Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday I took care of my money needs. Because of my husband asking me for money I put the money in a CD for 6 months so it can't be touch. While it is sitting there it might as well collect more interst then it does in the saving account. Well when I got home I placed the envoople of the cd on the bed he picked i...

jaja · jaja

I never knew this place existed and am very happy at having found it! Many years ago I went to Al-Anon for about 2 years as both my Mom and husband were active alcoholics. I found the rooms to be a sort of haven for me and I felt good that I was finally doing something to try and understand...

megan · megan

Hello from the Yosemite,Ca AA/Alanon Summit Conference There is a program of Alanon meetings, AA meetings, Alanon speakers and AA Speakers. This is all set among great natural splendor. Here are some pictures: Maria, David, Megan by Bridalveilfalls, Ha...

Barbara · Barbara

on a Sat morn so not going out at night is a big plus after working fulltime during the weekdays larger meeting actually broke down to 3 separate meetings - 1) topic was Thankfulness 2) begineers and 3) step 8 well I knew I was nowhere near step 8! Ive heard that begineers should attend 6 begineer me...

nmike · nmike

So he said I'll come so we can talk and I can help you out since this separation is hard on you. I said go see your mother and then come by. I told him Saturday I was going to town to get Thanksgiving groceries, go an Alanon meeting, and see my mother. So he stayed in my/our house and I drove 2 hours to my meeting....

Rebecca · Rebecca

how come life is sooooo complicated. its never like that in fairy tales. when i was growing up, i had this rose tinted view of thw world. you grow up, find a guy, fall in love and live happily ever after... how wrong i was. im going to see my "A" 2moro in rehab... 4th sunday running. we spoke on the phone last n...

chrissy · chrissy

after work my husband came over and amanda was at a sleep over so we had a sleep over too lol. we decided that we are going to put our marriage first. and he even gave me money for the bills and rent my brother and the best part it was friday !! i will write more later i know i have a long road a...

Evilynn · Evilynn

I asked him last night if he wanted to break up with me based on him never returning my calls, sleeping on the couch and lack of ANY intimacy. He said to me ''Are we dating?" Then heproceeded to try to make me feel guilty for hanging out with my friends who don't like him. He was sleeping, he is always sleepin...

browneyes · browneyes

Hello everyone First of all, thanks for your support on my last posting. It helps so much! So my husband went to the PO and he sent him to an outpatient program for 10-20 days. He goes M-F 8:00 am-2:30 pm. He came home crying about how am I going to work to support my family? You sh...

Barbara · Barbara

I think after 6wks Ive finally designed a "program" for myself that I believe I can work. Physically - I joined Curves, Mentally - I found a Sat morn AlAnon group and Spiritually - Ive joined a new Church

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi all... This is an update on Danielle, the friend of my daughter who was seriously injured in an auto accident a few weeks back. She is still unconscious, has had plastic surgery on her face to fix broken bones, and is responding to being pinched, or having her nose wiped, etc. But the d...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, What a weird day. When I got the mail this afternoon, there was something from unemployment for my husband. In case it was important I opened it. it seems after a claims investigator spoke with my husbands boss, they decided to reinstate his unemployment. The check is to follow and will be retroa...

Kim · Kim

OK. Phone call this morning at 7:00 am....pre-coffee experience. Not a good time for me to focus appropriately and detach. I am not the most pleasant person in the morning. It is my stepdaughter's mother on the phone. My A was supposed to see my stepdaughter today and she spoke wit...

browneyes · browneyes

Hello everyone Hope you are well... Just a quck question- This week I have been dealing with a lot of waiting to find out if my husband is going back to jail or not. And a lot of it has been due to him avoiding the Parole Officer and him telling me all about how he is going to fake the test and blah b...

bobump · bobump

Well today my a badgered my 13 yo daughter for money 6 times. The offers included I'll pay you back double, I'll let you hold my engagement ring so you know you can trust me, what can I buy you to get you to give me the money. When she held strong, in between the times the 13 oo refused, she asked me f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. --Minna Antrim It is not by chance but by design that the sorrows we experience throughout our lives are countered by equal servings of joy. One offsets the other. And we are strengthened by their combination.Our longing for only lif...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Accepting Our Feelings Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.We may deny that we feel fr...

cdb · cdb

Hello Friends, I was able to meet my recoverying alcoholic/drug addicted daughter today for dinner and it was a real blessing. The more I have stayed out of her issues, the closer we have gotten. She even shared with me about her meth usage which wasn't much (Thank God). She is able to talk so op...

chilley · chilley

Hi, I am new here. I really don't know where to begin. I believe my husband has a drinking problem but he refuses to acknowledge it. Back when we were just friends he used to drink excessively and pass out everytime we went out. It was a running joke to draw on him, etc. I d...

Kim · Kim

Last night my A called about 10 pm. He was wondering "what was going on with us" as he hadn't heard from me in a few days. I thought he was to call me last and I told him that, as well as that I assumed that he was doing things for him as was I. The conversation went well, for me...... he sounded terr...

flumpy · flumpy

Hi Mikeanon, If you are reading this I hope that you have chosen to post on here, it is a great place full of the most wonderfull people, some of whom don't use the chat room, so if you have I hope you find the strenth and encouragement that you need at this time in your life...We are all her to help eachothe...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, My husband had his evaluation today. I spoke to him this morning, he told me how worried he was. He said what about the bills? What if I get one of the jobs I applied for etc? Then he said we have another problem, the rehab is $200 a day co-pay and even if I go outpatient there is a co-p...

kitty · kitty

Ok, so my twenties were exciting & still seemed to drag at times. My thirties have flown by, I don't know what is happening to my life. I am so far behind... I loathe dealing with the mail, I must have a pile on my desk 2 yrs old w/ stuff that needs to be shredded. My ex def mad...

Satori · Satori

Okay, so as a video editor, amongst other fun things I get to do in my business, I was struck with this concept of God's Highway one night when my son was sick and having a hard time sleeping. Since I knew I was going to be awake pretty much all night with him I decided to do something not business relat...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

One comes in the end to realize that there is no permanent pure relationship and there should not be. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Whether we are teenagers in love for the first time, or parents who have been married for twenty years, relationships can turn into obsessions if we're not careful. We can...

captcodee · captcodee

I was abandoned by my mother before my first birthday. Since then, I have always wanted a big do on my birthday. Kind of a validation that people are glad that I am alive. Every year (before this one) I expected people to remember, and to make a big fuss. I was always dissappointed. I would ne...

hudsond · hudsond

School will be out in about 1 hour. Then it will be time for me to go home--as I fly down the road, telling myself to go slow my speed will not change anything--but who am I kidding I will still fly like bat--hoping above and beyond all hope to find my a at home. I wish the end of the day were right this i...

bobump · bobump

The ESH tonight made me thing of something today where I think of a situation where I really couldn't have handled it as well as (I think) I did. One of my a's rags was about when would I sleep in the the bed again. I was able to answer the question. Not so much to her satisfaction but to...

bobump · bobump

I'm a little torn on this. And that fact that I am speak volumes to how early I'm in my journey of recovery. The A called me today. She got a part time job. My first thought was ugh....well now she'll have plenty of money to drink. Another thought I had was, resentment based...

sallyb · sallyb

I'm sitting in the room with my a, he just came home from a several day business trip. He left the room, I thought I could smell it on him but I just wasn't sure. I walked to his drink, took a sniff and was still unsure. You ask, HOW? I still deny it sometimes. I took a swig, it...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - November 18 When I was eleven years old, my father was hospitalized. In an effort to protect me, I was told the *other* person in my father's room was very sick, not my father. Eventually I discovered what really happened. My father had suffered a heart attack. I f...

bobump · bobump

in many different regards. One of them is my A says I never talk to her about things. Her chief complaint at the momen is that I called her psychiatrist again. She wants to know why I do things behind her back. Honestly htere are a few reasons. It's my whole conflict avoidance thing. I know it's going t...

hudsond · hudsond

Today is his payday. He is getting his normal paycheck, plus a commission check. He told me a few days ago he would bring them to me after he got paid becasuse he can't trust himself with money right now. Well he hasn't been by. He was suppose to get my dad's truck detailed today...

shadow1 · shadow1

I feel like i'm living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My husband (my A) is a very loving caring person to me when he is not drinking. As soon as he starts drinking he turns on me. I can see the scowled look in his face and he won't talk to me. He goes out of his way to talk to the boys and totally ignores me. If...

For our New Members · KathyS

To all those who are new to this message board, I'd like to say Welcome! My name is Kathy and I've been a member of Al Anon for around three years now. A little background on how I found this meeting.... I had been doing everything I could possib...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Dads Poem Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew jus...

tobyo · tobyo

but not to al anon. I went to about 6 months worth of meetings oh, about 2 years ago. I don't do well talking in front of groups. but writing is a different story! a friend told me about this and well, here I am ;) I am planning to attend (hopefully) some of the morning meetings during the week. that i...

kitty · kitty

I was always encouraged to make things growing up. Three years ago I made a card for my "parents" (mother & her husband - the aalb). It was their 23rd Anniversary (last week they are at 26) - it was really special to me, I love the #23, here goes the card: Love is never ending infini...

Evilynn · Evilynn

My mother went on a drinking binge and told my father she wanted to go back home to Boston. He of course listened to her, when she was drunk and got her a plane ticket. He alerted her family, they changed their plans and their lives and then she changed her mind at the last minute. And why not, she made her dec...

Kim · Kim

Hey Roomies: Last night I started being a little "uncomfortable" with the fact that I haven't heard from my A since Sunday. Actaully as far as him contacting me it's been since Sat. I have to travel past the sober house in the morning to get to work, so I see he is there, but no call. This is new to me...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone and thank you so much for all of your supportive replies. as for the topic of boundaries/ consequences the boundary is already set he cant come home while drunk/high so he comes home early the next day. but he is usually still high. he handed all his bank and credit cards over to me so he wont ev...

sandie123 · sandie123

I got this today and thought it might help others as it did me. The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist; ours only is the present's tiny point. --Shabestari We are tempted to look back and to look ahead. But what we most need to do is be present in this moment, wit...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

well my a went to work today which is a huge surprise. he came home for lunch walked right up to me and was crying. he said im so sorry. i feel so bad. i need help and i will do it all on my own. i know you dont believe me. apparantly there was no coke being used last night because no one had money. dont know i...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hi Group, I posted yesterday asking about the affects of withdrawel that marijuana may have on someone. I got some good responses. Well, I got home yesterday and my "a" says, "Well, I won't be drug tested for another 4or5 weeks" So of course this gives him a reason to continue to u...

Barbara · Barbara

How many f2f meetings do you get to each week? Im trying a new place this Sat - find it difficult to get out during the week. I have both a teen and an A husband at home.

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Escape into Sleep After we stop eating compulsively, we may be tempted to use sleep as a form of escape. Though not as detrimental as excess food, too much sleep can also make us lethargic and dull. The danger lies in allowing ourselves to escape the realities of living, rather than coping with the...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Wisdom for Today When I first came into the program, I was overwhelmed by the thought of never drinking or using drugs again. The thoughts of "forever" seemed like too much to handle. Fortunately, I learned quickly that all I needed to do was stay focused on today. There was nothing I could do about al...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

kind of figured out a little bit about what im troubled with. im seeing my a is not suffering any consequences from his behavior lately. he knows im not leaving because its not what i truley want right now and im not ready. so please give me some suggestions on consequences i could give him that dont inclu...

bobump · bobump

We got on the top in my step meeting today about Trust. Someone mentioned that they trust everyone until they get burned and how this wasn't healthy. I was giving the acknowledging nod and chuckling thinking that is me. Trust, most definately an asset. Taken to an extreme it cou...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I always had you, but never acknowledged it I wanted someone to love me I wanted someone to care I never acknowledged that you God were always there I had something missing in my heart For my life was falling apart I thought you God had abandoned me For I was lost in the dark, and I c...

gardengal · gardengal

"Keep coming back" is a phrase we often hear in alanon.Why is it so important? Because many of us have grown hardened in our fights with alcoholics or flights from alcoholics that we basically found it difficult to sit still for the process of recovery. We had to have answers right away or take actions r...

Barbara · Barbara

In Aug husband had his left kidney removed. The cancer was malignent but encapsulated. (That wasnt enough to get him to quit drinking. He actually increased!) Today he's off to the thyroid doctor. They did the ultrasounds, ctscans, etc. There are more lumps and I believe they are planning on needl...

sg · sg

Yesterday was the three kid's school conferences. The two oldest (15 and 13) are mine from a previous relationship. The youngest, 6, is my A's biological son. When I met my A. he was so excited to have me and my kids in his life. After his relapse years ago (and continued drinking) their relationshi...

Froggie · Froggie

I just found this board and was so excited to find it. I haven't attended an AlAnon meeting since last July when I moved from one state to another. I am really beginning to feel the need for meetings but there are so few here compared to all the choices that I had while living in MA. Whil...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi all, On my way to work I got to thinking. We had given are old car to my sister and I took it back for a few days while mine is getting fixed. This car is old but runs fine. I got rid of it because of what I think of when I'm in this car. Almost a year ago my A was at his worst or so I thou...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I'm little confused right now. I am trying to do what's right. To sum it up quickly for anyone that doesn't know. Here goes; My husband was diagnosed with Alcohol Liver Disease, then he got fired from his job for drinking. He continued to drink, wasn't helping me with the kids, and was s...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

well its quarter after three in the morning and guess what my a still isnt home. big surprise. i dont have any feelings right now on this. i kept myself busy with my best friend. we went shopping and painted some of my furniture. it looks great. she just left. im not surprised he's not home. i had a little bi...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

Well I went by the house yesterday to pack some things and some of the utilities had been shut off. (they were in my name) My husband was irate! He threatened to "stomp me in the ground", throw my personal belongings in the yard and called me every name he could think of. I found myself...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends :) I am home and all is going well. I so enjoyed the time with my parents and things there for me are stressful, enjoyable, exhausting and relaxing. My mom had tests and has bleeding in her stomach :( We will find out later what is causing it and get the biopsy results back. I think it...

kitty · kitty

Today started out great, it's sorta gone down hill. I've been staying at my mom's, I want the company as much as she does & we love each other so much. It's just hard, for years she begged me to get therapy, here I go off to the therapist, taking her along with me, but she over reacts some...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It shows (Preview) Yesterday I took care of my money needs. Because of my husband asking me for money I put the money in a CD for 6 months so it can't be touch. While it is sitting there it might as well collect more interst then it does in the saving account. Well when I got home I placed the envoople of the cd on the bed he picked i...	nycbt	9	673	Nov 20, 2005 by TLC2
	I'm new, too (Preview) I never knew this place existed and am very happy at having found it! Many years ago I went to Al-Anon for about 2 years as both my Mom and husband were active alcoholics. I found the rooms to be a sort of haven for me and I felt good that I was finally doing something to try and understand...	jaja	7	743	Nov 20, 2005 by lin0606
	Serenity In Yosemite (Preview) Hello from the Yosemite,Ca AA/Alanon Summit Conference There is a program of Alanon meetings, AA meetings, Alanon speakers and AA Speakers. This is all set among great natural splendor. Here are some pictures: Maria, David, Megan by Bridalveilfalls, Ha...	megan	11	1355	Nov 20, 2005 by Faith73
	went to a new meeting this morn and I feel this is MY meeting now (Preview) on a Sat morn so not going out at night is a big plus after working fulltime during the weekdays larger meeting actually broke down to 3 separate meetings - 1) topic was Thankfulness 2) begineers and 3) step 8 well I knew I was nowhere near step 8! Ive heard that begineers should attend 6 begineer me...	Barbara	2	344	Nov 20, 2005 by lin0606
	Saturday night with my A (Preview) So he said I'll come so we can talk and I can help you out since this separation is hard on you. I said go see your mother and then come by. I told him Saturday I was going to town to get Thanksgiving groceries, go an Alanon meeting, and see my mother. So he stayed in my/our house and I drove 2 hours to my meeting....	nmike	2	521	Nov 20, 2005 by Dolphin123
	why is life so complicated..... (Preview) how come life is sooooo complicated. its never like that in fairy tales. when i was growing up, i had this rose tinted view of thw world. you grow up, find a guy, fall in love and live happily ever after... how wrong i was. im going to see my "A" 2moro in rehab... 4th sunday running. we spoke on the phone last n...	Rebecca	3	580	Nov 20, 2005 by Karilynn
	hey guys my husband came home :) (Preview) after work my husband came over and amanda was at a sleep over so we had a sleep over too lol. we decided that we are going to put our marriage first. and he even gave me money for the bills and rent my brother and the best part it was friday !! i will write more later i know i have a long road a...	chrissy	6	430	Nov 19, 2005 by chrissy
	We aren't dating, he's my roomate!! (Preview) I asked him last night if he wanted to break up with me based on him never returning my calls, sleeping on the couch and lack of ANY intimacy. He said to me ''Are we dating?" Then heproceeded to try to make me feel guilty for hanging out with my friends who don't like him. He was sleeping, he is always sleepin...	Evilynn	4	454	Nov 19, 2005 by BlueCloud
	The Saga Continues (Preview) Hello everyone First of all, thanks for your support on my last posting. It helps so much! So my husband went to the PO and he sent him to an outpatient program for 10-20 days. He goes M-F 8:00 am-2:30 pm. He came home crying about how am I going to work to support my family? You sh...	browneyes	4	398	Nov 19, 2005 by leo
	taking care of me physically, emotionally and spiritually (Preview) I think after 6wks Ive finally designed a "program" for myself that I believe I can work. Physically - I joined Curves, Mentally - I found a Sat morn AlAnon group and Spiritually - Ive joined a new Church	Barbara	3	696	Nov 19, 2005 by Barbara
	update on danielle (Preview) Hi all... This is an update on Danielle, the friend of my daughter who was seriously injured in an auto accident a few weeks back. She is still unconscious, has had plastic surgery on her face to fix broken bones, and is responding to being pinched, or having her nose wiped, etc. But the d...	lmt123	5	406	Nov 19, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Good things are falling into place (Preview) Hi, What a weird day. When I got the mail this afternoon, there was something from unemployment for my husband. In case it was important I opened it. it seems after a claims investigator spoke with my husbands boss, they decided to reinstate his unemployment. The check is to follow and will be retroa...	Jeannie	9	628	Nov 19, 2005 by Dolphin123
	the program only works if I have coffee (Preview) OK. Phone call this morning at 7:00 am....pre-coffee experience. Not a good time for me to focus appropriately and detach. I am not the most pleasant person in the morning. It is my stepdaughter's mother on the phone. My A was supposed to see my stepdaughter today and she spoke wit...	Kim	6	711	Nov 19, 2005 by Barbara
	Am I crazy??? (Preview) Hello everyone Hope you are well... Just a quck question- This week I have been dealing with a lot of waiting to find out if my husband is going back to jail or not. And a lot of it has been due to him avoiding the Parole Officer and him telling me all about how he is going to fake the test and blah b...	browneyes	7	476	Nov 19, 2005 by Rebecca
	Where there's a will, there's an A LOL (Preview) Well today my a badgered my 13 yo daughter for money 6 times. The offers included I'll pay you back double, I'll let you hold my engagement ring so you know you can trust me, what can I buy you to get you to give me the money. When she held strong, in between the times the 13 oo refused, she asked me f...	bobump	5	764	Nov 19, 2005 by tiredtonite
	the invoice from experience can be a b** (Preview) Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. --Minna Antrim** It is not by chance but by design that the sorrows we experience throughout our lives are countered by equal servings of joy. One offsets the other. And we are strengthened by their combination.Our longing for only lif...	rosie light shines	0	426	Nov 19, 2005 by rosie light shines
	yaaay!! i CAN now accept my feelings (Preview) Accepting Our Feelings Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.We may deny that we feel fr...	rosie light shines	0	362	Nov 19, 2005 by rosie light shines
	"A" daughter doing very well :) (Preview) Hello Friends, I was able to meet my recoverying alcoholic/drug addicted daughter today for dinner and it was a real blessing. The more I have stayed out of her issues, the closer we have gotten. She even shared with me about her meth usage which wasn't much (Thank God). She is able to talk so op...	cdb	13	1733	Nov 19, 2005 by Karilynn
	Helpless newbie (Preview) Hi, I am new here. I really don't know where to begin. I believe my husband has a drinking problem but he refuses to acknowledge it. Back when we were just friends he used to drink excessively and pass out everytime we went out. It was a running joke to draw on him, etc. I d...	chilley	7	695	Nov 19, 2005 by Karilynn
	heard from my A last night, irony or HP? (Preview) Last night my A called about 10 pm. He was wondering "what was going on with us" as he hadn't heard from me in a few days. I thought he was to call me last and I told him that, as well as that I assumed that he was doing things for him as was I. The conversation went well, for me...... he sounded terr...	Kim	5	675	Nov 19, 2005 by Karilynn
	For Mikeanon (Preview) Hi Mikeanon, If you are reading this I hope that you have chosen to post on here, it is a great place full of the most wonderfull people, some of whom don't use the chat room, so if you have I hope you find the strenth and encouragement that you need at this time in your life...We are all her to help eachothe...	flumpy	0	513	Nov 19, 2005 by flumpy
	He really went! (Preview) Hi everyone, My husband had his evaluation today. I spoke to him this morning, he told me how worried he was. He said what about the bills? What if I get one of the jobs I applied for etc? Then he said we have another problem, the rehab is $200 a day co-pay and even if I go outpatient there is a co-p...	Jeannie	15	670	Nov 18, 2005 by Jill
	my life is slipping away (Preview) Ok, so my twenties were exciting & still seemed to drag at times. My thirties have flown by, I don't know what is happening to my life. I am so far behind... I loathe dealing with the mail, I must have a pile on my desk 2 yrs old w/ stuff that needs to be shredded. My ex def mad...	kitty	6	833	Nov 18, 2005 by Jeannie
	God's Highway... (Preview) Okay, so as a video editor, amongst other fun things I get to do in my business, I was struck with this concept of God's Highway one night when my son was sick and having a hard time sleeping. Since I knew I was going to be awake pretty much all night with him I decided to do something not business relat...	Satori	6	481	Nov 18, 2005 by sandie123
	today's gift....writing my OWN song (Preview) *One comes in the end to realize that there is no permanent pure relationship and there should not be. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh* Whether we are teenagers in love for the first time, or parents who have been married for twenty years, relationships can turn into obsessions if we're not careful. We can...	rosie light shines	3	484	Nov 18, 2005 by kissers
	My B-Day :) (Preview) I was abandoned by my mother before my first birthday. Since then, I have always wanted a big do on my birthday. Kind of a validation that people are glad that I am alive. Every year (before this one) I expected people to remember, and to make a big fuss. I was always dissappointed. I would ne...	captcodee	14	929	Nov 18, 2005 by Karilynn
	Going home (Preview) School will be out in about 1 hour. Then it will be time for me to go home--as I fly down the road, telling myself to go slow my speed will not change anything--but who am I kidding I will still fly like bat--hoping above and beyond all hope to find my a at home. I wish the end of the day were right this i...	hudsond	2	635	Nov 18, 2005 by jaja
	tonights topic, becoming aware.... (Preview) The ESH tonight made me thing of something today where I think of a situation where I really couldn't have handled it as well as (I think) I did. One of my a's rags was about when would I sleep in the the bed again. I was able to answer the question. Not so much to her satisfaction but to...	bobump	5	455	Nov 18, 2005 by jaja
	the a will be working (Preview) I'm a little torn on this. And that fact that I am speak volumes to how early I'm in my journey of recovery. The A called me today. She got a part time job. My first thought was ugh....well now she'll have plenty of money to drink. Another thought I had was, resentment based...	bobump	4	647	Nov 18, 2005 by canadianguy
	Am I detached yet? (Preview) I'm sitting in the room with my a, he just came home from a several day business trip. He left the room, I thought I could smell it on him but I just wasn't sure. I walked to his drink, took a sniff and was still unsure. You ask, HOW? I still deny it sometimes. I took a swig, it...	sallyb	7	701	Nov 18, 2005 by nycbt
	love me or dump me, but it will be the REAL me you love/dump (Preview) Hope for Today - November 18 When I was eleven years old, my father was hospitalized. In an effort to protect me, I was told the other person in my father's room was very sick, not my father. Eventually I discovered what really happened. My father had suffered a heart attack. I f...	rosie light shines	0	323	Nov 18, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I'm having a hard time talking with my a.... (Preview) in many different regards. One of them is my A says I never talk to her about things. Her chief complaint at the momen is that I called her psychiatrist again. She wants to know why I do things behind her back. Honestly htere are a few reasons. It's my whole conflict avoidance thing. I know it's going t...	bobump	11	537	Nov 18, 2005 by bobump
	getting sick (Preview) Today is his payday. He is getting his normal paycheck, plus a commission check. He told me a few days ago he would bring them to me after he got paid becasuse he can't trust himself with money right now. Well he hasn't been by. He was suppose to get my dad's truck detailed today...	hudsond	1	422	Nov 18, 2005 by canadianguy
	Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Preview) I feel like i'm living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My husband (my A) is a very loving caring person to me when he is not drinking. As soon as he starts drinking he turns on me. I can see the scowled look in his face and he won't talk to me. He goes out of his way to talk to the boys and totally ignores me. If...	shadow1	8	636	Nov 18, 2005 by gardengal
	For our New Members (Preview) To all those who are new to this message board, I'd like to say Welcome! My name is Kathy and I've been a member of Al Anon for around three years now. A little background on how I found this meeting.... I had been doing everything I could possib...	KathyS	6	718	Nov 18, 2005 by Barbara
	A MOMENT OF SILENCE (Preview) Dads Poem Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew jus...	Lauren ashley	5	646	Nov 18, 2005 by kitty
	I'm new too (Preview) but not to al anon. I went to about 6 months worth of meetings oh, about 2 years ago. I don't do well talking in front of groups. but writing is a different story! a friend told me about this and well, here I am ;) I am planning to attend (hopefully) some of the morning meetings during the week. that i...	tobyo	5	719	Nov 17, 2005 by tobyo
	A Poem of Love (Preview) I was always encouraged to make things growing up. Three years ago I made a card for my "parents" (mother & her husband - the aalb). It was their 23rd Anniversary (last week they are at 26) - it was really special to me, I love the #23, here goes the card: Love is never ending infini...	kitty	5	699	Nov 17, 2005 by Jeannie
	This week so far... (Preview) My mother went on a drinking binge and told my father she wanted to go back home to Boston. He of course listened to her, when she was drunk and got her a plane ticket. He alerted her family, they changed their plans and their lives and then she changed her mind at the last minute. And why not, she made her dec...	Evilynn	3	392	Nov 17, 2005 by Kim
	Haven't heard from my A in a while (Preview) Hey Roomies: Last night I started being a little "uncomfortable" with the fact that I haven't heard from my A since Sunday. Actaully as far as him contacting me it's been since Sat. I have to travel past the sober house in the morning to get to work, so I see he is there, but no call. This is new to me...	Kim	5	461	Nov 17, 2005 by Kim
	the day after (Preview) hi everyone and thank you so much for all of your supportive replies. as for the topic of boundaries/ consequences the boundary is already set he cant come home while drunk/high so he comes home early the next day. but he is usually still high. he handed all his bank and credit cards over to me so he wont ev...	notsonew1111	5	723	Nov 17, 2005 by cdb
	Live for Today.. just a reminder (Preview) I got this today and thought it might help others as it did me. The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exist; ours only is the present's tiny point. --Shabestari We are tempted to look back and to look ahead. But what we most need to do is be present in this moment, wit...	sandie123	3	514	Nov 17, 2005 by cdb
	this afternoon (Preview) well my a went to work today which is a huge surprise. he came home for lunch walked right up to me and was crying. he said im so sorry. i feel so bad. i need help and i will do it all on my own. i know you dont believe me. apparantly there was no coke being used last night because no one had money. dont know i...	notsonew1111	3	444	Nov 17, 2005 by cdb
	My "a" still wants to use marijuana (Preview) Hi Group, I posted yesterday asking about the affects of withdrawel that marijuana may have on someone. I got some good responses. Well, I got home yesterday and my "a" says, "Well, I won't be drug tested for another 4or5 weeks" So of course this gives him a reason to continue to u...	twinmom2	7	1055	Nov 17, 2005 by captcodee
	those w/children and As at home - f2f meetings how many? (Preview) How many f2f meetings do you get to each week? Im trying a new place this Sat - find it difficult to get out during the week. I have both a teen and an A husband at home.	Barbara	7	892	Nov 17, 2005 by AlaMom
	trading one compulsion for another???? (Preview) Escape into Sleep After we stop eating compulsively, we may be tempted to use sleep as a form of escape. Though not as detrimental as excess food, too much sleep can also make us lethargic and dull. The danger lies in allowing ourselves to escape the realities of living, rather than coping with the...	rosie light shines	0	668	Nov 17, 2005 by rosie light shines
	wisdom for today....preparation for my promises (Preview) Wisdom for Today When I first came into the program, I was overwhelmed by the thought of never drinking or using drugs again. The thoughts of "forever" seemed like too much to handle. Fortunately, I learned quickly that all I needed to do was stay focused on today. There was nothing I could do about al...	rosie light shines	0	1125	Nov 17, 2005 by rosie light shines
	consequences? (Preview) kind of figured out a little bit about what im troubled with. im seeing my a is not suffering any consequences from his behavior lately. he knows im not leaving because its not what i truley want right now and im not ready. so please give me some suggestions on consequences i could give him that dont inclu...	notsonew1111	12	767	Nov 17, 2005 by bobump
	The Balance of Trust (Preview) We got on the top in my step meeting today about Trust. Someone mentioned that they trust everyone until they get burned and how this wasn't healthy. I was giving the acknowledging nod and chuckling thinking that is me. Trust, most definately an asset. Taken to an extreme it cou...	bobump	9	696	Nov 17, 2005 by marmare
	I always had you, but never acknowledged it (Preview) I always had you, but never acknowledged it I wanted someone to love me I wanted someone to care I never acknowledged that you God were always there I had something missing in my heart For my life was falling apart I thought you God had abandoned me For I was lost in the dark, and I c...	Lauren ashley	3	582	Nov 17, 2005 by marmare
	KEEP COMING BACK (Preview) "Keep coming back" is a phrase we often hear in alanon.Why is it so important? Because many of us have grown hardened in our fights with alcoholics or flights from alcoholics that we basically found it difficult to sit still for the process of recovery. We had to have answers right away or take actions r...	gardengal	2	861	Nov 17, 2005 by browneyes
	Husband off to thyroid doctor today (Preview) In Aug husband had his left kidney removed. The cancer was malignent but encapsulated. (That wasnt enough to get him to quit drinking. He actually increased!) Today he's off to the thyroid doctor. They did the ultrasounds, ctscans, etc. There are more lumps and I believe they are planning on needl...	Barbara	3	361	Nov 17, 2005 by KathyS
	Clueless (Preview) Yesterday was the three kid's school conferences. The two oldest (15 and 13) are mine from a previous relationship. The youngest, 6, is my A's biological son. When I met my A. he was so excited to have me and my kids in his life. After his relapse years ago (and continued drinking) their relationshi...	sg	1	407	Nov 17, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I'm new to the board (Preview) I just found this board and was so excited to find it. I haven't attended an AlAnon meeting since last July when I moved from one state to another. I am really beginning to feel the need for meetings but there are so few here compared to all the choices that I had while living in MA. Whil...	Froggie	8	638	Nov 17, 2005 by Froggie
	rock bottom (Preview) Hi all, On my way to work I got to thinking. We had given are old car to my sister and I took it back for a few days while mine is getting fixed. This car is old but runs fine. I got rid of it because of what I think of when I'm in this car. Almost a year ago my A was at his worst or so I thou...	nikkilou	9	731	Nov 17, 2005 by twinmom2
	Damned if I do, or if I don't? (Preview) Hi, I'm little confused right now. I am trying to do what's right. To sum it up quickly for anyone that doesn't know. Here goes; My husband was diagnosed with Alcohol Liver Disease, then he got fired from his job for drinking. He continued to drink, wasn't helping me with the kids, and was s...	Jeannie	9	483	Nov 17, 2005 by leo
	the end of my day :( (Preview) well its quarter after three in the morning and guess what my a still isnt home. big surprise. i dont have any feelings right now on this. i kept myself busy with my best friend. we went shopping and painted some of my furniture. it looks great. she just left. im not surprised he's not home. i had a little bi...	notsonew1111	4	715	Nov 17, 2005 by hudsond
	Update on leaving my husband (Preview) Well I went by the house yesterday to pack some things and some of the utilities had been shut off. (they were in my name) My husband was irate! He threatened to "stomp me in the ground", throw my personal belongings in the yard and called me every name he could think of. I found myself...	JulieLynn	8	923	Nov 17, 2005 by JulieLynn
	cdb is back :) (Preview) Hello friends :) I am home and all is going well. I so enjoyed the time with my parents and things there for me are stressful, enjoyable, exhausting and relaxing. My mom had tests and has bleeding in her stomach :( We will find out later what is causing it and get the biopsy results back. I think it...	cdb	8	669	Nov 17, 2005 by leo
	wedged between a rock & a hard place (Preview) Today started out great, it's sorta gone down hill. I've been staying at my mom's, I want the company as much as she does & we love each other so much. It's just hard, for years she begged me to get therapy, here I go off to the therapist, taking her along with me, but she over reacts some...	kitty	4	1071	Nov 17, 2005 by leo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.