped going to church with me and has been drinking while I am away at church activites. He has also stopped doing anything around the house and seems to be d...
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Meowzmusic
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5
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687
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Apology for any hurt I caused
(Preview)
Hi fellow alanons,
I was in the chatroom the other day when we all started joking around. I was bantering with everyone, and laughing and being silly. One person asked where I lived and I replied TX and FT.W. and we were talking about ice cream and I said I love ice cream , I chase the Blue Be...
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jonibaloni21
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2
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548
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i had a great day just wanted to share
(Preview)
hi friends,
today is my moms birthday which is usally a horrible day for me. my husband was so sweet he took me to the cemetery . i miss her so much she will be gone 3 yrs in november. as you know my husband & i seperated this week. it is really hard i miss him, the nights are the hardest. any...
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chrissy
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6
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445
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Poem from my Journal
(Preview)
I went through my journal today to see how much had changed over the course of the last few months. Well, not much has. I found a poem I had wrote on 7/14 of this year.
I see you in the water,
splashing and going down,
do I help or leave you be,
maybe I won't make it to you,
maybe y...
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ragingchild
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3
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468
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Brain is Too Busy
(Preview)
Okay, first I know I am responsible for me. When I asked my A to leave Saturday, he did, more quietly that I expected. As he started to pack I decided I had to leave, it just was painful. I know I did the right thing for my emotional state. As of yesterday morning his family didn't...
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marmare
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6
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517
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don't know how to get back on track
(Preview)
Hi,
I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll just jump in somewhere...
My husband isn't an alcoholic, but I am the adult child of two. We have been married for about a year and a half, and I have been coming to meetings for two years, which has helped me a lot. But, sometimes I still honestly feel...
|
ki
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3
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455
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Where does the future stand?
(Preview)
Life is complex and my HP is not making it any easier. I don't know if my HP is just testing me or trying to see where I draw the line.
As some of you know I have recently taken in my 3rd foster child. A great 2 year old girl. This makes my house my A, and our 15 year old boy and 17 year old girl The kids are great!...
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sandie123
|
4
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488
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What do I do?
(Preview)
I don't know what to do. My Mum is going away for the weekend leaving my Dad who is an alcholic to cope on his own. Now when my Mum goes away my Dad goes to town and there is usually someone to check on him but this time there isn't. I don't drive so there is no way of me checking on him. He is a danger to himself and I...
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Bumble
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7
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606
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changes
(Preview)
Funny, I worked in the office all day alone, until about 30 minutes ago.....the Intensive Groups come in tonight....my mind has been so busy with the "what if" game, I have done good to busy myself and say the phrase, let go let God. I don't want to interrupt what the HP has planned for my A. I...
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marmare
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2
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414
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Help- I've fallen for an A
(Preview)
I need some help here, as I am in way over my head. The woman I have been dating for months has finally admitted that she has a problem with alcohol. She is now a week sober and going to the meetings... the whole drill. This does explain some of the behaviors I had been seeing in her previously. Patterns for w...
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raincaster
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19
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763
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Life at Potter's Eden
(Preview)
I have been feeling good as far as serenity. My lungs are better, I guess I have asthma.
Besides my horse Chief getting into my feeding barn everytime I turn around things are good.
Gradually my A came back into my life. He has been actually caring about me. It
can be unsettling. I am not used to...
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debilyn
|
3
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554
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Quote for Today
(Preview)
Our greatest happiness in life does not depend on the condition of life which chance has placed us, but is always the result of good conscious, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits. --Thomas Jefferson  
|
wallsal55
|
1
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376
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Part II Full steam Ahead
(Preview)
I am going to let go with love.
I wish someone could have let me know 2 years ago that this should have happened then.
Can't live in the past.
Future is scary.
I feel bad for her. It still hurts me to know what she must be feeling right now.
I AM SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY.......................
...
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tullemars
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4
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475
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NOT READY
(Preview)
I have come to the conculison that I am not ready to take major steps right now with out hurting my self mental. When my husband takes my car and I do get very angry. However if I call the police they will tell me that he has a license and then they wouldn't sovle anything. My husband would be angry and then lif...
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nycbt
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2
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445
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Now what?
(Preview)
Well, I guess I too have had my fill. After he came stumbling in past 3 this morning, we had some words. Not a lot as I soon remembered I was getting sucked in. This morning I got ready to do some errands and asked him what his plans were the weekend, he said why? I said we need to tal...
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marmare
|
5
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455
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Boundaries
(Preview)
I have a problem setting up boundaries. My husband knows that an takes full advantage of it. Like he takes my car and I get angry and then that is it nothing happens after it. So I guess he knows that nothing will happen that is why he keeps doing it. But you know what it is very hard to argue with someone about...
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nycbt
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1
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393
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trying to **stuff me* where i do not fit
(Preview)
Hope for Today - October 3 Have you ever had the opportunity to watchpreschoolers put together a puzzle? If a piece doesn'tfit immediately, they often push and shove to make itfit, making lots of sound effects along the way.This is how I lived most of my life. I never felt like I"fit" in my alcoholic f...
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rosie light shines
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1
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445
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FEAR
(Preview)
Fear controls me. I have a fear of my husband going out and getting drunk and or a dwi. I have a fear when he comes home we will fight. I have a fear of him leaving. I call him all the time in hope that he wouldn't get into any trouble. I know there is nothing I can do but the fear is still there. I have a fear when he w...
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nycbt
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1
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426
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a good NA message on faith
(Preview)
this is taken from "NA" which has some REAL good daily messages......to me addiction is addiction....whether its 80 proof or drugs or relationships or fear/hate/resentment/control....whatever.....so i rea...
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rosie light shines
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0
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541
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Full steam ahead
(Preview)
We have court tomorrow.
She will most likely be removed.
I am doing it for myself and my kids.
I need to have a life.
I will love and be loved.
I will be happy
My kids will not sufferr alcoholism in the house anymore.
I know we are on our way to alot of therapy.
It is hard and pain...
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tullemars
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0
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409
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NO BOTTOM
(Preview)
I have now realize I haven't reach my bottom, that is why I am putting up with this crap. I guess I think he will see the light and get help. I don't know why I put my self through all this stuff. Why I get so upset and physcial and mental drain when he takes my car. I feel my self losing it. I don't know what comes o...
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nycbt
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4
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455
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a sign from god?
(Preview)
during the meeting today my a smoked some weed. when meeting was over (alanon online meeting) my a had a panic attack , he thought he was having a heart attack so i called 911. it is odd because he is only 22 but he did cocaine on friday so i thought it might be a possibility. anyways right before this occured...
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notsonew1111
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3
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430
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want step worksheets
(Preview)
the post that had the worksheet for step two was extremly helpful i thought i was passed that step but when i saw the worksheet it made me realise i wasn't. so i must go back. so please if anyone else has worksheets for other sheets please share. thank you
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notsonew1111
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4
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8547
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Boundries
(Preview)
Letting go: the thing is you can't make a person be what they don't want to be you can't make them do what they don't want to do, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Acceptence: accepting a person as they are, accepting their belifes, values, likes and dislikes. Live and let live....
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fitone
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0
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421
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Listening to my HP
(Preview)
As many of you know I left my husband of 19 year two weeks ago. My children and I moved about 45 min. from our home. My husband and I have talked several times and Friday night we had dinner and a movie.. I got to see the man I love again. Saturday morning he ask me to bring the kids and come home. He has only bee...
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Tammy
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7
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575
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2nd Guessing Myself
(Preview)
Hi Friends,
Funny how one day you feel real strong, able to encourage others, and the next you question yourself?
My husband is out of state hunting, should be back Tues or Wed. When he gets back he is moving into a house in town. I will admit that it's been nice and quiet around here, but...
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Ratchie
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2
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470
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