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C2C, 12/11
(Preview)
Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...
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Lyne
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3
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404
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Will the real me please stand up!
(Preview)
Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...
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DavidG
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8
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742
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I Was Gonna....
(Preview)
I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...
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SoggySlippers
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6
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569
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Detachment examples?
(Preview)
Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...
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jtpickle
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5
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866
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7/11 Happy Dance
(Preview)
I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...
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Jerry F
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5
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552
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Live and Let Live vs. Financial Decisions
(Preview)
How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?
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jtpickle
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3
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491
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Overhall of thinking
(Preview)
Its been a week today, that the alcoholic beat me, held me in the room and faced criminal charges for what he did. I have been having a rough week, shaking like a leaf, from anxiety. Things are so wonderful now, calm, quite, no crazy insane drunk screaming, yelling, hollering, chasing me around the hous...
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joker
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3
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702
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Hope for Today Dec 11
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading centers around the idea of keep coming back. The writer mentioned that when first coming to alanon he/she was whining, complaining and stuck on why me. After some time and program work the answer came back- why not me? As I was reading this I remembered that when I...
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yanksfan51
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2
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400
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12/09/17 ctc
(Preview)
helllo everyone,hope all is well, ctc=courage to change asks us to reflect back unto tradition eleven in which alanons public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion what this tradition saying to me is that my 1st responsibility in alanon is to learn to kee...
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lookingup
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3
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388
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OPEN LETTER FROM THE ALCOHOLIC
(Preview)
Monday, December 28, 2009Open Letter from the Alcoholic The chairperson at a meeting I attended recently, who is also a member of AA, shared on this "Open Letter to the Alcoholic," which I've always thought was very powerful. I hadn't read it for a while, so it was a good reminder to me. The...
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Mimi3
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13
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40649
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The children thing
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I feel really sad that I have no children. I always thought that one day my partner and I would move to a bigger house and start a family.
The house move hasn't happened, have tried to move a couple of times, but each time it fell through he'd spent the deposit money we were trying to save on...
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Lil99
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7
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639
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Three weeks in - some lightbulb moments
(Preview)
I broke up with my ABF 3 weeks ago. Am still feeling sad and intensely guilty about not being able to "save" him. This was my first lightbulb moment - apparently I will never be able to save him! Step one - I am powerless over alcohol. All those years of hiding it, arguing about it, making him promise not to d...
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Takotsubo
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1
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425
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Prayers toward Hawaii...
(Preview)
~*Service Worker*~Status: OnlinePosts: 13342Date: 1m ago Prayers toward Hawaii...Permalink Reply Quote More Edit PostDelete Post When you can as you can. We have recovery family friends; a mother and son from a family history with alcoholism. I knew of them from the near neighborhood...
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Jerry F
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7
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614
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Happy Birthday John F.
(Preview)
I just got a Facebook notification that today was our founder John F.'s birthday. I'm not sure how old he would have been today, but I know he was close to my age (55) when he passed last Spring. When I think of OP_Present (John's nickname on MIP) and the awe that I had of him when I first came on MIP back in 200...
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Overcome
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10
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3455
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/8/17
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about Alateen and Al-Anon. It suggests that Alateen members are often doubtful of adults in recovery. There can be a judgement that Al-Anon adults are sure to have the same sick attitudes as their parents. What the writer learns with time and recovery is t...
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Iamhere
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2
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483
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Recovery can suck as much as drinking!!
(Preview)
At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...
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Curlyblu
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10
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625
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Alcoholic everywhere
(Preview)
I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...
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joker
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2
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540
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/7/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...
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Iamhere
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1
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512
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Lord's Prayer
(Preview)
My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer".
I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...
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malia
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34
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10304
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Ive been to 1 alanon meeting and left feeling i have a problem and caring too much is an addiction?? Head is melted !!
(Preview)
Need help understanding this
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Klopp96
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12
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1423
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Denial and projection - normal?
(Preview)
Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...
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StrugglingMamaBear
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4
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813
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Cheating and Never taking responsibility for what they do
(Preview)
The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...
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CarlyH
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16
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839
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Processing thoughts of what happened
(Preview)
Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...
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joker
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3
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531
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Today's Hope December 6, 2017
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...
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Skorpi
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3
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538
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Sex and the recovering Alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi -
I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...
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JS
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22
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6663
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Question about Service and Anonymity
(Preview)
Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...
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Skorpi
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5
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668
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I Really Think I'm Losing My Mind
(Preview)
Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...
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SoggySlippers
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17
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4226
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Trauma and drinking
(Preview)
It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...
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Doodlesworth
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21
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892
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AH is shoplifting with our young son - how do I respond?
(Preview)
My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...
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AnnieFenk321
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9
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766
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The habit of feeling wrong
(Preview)
Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...
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Aline
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8
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686
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ODAT Reading 12-5-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...
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hotrod
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4
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575
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Does anyone ever stay married to their AH?
(Preview)
My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...
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Cjm42
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7
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673
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Courage to Change reading 12-2-2017
(Preview)
Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...
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hotrod
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6
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729
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Decison time
(Preview)
I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...
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joker
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5
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878
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all hell has broken loose
(Preview)
omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....
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joker
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7
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698
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C2C, 12/4
(Preview)
Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...
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Lyne
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4
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604
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Step 12 posted
(Preview)
Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...
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hotrod
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0
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455
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Sunday Night Meeting
(Preview)
I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters
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muddy
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0
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416
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I don't know where to start
(Preview)
My SO and I have been best friends for 5-6 years. We ended up getting married and having a daughter this past year . Some background. My husband was married prior and lost his wife in a car accident 7 years ago He was a firefighter at the time and was one of the first on the scene. He also lost his grandparent...
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Starbuxchic
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2
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494
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Hope for Today dec 3
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about turning over our will to our Higher Power, and a couple of ways we may implement doing this. One way to do this is called the God Box; a way of communicating with our HP and then literally letting go of whatever the issue is by placing a note we have written to...
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yanksfan51
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5
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588
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checked my husband into rehab today
(Preview)
It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy, efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking. I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpati...
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carrotseed
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4
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478
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I keep hoping time will bring change in her.......bur know the only one I can change is ME
(Preview)
I have lived with the predictable pattern of my AD's disease long enough that I am getting better at setting protective boundaries for myself. (She does not live with me, she lives a couple of hours away). If I see that a text she has sent is becoming verbally abusive/incoherent, I delete it without r...
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lgnutah
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4
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500
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Courage to Change (C2C) 12/1/17
(Preview)
Happy December all. Today's reading discusses how the program works - in a very simple way. Keep coming back and get into the middle of the program. The quote for today --- from Aristotle is perfect. "What we learn to do we learn by doing." The thought for the day --- Listening, hearing, thinking and...
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Iamhere
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3
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439
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Feeling more myself
(Preview)
The last week has been awful to say the least .. lol. I wound up at the urgent care which is a glorified triage they changed insurance at work and I was not happy about that. The best guess as I am waiting for the test at this point was a sever kidney infection. They thought I might be having a kidney stone....
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SerenityRUS
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6
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454
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Mini victory
(Preview)
So last night my AH came home from being out with friends at a sporting event pretty intoxicated. Not shocking. He was apologizing as soon as he walked in for being drunk. My usual reaction would have been to get angry. I didn't! I used the tools I've been learning and it worked- FOR ME. I was calm and actua...
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Elabella
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8
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727
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Let go of the anger
(Preview)
I have spent the last two days, writing and writing all my anger and pain. I had a lot. Pages of pages of pure rage and pain. I just wrote and wrote and cried and cried. I cried hard. I feel so drained now, So drained. I feel Like there is nothing left inside me. I feel hollow. I am so tired now. I am exhausted. I r...
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joker
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5
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498
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Courage to Change (C2C) 11/30/17
(Preview)
Good late morning MIP family....I apologize for the late posting of the daily. Courage to Change for today discusses our hopes, goals and promises of Al-Anon in a general way. Everyone who plays a part in our lives offers something we might learn. Many reflect the same qualities and values as us and...
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Iamhere
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1
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385
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Christmas Anxiety
(Preview)
So with the holidays fast approaching I am experiencing high anxiety when thinking about how to deal with Christmas Eve dinner this year. For the entire duration of my marriage/relationship to AH (27 years), we have had Christmas Eve dinner at my parents house. Before we had our daughter it didn't me...
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Elabella
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8
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605
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The Holiday Struggle
(Preview)
Put up the tree and am decorating with the kids. My ex-AW is away at rehab and this is usually her big project and she is really really good at it. Everyone looks forward to it because she is so into it. Now they're stuck with me. I'm doing my best but it pales in comparison. And I did not anticipate how much th...
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WestMan
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10
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692
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Nearing a melt down
(Preview)
I am nearing a break down. I can feel it. I left the hotel and came home. I have not officially moved yet. I have not taken the apartment yet. I have to decide by tomorrow. I came home and thought I can manage. I am so wrong. I have my daughter with her mental health issues that I am dealing with. She is going dow...
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joker
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4
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500
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Looking for advice
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hello i am in a similar situation as any of you. My husband of 8 yrs and total of 16 years together is battling addiction to alcohol. He has suffered 4 sezuires in 8 years from trying to stop and had attempted AA but not seriously. He has been to a six month program stayed 4 and is now 2 months in a year program b...
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Mummie21
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52
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6543
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Difficult days
(Preview)
Hi all, just had to post tonight after what has been a very difficult day, the last two weeks since my ex partner died have been hard, I just find the memories of our 4 years together are swamping me a lot of the time. I left him 3 months before he died while he was on a bender that seemed like it was never going t...
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Sorcha
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11
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2689
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Step 11 has been posted to the Step Board
(Preview)
The 11th Step has been posted to the Step Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepw...
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hotrod
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1
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319
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Courage to Change November 29
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the positive change one can experience by working the Al-Anon program and the new way of living that Al-Anon offers. The author shares that, before Al-Anon, they thought that being an adult meant being in control and looking good on t...
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Skorpi
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2
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735
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ODAT reading 11-28-2017
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for November 28, reminds us that "no situation is truly hopeless". Most importantly, the point is that despair and hopelessness are human attitudes and not the conditions of our lives. . It points out that in desperate situations,w,e human beings give up hope because we are un...
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hotrod
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8
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432
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Brand new member- so many questions....
(Preview)
Hi- I'm two meetings in as of yesterday. My husband is a very high functioning alcoholic- he drinks from morning til night every single day for a very long time already. We have a 14 yr old daughter. This last year his disease has really progressed. He used to be to be kind, engaging and interested in doin...
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Elabella
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15
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3093
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THE MOOD SWINGS!!!
(Preview)
I am so exhausted from my husband's mood swings. One day he is so nice and loving and thankful the next day everything overwhelms him and we can't talk about anything without it becoming a fight. I have locked myself in my study and sent him out for the whole morning to "play with our kid" so I could clean th...
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AnnieFenk321
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8
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451
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C2C, 11/27
(Preview)
Gifts from Alanon : Today's reading talks about what the writer accomplished from being a member of Alanon as well as from having a relationship with HP. These gifts include proud of being a survivor, acknowlegement of having dignity, having a wealth of experience that he/she can share, doesn't...
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Lyne
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6
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352
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Need to sit in the silence... Help?
(Preview)
I am really struggling to be my recovery self in the non recovery world.
I know this is not helped by my long held patterns of "all or nothing".
Example: I spent almost five years literally shut out from the world. By choice. To recover, starting with the road to rock bottom.
Now I'm on wobbly legs....
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a4l
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10
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2644
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WHY DO YOU STAY?! - so frustrated right now.
(Preview)
My husband doesn't work. He spends money on things for himself regardless of whether we can afford it or not, when he wants to he just takes the money. He shoplifts and drinks and uses porn. He claims he has stopped now... He is angry and depressed a lot of the time. He speaks to me rudely and angrily all t...
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AnnieFenk321
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9
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575
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