Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kitty · kitty

John Bradshaw, a recovering alcoholic did a series on the Dysfunctional Family - I watched the video over & over. He explained that how in a dysfunctional family each member is "like a piece hanging off of a mobile" & if one gets spinning or bumped - the whole family feels the waves... ...

jj · jj

Yesterday we got our first snow fall. This morning when I got up and the sun was comming up the snow was so beautiful!!! What is good is that it is not too cold which makes it even nicer!!! I was not looking forward to winter but today made it a bit easier to appreciate it for the beauty!! JJ:smi...

tullemars · tullemars

My A was removed from the house last Month and seems to be doing very well in her program. She has been in and out of programs for 2 years but this is the first time she has been removed from the home. We care for each other very much and are not looking to divorce. We have Four kids and and we both love the...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

It’s Never Good Enough Whatever I do is never good enough for you You expect too much out of me I’m not a little kid anymore You’re getting to me slowly I feel your presence lingering around It’s weird now Lauren-ash You a...

nancyfrances · nancyfrances

I am new to this website as of a few minutes ago. Very neat and helpful. I have been married for 18 years to what I had considered first to be an recreational drinker. (I am also the child of a major alcoholic). Our marriage is on the rocks and he doesn't see that his recreational...

hudsond · hudsond

Things have been going well. My A has been sober for almost 4 weeks. It has been really nice. We are doing things together and as a family, and it is fun. But yesterday I found myself very sad and depressed feeling. I don't understand why. I have been trying to work on my s...

taddy · taddy

Hello, My son has been an addict since the age of 14 (there is alcoholism on both sides of his family). He's now 21. He's been in rehab, through years of counseling, joined the navy, got kicked out, worked, just started college and is failing. There's always an excuse - the teacher is stupid, the navy i...

Barbara · Barbara

who doesnt own a car? Im mad enough that DH needs to drive 20mins each way to pickup/bring home his friend twice a wk but there is no way I want this guy sleeping at my house on a regular basis! Im feeling that if I leave DHs booze alone (not mix with water) that DH will be getting drunk faster and there won...

Barbara · Barbara

Who has read this book? What did you think? I received it today from the library. Seems like an easy read - hoping it helps. Also received "The Courage to Change" but I think that will be harder to get through.

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Honesty is stronger medicine than sympathy, which may console but often conceals. --Gretel Ehrlich We owe our brothers and sisters in this program our honest feedback. And we need the same honesty from them. There are times in meetings when it would be easiest to give someone sympathy and priva...

jj · jj

My hubby out of the blue Saturday Morning stated that his needs that I did not meet were being satisfied by some one no names mentioned. I was stunned!!! I didn't react just turned arround and continued on with what I was doing. I didn't really have much time to think about it until late Sund...

ESH · ESH

OK, while trying to figure out how to login to the meeting in progress, I probably disturbed those in the morning "meeting room" today... if so, I apologize. I cannot figure out for the life of me how to log on as ESH. The danged thing keeps telling me that I am giving an erroneous, command or...

sunny1 · sunny1

So I wonder, am I the only person out there that is not greatful for what they have? I am so busy trying to be the ring leader and the person who has to have it her way. That I am not satisfied with what I have and am always looking in the windows of everyone else thinking I want what they have.&nbs...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

What is wrong with the world? There is violence in the world People shooting each other, Parents beating their kids Prostitutes standing at the corner Children having no one to turn to The world is going insane Kids now have to deal with the world and...

Kim · Kim

So, I didn't even make it 24 hours. Gave in to my anger and called my A to pick a fight aboutthe bills. Why? I don't know. Because I sometimes can't help myself in giving in to the anger. It's not the bills I'm angry about. It's his relapse and my lack of control over his addiction. But any excuse to arg...

mxxmom · mxxmom

Hello - I have a 20 yr. old son who is an alcoholic. He's been using/drinking since he was about 15 & I fear at this rate he does not have many years left. It's a long story & one you've probably heard many times before...but suffice it to say that nothing, not Rehab/AA/NA/etc...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello My Dear And Very Much Loved Friends, Well I am still not sure what is going on as for my marriage. He came home, but isn't really speaking to me. He is also sleeping on the couch. It is hard to know if there isn't any communication. I am just going to wait until he is ready. That is all I can do. Well, tha...

chrissy · chrissy

well my a is doing so well

he is going to work every day ,going to his meetings and going home every night. i was going to surprise him and meet him for lunch but he asked me to come & i told him i was going to surprise you and he was so happy. last week he bought an air mattress an...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Today was my counseling session, and my therapist gave me some paperwork on setting boundaries. Ouch, that hurt! I realized in reading thru the list that I have let a LOT of these things go down in my life. And as "Canadianguy" pointed out in reply to my last post, my A hasn't r...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone! Sometimes I have difficulty comprehending the 12 steps, so this evening I bought a book by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. called "Waking Up Just In Time". It has Charlie Brown on the front cover.

I am reading Step 2 and read something that really hit me over the head. It said that some people...

megan · megan

Hello roomies As some of you know I am going through a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an alcoholic. The last 3 when he did not work, drank 24/7 and was emotionally abusive and controlling SHEER HELL Yesterday I paid bills. I realized I had only a few checks left. I calle...

david62 · david62

Come one come all...Tonight is the monthly business meeting for MIP Al-anon group. Time: 6:00pm Central time (I leave you to do the conversion to your applicable time zone

) Place: The Chat Room Attire: Casual Hope to see you there.....! David:smil...

kitty · kitty

Yeah, (rosie) I know saying "never" or "always" are a little crazy. I would love to find someone *special* to share myself with. Ppl just seem to change when they get married to each other - it's bizarre. I would love to think it is a possibility (marriage), someday, who knows. ...

Layla · Layla

Hi, I am new here and to Alanon. I am 52 years old and about 5 months into a new relationship with a man who I have known since I was 15. We lost touch with each other when we were 18 and about 3 years ago started emailing each other and talking on the phone. Even though I grew up in a...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

ummmm i feel soo lost and alone... I feel as if I am just one person in the huge world. All I see is a dark tunnel, and no light shining through. I know I am alive on the outside because I am breathing, but my inside is dead..... My Own Life Living a lie is how I live Trust no one...

Barbara · Barbara

As Ive said before Ive been pouring out DHs vodka for about 10yrs now and replacing it with water. Ive been told not to do this. However, Im afraid of what he'll be like if I dont! He does appear to get drunker when the vodka isnt diluted. But maybe this is how he needs to be to realize he needs to get better?...

Satori · Satori

I spent a tremendous amount of downtime given to me by a lack of electricity for days from Hurricane Wilma to work Step One, Step Two, Step Three, and Step Four on something that started off quite simply with something I said to myself during the hurricane. As some of you know, I am a storm tracke...

gknee · gknee

Hi all- Just bouncing some more thoughts out here for you to give me your 2cents on. I am so happy to have you people in my life to air this stuff out with. As I ranted yesterday, my A husband has been lying to me about use of pot again..(what else is new) We have been in marriage counseling for the pas...

leo · leo

Hi everyone update on the Melbourne Cup horse race in Australia. Makybe Diva did it again 3 years in a row. She is just a beautiful horse and the nation has fallen in love with her. Just as we have our Diva on the board who is made of inner strength so too is this horse. Sorry for th...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

today i am very angry. my a brought to my attention that when he went out a week ago he went into his savings and speant all the car insurance money for this months payment. so he went to his grandmother who is the most loving christian i have ever met. so basically she is paying for his crack habit. he admitt...

gknee · gknee

this is just a continued rant from my last post. Abbyral made a great comment--stop expecting and start accepting. I CAN"T. I just cannot accept the idea that this is a hopeless situation. I have seen improvements--in both him and myself and our family dynamics. but I'd be lying if I said that i don't ex...

Kim · Kim

Has anyone seen that movie? Bill Murray reliving the same day over and over. This is how I feel. I just keep going back to the same day. Here I am October 31st and I might as well go back to August 15th...September 12th (my A's last two relapses). Back to the scene of the crime. Back to the "no call rule".&nbs...

princess433 · princess433

Once again, I am feeling like crap. Today someone asked me what my biggest fear was, and it really made me think. I would have to say that my biggest fear is being like my mother. Isnt that horrible? Everyday I live life just worrieng if I am going to be like her. If I am going to make the same mistakes tha...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was listening to an excerpt from a speaker tape on relationships, and the speaker was speaking of that question "how do I trust them?" What this speaker said really hit me. He started off by saying, you just do it. Then he started expanding... he spoke of those who get suspicious a...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: Yesterday: sad. Today: angry. I love the bevy of emotions I can feel in a matter of hours. Yesterday, after much conversation about my husband's recent relapse, many tears from him (a first) on how he "can't get it" and me trying to stay "together" and non-reactive, I finally just d...

bdswamp · bdswamp

Hi all, Nice to have a place like this to turn to. I have been married 18 yrs. I have drank my share in times passed,but not anymore. I live with an alcoholic who doesn't want to get sober. I am 43 yrs. old and have already had cancer. I want to keep healthy so it never returns. My body is...

gardengal · gardengal

"One day at a time"--------- Alcoholics who have found AA are constantly reminded that they need only to stay sober "one day at a time". Today, for them as far for us, is the key word. The ancient Persian poet Omar says " Unborn tomorrow and dead Yesterday, Why fret about them if today be s...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Food Is Not Love With our heads, we know that food is not the same thing as love. When this fact sinks into our emotions, we are released from our obsession with food. In order to reach this point of emotional development, we need to abstain physically from compulsive overeating. As long as we are ph...

FreeOfTheBottle · FreeOfTheBottle

I got this in an email and it really hit home on how I need to feel about myself. I wanted to share it with ya'll and hope the words help lift you up like they did me. FOTB BEGINNING TODAY I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. On...

Picowitch · Picowitch

Check out my pumpkin I carved all by myself. I rock!!!

Diane43 · Diane43

Hi, Good morning everyone and Happy Halloween! I have been attending al anon meetings both online and face to face. I have this issue of not trusting this man I have been seeing. He is an active drinker and I wonder at times if he is truthful with me. He told me the other day a wom...

nycbt · nycbt

I am still on step one. I was asking him if he was staying home today not like last night where he took off. I don't know why I do it however I do it. I am working a little at a time on detachment. Like I went a while today without calling him. If he does leave tonight I will try my hardest not to call him. Or a...

Kim · Kim

God, it's so predictable. Just when I am fighting with myself not to call....after he tells me to call when i'm ready, he just couldn't take it and he called. Twice. The third time I picked up the phone. I had to ask, "why..why are you calling me, please respect the boundary of giving me some space....

gknee · gknee

Hi Everybody- Been busy making Halloween costumes and working--not reading and posting as much as I'd like. My questions for all of you for today-- How do you handle lying? I told my A that honesty was my only real boundary. If he uses, he uses--that is his choice BUT don't sneak and lie and pl...

Jeannie · Jeannie

I have been reading posts and talking and doing so much thinking. As always the thinking makes me ask more questions. Did I seperate from my husband in an attempt to get him to stop drinking? In all honesty yes. I love him so much and do not want to end my marriage. I have tried accepting it, and livin...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi friends, October is at its end... I survived month one without A in house! But there has been so much emotion, so much happening that I have mixed emotions. I had hoped that by now there would be some progress on his part. But I think that rather than him realizing he's los...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Roomies, I am getting tired of weekends, I do so much better during the week, but the weekends are horrible. I went to an alanon function on financies. It is not CAL approved, but it was how the steps, traditions, concepts, and warranties can be worked into the personal financial world. It wa...

marmare · marmare

Good Morning! It's Monday and I am just having a hard time focusing on work...LOL I am alone in the office until close to 5pm which makes it really hard, phones are quiet and it's dark, cloudy, and cold outside. Wishing I was up in my bed watching talk shows..... I got caught up on the pos...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Our Relationship With A Higher Power "Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves."Basic Text, p.96Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous gives us a fresh start in life and some guidan...

cdb · cdb

I am back at my lifeline support group where I belong :) The tears were so healing but I am exhausted. I want to say that I still miss dadrrb and he is in my heart with rememberances of all the good he did in this site. God Bless you dadrrb. I made an impulsive decision to go see my mom and dad tomorrow. My mom cal...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! May the Great Pumpkin rise out the pumpkin patch and bring you lots of goodies. Have a wonderful day with the children and passing out candy and just having fun. Be careful and safe tonight. The World War I Flying Ace will be protecting you. (I've never figure...

whitie · whitie

Just wanted to tell you all that I moved out on the 27th. All is well so far. I've yet to answer any of his phone calls. There's not much to say any more. I talked with his Mom today and she wants to support me as much as she can, she's always been in my court. Her husband (my A's Dad) was also an alcoholic....

kitty · kitty

I am laying low but want you to all know I have sensed your prayers & appreciate it & love you all. THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH. Last week was a *real* test but I seem to have passed ok. I finally cd, to give info as it appears my ex is being watched - I was grateful to find out he is still...

nycbt · nycbt

Like people say you can't make someone it just doesn't work. Well On Thursday he went to a meeting. Didn't go all weekend. Said his sponosr doesn't want to go out on the weekend. I don't know if that is true or not. But yesterday I went with my guy friend to AC in NJ and he doesn't really trust this guy. But I di...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

Today's thought is: To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration. --Anonymous Life is what it is. It seldom matches our hopes and dreams, but it never fails to be exactly what we need. We are shortsighted, really. Reflections on the past can enlighten u...

kissers · kissers

I have reflected a lot about my past and have found that I do NOT listen to my inner voice when I should. My family taught me not to listen to my inner voice because my thoughts, feelings, and intuition were wrong. They distorted the truth to cover their guilt. My father (the A) always taught me to NEVER be d...

Kim · Kim

Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, I have been isolating myself again to some degree and have not been able to do what I need. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling as if something was not right and was fighting it. My A and I have been talking and seeing each other frequently and the past cou...

leo · leo

Hi just need a little feedback here guys. I went to a counsellor on Monday D/A had a good talk about what boundaries to put in place with my A etc. As yet I haven't been able to do that because the kids have been around or he is at work. He runs his own business and at the moment is working seven day...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Today I was reading the story ‘Even a therapist can be affected by alcoholism’ in the book How Al-anon Works and something struck me. In the story, the woman in the program realized that her husband needed “to experience the consequences of his behavior and feel his own discomfort.” She then says “I...

ESH · ESH

I am so happy to have found this place! I just found the chatroom tonight & participated in my first online meeting ever. I am looking forward to sharing & getting to know all of you!! I found out about "online Al-Anon Meetings" from the suggestion of my bf (my A). I wo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	emotional enmeshment (Preview) John Bradshaw, a recovering alcoholic did a series on the Dysfunctional Family - I watched the video over & over. He explained that how in a dysfunctional family each member is "like a piece hanging off of a mobile" & if one gets spinning or bumped - the whole family feels the waves... ...	kitty	3	3568	Nov 2, 2005 by kitty
	Snow!! (Preview) Yesterday we got our first snow fall. This morning when I got up and the sun was comming up the snow was so beautiful!!! What is good is that it is not too cold which makes it even nicer!!! I was not looking forward to winter but today made it a bit easier to appreciate it for the beauty!! JJ:smi...	jj	3	436	Nov 2, 2005 by Karilynn
	Question please (Preview) My A was removed from the house last Month and seems to be doing very well in her program. She has been in and out of programs for 2 years but this is the first time she has been removed from the home. We care for each other very much and are not looking to divorce. We have Four kids and and we both love the...	tullemars	3	761	Nov 2, 2005 by abbyal
	more of my dark poems (Preview) It’s Never Good Enough Whatever I do is never good enough for you You expect too much out of me I’m not a little kid anymore You’re getting to me slowly I feel your presence lingering around It’s weird now Lauren-ash You a...	Lauren ashley	1	431	Nov 2, 2005 by megan
	What is alcoholism - what are the signs. (Preview) I am new to this website as of a few minutes ago. Very neat and helpful. I have been married for 18 years to what I had considered first to be an recreational drinker. (I am also the child of a major alcoholic). Our marriage is on the rocks and he doesn't see that his recreational...	nancyfrances	5	552	Nov 2, 2005 by nancyfrances
	Not sure what to feel (Preview) Things have been going well. My A has been sober for almost 4 weeks. It has been really nice. We are doing things together and as a family, and it is fun. But yesterday I found myself very sad and depressed feeling. I don't understand why. I have been trying to work on my s...	hudsond	3	517	Nov 2, 2005 by hudsond
	New - Please Help (Preview) Hello, My son has been an addict since the age of 14 (there is alcoholism on both sides of his family). He's now 21. He's been in rehab, through years of counseling, joined the navy, got kicked out, worked, just started college and is failing. There's always an excuse - the teacher is stupid, the navy i...	taddy	3	522	Nov 2, 2005 by canadianguy
	what can i do about DHs drinking buddy? (Preview) who doesnt own a car? Im mad enough that DH needs to drive 20mins each way to pickup/bring home his friend twice a wk but there is no way I want this guy sleeping at my house on a regular basis! Im feeling that if I leave DHs booze alone (not mix with water) that DH will be getting drunk faster and there won...	Barbara	5	529	Nov 2, 2005 by rosie light shines
	"Getting Them Sober - you can help!" (Preview) Who has read this book? What did you think? I received it today from the library. Seems like an easy read - hoping it helps. Also received "The Courage to Change" but I think that will be harder to get through.	Barbara	10	1694	Nov 2, 2005 by Diane43
	honesty or sympathy???? (Preview) *Honesty is stronger medicine than sympathy, which may console but often conceals. --Gretel Ehrlich* We owe our brothers and sisters in this program our honest feedback. And we need the same honesty from them. There are times in meetings when it would be easiest to give someone sympathy and priva...	rosie light shines	1	1560	Nov 2, 2005 by megan
	manipulation at its worst (Preview) My hubby out of the blue Saturday Morning stated that his needs that I did not meet were being satisfied by some one no names mentioned. I was stunned!!! I didn't react just turned arround and continued on with what I was doing. I didn't really have much time to think about it until late Sund...	jj	7	616	Nov 2, 2005 by TLC2
	Ugh! ESH cannot figure out chatroom. Bleh! (Preview) OK, while trying to figure out how to login to the meeting in progress, I probably disturbed those in the morning "meeting room" today... if so, I apologize. I cannot figure out for the life of me how to log on as ESH. The danged thing keeps telling me that I am giving an erroneous, command or...	ESH	6	558	Nov 2, 2005 by shimo
	Stuck in Reverse (Preview) So I wonder, am I the only person out there that is not greatful for what they have? I am so busy trying to be the ring leader and the person who has to have it her way. That I am not satisfied with what I have and am always looking in the windows of everyone else thinking I want what they have.&nbs...	sunny1	3	506	Nov 2, 2005 by Satori
	more of my pathetic poems (Preview) What is wrong with the world? There is violence in the world People shooting each other, Parents beating their kids Prostitutes standing at the corner Children having no one to turn to The world is going insane Kids now have to deal with the world and...	Lauren ashley	5	1913	Nov 2, 2005 by kitty
	allowing myself to give to to anger. (Preview) So, I didn't even make it 24 hours. Gave in to my anger and called my A to pick a fight aboutthe bills. Why? I don't know. Because I sometimes can't help myself in giving in to the anger. It's not the bills I'm angry about. It's his relapse and my lack of control over his addiction. But any excuse to arg...	Kim	2	677	Nov 2, 2005 by Diane43
	Faced with kicking son out (Preview) Hello - I have a 20 yr. old son who is an alcoholic. He's been using/drinking since he was about 15 & I fear at this rate he does not have many years left. It's a long story & one you've probably heard many times before...but suffice it to say that nothing, not Rehab/AA/NA/etc...	mxxmom	12	812	Nov 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	I think my marriage is over II (Preview) Hello My Dear And Very Much Loved Friends, Well I am still not sure what is going on as for my marriage. He came home, but isn't really speaking to me. He is also sleeping on the couch. It is hard to know if there isn't any communication. I am just going to wait until he is ready. That is all I can do. Well, tha...	Dolphin123	4	873	Nov 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	he is getting better :) but i am going nuts:( (Preview) well my a is doing so well he is going to work every day ,going to his meetings and going home every night. i was going to surprise him and meet him for lunch but he asked me to come & i told him i was going to surprise you and he was so happy. last week he bought an air mattress an...	chrissy	6	619	Nov 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	When You Give Up Your Boundaries (Preview) Today was my counseling session, and my therapist gave me some paperwork on setting boundaries. Ouch, that hurt! I realized in reading thru the list that I have let a LOT of these things go down in my life. And as "Canadianguy" pointed out in reply to my last post, my A hasn't r...	Ratchie	5	474	Nov 2, 2005 by WakingUp
	Awesome Book on 12 Steps (Preview) Hi everyone! Sometimes I have difficulty comprehending the 12 steps, so this evening I bought a book by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. called "Waking Up Just In Time". It has Charlie Brown on the front cover. I am reading Step 2 and read something that really hit me over the head. It said that some people...	kissers	3	495	Nov 2, 2005 by brakkenk
	Financial deceit (Preview) Hello roomies As some of you know I am going through a divorce. I am married for 14 years to an alcoholic. The last 3 when he did not work, drank 24/7 and was emotionally abusive and controlling SHEER HELL Yesterday I paid bills. I realized I had only a few checks left. I calle...	megan	13	752	Nov 2, 2005 by dogscribe
	Nov Business Mtg (Preview) Come one come all...Tonight is the monthly business meeting for MIP Al-anon group. Time: 6:00pm Central time (I leave you to do the conversion to your applicable time zone ) Place: The Chat Room Attire: Casual Hope to see you there.....! David:smil...	david62	1	444	Nov 2, 2005 by megan
	opportunity for growth (Preview) Yeah, (rosie) I know saying "never" or "always" are a little crazy. I would love to find someone special to share myself with. Ppl just seem to change when they get married to each other - it's bizarre. I would love to think it is a possibility (marriage), someday, who knows. ...	kitty	4	477	Nov 2, 2005 by leo
	New here and to Alanon (Preview) Hi, I am new here and to Alanon. I am 52 years old and about 5 months into a new relationship with a man who I have known since I was 15. We lost touch with each other when we were 18 and about 3 years ago started emailing each other and talking on the phone. Even though I grew up in a...	Layla	5	736	Nov 2, 2005 by leo
	I live in my own dark little world.... with no light around me (Preview) ummmm i feel soo lost and alone... I feel as if I am just one person in the huge world. All I see is a dark tunnel, and no light shining through. I know I am alive on the outside because I am breathing, but my inside is dead..... My Own Life Living a lie is how I live Trust no one...	Lauren ashley	3	728	Nov 2, 2005 by leo
	does life need to get worse before it gets better? (Preview) As Ive said before Ive been pouring out DHs vodka for about 10yrs now and replacing it with water. Ive been told not to do this. However, Im afraid of what he'll be like if I dont! He does appear to get drunker when the vodka isnt diluted. But maybe this is how he needs to be to realize he needs to get better?...	Barbara	5	532	Nov 2, 2005 by Satori
	Survived Wilma...and then some. (Preview) I spent a tremendous amount of downtime given to me by a lack of electricity for days from Hurricane Wilma to work Step One, Step Two, Step Three, and Step Four on something that started off quite simply with something I said to myself during the hurricane. As some of you know, I am a storm tracke...	Satori	2	805	Nov 2, 2005 by jj
	the "experiment" (Preview) Hi all- Just bouncing some more thoughts out here for you to give me your 2cents on. I am so happy to have you people in my life to air this stuff out with. As I ranted yesterday, my A husband has been lying to me about use of pot again..(what else is new) We have been in marriage counseling for the pas...	gknee	4	1021	Nov 1, 2005 by UncleLou
	Go The Diva (Preview) Hi everyone update on the Melbourne Cup horse race in Australia. Makybe Diva did it again 3 years in a row. She is just a beautiful horse and the nation has fallen in love with her. Just as we have our Diva on the board who is made of inner strength so too is this horse. Sorry for th...	leo	2	664	Nov 1, 2005 by Karilynn
	angry about the past (Preview) today i am very angry. my a brought to my attention that when he went out a week ago he went into his savings and speant all the car insurance money for this months payment. so he went to his grandmother who is the most loving christian i have ever met. so basically she is paying for his crack habit. he admitt...	notsonew1111	1	483	Nov 1, 2005 by Maria123
	stop expecting?? (Preview) this is just a continued rant from my last post. Abbyral made a great comment--stop expecting and start accepting. I CAN"T. I just cannot accept the idea that this is a hopeless situation. I have seen improvements--in both him and myself and our family dynamics. but I'd be lying if I said that i don't ex...	gknee	7	921	Nov 1, 2005 by nancyfrances
	Groundhog Day (Preview) Has anyone seen that movie? Bill Murray reliving the same day over and over. This is how I feel. I just keep going back to the same day. Here I am October 31st and I might as well go back to August 15th...September 12th (my A's last two relapses). Back to the scene of the crime. Back to the "no call rule".&nbs...	Kim	6	794	Nov 1, 2005 by gknee
	hey people :( (Preview) Once again, I am feeling like crap. Today someone asked me what my biggest fear was, and it really made me think. I would have to say that my biggest fear is being like my mother. Isnt that horrible? Everyday I live life just worrieng if I am going to be like her. If I am going to make the same mistakes tha...	princess433	8	814	Nov 1, 2005 by pixel04
	On Trust (Preview) I was listening to an excerpt from a speaker tape on relationships, and the speaker was speaking of that question "how do I trust them?" What this speaker said really hit me. He started off by saying, you just do it. Then he started expanding... he spoke of those who get suspicious a...	kismetstrand	6	777	Nov 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I am angry and feeling used (Preview) Hello all: Yesterday: sad. Today: angry. I love the bevy of emotions I can feel in a matter of hours. Yesterday, after much conversation about my husband's recent relapse, many tears from him (a first) on how he "can't get it" and me trying to stay "together" and non-reactive, I finally just d...	Kim	5	851	Nov 1, 2005 by KathyS
	New here (Preview) Hi all, Nice to have a place like this to turn to. I have been married 18 yrs. I have drank my share in times passed,but not anymore. I live with an alcoholic who doesn't want to get sober. I am 43 yrs. old and have already had cancer. I want to keep healthy so it never returns. My body is...	bdswamp	4	762	Nov 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	STARTING TODAY...... (Preview) "One day at a time"--------- Alcoholics who have found AA are constantly reminded that they need only to stay sober "one day at a time". Today, for them as far for us, is the key word. The ancient Persian poet Omar says " Unborn tomorrow and dead Yesterday, Why fret about them if today be s...	gardengal	5	778	Nov 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	food AINT love!!!! (Preview) Food Is Not Love With our heads, we know that food is not the same thing as love. When this fact sinks into our emotions, we are released from our obsession with food. In order to reach this point of emotional development, we need to abstain physically from compulsive overeating. As long as we are ph...	rosie light shines	0	635	Nov 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Beginning Today (Preview) I got this in an email and it really hit home on how I need to feel about myself. I wanted to share it with ya'll and hope the words help lift you up like they did me. FOTB BEGINNING TODAY I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. On...	FreeOfTheBottle	5	474	Nov 1, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Soo Proud of My Lantern (Preview) Check out my pumpkin I carved all by myself. I rock!!!	Picowitch	7	564	Nov 1, 2005 by flumpy
	Trust is so difficult for me (Preview) Hi, Good morning everyone and Happy Halloween! I have been attending al anon meetings both online and face to face. I have this issue of not trusting this man I have been seeing. He is an active drinker and I wonder at times if he is truthful with me. He told me the other day a wom...	Diane43	4	480	Nov 1, 2005 by Diane43
	I am still on step one (Preview) I am still on step one. I was asking him if he was staying home today not like last night where he took off. I don't know why I do it however I do it. I am working a little at a time on detachment. Like I went a while today without calling him. If he does leave tonight I will try my hardest not to call him. Or a...	nycbt	8	806	Nov 1, 2005 by gardengal
	after he told me to call when I was ready..he calls. (Preview) God, it's so predictable. Just when I am fighting with myself not to call....after he tells me to call when i'm ready, he just couldn't take it and he called. Twice. The third time I picked up the phone. I had to ask, "why..why are you calling me, please respect the boundary of giving me some space....	Kim	6	707	Nov 1, 2005 by UncleLou
	Questions for all of you (Preview) Hi Everybody- Been busy making Halloween costumes and working--not reading and posting as much as I'd like. My questions for all of you for today-- How do you handle lying? I told my A that honesty was my only real boundary. If he uses, he uses--that is his choice BUT don't sneak and lie and pl...	gknee	12	880	Nov 1, 2005 by kitty
	I am manipulative (Preview) I have been reading posts and talking and doing so much thinking. As always the thinking makes me ask more questions. Did I seperate from my husband in an attempt to get him to stop drinking? In all honesty yes. I love him so much and do not want to end my marriage. I have tried accepting it, and livin...	Jeannie	7	685	Oct 31, 2005 by canadianguy
	Month 1 (Preview) Hi friends, October is at its end... I survived month one without A in house! But there has been so much emotion, so much happening that I have mixed emotions. I had hoped that by now there would be some progress on his part. But I think that rather than him realizing he's los...	Ratchie	8	558	Oct 31, 2005 by canadianguy
	I think my marriage is over! (Preview) Hello Roomies, I am getting tired of weekends, I do so much better during the week, but the weekends are horrible. I went to an alanon function on financies. It is not CAL approved, but it was how the steps, traditions, concepts, and warranties can be worked into the personal financial world. It wa...	Dolphin123	10	762	Oct 31, 2005 by canadianguy
	Monday (Preview) Good Morning! It's Monday and I am just having a hard time focusing on work...LOL I am alone in the office until close to 5pm which makes it really hard, phones are quiet and it's dark, cloudy, and cold outside. Wishing I was up in my bed watching talk shows..... I got caught up on the pos...	marmare	5	721	Oct 31, 2005 by canadianguy
	it HAS to be God..who else?? (Preview) Our Relationship With A Higher Power "Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves."Basic Text, p.96Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous gives us a fresh start in life and some guidan...	rosie light shines	2	750	Oct 31, 2005 by kitty
	It is so good to be back :) (Preview) I am back at my lifeline support group where I belong :) The tears were so healing but I am exhausted. I want to say that I still miss dadrrb and he is in my heart with rememberances of all the good he did in this site. God Bless you dadrrb. I made an impulsive decision to go see my mom and dad tomorrow. My mom cal...	cdb	12	982	Oct 31, 2005 by bubbles1990
	HAPPY HALLOWEEN! (Preview) Hi roomies! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! May the Great Pumpkin rise out the pumpkin patch and bring you lots of goodies. Have a wonderful day with the children and passing out candy and just having fun. Be careful and safe tonight. The World War I Flying Ace will be protecting you. (I've never figure...	Karilynn	12	881	Oct 31, 2005 by Picowitch
	I'm out (Preview) Just wanted to tell you all that I moved out on the 27th. All is well so far. I've yet to answer any of his phone calls. There's not much to say any more. I talked with his Mom today and she wants to support me as much as she can, she's always been in my court. Her husband (my A's Dad) was also an alcoholic....	whitie	8	793	Oct 31, 2005 by rosie light shines
	to thine own self be true (Preview) I am laying low but want you to all know I have sensed your prayers & appreciate it & love you all. THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH. Last week was a real test but I seem to have passed ok. I finally cd, to give info as it appears my ex is being watched - I was grateful to find out he is still...	kitty	6	766	Oct 31, 2005 by rosie light shines
	IT HAPPEN AGAIN (Preview) Like people say you can't make someone it just doesn't work. Well On Thursday he went to a meeting. Didn't go all weekend. Said his sponosr doesn't want to go out on the weekend. I don't know if that is true or not. But yesterday I went with my guy friend to AC in NJ and he doesn't really trust this guy. But I di...	nycbt	3	676	Oct 31, 2005 by bd
	todays gift (Preview) Today's thought is: *To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration. --Anonymous* Life is what it is. It seldom matches our hopes and dreams, but it never fails to be exactly what we need. We are shortsighted, really. Reflections on the past can enlighten u...	notsonew1111	3	536	Oct 31, 2005 by Karilynn
	Awareness (Preview) I have reflected a lot about my past and have found that I do NOT listen to my inner voice when I should. My family taught me not to listen to my inner voice because my thoughts, feelings, and intuition were wrong. They distorted the truth to cover their guilt. My father (the A) always taught me to NEVER be d...	kissers	3	449	Oct 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Please help, I'm so sad (Preview) Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, I have been isolating myself again to some degree and have not been able to do what I need. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling as if something was not right and was fighting it. My A and I have been talking and seeing each other frequently and the past cou...	Kim	7	514	Oct 31, 2005 by marmare
	reaction/non reaction (Preview) Hi just need a little feedback here guys. I went to a counsellor on Monday D/A had a good talk about what boundaries to put in place with my A etc. As yet I haven't been able to do that because the kids have been around or he is at work. He runs his own business and at the moment is working seven day...	leo	6	659	Oct 31, 2005 by marmare
	Self Induced Misery, Rationalization, and Emotional Hangovers (Preview) Today I was reading the story ‘Even a therapist can be affected by alcoholism’ in the book How Al-anon Works and something struck me. In the story, the woman in the program realized that her husband needed “to experience the consequences of his behavior and feel his own discomfort.” She then says “I...	UncleLou	8	959	Oct 31, 2005 by marmare
	Wheeee! I have arrived! (Preview) I am so happy to have found this place! I just found the chatroom tonight & participated in my first online meeting ever. I am looking forward to sharing & getting to know all of you!! I found out about "online Al-Anon Meetings" from the suggestion of my bf (my A). I wo...	ESH	12	699	Oct 31, 2005 by marmare
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.