Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

2HP · 2HP

In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...

Cjm42 · Cjm42

My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...

Lyne · Lyne

Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about Steps Eight and Nine and the top person who should be on our list for amends. That person is self - have I harmed myself? The writer suggests that putting herself first had not occurred to her and that somewhere in her past, she got the message that to think of self first was w...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP, happy Wednesday! Today's reading is about the 5th tradition: "Each Al-Anon family group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics." The author goes on to consider how it is that Al-Anon helps families of alcoholics and explains that we must first learn to love ourselves, the...

Carla61 · Carla61

Not sure how to deal with this. Hes crying and says he doesn't want to live anymore and hes so sorry that i didnt deserve this. What can i say or do for him?

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

I just wanted to check in. We are planning to separate at the end of the month. It is taking us that long to get other arrangements in place for childcare and living. He is going to check out a treatment center today and will most likely move in there. It's like a rehab and sober living facility rolled int...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the ODAT is an inspiring reminder of how little time practicing program takes in comparison to the number of hours we have in a week.The reading goes on to explain that we spend many disturbing hours filled with painful experiences and unfulfilled needs and that there are ways to o...

joker · joker

I have been working hard on recovery! face to face al-anon meetings, journaling, therapy. Its been so hard work. I have been drained so much. I have been reading about alcoholism on line and read that alcoholics can go into psychosis. Its called alcohol indused psychosis and it stops once the alcohol...

NCJo · NCJo

My AB has been sober for 6 months. He completed rehab and had been going to meetings regularly. He has been doing so well and takes his sobriety very seriously. Last night we went to a dinner party and he ate about 3 bites of his tiramisu and sensed there was some alcohol in it. He immediately stopped eati...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

In the mirror today...I saw my Mom.How did I become her? As a child I swore to myself I would never go through or put up with all the things she did.I swore I would never act like she did too,so obsessed with my Dad and his drinking that nothing else mattered and nobody else existed.She was always so misera...

Lyne · Lyne

Interesting Concepts: The reading for today talks about doing our part in Alanon, and not expecting HP to do what we can do for ourselves . It goes on to say that The Twelve Steps define what are our responsibilities and those we can turn over to God. It is suggested that we start each day with confiden...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hi MIP family! I have been pretty quiet here for some time, as I am having a hard time keeping up with all the responsibilities of running a single-parent household - you all know the drill! However, I read every night before I go to sleep (to keep me grounded), and I appreciate everyone's shares. Just la...

mamalioness · mamalioness

All my life I have had to be tough..the tough gal who wouldn't let the rager and the pervert destroy her...If I fell down, I would grit my teeth, wipe the blood off and get back up on my bike or my horse, whatever the vehicle it was that tossed me.... It wasn't and isn't the way I want to be..Yea, tough when nec...

nycwriter · nycwriter

Good evening....I hope I can get some insight from this group. Three months ago, I met a woman and fell very hard for her and she felt the same way. She is a recovering alcoholic and she's been sober for 18 years. I completely supported and so admired the things she had gone through, the strength she had to...

misterpiko · misterpiko

Hi all, so I am living with my 24 year old alcoholic birthdaughter and found drug parepheniia in her room, including a scale. She had open pill casings and was clearly snorting something else too. I looked in her pill bottle (my Mom says she's a walking pharmacy) and found hard drugs. Huge trigger for me...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about a survival tool many of us used before coming to the program- stifling feelings. The writer describes a respectful family who never argues , instead swallowing feelings and becoming emotionally frozen. This page resonated with me as I can recall ma...

hotrod · hotrod

Posting for Looking UP The C2C reading for today is extremely helpful and I love how it reinforces the fact that we are free to take care of ourselves in many situations .The reading points out that we have many responsibilities, but many things that we do not have to do in our lives. These are: We do...

LostButterfly · LostButterfly

Im new here. My therapist has suggested I find a meeting for support but Ive been putting it off. I guess, until recently, I wasnt ready to face the truth. What Im reading on here is very scary. It seems like there is no hope. Little about me: I met my husband at 16 and married him at 18. Im 32 now and have two sm...

Elabella · Elabella

I honestly feel so unsure about my methods of detaching. Tonight things were going well- I cooked a lovely dinner and AH was in a pretty good mood. Then, like has been becoming the norm as of late, he totally changed his demeanour. He had asked earlier in the evening if I would go buy beer for him, and I said...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I was talking with my daughter this past week and we had a very interesting chat...She is in AA, NA and also Al-anon, I am in Al-anon and ACA and both of us work our programs sincerely I have 2 younger brothers: 1 is AA/NA qualifer (real bad--street person) and the other is AA (getting worse drunk, sleeps...

Jerry F · Jerry F

So I was early to the Thursday Night Read, Write and Share group and left and when I got home I checked the meeting schedule and found I was 5 minutes early for it...LOL just like me lately. So I jumped back in the van and went back and found a mutual admiration member I have known for 12 years. She has the s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Friday all.....today's reading is about Step 3 and the writer's difficulty with it. She/he asks, "How can I turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power?" She tried and tried and yet still always took things back into her own hands. Fear was part of the issue - scary to think she was n...

SisterKate · SisterKate

I'm new here and will need to do a proper introduction when I have more time (I'm sneaking on at work). I'm 48 years old with two teens. Married ...to an alcoholic. My stepmother is also an alcoholic. In both cases I'm guilty of just ignoring the issue and seething. Stepmom is always an embarrassment at s...

jtpickle · jtpickle

As you've read, I'm doing my best to detach from my AH. However, as boundaries are met and crossed, I feel the need to communicate expectations to my DH. I've found that I can only talk to him in the morning as that is when he is either sober or not too drunk. Often, in order to make sure I "mean what I say...

jtpickle · jtpickle

I'm not sure if I can eloquently ask my question or share my thoughts but here it goes: I've only been in AlAnon just over a month. I'm going to meetings and learning tools, slogans, etc. However, I'm feeling guilty because I'm really feeling defeated and I realize that I'm happy and calm/more at p...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

OK. All the stress of my AH drinking and isolating himself, ignoring me...finally started really affecting my health. I have an arrhythmia and it has started having major changes--and I think this stress is pushing it over the edge. SO I finally opened up to my sister in law ( who is also a trained s...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband and I fought on Friday night. He had damaged something that belonged to me, and we got into our usual fight where he gets defensive and I expect an apology. It's insanity all round. I am proud that I didn't raise my voice or say anything I am ashamed of. But I just shouldn't have gotten into it in t...

andromeda · andromeda

Well, I got a job offer the other day. I completed the paperwork for my background check and did my drug screening yesterday, as well. The pay is not as good as I would have hoped for but the company offers awesome benefits and yearly bonuses that are paid regularly in the neighborhood of $6-7K a year. ...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Today appears to be a particularly good day, full of graditude. Believe me this is something I have struggled with alot.....it may not be the life I dreamed for or long for, but it mine and I am thankful for it. Yes even with the state my marriage is in today, no communication, no affection, no nothing. I c...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, kia ora... good health... I am at a point in life when everything is okay- as good as it could be. My SO is okay too- after addressing her addiction 5 or 6 years ago... there will always be "moments" in a relationship- but these moments are getting fewer and far between. I was going to talk about...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about dealing with loss and change in life. We are reminded that there are many forms of loss - divorce, incarceration, death, sickness and even emotional change. With the help of Al-Anon fellowship and our program, we become aware that we can get through anything with a spiritu...

joker · joker

I am blessed today. How long will my happiness continue. I hope permanently. Just keep the active alcoholic away from my home and my space! I have had it with their insanity! I am loving the quite so much! Just love it! I called the court today as it was the alcoholic first appearance for assaulting me an...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

So here I am learning yet another lesson about living with an AH! And yes learning a lot about myself. I got the heads up from child that AH had been drinking again (over a month of "trying" to stay sober, after coming back into the house after being asked to leave) Child explained how AH was found passed ou...

msmith6352 · msmith6352

Hi All.... I'm just trying to find all I can about 'wet brain'. My roommate and best friend had a seizure of some type about a month ago. After being admitted to the hospital, she was diagnosed as toxic. The hospital detoxed her and released her 4 days later. When she got home her memory, especially...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about balance and the slogan "Live and let live". The author compares a balanced life with Al-Anon to the thrilling balance of flying down a hill on a bicycle. Embracing and thanking their Higher Power for whatever life brings is one of the keys to li...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i too am suffering through a cold but after reading several posts here,decided to post myself. my struggle which is to remember to let my boyfriend do his own thing without me fearing he will think less of me. neither him or i have any addiction issues. i have all my old negative tapes that continue to run...

Seeking freedom · Seeking freedom

I am a strong Alanon believer and I know you are not supposed to advise people. However Iâm in this really difficult situation. My 31 year old daughter is an alcoholic the whole past year has been a roller coaster ride. Sheâs been to detox 3 times, output therapy 1 time and then finally a 60 day rehab. She h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing wit...

Aline · Aline

Hi, guys, I would appreciate some support today or at least no bashing, ha ha. I know we don't do bashing in Alanon, but right now I feel like maybe you folks will make an exception just for me ... Might be my large ego... I called my ex-abf not long ago over the phone because a thought has been nagging me for a...

kayS · kayS

Good afternoon, I'm really struggling with understanding how none of this is personal to me. On one hand I completely get it - my husband recognizes everything that is on the line. I believe that he loves us and our life and doesn't want to lose it. So the only rationale explanation for his continue...

bzz123 · bzz123

My qualifier has been sober since September with two little lapses in between. He's good, happy, moving on, sober, optimistic, all of that. Like he's GREAT. I on the other hand and not good. I feel insane. I feel so mad at him all the time. He barely wants to speak to me. He's like - I try to tell you about the...

MizzB · MizzB

So, ABF is in relapse. He's delusional, thinking it's just a lapse. He believes the group CBT is working. He promised to get individual CBT. I don't believe him. I've heard it too many times. So, the dilemma... If I leave him... I have to deal with the guilt of making him homeless I have to look after the...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to Christmas before Alanon there were some good memories, im trying hard to remember it wasn't all bad but the drinking seemed to taint everything for me, every memory even when the kids were small and it was all magical. my mind was never fully on the kids or Christmas. Its as if alcohol...

andromeda · andromeda

A friend of mine passed away yesterday AM due to multi organ failure and a stomach infection as a result of his alcoholism. I was close to his wife, actually, as she was a rock at many of our AL Anon meetings and she and I had traveled to a few Christian women's retreats together that her church organized....

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for December 12 speaks about our tendency to blame others for any difficulty that we encounter. The reading points out that we must realize that every time we feel that someone has affected us, that at least part of our unhappiness is due to the way we reacted . It suggests that we are n...

Elabella · Elabella

today I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and sad. I'm so confused with the behaviour of my AH. The past few days have been awful. Our fighting escalated- I totally engaged in the taunting, bullying behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore. His stress at work has increased, and as such he's using me as an o...

MizzB · MizzB

...unless you live with an alcoholic. BF is still in recovery (he's out tonight so that may very well change) but there are now frequent events where there is drinking and drunks using peer pressure to try to get him to drink. I don't understand what his barrier is to just saying "I don't drink" but appa...

mamalioness · mamalioness

WEll I told you all I had met a guy in the grocery store and we started with email...my suggestion and he was great with that....test the waters over cyberspace, however we did exchange phone numbers and I realized that I goofed..I gave him my business phone instead of my pers. phone, so I CALLED...left...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is not an easy task for me to do. My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences. She came home this week...

joker · joker

I have been doing lots of self care, since 9 days today that the alcoholic assaulted me and forced out the house. I must say life has been bliss, just love the quite and sanity. No more drunkenness and meanness and angry outburst at me, no more listening to madness, talking to self and having endless disc...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I left my marriage six months ago because my husband's alcoholism had caused him to decline both physically and mentally. My departure shocked him into entering detox (a life threatening experience for him) and rehab. When he came out, he was much better and I allowed myself to be convinced t...

Lyne · Lyne

Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...

DavidG · DavidG

Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...

jtpickle · jtpickle

Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...

jtpickle · jtpickle

How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?

	Sub Forum	Topics	Posts	Last Post
	Al-anon speakers - Read Only Al-anon speakers	2	2	October 26th by WebHelper
	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Group conscience (Preview) In one of my groups, we held a group conscience to discuss interrupting members (gently of course) if their share was becoming too focused on the alcoholic. They wished to include in our opening remarks that "In Al-anon, we share our own ESH while keeping the focus on ourselves and how the program is h...	2HP	21	1152	Dec 22, 2017 by newnoz
	Feeling much more myself lately .. (Preview) I have finally started to feel semi normal in terms of health. The last 3 weeks have been pretty brutal. I still am having a bout of something however nothing that the original antibiotics has not taken care of, the coughing was the worst and now it seems I have some weird intestinal thing going on and o...	SerenityRUS	3	760	Dec 22, 2017 by _bunny_
	Let It Begin With Me (Preview) As soon as I woke up this morning I started thinking "Let it begin with me". I don't know why though because I wasn't consciously thinking it.And that thought has been repeating over and over in my mind since then.I even felt the urge(nudge?) to search online and do some reading on it.I also felt an urge...	SoggySlippers	13	1469	Dec 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Is he drinking? (Preview) My AH is coming up on (maybe) 3 months sober, but he came home tonight and I suspect heâs been drinking. I think I smell it, under a lot of minty gum. Heâs acting just a little off. I hate this feeling of distrust, worry, anger (for maybe being lied to), guilt (for maybe being wrong in my suspicion). I have a b...	Cjm42	2	654	Dec 21, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hard being a grown up (Preview) Sometimes I just shake my head at myself because there are days and activities I just find hard to do and/or don't want to do. Today I will be taking care of my sick granddaughter knowing full well I may get sick too. Earlier this week I went to the dentist and had another medical check up the very next day...	Lyne	4	1032	Dec 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/21/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about Steps Eight and Nine and the top person who should be on our list for amends. That person is self - have I harmed myself? The writer suggests that putting herself first had not occurred to her and that somewhere in her past, she got the message that to think of self first was w...	Iamhere	2	669	Dec 21, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change December 20 (Preview) Hello MIP, happy Wednesday! Today's reading is about the 5th tradition: "Each Al-Anon family group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics." The author goes on to consider how it is that Al-Anon helps families of alcoholics and explains that we must first learn to love ourselves, the...	Skorpi	5	1016	Dec 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Husband is drunk and manic (Preview) Not sure how to deal with this. Hes crying and says he doesn't want to live anymore and hes so sorry that i didnt deserve this. What can i say or do for him?	Carla61	7	859	Dec 20, 2017 by Aline
	check-in: separating (Preview) I just wanted to check in. We are planning to separate at the end of the month. It is taking us that long to get other arrangements in place for childcare and living. He is going to check out a treatment center today and will most likely move in there. It's like a rehab and sober living facility rolled int...	AnnieFenk321	12	973	Dec 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT READING 12/19 (Preview) Today's reading in the ODAT is an inspiring reminder of how little time practicing program takes in comparison to the number of hours we have in a week.The reading goes on to explain that we spend many disturbing hours filled with painful experiences and unfulfilled needs and that there are ways to o...	hotrod	7	746	Dec 19, 2017 by hotrod
	new learnings (Preview) I have been working hard on recovery! face to face al-anon meetings, journaling, therapy. Its been so hard work. I have been drained so much. I have been reading about alcoholism on line and read that alcoholics can go into psychosis. Its called alcohol indused psychosis and it stops once the alcohol...	joker	5	1063	Dec 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Sobriety date (Preview) My AB has been sober for 6 months. He completed rehab and had been going to meetings regularly. He has been doing so well and takes his sobriety very seriously. Last night we went to a dinner party and he ate about 3 bites of his tiramisu and sensed there was some alcohol in it. He immediately stopped eati...	NCJo	6	788	Dec 18, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	I Saw My Mom (Preview) In the mirror today...I saw my Mom.How did I become her? As a child I swore to myself I would never go through or put up with all the things she did.I swore I would never act like she did too,so obsessed with my Dad and his drinking that nothing else mattered and nobody else existed.She was always so misera...	SoggySlippers	7	814	Dec 18, 2017 by SoggySlippers
	C2C, 12/18 (Preview) Interesting Concepts: The reading for today talks about doing our part in Alanon, and not expecting HP to do what we can do for ourselves . It goes on to say that The Twelve Steps define what are our responsibilities and those we can turn over to God. It is suggested that we start each day with confiden...	Lyne	5	703	Dec 18, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Needing ESH on this topic (Preview) Hi MIP family! I have been pretty quiet here for some time, as I am having a hard time keeping up with all the responsibilities of running a single-parent household - you all know the drill! However, I read every night before I go to sleep (to keep me grounded), and I appreciate everyone's shares. Just la...	PosiesandPuppies	20	1020	Dec 18, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	They sure know how to pull at your heartstrings (Preview) All my life I have had to be tough..the tough gal who wouldn't let the rager and the pervert destroy her...If I fell down, I would grit my teeth, wipe the blood off and get back up on my bike or my horse, whatever the vehicle it was that tossed me.... It wasn't and isn't the way I want to be..Yea, tough when nec...	mamalioness	13	781	Dec 18, 2017 by mamalioness
	Breakup with a recovering alcoholic--in need of advice (Preview) Good evening....I hope I can get some insight from this group. Three months ago, I met a woman and fell very hard for her and she felt the same way. She is a recovering alcoholic and she's been sober for 18 years. I completely supported and so admired the things she had gone through, the strength she had to...	nycwriter	14	5940	Dec 18, 2017 by Maresie
	I Need Your Help ASAP (Preview) Hi all, so I am living with my 24 year old alcoholic birthdaughter and found drug parepheniia in her room, including a scale. She had open pill casings and was clearly snorting something else too. I looked in her pill bottle (my Mom says she's a walking pharmacy) and found hard drugs. Huge trigger for me...	misterpiko	10	794	Dec 17, 2017 by misterpiko
	Hope for Today Dec 17 (Preview) Good Morning everyone- Todays reading is about a survival tool many of us used before coming to the program- stifling feelings. The writer describes a respectful family who never argues , instead swallowing feelings and becoming emotionally frozen. This page resonated with me as I can recall ma...	yanksfan51	4	667	Dec 17, 2017 by DavidG
	C2C Reading 12-16 (Preview) Posting for Looking UP The C2C reading for today is extremely helpful and I love how it reinforces the fact that we are free to take care of ourselves in many situations .The reading points out that we have many responsibilities, but many things that we do not have to do in our lives. These are: We do...	hotrod	1	616	Dec 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	Shifting addictions (Preview) Im new here. My therapist has suggested I find a meeting for support but Ive been putting it off. I guess, until recently, I wasnt ready to face the truth. What Im reading on here is very scary. It seems like there is no hope. Little about me: I met my husband at 16 and married him at 18. Im 32 now and have two sm...	LostButterfly	5	729	Dec 16, 2017 by AnnieFenk321
	Help with detaching...why can't I wrap my head around this??! (Preview) I honestly feel so unsure about my methods of detaching. Tonight things were going well- I cooked a lovely dinner and AH was in a pretty good mood. Then, like has been becoming the norm as of late, he totally changed his demeanour. He had asked earlier in the evening if I would go buy beer for him, and I said...	Elabella	28	967	Dec 16, 2017 by Maresie
	When is a relationship TOO high maintenance and therefore no longer worth it??? (Preview) I was talking with my daughter this past week and we had a very interesting chat...She is in AA, NA and also Al-anon, I am in Al-anon and ACA and both of us work our programs sincerely I have 2 younger brothers: 1 is AA/NA qualifer (real bad--street person) and the other is AA (getting worse drunk, sleeps...	mamalioness	3	761	Dec 16, 2017 by hotrod
	Great one on one face to face meeting. (Preview) So I was early to the Thursday Night Read, Write and Share group and left and when I got home I checked the meeting schedule and found I was 5 minutes early for it...LOL just like me lately. So I jumped back in the van and went back and found a mutual admiration member I have known for 12 years. She has the s...	Jerry F	2	623	Dec 15, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/15/17 (Preview) Happy Friday all.....today's reading is about Step 3 and the writer's difficulty with it. She/he asks, "How can I turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power?" She tried and tried and yet still always took things back into her own hands. Fear was part of the issue - scary to think she was n...	Iamhere	5	627	Dec 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Partial Introduction and Holiday Stress (Preview) I'm new here and will need to do a proper introduction when I have more time (I'm sneaking on at work). I'm 48 years old with two teens. Married ...to an alcoholic. My stepmother is also an alcoholic. In both cases I'm guilty of just ignoring the issue and seething. Stepmom is always an embarrassment at s...	SisterKate	13	1455	Dec 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Communication with AH (Preview) As you've read, I'm doing my best to detach from my AH. However, as boundaries are met and crossed, I feel the need to communicate expectations to my DH. I've found that I can only talk to him in the morning as that is when he is either sober or not too drunk. Often, in order to make sure I "mean what I say...	jtpickle	4	670	Dec 15, 2017 by jtpickle
	Grieving, detaching or what? (Preview) I'm not sure if I can eloquently ask my question or share my thoughts but here it goes: I've only been in AlAnon just over a month. I'm going to meetings and learning tools, slogans, etc. However, I'm feeling guilty because I'm really feeling defeated and I realize that I'm happy and calm/more at p...	jtpickle	6	831	Dec 15, 2017 by jtpickle
	I had to tell family (Preview) OK. All the stress of my AH drinking and isolating himself, ignoring me...finally started really affecting my health. I have an arrhythmia and it has started having major changes--and I think this stress is pushing it over the edge. SO I finally opened up to my sister in law ( who is also a trained s...	Dancer66	4	712	Dec 15, 2017 by Lyne
	I think I am done (Preview) My husband and I fought on Friday night. He had damaged something that belonged to me, and we got into our usual fight where he gets defensive and I expect an apology. It's insanity all round. I am proud that I didn't raise my voice or say anything I am ashamed of. But I just shouldn't have gotten into it in t...	AnnieFenk321	7	787	Dec 15, 2017 by mamalioness
	Got offered a job! Other updates..... (Preview) Well, I got a job offer the other day. I completed the paperwork for my background check and did my drug screening yesterday, as well. The pay is not as good as I would have hoped for but the company offers awesome benefits and yearly bonuses that are paid regularly in the neighborhood of $6-7K a year. ...	andromeda	11	2106	Dec 15, 2017 by Jen61
	Graditude (Preview) Today appears to be a particularly good day, full of graditude. Believe me this is something I have struggled with alot.....it may not be the life I dreamed for or long for, but it mine and I am thankful for it. Yes even with the state my marriage is in today, no communication, no affection, no nothing. I c...	Curlyblu	4	651	Dec 14, 2017 by Jerry F
	A share, and some fear... just a little... (Preview) Hi y'all, kia ora... good health... I am at a point in life when everything is okay- as good as it could be. My SO is okay too- after addressing her addiction 5 or 6 years ago... there will always be "moments" in a relationship- but these moments are getting fewer and far between. I was going to talk about...	DavidG	4	821	Dec 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/14/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about dealing with loss and change in life. We are reminded that there are many forms of loss - divorce, incarceration, death, sickness and even emotional change. With the help of Al-Anon fellowship and our program, we become aware that we can get through anything with a spiritu...	Iamhere	2	611	Dec 14, 2017 by Aline
	Court update and feelings (Preview) I am blessed today. How long will my happiness continue. I hope permanently. Just keep the active alcoholic away from my home and my space! I have had it with their insanity! I am loving the quite so much! Just love it! I called the court today as it was the alcoholic first appearance for assaulting me an...	joker	1	655	Dec 13, 2017 by mamalioness
	mistake.....learn the lesson (Preview) So here I am learning yet another lesson about living with an AH! And yes learning a lot about myself. I got the heads up from child that AH had been drinking again (over a month of "trying" to stay sober, after coming back into the house after being asked to leave) Child explained how AH was found passed ou...	Curlyblu	11	841	Dec 13, 2017 by Jerry F
	Looking for info on 'wet brain' (Preview) Hi All.... I'm just trying to find all I can about 'wet brain'. My roommate and best friend had a seizure of some type about a month ago. After being admitted to the hospital, she was diagnosed as toxic. The hospital detoxed her and released her 4 days later. When she got home her memory, especially...	msmith6352	21	1441	Dec 13, 2017 by MaggieRuth
	Courage to Change December 13 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about balance and the slogan "Live and let live". The author compares a balanced life with Al-Anon to the thrilling balance of flying down a hill on a bicycle. Embracing and thanking their Higher Power for whatever life brings is one of the keys to li...	Skorpi	4	1047	Dec 13, 2017 by Curlyblu
	LETTING GO (Preview) i too am suffering through a cold but after reading several posts here,decided to post myself. my struggle which is to remember to let my boyfriend do his own thing without me fearing he will think less of me. neither him or i have any addiction issues. i have all my old negative tapes that continue to run...	YARNCRAZY	2	652	Dec 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	What about the children (Preview) I am a strong Alanon believer and I know you are not supposed to advise people. However Iâm in this really difficult situation. My 31 year old daughter is an alcoholic the whole past year has been a roller coaster ride. Sheâs been to detox 3 times, output therapy 1 time and then finally a 60 day rehab. She h...	Seeking freedom	4	707	Dec 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why am I surprised .. LOL (Preview) My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing wit...	SerenityRUS	3	1064	Dec 13, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	my day (Preview) Hi, guys, I would appreciate some support today or at least no bashing, ha ha. I know we don't do bashing in Alanon, but right now I feel like maybe you folks will make an exception just for me ... Might be my large ego... I called my ex-abf not long ago over the phone because a thought has been nagging me for a...	Aline	10	731	Dec 13, 2017 by Aline
	I just don't get it (Preview) Good afternoon, I'm really struggling with understanding how none of this is personal to me. On one hand I completely get it - my husband recognizes everything that is on the line. I believe that he loves us and our life and doesn't want to lose it. So the only rationale explanation for his continue...	kayS	10	783	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	he's moving on - I am the one having trouble (Preview) My qualifier has been sober since September with two little lapses in between. He's good, happy, moving on, sober, optimistic, all of that. Like he's GREAT. I on the other hand and not good. I feel insane. I feel so mad at him all the time. He barely wants to speak to me. He's like - I try to tell you about the...	bzz123	5	677	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	The Relapse: The decision (Preview) So, ABF is in relapse. He's delusional, thinking it's just a lapse. He believes the group CBT is working. He promised to get individual CBT. I don't believe him. I've heard it too many times. So, the dilemma... If I leave him... I have to deal with the guilt of making him homeless I have to look after the...	MizzB	9	772	Dec 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Fear at Christmas (Preview) When I think back to Christmas before Alanon there were some good memories, im trying hard to remember it wasn't all bad but the drinking seemed to taint everything for me, every memory even when the kids were small and it was all magical. my mind was never fully on the kids or Christmas. Its as if alcohol...	el-cee	2	601	Dec 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	The disease takes a friend of mine (I hate it!) (Preview) A friend of mine passed away yesterday AM due to multi organ failure and a stomach infection as a result of his alcoholism. I was close to his wife, actually, as she was a rock at many of our AL Anon meetings and she and I had traveled to a few Christian women's retreats together that her church organized....	andromeda	10	671	Dec 12, 2017 by el-cee
	ODAT Reading 12-12-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for December 12 speaks about our tendency to blame others for any difficulty that we encounter. The reading points out that we must realize that every time we feel that someone has affected us, that at least part of our unhappiness is due to the way we reacted . It suggests that we are n...	hotrod	4	680	Dec 12, 2017 by hotrod
	Jekyl & Hyde.. (Preview) today I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and sad. I'm so confused with the behaviour of my AH. The past few days have been awful. Our fighting escalated- I totally engaged in the taunting, bullying behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore. His stress at work has increased, and as such he's using me as an o...	Elabella	26	870	Dec 12, 2017 by KT2015
	It's the most wonderful time of the year... (Preview) ...unless you live with an alcoholic. BF is still in recovery (he's out tonight so that may very well change) but there are now frequent events where there is drinking and drunks using peer pressure to try to get him to drink. I don't understand what his barrier is to just saying "I don't drink" but appa...	MizzB	8	864	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	Not really Al-anon, but MAYBE a tad???? Ya think???? (Preview) WEll I told you all I had met a guy in the grocery store and we started with email...my suggestion and he was great with that....test the waters over cyberspace, however we did exchange phone numbers and I realized that I goofed..I gave him my business phone instead of my pers. phone, so I CALLED...left...	mamalioness	5	673	Dec 12, 2017 by mamalioness
	Staying on my side of the street (Preview) This is not an easy task for me to do. My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences. She came home this week...	SerenityRUS	3	650	Dec 11, 2017 by andromeda
	Relief (Preview) I have been doing lots of self care, since 9 days today that the alcoholic assaulted me and forced out the house. I must say life has been bliss, just love the quite and sanity. No more drunkenness and meanness and angry outburst at me, no more listening to madness, talking to self and having endless disc...	joker	2	566	Dec 11, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	after months of a successful detox and rehab - relapse! (Preview) Hi All, I left my marriage six months ago because my husband's alcoholism had caused him to decline both physically and mentally. My departure shocked him into entering detox (a life threatening experience for him) and rehab. When he came out, he was much better and I allowed myself to be convinced t...	gratefulforafuture	8	683	Dec 11, 2017 by MizzB
	C2C, 12/11 (Preview) Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...	Lyne	3	642	Dec 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Will the real me please stand up! (Preview) Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...	DavidG	8	936	Dec 10, 2017 by mamalioness
	I Was Gonna.... (Preview) I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...	SoggySlippers	6	777	Dec 10, 2017 by Carla61
	Detachment examples? (Preview) Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...	jtpickle	5	1177	Dec 10, 2017 by Curtainclimbers
	7/11 Happy Dance (Preview) I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...	Jerry F	5	755	Dec 10, 2017 by el-cee
	Live and Let Live vs. Financial Decisions (Preview) How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?	jtpickle	3	711	Dec 10, 2017 by el-cee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.