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manipulation at its worst
(Preview)
My hubby out of the blue Saturday Morning stated that his needs that I did not meet were being satisfied by some one no names mentioned. I was stunned!!! I didn't react just turned arround and continued on with what I was doing. I didn't really have much time to think about it until late Sund...
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jj
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7
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598
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Ugh! ESH cannot figure out chatroom. Bleh!
(Preview)
OK, while trying to figure out how to login to the meeting in progress, I probably disturbed those in the morning "meeting room" today... if so, I apologize. I cannot figure out for the life of me how to log on as ESH. The danged thing keeps telling me that I am giving an erroneous, command or...
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ESH
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6
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538
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Stuck in Reverse
(Preview)
So I wonder, am I the only person out there that is not greatful for what they have? I am so busy trying to be the ring leader and the person who has to have it her way. That I am not satisfied with what I have and am always looking in the windows of everyone else thinking I want what they have.&nbs...
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sunny1
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3
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488
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more of my pathetic poems
(Preview)
What is wrong with the world?
There is violence in the world
People shooting each other, Parents beating their kids
Prostitutes standing at the corner
Children having no one to turn to
The world is going insane
Kids now have to deal with the world and...
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Lauren ashley
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5
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1879
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allowing myself to give to to anger.
(Preview)
So, I didn't even make it 24 hours. Gave in to my anger and called my A to pick a fight aboutthe bills. Why? I don't know. Because I sometimes can't help myself in giving in to the anger. It's not the bills I'm angry about. It's his relapse and my lack of control over his addiction. But any excuse to arg...
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Kim
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2
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657
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Faced with kicking son out
(Preview)
Hello - I have a 20 yr. old son who is an alcoholic. He's been using/drinking since he was about 15 & I fear at this rate he does not have many years left. It's a long story & one you've probably heard many times before...but suffice it to say that nothing, not Rehab/AA/NA/etc...
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mxxmom
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12
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789
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I think my marriage is over II
(Preview)
Hello My Dear And Very Much Loved Friends,
Well I am still not sure what is going on as for my marriage. He came home, but isn't really speaking to me. He is also sleeping on the couch. It is hard to know if there isn't any communication. I am just going to wait until he is ready. That is all I can do. Well, tha...
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Dolphin123
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4
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855
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he is getting better :) but i am going nuts:(
(Preview)
well my a is doing so well  he is going to work every day ,going to his meetings and going home every night. i was going to surprise him and meet him for lunch but he asked me to come & i told him i was going to surprise you and he was so happy. last week he bought an air mattress an...
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chrissy
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6
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599
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When You Give Up Your Boundaries
(Preview)
Today was my counseling session, and my therapist gave me some paperwork on setting boundaries. Ouch, that hurt! I realized in reading thru the list that I have let a LOT of these things go down in my life. And as "Canadianguy" pointed out in reply to my last post, my A hasn't r...
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Ratchie
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5
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457
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Awesome Book on 12 Steps
(Preview)
Hi everyone!
Sometimes I have difficulty comprehending the 12 steps, so this evening I bought a book by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. called "Waking Up Just In Time". It has Charlie Brown on the front cover. I am reading Step 2 and read something that really hit me over the head. It said that some people...
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kissers
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3
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476
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Financial deceit
(Preview)
Hello roomies
As some of you know I am going through a divorce.
I am married for 14 years to an alcoholic.
The last 3 when he did not work, drank 24/7 and was emotionally abusive and controlling SHEER HELL
Yesterday I paid bills. I realized I had only a few checks left.
I calle...
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megan
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13
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730
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Nov Business Mtg
(Preview)
Come one come all...Tonight is the monthly business meeting for MIP Al-anon group.
Time: 6:00pm Central time (I leave you to do the conversion to your applicable time zone  )
Place: The Chat Room
Attire: Casual
Hope to see you there.....!
David:smil...
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david62
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1
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424
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opportunity for growth
(Preview)
Yeah, (rosie) I know saying "never" or "always" are a little crazy. I would love to find someone *special* to share myself with. Ppl just seem to change when they get married to each other - it's bizarre.
I would love to think it is a possibility (marriage), someday, who knows.
...
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kitty
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4
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459
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New here and to Alanon
(Preview)
Hi,
I am new here and to Alanon. I am 52 years old and about 5 months into a new relationship with a man who I have known since I was 15. We lost touch with each other when we were 18 and about 3 years ago started emailing each other and talking on the phone. Even though I grew up in a...
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Layla
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5
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716
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I live in my own dark little world.... with no light around me
(Preview)
ummmm i feel soo lost and alone... I feel as if I am just one person in the huge world. All I see is a dark tunnel, and no light shining through. I know I am alive on the outside because I am breathing, but my inside is dead.....
My Own Life
Living a lie is how I live
Trust no one...
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Lauren ashley
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3
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708
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does life need to get worse before it gets better?
(Preview)
As Ive said before Ive been pouring out DHs vodka for about 10yrs now and replacing it with water. Ive been told not to do this.
However, Im afraid of what he'll be like if I dont! He does appear to get drunker when the vodka isnt diluted. But maybe this is how he needs to be to realize he needs to get better?...
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Barbara
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5
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516
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Survived Wilma...and then some.
(Preview)
I spent a tremendous amount of downtime given to me by a lack of electricity for days from Hurricane Wilma to work Step One, Step Two, Step Three, and Step Four on something that started off quite simply with something I said to myself during the hurricane.
As some of you know, I am a storm tracke...
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Satori
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2
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784
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the "experiment"
(Preview)
Hi all-
Just bouncing some more thoughts out here for you to give me your 2cents on.
I am so happy to have you people in my life to air this stuff out with.
As I ranted yesterday, my A husband has been lying to me about use of pot again..(what else is new) We have been in marriage counseling for the pas...
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gknee
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4
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991
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Go The Diva
(Preview)
Hi everyone update on the Melbourne Cup horse race in Australia. Makybe Diva did it again 3 years in a row. She is just a beautiful horse and the nation has fallen in love with her. Just as we have our Diva on the board who is made of inner strength so too is this horse. Sorry for th...
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leo
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2
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645
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angry about the past
(Preview)
today i am very angry. my a brought to my attention that when he went out a week ago he went into his savings and speant all the car insurance money for this months payment. so he went to his grandmother who is the most loving christian i have ever met. so basically she is paying for his crack habit. he admitt...
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notsonew1111
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1
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464
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stop expecting??
(Preview)
this is just a continued rant from my last post. Abbyral made a great comment--stop expecting and start accepting. I CAN"T. I just cannot accept the idea that this is a hopeless situation. I have seen improvements--in both him and myself and our family dynamics. but I'd be lying if I said that i don't ex...
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gknee
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7
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900
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Groundhog Day
(Preview)
Has anyone seen that movie? Bill Murray reliving the same day over and over. This is how I feel. I just keep going back to the same day. Here I am October 31st and I might as well go back to August 15th...September 12th (my A's last two relapses). Back to the scene of the crime. Back to the "no call rule".&nbs...
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Kim
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6
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774
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hey people :(
(Preview)
Once again, I am feeling like crap.
Today someone asked me what my biggest fear was, and it really made me think. I would have to say that my biggest fear is being like my mother. Isnt that horrible?
Everyday I live life just worrieng if I am going to be like her. If I am going to make the same mistakes tha...
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princess433
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8
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793
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On Trust
(Preview)
I was listening to an excerpt from a speaker tape on relationships, and the speaker was speaking of that question "how do I trust them?" What this speaker said really hit me. He started off by saying, you just do it. Then he started expanding... he spoke of those who get suspicious a...
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kismetstrand
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6
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758
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I am angry and feeling used
(Preview)
Hello all:
Yesterday: sad. Today: angry. I love the bevy of emotions I can feel in a matter of hours. Yesterday, after much conversation about my husband's recent relapse, many tears from him (a first) on how he "can't get it" and me trying to stay "together" and non-reactive, I finally just d...
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Kim
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5
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830
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New here
(Preview)
Hi all,
Nice to have a place like this to turn to. I have been married 18 yrs. I have drank my share in times passed,but not anymore. I live with an alcoholic who doesn't want to get sober. I am 43 yrs. old and have already had cancer. I want to keep healthy so it never returns. My body is...
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bdswamp
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4
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745
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STARTING TODAY......
(Preview)
"One day at a time"--------- Alcoholics who have found AA are constantly reminded that they need only to stay sober "one day at a time". Today, for them as far for us, is the key word.
The ancient Persian poet Omar says " Unborn tomorrow and dead Yesterday, Why fret about them if today be s...
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gardengal
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5
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758
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food AINT love!!!!
(Preview)
Food Is Not Love
With our heads, we know that food is not the same thing as love. When this fact sinks into our emotions, we are released from our obsession with food. In order to reach this point of emotional development, we need to abstain physically from compulsive overeating. As long as we are ph...
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rosie light shines
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0
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617
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Beginning Today
(Preview)
I got this in an email and it really hit home on how I need to feel about myself. I wanted to share it with ya'll and hope the words help lift you up like they did me.
FOTB
BEGINNING TODAY
I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. On...
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FreeOfTheBottle
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5
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453
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Soo Proud of My Lantern
(Preview)
Check out my pumpkin I carved all by myself. I rock!!!
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Picowitch
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7
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545
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Trust is so difficult for me
(Preview)
Hi, Good morning everyone and Happy Halloween! I have been attending al anon meetings both online and face to face. I have this issue of not trusting this man I have been seeing. He is an active drinker and I wonder at times if he is truthful with me. He told me the other day a wom...
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Diane43
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4
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461
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I am still on step one
(Preview)
I am still on step one. I was asking him if he was staying home today not like last night where he took off. I don't know why I do it however I do it. I am working a little at a time on detachment. Like I went a while today without calling him. If he does leave tonight I will try my hardest not to call him. Or a...
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nycbt
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8
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787
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after he told me to call when I was ready..he calls.
(Preview)
God, it's so predictable. Just when I am fighting with myself not to call....after he tells me to call when i'm ready, he just couldn't take it and he called. Twice. The third time I picked up the phone. I had to ask, "why..why are you calling me, please respect the boundary of giving me some space....
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Kim
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6
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689
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Questions for all of you
(Preview)
Hi Everybody-
Been busy making Halloween costumes and working--not reading and posting as much as I'd like.
My questions for all of you for today--
How do you handle lying? I told my A that honesty was my only real boundary. If he uses, he uses--that is his choice BUT don't sneak and lie and pl...
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gknee
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12
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859
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I am manipulative
(Preview)
I have been reading posts and talking and doing so much thinking.
As always the thinking makes me ask more questions.
Did I seperate from my husband in an attempt to get him to stop drinking? In all honesty yes.
I love him so much and do not want to end my marriage. I have tried accepting it, and livin...
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Jeannie
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7
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664
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Month 1
(Preview)
Hi friends,
October is at its end... I survived month one without A in house! But there has been so much emotion, so much happening that I have mixed emotions. I had hoped that by now there would be some progress on his part. But I think that rather than him realizing he's los...
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Ratchie
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8
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542
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I think my marriage is over!
(Preview)
Hello Roomies,
I am getting tired of weekends, I do so much better during the week, but the weekends are horrible.
I went to an alanon function on financies. It is not CAL approved, but it was how the steps, traditions, concepts, and warranties can be worked into the personal financial world. It wa...
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Dolphin123
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10
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746
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Monday
(Preview)
Good Morning!
It's Monday and I am just having a hard time focusing on work...LOL I am alone in the office until close to 5pm which makes it really hard, phones are quiet and it's dark, cloudy, and cold outside. Wishing I was up in my bed watching talk shows.....
I got caught up on the pos...
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marmare
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5
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704
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it HAS to be God..who else??
(Preview)
Our Relationship With A Higher Power
"Ongoing recovery is dependent on our relationship with a loving God who cares for us and will do for us what we find impossible to do for ourselves."Basic Text, p.96Working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous gives us a fresh start in life and some guidan...
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rosie light shines
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2
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732
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It is so good to be back :)
(Preview)
I am back at my lifeline support group where I belong :) The tears were so healing but I am exhausted. I want to say that I still miss dadrrb and he is in my heart with rememberances of all the good he did in this site. God Bless you dadrrb. I made an impulsive decision to go see my mom and dad tomorrow. My mom cal...
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cdb
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12
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964
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
(Preview)
Hi roomies!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
May the Great Pumpkin rise out the pumpkin patch and bring you lots of goodies. Have a wonderful day with the children and passing out candy and just having fun.
Be careful and safe tonight. The World War I Flying Ace will be protecting you. (I've never figure...
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Karilynn
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12
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860
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I'm out
(Preview)
Just wanted to tell you all that I moved out on the 27th. All is well so far. I've yet to answer any of his phone calls. There's not much to say any more. I talked with his Mom today and she wants to support me as much as she can, she's always been in my court. Her husband (my A's Dad) was also an alcoholic....
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whitie
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8
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776
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to thine own self be true
(Preview)
I am laying low but want you to all know I have sensed your prayers & appreciate it & love you all. THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH. Last week was a *real* test but I seem to have passed ok. I finally cd, to give info as it appears my ex is being watched - I was grateful to find out he is still...
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kitty
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6
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748
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IT HAPPEN AGAIN
(Preview)
Like people say you can't make someone it just doesn't work. Well On Thursday he went to a meeting. Didn't go all weekend. Said his sponosr doesn't want to go out on the weekend. I don't know if that is true or not. But yesterday I went with my guy friend to AC in NJ and he doesn't really trust this guy. But I di...
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nycbt
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3
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658
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todays gift
(Preview)
Today's thought is:
To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration. --Anonymous
Life is what it is. It seldom matches our hopes and dreams, but it never fails to be exactly what we need. We are shortsighted, really. Reflections on the past can enlighten u...
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notsonew1111
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3
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519
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Awareness
(Preview)
I have reflected a lot about my past and have found that I do NOT listen to my inner voice when I should. My family taught me not to listen to my inner voice because my thoughts, feelings, and intuition were wrong. They distorted the truth to cover their guilt. My father (the A) always taught me to NEVER be d...
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kissers
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3
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430
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Please help, I'm so sad
(Preview)
Hello all.
I haven't posted in a while, I have been isolating myself again to some degree and have not been able to do what I need. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling as if something was not right and was fighting it. My A and I have been talking and seeing each other frequently and the past cou...
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Kim
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7
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495
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reaction/non reaction
(Preview)
Hi just need a little feedback here guys. I went to a counsellor on Monday D/A had a good talk about what boundaries to put in place with my A etc. As yet I haven't been able to do that because the kids have been around or he is at work. He runs his own business and at the moment is working seven day...
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leo
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6
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638
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Self Induced Misery, Rationalization, and Emotional Hangovers
(Preview)
Today I was reading the story ‘Even a therapist can be affected by alcoholism’ in the book How Al-anon Works and something struck me. In the story, the woman in the program realized that her husband needed “to experience the consequences of his behavior and feel his own discomfort.” She then says “I...
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UncleLou
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8
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935
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Wheeee! I have arrived!
(Preview)
I am so happy to have found this place! I just found the chatroom tonight & participated in my first online meeting ever. I am looking forward to sharing & getting to know all of you!! I found out about "online Al-Anon Meetings" from the suggestion of my bf (my A). I wo...
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ESH
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12
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678
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acting AS IF!!!
(Preview)
All Our Needs
And my God shall supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory... --Phil. 4:19
This verse has helped me many times. It has helped me when I have wondered where my next friend bit of wisdom, insight, or meal was coming from.Everything I need today shall be supplied to m...
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rosie light shines
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0
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623
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for diva
(Preview)
Hi everyone just wanted to let you know that in Australia tomorrow we have a race called THE MELBOURNE CUP. It is a horse race that is only run once a year and horses from all over the world come to race for the $5 million prize money and the prestige of winning the cup. Everyone in Austr...
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leo
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3
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643
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Spent a weekend with ex
(Preview)
I knew it was a bad idea. I was lonely and my plans fell through for the weekend. I invited my Ex up to see me and with record speed, he came. He looked good and we spent the weekend together. Everything was fine and I was starting to feel warm and cozy toward him and then it was time...
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Powerless
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6
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841
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Question
(Preview)
Am I allowed to share a pic of my A?
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Cathy
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8
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815
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Update on Danielle...
(Preview)
I posted an update on Danielle, the friend of my daughter, who was in a severe car accident. It's under the "another prayer request" post from a few days ago.
Thanks for your prayers...
Kathi
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lmt123
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1
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568
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accenting on the present
(Preview)
Accent on the Present
When we were obsessed with food, we were often obsessed with the past as well. We would rehash old hurts and resentments, old fears and desires. Our dreams, along with our waking hours, may have been filled with people from our past. Such preoccupation with the past prevente...
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rosie light shines
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1
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669
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Three Members Blocked
(Preview)
Three members have now been blocked from posting, due to their unwillingness to take their personal fight away from this board.
I have e-mailed John privately to explain.
I am but a simple moderator, and have NO stake in this, nor any opinion on who is right, or who did what to whom.
This bo...
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canadianguy
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12
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1306
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To all of you
(Preview)
I'm fairly new here but not new to the life. I've been with my A for over 3 years so I know how they think and how they work. Anyway, I've been reading the posts and honestly I don't know how to respond. I know some of you have been on this journey longer than me and still struggle. I mainly just want to say that i...
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Cathy
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5
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591
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self value
(Preview)
Self Value
We have a real life of our own. Yes, we do.That empty feeling, that senses that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate.We are real. So is our life. Jump into it, and we...
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rosie light shines
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3
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406
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i had a good day
(Preview)
hi guys,
i had a really nice day with my hubby he has been doing great! i am go proud of him.
i just want him home i miss him. he wants us to move out of our appartment. he said it doesn't feel like home any more , but i can't move my daughter is doing so good in school . she is on kickline ,cheerleading &a...
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chrissy
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5
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933
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